2 YEARS LATER

INCHEON AIRPORT

This is the first time Jaejoong step his foot in the country that he was born after 2 years 6 month he been on the State. As soon as he stepped out of the arrival gate, camera starts to flash to catch the glimpse of the singer. Maybe it because of his new album that is out a few weeks ago became a hot topic.

He doesn’t know why he is still popular when he doesn’t even contribute in promotion of his new album. The reason he here in Korean is because of the awards show that he been invite. If not because of the awards show that will be held in 2 days, he doesn’t think he will step his foot on this country that soon.

As he walk pass the crowd, he never forgets to flash his smile to the camera and waving to his fans. This is the first time he feel so happy after all the years he rest from his music career. He can’t wait to be on the stage again soon.

~~~

-CHANGMIN RECORDING STUDIOUS-

‘It been 2 years’ Changmin thought silently. It had been 2 years since he lost his beloved brother. It also been about a year and half that he quit his study and be a song writer like his brother.

He never regrets choose to quit his study and become song writer. He thought by being a song writer he can keep a part of his brother with him. So when his brother friend, Yoochun, asks him whether he regret choose this path as a life career he just smile and said that he never regret doing something like his brother did.

He now was one of the most famous song writers in Korea. Just like his brother he success as a song writer in such a short time. Many recognize his talent as the song he writes almost great like his brother.

But what makes him different than his brother is his low profile life. He can’t stay in a rich residential apartment because it makes him remember his brother. He can’t go to a certain place that will make him remember his brother as hospital and café.

He even avoids going to hospital when he had a high fever because he afraid it will make him remember his brother and it will surely make his fever worst.

All this time without his brother was hard for him. He even locks himself in his room for 3 month after his brother death. If not for his Yoochun hyung who pursued him to move his life on by saying his brother will get mad at him if he continue his life under depression like he did that time he thing he must has die right now.

He feel really grateful towards his Yoochun hyung who always been by his side all along that hard time. As he think about all those time his office door been open.

He looks at the door before smile at the said person.

“Yoochun hyung” Changmin said with a grin.

“Long time no see maknae-ah” Yoochun reply with a smile. He really misses this dongseng of his as he always has to work in other country often.

Changmin just smile before reply

“What bring you back here hyung? I thought that you will be in Japan for another week before you come back here.”

“Yah…how can you ask that when you know the reason I’m back here” Yoochun reply in annoy and a slight sad voice.

Changmin just hang his head low as he remember what anniversary that they going to celebrate in 2 days.

“Changmin-ah, I’m sorry” Yoochun said in sad voice. He didn’t mean to make Changmin sad but he knows that Changmin has learned to accept what happen to his beloved brother.

“It’s okay” Changmin reply weakly as he flashes his fake smile.

“So how work was going?” Yoochun ask as he tries to change the gloomy mood in the office room.

“It been better exactly” Changmin reply with a smile that seems more sincere.

Yoochun could see that Changmin was getting happier with each day pass. He wonder what or who make this handsome guy in front of him smile like when he with his alive brother. He thinks he got an answer but of course he has to ask this young guy for an exact answer furthermore he was like this guy second brother of course after Yunho.  

He clears his throat before ask the question that hunt him in the last few month.

“So Changmin mind to tell me who was the person that can make you smile this bright” Yoochun ask he try to control his smile.

“Why you ask ‘who’ hyung? Why didn’t you ask ‘what’ instead?” Changmin reply with a question instead of answering the question that been asked.

“You know why I ask ‘who’ instead of ‘what’ right. So spill”

“I don’t know what you are talking about hyung” Changmin reply as he tried to avoid the questions again.

Yoochun sigh.

“My baby Changmin~” Yoochun said in the most sweet voice that make Changmin cringe.

“Don’t call me like that hyung. It weird” Changmin answer while close his ears with both of his hand.

“Just spill if you didn’t want me call you like that. And believe me I have another 1000 and more greasy and cheesy nickname that I can call you sweetheart~” Yoochun reply with an evil grin because he know he already win.

“Alright…alright I tell so shut up” Changmin said while sigh heavily because he know he already lose to ‘this’ hyung of his.

“A few months ago I meet with this cute one” Changmin said why blushing. “Exactly I think I meet him while I take care of hyung.”

Yoochun nod as he urges Changmin to continue. Changmin take a deep breath before he continues.

“I don’t sure whether it true or not because I just caught a glance of him. So move forward…I meet him at the café that hyung always go. I don’t know what bring me there because I always avoid going to place that hyung like.”

“Before that day, I always dream I meet hyung at that café and he introduces someone to me in that dream. But I couldn’t figure out who that person is. Until I go to that café and see this one guy wear something that looks exactly the same as in my dream. I approach him because I want to know whether he had anything to do with hyung. Then I learn that he is a big fan of hyung’s song but he never ever meets him in person. He had all hyung song from different artist that sing it. He just love the song that hyung wrote so much because he think all that song was so sweet and like a fairytale. But he love hyung last song the most because it was so painful. He never knows why he loves that song. He said he just love it.”

“Wait…waits Changmin-ah. Why your entire story involves Yunho?” Yoochun ask as he thought it was suppose to be Changmin love romantic story but it turn out otherwise.

“I also don’t know why it involves hyung to much” Changmin said while thinking about what Yoochun said.

“Whatever…Just skip Yunho part and tell me about you and him” Yoochun said while shaking his head to avoid the growing headache.

“Alright…from then we start to change our number, then we start messaging or call each other and we also sometimes meet each other and chat to know each other new activities” Changmin said while try to sort out everything about Yunho in the topic.

“Just that short” Yoochun ask in unbelievable tone.

Changmin nod his head as to confirm Yoochun acumens.

“So all you talk about is about Yunho” Yoochun ask as his eyes widen when he saw Changmin nod.

“And I also bet that he doesn’t know that you are Yunho younger brother” This time Yoochun mouth was hanging open as he really couldn’t believe that Changmin just nod his head.

“I can’t believe you Jung Changmin” Yoochun scream as he points his finger at Changmin.

“Well you have to believe it because I has already done it” Changmin answer nochantly.

Yoochun sigh heavily “So when you want to tell him?” he asks again.

“In 2 days maybe” Changmin answer.

“You want to tell him in Yunho death anniversary?” Yoochun ask disbelief. “That not even romantic. Who in his sane mind who reveal everything in someone death anniversary” he add.

“I think I will be the only one” Changmin reply with a stupid grin.

“I don’t want to know anymore” Yoochun said as he thinks that the head ache he tried to avoid has come back.

‘What should I do with you Changmin-ah?’ Yoochun said in his head.

~~~

 “Where are we going Changmin-shi?” Karam ask as he keeps looking outside the window of the car. He had no idea where Changmin would bring him to.

Suddenly the car comes to a halt. Karam look around as he realizes that there are in one of the grave yard just a few hours outside Seoul. He gave Changmin a weird look as Changmin ask him to get out of the car.

Changmin took Karam hand in his as he walk up the stair to go to his brother grave. Karam just walk by Changmin side in a death silent. He doesn’t know what is playing in the other man head. Changmin step come to a stop as they are near the end the of the grave yard where there are only one lonely grave that are facing the sea as the sun can still been seen rising from the sea as it still early in the morning.

Karam look up and can see a very sad smile decorate Changmin face. He soon faces the stone that been grave by a name that make him speechless.

“Ju-Jung Yunho” Karam said disbelief. Many thought come running in his mind. How Changmin did knew where Jung Yunho grave is? Because what he heard from the news said, only the family and close friend of Jung Yunho know where it was located.

“He is my brother” Changmin said as like he knows what in Karam mind. Karam eyes were wide open and his mouth gap like fish in the land because of what Changmin said.

“Yo-your brother” he ask in disbelief. “That make you the new song writer ‘C’, that popular as you write a song almost like what your brother write” Karam exclaim again with a really-really unbelievable face.

Changmin just nod because he doesn’t have anything else to say or want too.

“You can hate me” Changmin suddenly said to broke the cold silent.

“Are you for real” Karam exclaim with a weird look. “Why I have to hate you when you clearly one of a very good song writer and I-I…IthinkIlike you.”

Changmin can’t hear clearly what Karam is saying but he catches a few words that are ‘like you.’ Unconsciously a smile starts to form on his face. The fact that Karam like him and not mad at him make him feel relieve.

“Thanks hyung” Changmin said while put the flower he brought on his brother grave stone. “I will get married and be happy like you wish me too because now I think I have found that person and I think you will bless us right, because you the one bring me to him.”

Karam just standing there while try to absorb all of Changmin word. ‘He already had someone he love’ Karam thought without knowing who that person is and how lucky that person is to have Changmin as their husband.

Changmin take a look at Karam and a sad smile that decorated Karam face makes Changmin worried as hell. He doesn’t know what happen to him but one thing he knows. He doesn’t like to see Karam sad face so he swears to himself that he will make this person in front of him happy.

Karam look up when he feel a hand was softly his cheek. He saw Changmin smile brilliantly at him while slowly bend on his knee.

“Would you marry me” Changmin said strong and clear. He know that he not perfect and he also know that he still need to learn how to love and he hope that he will face all this new adventure by having this beautiful creature by his side. Furthermore he propose in front of his brother grave because he want his brother to watch the person that he choose as his life partner and he hope his brother will bless them.

“I…I…” Karam can’t say anything other than crying. He was so happy until he can’t say anything other than nod his head. He will be with the person that love him and accept everything about his self even his complex. No word can describe how happy and bless he were.

“Thank you for accept a guy like me. I promise you I will try really hard so that you always happy” Changmin said as he tighten his hug on Karam.

Karam look up to Changmin before turn his body to his soon-to-brother-in-law grave. “I will try really hard to make him happy so rest in peace” Karam said in determination voice that he also doesn’t know where he got it.

They spent a few more minutes in front of the grave before drove back to Seoul because Changmin has an important awards show that he has to attend.

~~~ 

 -AWARDS SHOW-

Changmin arrived at the award show at 7.30pm. He walks in the red carpet as been instructed and finally today the world will know who the genius composer ‘C’ is.

Changmin wore the cold façade when he in front of the camera not once he smile and just stood still before bowing and when get inside the studio where the awards been held. He just sits quietly at his place until the ceremony start. If not because of his Yoochun hyung that have to be on Japan at the last minute, he doesn’t think he attend this ceremony with his identity as ‘C’ the genius song writer.

~~~ 

Jaejoong arrived at the awards show a little bit late because of the traffic. But he manages to get inside the hall before the ceremony start. He starts to look around the hall in case he could make that one person but to his dismay he can’t see that handsome face.

‘Maybe he doesn’t write any song or maybe he asks the other to attend on his behalf’ Jaejoong thought to his self.

The ceremony start with a few new groups performs and then a few award such as a best new group and so on.

The second part of the ceremony starts with the DBSK performance. Jaejoong doesn’t know why by he seems to give this group his attention.

The five boys stand in the middle of the stage with a white outfit that suits them. The hall becomes quiet when the instrument starts to play.

Why do tears come out? Why do they flowing… flowing continuously?
My words fail to reach your feelings
What we weaved, past echoing sounds
As if milling about, they trickle down my cheeks

Just saying things like “I love you”, for sure it’s impossible for me to express anything
It always feels so distant whenever I put it in words

Although I already told you so much
Because I still want you to know, so I sing

I love you, so I love you. I love you…Even if without words

By the sound of love, by the song of love
I’m going to reach you; it’s my love song

Getting drowned in rushed days, your heart is going to be submerged by them
Your voice seems to be breaking and I can’t answer it
Some people noticed it, some people don’t
Even though they’re aware of it, today as well it’ll be washed away

Pretty words such as “love” alone cannot save anything
My wishes grow stronger… more tenderhearted
Although I still can’t see the answer
Someday I believe I’ll reach you, and I sing:

I love you, so I love you. I love you…
…Even if I can’t make it ring in my voice

For sure, love will reach there
For your sake I’m singing my love son

Things that take the shape of love deceive us about its true meaning
Close your eyes, don’t hesitate anymore
I’ll shout this as many times as it takes until you smile

I love you, so I love you. I love you…
…Even if without words

By the sound of love, by the song of love
I’m going to reach you…

It’s my love song.

When the song end, Jaejoong don’t realize he was crying until a hand gave him a tissue. He accept the tissue and say thank you before his mind try so hard to think who was writing that song because he sure it has this Jung Yunho vibe.

He took a look a few times around the hall in case he accidently miss that face but still not able to detect that one face. He finally just gave up before return his face to the awards show.

He was surprise when his name been call as a best male artist winner. He thanks his agencies, his parent and family, his boyfriend, all the staff that work with him to make him this success and lastly he thank his fans that still love him all this time.

Changmin just scoff from his sit when he saw the smiling face of his brother ex-lover. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t like that guy. Maybe it was because that guy leaves his brother when his brother needs him the most.

Jaejoong return to his sit with a smile. He still couldn’t believe that he got the awards. Suddenly his ear perks up at the mention of the best song writer. He know that he also been nominated at that awards but he so sure that certain Jung Yunho will win. He can’t wait to hear was his ex-lover going to say went him already got the award.

“The winner is…Jung Changmin or C with the song I Love You” the awards presenter scream before the song of the said song been play.

Changmin was stunned because he really couldn’t believe that he got that awards when he just a newbie in the music industries. It took him a few minutes to come back to sense before he walk up to the stage and get his awards.

Jaejoong was surprise to hear the other name other than Jung Yunho but somehow that name seems familiar to him. He doesn’t know where he heard that but he sure he heard that name somewhere. He gives his full attention to the said male that was about to give him awards.

Changmin stay quiet for a while before take a deep breath and start his speech.

“I want to say thank you to anyone that love my song. These awards mean so much to me as a newbie. And I want to present this award to my late brother Jung Yunho. Hyung I made it” Changmin scream before say thank you and walk down the stage.

Jaejoong was left stunt at the word ‘late’ that come out from the mouth of Jung Changmin, Yunho younger brother. He was sure now where he heard that name before. But what made him nervous is, what he means by late?  

The award show goes on but Jaejoong can’t seem to focus until the end because his mind keeps thinking of Yunho.

As Jaejoong walk into the toilet after the awards, he was stunt to see Jung Changmin on the sink while washing his hand. He just stood still and doesn’t say a word as he keeps watching the man give him a cold glare through the mirror.

“What are you looking at?” Changmin said with his harsh-ice-cold voice.

“Did…did you mean late Yunho as Yunho already d-death?” Jaejoong ask as he feels a big lump on his troth.

“Why did you care? It’s not like you are someone special to him”

Changmin word make Jaejoong mouth dry as he tries to form a word to reply back.

“I’m his friend” Jaejoong reply in an almost a whisper.

“So you still consider yourself as his friend when you just dump him like he some of toys that are not useful anymore! You don’t even care to know how much his suffer when you break up with him! On top of that you just got a new boyfriend just after a few months you break up! Did you ever consider his feeling that time?! And now you still call yourself his friend while all this times all you do is hurting him and make him suffer!!” Changmin rise his voice and he doesn’t care if the whole galaxy hear it because he just to mad at this guy in front of him.

Jaejoong was left speechless with Changmin words. He can’t believe that he has done something that worse. He thought when he break up with Yunho that guy will be more happy because he doesn’t have anyone to bother him when he write his song.

Jaejoong doesn’t know that their break up will affect the said male that harsh. Without he realize his tears start to flow down his eyes and wetting his face. He feels like he the worst creature in this world to hurt someone that love him so much. He feel dirty and useless a feeling that he never know before.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” Jaejoong said while continue to crying really hard.

“There’s no use for you to say sorry. He had gone and there’s nothing you can do to bring him back” Changmin spat as he eyeing the crying man without a heart to help that guy stop his crying. He reaches his hand inside his back pack before throw a brown book that look like diary to the crying man before walk away.

~~~

Jaejoong was back at his apartment by the help of his manager. His manager seems surprise to see him crying on the floor in the studios toilet. He clutches the diary tight to his chest. He waits until his manager was gone before open the dairy slowly.

The front page of the dairy show Yunho pictures with his family and the other one was his picture with Yunho. He trace his finger at the yellowish picture that are showing how long has it been there.

He laughs as he read the first few pages where Yunho write his childhood memory. After a while he already reaches half of the dairy.

He eyes suddenly caught a picture of him with Yunho at the studio where there first meet. He read the word that been wrote below the picture.

Today was first time I meet Jaejoong.

He was so beautiful and I wonder is he an angel in human body. Haha..

He was also kind and nice so the word angel really suits him.

Wish I could make that angel mine. *dream of Jaejoong*

The simple word that been write under the picture make Jaejoong heart throb in a painful way. He now realizes how much Yunho love him. He opens the next page where he saw his picture with Yunho on their first date where they seem really love with each other. Slowly his eyes trace down where there are word been write there with so many smile emoticon.

First dates with my Jaejongie after he accepts to be my lover.

I’m so excited about today date until I forgot to sleep.

Wonder if he feels the same.

He looks at the next picture where they were in the café on their first date.

Luckily Jaejoong doesn’t seem to realize my clumsiness.

I almost let go of the glass of orange juice when he look at me

Stupid hand why you are shaking at the wrong time.

*mental note-Try not to be clumsy in front of Jaejoong. You can do it. Fighting!!!*

Jaejoong chuckling when he read that but he keep on reading until he arrives at the page where they broke up. There are only Yunho photo in it. He traces the photo where Yunho look so lonely in it.

Today he broke up with me.

My Jaejoongie broke up with me.

It hurt so much.

He doesn’t tell me why he wants to break up

He just says he tired of me.

It is true Joongie?

Jaejoong continue on reading until he arrives at the page where his heart shatters so much and he can’t help but to cry. There was a picture of Yunho in hospital bad look weak and sick. He never sees Yunho that weak and fragile.

Today is the day I found out I have brain cancer

It doesn’t affect me that much but when

I heard Jae got a new lover that evening

It hurt so much but I’m glad if he happy.

I hope he know that I will always pray for his happiness.

Jaejoong can’t bring himself to read more. It was so hard for him to know how miserable his ex-lover was when all he got was happiness. He think life is unfair but what a human being can do right to change it. He gathers his courage and continue write.

Today the company ask me to write a song for a group that call DBSK

I can’t seem to write any lovely song because it reminds me of him.

So in the end I write a sad song that I never write before.

He keeps on reading until he was at the last page.

Today is DBSK comeback show.

I feel sorry for them to make a comeback this early

When they were suppose to make a comeback next week.

But I’m glad that they want me to see their performance

As they know I can’t live any longer but

I don’t think I need to see how they sing the song because I believe they can

Deliver the emotion really well to the audients.

….

To my beloved Jaejoongie

Hope you will always be happy with whoever you choose to be your life partner

Hope whoever that person is, he will love you more that I can do.

I hope I still can say this to Jae.

/  /.<\ ``

Jaejoong was curious to know what the word that Yunho are going to write and all he could see was a line that look like the person that are writing had to stop because he doesn’t even have energy anymore. Because it looked likes scratch rather than alphabet.

Jaejoong was crying like a mad man. He believes that was the last time Yunho was still alive. He can’t believe even at the last minutes of his life the person that Yunho remember is him.

He feels sick of himself. He doesn’t know until now how cruel he was. He always thought that Yunho will be happy when he leave him cause he sure that Yunho love to write song more than him. He doesn’t even realize that all the song Yunho writes was all about them.

All this time all he do is force Yunho to spoil him and give his attention just to him. He doesn’t even realize that Yunho really loved him instead of using him like a certain people. He even brake up with Yunho because he feel Yunho is boring and he was tired of living that life while all he get all those time was a person that love him the most.

Jaejoong clutch the diary to his chest and cry until his fall asleep bringing his entire fault and hurt with him to the dreamland where he wish he could see the person that all this time just love him without asking for anything else.

~~~

It had been 3 days since he read Yunho diary. In the past 3 days all he does is cry, cry and a lot more cry. He forgets to eat his meal until his body weight decrease and it make his manager so worried about him. He has asked his manager to trace Yunho grave location a few days ago.

 And now here he was with a bouquet of white lily flower he standing in front of the grave stone. He can’t help but crying see the name that been engrave at the stone.

“I’m sorry Yunho-ah. I’m so sorry” Jaejoong said with a husky voice the result of crying for 3 days nonstop.

“I don’t mean to break up with you. At those times I just feel tired because you keep on writing your song and ignore me. My silly younger mind told me you don’t love me so that why I broke up with you Yunho-ah. I’m selfish because I don’t want you said that words first. But all my relation after that keep goes wrong because they said no matter what I do with them I will unconsciously call your name. I’m hurt to Yunho-ah.”

“I always want to say I love you and come back to you all those times but I choose not to because I’m afraid that you will push me away. I love you Yunho-ah. I love you so much” Jaejoong said as the tears keep flowing down his face.

Suddenly, a strong wind blows from the sea area and the rain start to pour down heavily wetting all the things in the land including Jaejoong. But Jaejoong choose to ignore the wetness and coldness of the rain water on his body. All he feels is hurt.

In his unconscious mind he feel like there are hand touching his body and the voice that he been dying to hear all this time was whispering to him “I Love You to Jaejoong-ah” is the last word he heard before blackness took his world.

-------

A/N; I write this chapter because some off you are curious about the reason why Jae break up with Yun.So here it is.Althought I know it doesn't make sense I still write it.So please bear with the grammatic error.And thanks for subscriber and commenter.