Suho sits down to write a letter at 12.05 am January 1st 2015

Dear Kris, or better referred to as Wu Yi Fan

          You didn’t think we would get your letter, but we did.(Let's just pretend we did, if you ever wrote that is.) We don’t know if you will get ours, but I guess it’s worth a shot. (It probably won't.)

          Firstly, you have a lot of nerve to try and contact us, but then again I guess it’s the fact that you have the balls to do this that makes you who you are. We like the fact that you have the guts that we don’t. That’s why you were chosen as our leader.

          We understand that you are sorry (Baekhyun says you should be) and honestly, it’s hard to think about what happened and not be mad at you. Chanyeol was devastated. Sehun cried for days, Kai was heartbroken and I was terrified for the group. And Tao? Poor Tao…he took it the hardest.

          If I may speak on behalf of the whole group, I’m tired of being angry at you. We know why you left, and thanks to Luhan we have come to sympathise with you. Selfishly speaking, it wasn’t fair for you to bail when we were all still here, and you had a responsibility. But then again, you had the option of doing so. I would have taken the option.

          It was no piece of cake for us after you left either. Your toothbrush is still in the dorm, and Eurongie, the dumb stuffed dog you bought last year still sits on the couch, waiting for your return. There are fragments of you everywhere we go and every fragment cuts us like a knife.

          Work has numbed us, and there are some small merits that you have left. There’s one extra room in the dorm, less space consumed and we don’t have to have Korean beef all the time.

          Sorry, I was trying to be funny. It’s just miserable isn’t it?

          Guess I’m still not as funny as you.

          I would trade everything to have you back with us, but I can’t, and I probably shouldn’t. You would suffer and so would we. There’s no point turning back time when we know it would only hurt us again, but I’m glad that we mattered to you, even if it was for a very short period.

          Healing takes time, and I think you should forgive yourself for what you have done, because we have (or at least, slowly starting to). I realized that while I have 9 others boys to share my pain, you only have one, and that is Luhan. Not to compare numbers, but I worry about you too. I know you, you’re the kind to harbour all the guilt inside and let it fester before it explodes. You have to forgive yourself.

          Thank you for everything you have ever done for us, no matter how short it was. You are the best leader EXO could have and the best partner God could bestow upon me. Thank you for every lame joke and every rap line you sang. Thank you for every tear you shed and every minute you spend thinking about us. Thank you for the love you have showered upon us because that love is the one that has kept us going.

          My only available promise to you is to keep the group’s spirit alive. We have an image to uphold and a company to please, but I swear that as long as EXO is still standing, I will do my best to lead the group. You told me before that no matter how old we get, one of us must still be standing with the group. I will sink with this ship, and I want you to remember that you helped to create this group.

          Tao couldn’t read your letter without crying, but he knows what you are trying to say. He loves you so much and he still does. He’s waiting for the day you two can reunite.

          Chanyeol says as long as you come back, he’ll barbeque all the Korean beef you want. Baekhyun says your new song sounds great and Lay thinks you have lost quite a bit of weight, yet you still look good. Damn lucky bastard.

          Kyungsoo wants to watch your new film and Sehun wants to know how easy it was to play yourself in the film (he’s still a brat in case you haven’t noticed) and in case you haven’t noticed, we still kinda stalk you. It was Kai’s idea.

          I hope 2015 will be kind to you. A lot of people weren’t (including us) so I hope all of that kindness will be repaid. You are born to be loved, and we are so lucky to be born and loved by you.

Suho, leader of EXO

P.S EXO-M only has one leader, and that is you. There is no former and no future. Just you.

P.P.S EXO saranghaja

Neither letters get sent. Neither letters are received.

Yet, as both parties look out the window at the thundering fireworks that lighten up the night sky, they can't help but smile as if their letters had gotten through, and they weren't just sitting in their drawers.

Perhaps the letters were less meant for each other, and more meant for themselves.

A/N: Just some random to end 2014. It has been a very very challenging year for all of us and I just can't wait for 2015. It's 11.39 here and I'm counting down the minutes until I can start anew. 

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