"Get that little off of me." Kyungsoo growled, glaring at Key who was on his lap.

"Okay, okay jeez." Baekhyun said as he picked up the toddler from Kyungsoo's lap, "c'mon Key. Let's go somewhere else. We don't need that pmsing penguin."

"I hate kids." Kyungsoo muttered under his breath as he began wiping the coffee shop tables.

"You know thath pretty much uthleth sinth no one ever comth here." Sehun pointed out.

"Well you know what Sehunnie?" Kyungsoo asked sweetly.

"What?"

"I don't give a single . So you can take your ING LISPY COMMENTS AND SHOVE EM UP YOUR MILKY WHITE !"

"But soo, isn't it supposed to go up my ?" Kai broke in, looking extremely hurt. Only he was allowed to get Kyungsoo's meat.

"OH MY GOD I'M DONE WITH ALL OF YOU!" Kyungsoo screamed before locking himself up in the storage room.

"Dammit!" Chen cried, glaring at Luhan who was doing a celebratory dance. Grumbling, Chen took out a crisp twenty dollar bill and handed it to Luhan.

"The ?" Tao asked, completely confused.

"You see, Jonggay and I made a bet. I said that Kyungsoo would snap first and he said Kris would."

"I would wha-"

"Shut up Kris."

"ALL EMPLOYEES REPORT TO THE KITCHEN. I REPEAT, ALL EMPLOYEES REPORT TO THE KITCHEN!" Suho yelled through a megaphone that he had gotten from the refrigerator.  Kris had kept it there to keep the idiots away from it.

Over the next five minutes, everyone had gathered up in the kitchen waiting for the purpose of the meeting to be revealed.

"Chug! Chug! Chug!" Kai, Sehun, Chanyeol, and Jongdae chanted, watching Luhan drink up a bottle of bitter gourd juice.

"I know you're all wondering why I called you over here-"

"Hurry the up old man!"

"Oh no." Kai shook his head gravely, "I saw this in a movie once. They're sending us to a boot camp!!!"

"OH MY ING GOD NO! I MIGHT CHIP A NAIL!!" Tao cried, dramatically fanning himself.

"Boot camp huh?" Luhan grinned, he flexed his nonexistent muscles, "I think manly enough."

Minseok groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Boot camps," Kris started, leaning against the table, "aren't my sty-" The table broke, cutting of Kris and sending him down to the floor.

"NO YOU IMBECILES!!" Suho screamed, " WE'RE GOING ON A GOD DAMN VACATION!"

"Where to? I have triskadecaphobia." Lay said, looking extremely worried.

"You have a fear of the number thirteen?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Can we bring bae?" Baekhyun asked, holding up Key like Simba.

"No. What about his parents?" Suho asked.

"Oh yeah, I put up posters for a lost Key." Chanyeol said, holding up a poster with a picture of a door key with the words "lost key" written in what looked like chickenscratch.

"Oh my god you idiot!" Kyungsoo shrieked, wacking Chanyeol upside the head, "now we're never going to get rid of that...that..thing"

"Ohhhh, you meant Key the kid." Chanyeol realized, rubbing the growing bump on his head.

"Uh guys..." Lay broke in, still looking extremely worried,  "I still need to know where we’re going because you know, my triskadecaphobia."

“how do you feel about being in a room with 13 people Lay?” Baekhyun asked, placing a comforting hand on Lay’s shoulder.

"Wait there's thirteen of us? I thought there were three!" Lay cried, frantically scanning the room for the other ten people he forgot to acknowledge.
 

“No theres like 5 of us , kyungsoo, me , shoe, and bacon” Kai pointed out as a matter of factly.

Kyungsoo sighed, scratching his head. “Kai that’s four.”

“I forget . is the fifth person”

“ is not-” Kyungsoo took a deep breath in attempt to calm himself down before continuing, “a ing person.”

Suho surveyed the scene before him. In one corner of the kitchen sat a crying Lay surrounded by Baekhyun, Xiumin, Luhan, Tao  and a sleeping Chanyeol. In the corner sat  Kyungsoo and Kai arguing about the personification of , with Sehun and Jongdae as their audience. Suho sighed, he should have retired a long, long time ago.

“Hey babycakes”

“What?” Suho said, turning to face his boyfriend, who was lying amongst broken table parts.

“Whats say we get out of here and watch the dragon tales marathon” Kris suggested, aggressively wiggling his eyebrows.

Suho sighed and exchanged glances between his idiot boyfriend and idiot employees, before coming to the conclusion that dealing with one idiot was better than dealing with twelve. “Whats say we do.”

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wow its been 50 million years lmao

smh @ me