It’s 6AM. When I hear my alarm, I startle awake. My body is really sweaty and my heart is beating like a freak. I had the worst nightmare ever. Or wasn’t this only a nightmare? Quickly I run downstairs and open the case of my bureau. When I see the letter in the case I can barely breath. Tears begin to flow out of my eyes. I collapse on the ground. It wasn’t only a nightmare. All this really happened. I try to wipe away my tears but they keep coming. I stand up but almost stumbled over my own legs. Luckely enough I could grasp the chair standing in front of my bureau. I don’t know what I’m doing. Everything is so hazy. Slowely I walk to the couch. I calmly sit down. Finally I’m able to wipe away all the tears and I sigh deeply. I smirk. I think back of that seconde time I saw dongho…

FLASHBACK

 with a happy face I walk down the streets. it was such a nice evening yesterday with my best friend. she is now staying at a hotel because my home is so small that I don't even have enough room for two people. we had so much fun, and the pie was delicious, because of dongho. I thought of him the whole day. it was so weird. after we introduced ourselves to each other we talked for a little while. it felt like we were friends for years,although it was kinda awkward. he is such a lively person. I think it was to bad that we didn't exchanged phonenumbers, but it just doesn't works like that in korea, I think. I'm completely drowned in my own thoughts when I suddenly hear someone cry. I look around but I can't hear where the noise is coming from. then all of a sudden I see a person in a side street. I can only see that it's a guy because of his posture. I look around the corner. what I see, really shocks me. I see a weeping dongho with a big knife in his hands.what is he doing?! is he trying to kill himself?! I don't really know what to do. when he moves the knife closer to his body I can't hold myself anymore. I run up to him. ''STOP!PLEASE STOP!'' I shout at him. he turns around when he hears me. ''please don't do this.'' I say with a shocked look on my face. ''JUST GO AWAY!'' he screams.''b-but, please.'' I stuttert. ''or I will kill you too, I mean it just leave!'' he shouted. I was shocked about his reaction. but I couldn't let him do this so I walked towards him. ''I'm really going to do it!'' he says threatening. he pointed at me with the knife. his hands were shaking. I walk closer to him. ''LEAVE ME ALONE!'' he screams while crying. I'm now standing infront of him. I put my arms around him. ''please don't do this.'' I whisper in his ear. tears are rolling out of my eyes. he is still shaking. then he suddenly drops the knife. he puts is arms around me too and holds me tight. ''everything is alright now.'' I wisper. he didn't respond. I could only hear him snobbing. but I don't care. the only thing I wanna know is, why would someone as cheerfull as him, kill himself from one day to another?

NOW

I sigh. how could I say so easily that everything was alright?! I'm still mad at myself for saying that. especially because he later told me why he wanted to do all this..

FLASHBACK

I'm walking back home. with dongho. I'm holding is hand. he didn't say anything all the way home.he is probaly still in shock from what happened. ''we are almost there oke?'' I say with a soft voice. he only nodded. I smile at him. we are finally home. I open the door of the apartment, still holding his hand. '' can you walk up the stairs by yourself?'' I ask with a little smile. again, he only nodded. I let go of his hand. I walk up the stairs, but I'm looking behind me almost every second to see what dongho is doing. I see that he is taking little steps. but I have time. when we arrive I open the door. I take a step inside.''aren't you comming in?'' I asked as friendly as possible. he didn't respond, again. he has a death look on his face. I decide to take his hand again. I walk into the livingroom, that is excually also the bedroom, with dongho slowely walking behind me. I gently place him on the couch and then sit beside him. he is still not talking. I can barely hear him breathe.I walk to my small kitchen to fill a glass of water for him. ''here drink this.'' I say. he takes the glass and drinks it in one gulp. I sit down beside him again with my hands between my legs. ''are you alright?'' I ask. at first I didn't get an answer, but then suddenly he sighs. '' no.'' he says. I look at him with a worried face. ''why not ?'' I ask him. ''할머니 '' he said. his voice cracked. ''할머니 ,,,할머니..'' he says.''what happened to your grandmother?'' I ask and I lay my hand on his leg. I hope that this will calm him a little bit. ''s-she,,died, he says.'' no,, no, I can't go back to my father, he is going to hit me again, no,no..'' he whispers and he looks like he is going to cry again. '' no, please don't!'' I say. please don't cry again. I hugged him. '' I feel so sorry for you.'' I say with tears in my eyes. I can feel his heartbeat. it's going very fast. I lay my hand on is chest and I smile at him. then suddenly he presses me against him. '' 감사합니다 '' he whispers and I feel some tears dripping on my neck. ''your welcome'' I say...

NOW

again, the tears a coming. even tough he was very thankful of what I had said that day, I still regret every word. How could I think of calming him with just a hug or some nice words?! he lost someone that meant everything to him. I couldn't even feel a teeny bit of his pain. after all those years, I now know how horrible he felt. not only that day, but his whole life...

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that was CH.2 ;D hope you enjoyed it. I decided , that I'm going to use Ukiss,, but the are only a group of friends, and not a boy band. ;3

and if you read this chapter very properly , you maybe found I link between ,, : I know it when people are going to bake something.'' ,, maybe an old memorie? and : '' 할머니 '' ,what means grandmother in korean ,, IF you didn't know x''P