The cars speeded through the roads and chatters filled the air but you couldn’t hear any of it. As you walked through the side path, causing white fog to form while you sighed, your thoughts were on him. “No matter how much I try, why can’t I reach him? Even though he’s so close, why does it feel like he’s far?”  BamBam was your classmate and a close friend who you had known since elementary school. He was the only foreign student in your class and you both had gotten close. You had started to develop some feelings for him but he never ever showed a hint that he had the same feeling for you. It was the second last day of the year and then tomorrow, would be the last day you get to be in the same class as him. You were transferring to another school and you hated it. Tears started rolling down your cheek and you wipe it away with your hands which were covered in mittens. You took the letter from your bag and opened it to read it for the 100^th time since you had written it. It read:

Hey BamBam,

Today is my last day as your classmate and I’m kind of sad about it. I know we’re friends but there’s something I have to say to you. Something I don’t have the courage to tell you in person. The thing is…I really like you...not as a friend but as a lover. Somewhere along the line, I fell in love with you. I’m sorry if you feel betrayed. I’m sorry. They say feelings can fade after some time…but I don’t know if my feeling for you will…Goodbye…I love you <3

Sincerely,

Your Cheeseburger.

A sad smile crossed your face when you read the last line. BamBam had always called you his “cheeseburger” when he introduced you to his friends or when you both were goofing around. “Tomorrow could be the last time I’d ever hear it.” You thought.

After the farewell party your classmates were going to hold for you, you were planning on slipping the letter in BamBam’s bag.

“If he reads it…he probably would never contact me again but if he too likes me…” You shook your head as if to shake off the thought. How could that ever be? Impossible… Even though you knew it could jeopardize your friendship, you couldn’t bear it anymore. Every time he called you “friend” it was like a sheet of pain covered your heart.

 The next day after school, you and your classmates went to the doraebang for your farewell party.

BamBam jumped and put a hand around your neck. “My cheeseburger~ I’m so sad that you’re leaving. You have to keep contact and promise we’ll meet often, okay?”

“Okay Bambam.” You said with a sad smile.

“Aigoo~ Are you so sad that I won’t be next to you? Don’t worry! This chingu will be always there for you.” Ouch…again chingu.

“Arasseo…” You slowly removed his hand from your shoulder and smiled the best you could. Its not that you weren’t thankful for his friendship. You were. But, your feelings that were pinching you from inside wanted more than that.

At about 10 o’clock, the farewell party got over and you exchanged hugs with all your classmates. Quickly, making sure no one noticed, you slipped the letter inside BamBam’s bag and picked up your own to go outside. Soon after you got out, BamBam followed.

“Will you alright walking alone this late?” asked BamBam in a concerned tone.

“Yes, I’ll be fine. If my home wasn’t the opposite direction, I would have walked you home.” You tried to maintain a stable voice as you felt like crying. You were scared your voice would crack and then he’d notice. You quickly turned away and started walking away.

“Bye BamBam~ Bye everyone~” You waved goodbye without turning back.

After walking for a while, you turned around to look behind you. The doraebang had disappeared from your view. You clutched the bag straps on your sides and stared at the side walk’s interlocked floor. If anybody had been careful enough or bothered to notice, they would have seen tears falling in trails on the sidewalk. Sometimes you made sounds as you cried but no one noticed. After sometime of walking, you reached your neighbor hood where the road forked. Instead of taking the usual road uphill, you walked towards the quiet alley between the abandoned shoe factory.

“I just need some time to cool off…that’s all. Just some more time…”

Your bag grinded on the wall as you slid on the wall and sat on the ground hugging your leg. You dug your head into your knees and the tears just started flowing. You were wailing…

“I don’t want to leave…if I hadn’t given the letter would I have been at least able to talk to him? I’m such a fool…but I love him…” Different thoughts rushed in your mind. You lifted up your head and tilted it back to rest it on the wall. You wiped your tears away.

“It’s cold…” You’re eyes felt heavy from the crying. “This is how my years ends…How lucky…” You thought. Just as you got up and brushed off the dust from your jacket, you heard a faint voice. You walk towards the lamppost near the fork in the road. Your jaw drops as you see BamBam running and panting. As he sees you, he calls out your nickname.

“Che-cheese bu-burger.” He called out trying to catch his breath.

“BamBam!?” you said in surprise

He ran towards you panting and stopped in front of you.

“You…why…”

“Calm down BamBam. Do you want some water?” You asked reaching for your bag on your shoulders.

He waved his hands in a “no”.

After a few seconds he had calmed down and you were about to ask him why he had been running so much when you saw the letter you wrote clutched between his fingers. Your face went white.

“BamBam I-I can explain.”

He had noticed that you saw the letter. “Is this true…what you wrote here?”

Your head hung low so he couldn’t see your face. You didn’t reply.

“Why didn’t you tell this to me all these years?” he asked. You felt a bit of anger in his tone.

“BamBam I’m sorry if I made you angry. I-“

“You bet I’m angry! You made me a fool!” Interrupted BamBam.

“I-I’m so sorry.” You said in a whisper.

“You-you! You never showed any sign ever! I gave you so many hints! I did so many things so that you’d notice that I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU! And now you scribble a confession on a piece of paper and try to leave?” he shouted.

There was a moment of silence. Did you just hear right? What did he say? You lifting your head to look at him, searching his eyes in surprise. His eyes were watery and his lips were trembling.

“What did you just say? BamBam…?” you asked

“I never got close to any other girl EVER. Every time I could be next to you, I stuck close. I covered up for your mistakes, tried to prevent you from getting into any kind of danger. But I was scared you would notice that I was giving off weird signals and push me away. So I kept calling you my “friend” but that hurt me a lot. I valued our friendship and didn’t want to destroy it if it meant that we’d never talk if I confessed.”

“BamBam…” tears started rolling down your cheeks. “I’m so so sorry…I wasn’t trying to run away…I love you…I love you so much. I didn’t want to destroy our friendship either but…I couldn’t bear it anymore. You’re my first love. The first guy whom I’ve fallen for…” You started crying uncontrollably.

BamBam came closer to you and took your hands and cupped it in his. “But I’m glad you did. Otherwise I would have never known that the girl whom I was madly in love with was in love with me too.”

You looked up at him. A tear was rolling down his cheek. “I’m glad it wasn’t too late. I’m glad we get to give us a chance. I’m SO happy that now I’ll be able to hold you close and call you my girlfriend. I can right?” he asked

“Yes.” You said bursting into tears. “I love you so much BamBam.”

“I love you more.” He pulled your hand, making you fall into his arms. You buried her head in his chest as he slowly tapped your back. “I love you so much my cheeseburger. You’re the love of my life.” He whispered in your ears.

After you both had calmed down, he took you back home. He locked his finger with yours and put in his jacket’s pocket.

“You’re cold right?” he asked with a smile.

“Umm.” You said with a nod and a wide smile.

“It doesn’t matter even if we can’t see each other in school. I have you. You’re mine and I can see you afterwards. That’s enough for me.” He said.

“All this has only happened in my dreams before.” You said giggling.

“I’ll make all your dreams come true. You have to make mine true too. Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Okay. Start by calling me honey.” Said BamBam with a sneaky smile.

“Honey? Seriously?” you laughed.

“Wae? Why? Do it~ Call me yeobeo~” he said doing aegyo.

“Yeobeo~~” you said extending the “o” a little and doing acting just as cute as him.

BamBam beamed. “This is the best new year ever~”

“For me too~ I love you~” you said with a smile, looking into his eyes.

“I love you too, my cheeseburger.”