Won’t U try?

Take my hand. Run, run, run with me.

 

Min walked around the rooftop pretending that she was at the park watching the clouds on the blue sky just like she used to do before.

From where she was standing, Min could see everything, the blue sky, the big buildings of the busy Seoul, the people walking quickly from one place to another, the cars moving by…

She was envious of them. She also wanted to be down there, even though she knew she wasn’t prepared yet.

She couldn’t go out, she was a prisoner after all, and she was the one who arrested herself.

The first time she entered the bedroom she now shared with Lucelia, the older woman with grey hair asked Min what she did to be there.

“I tried to kill someone!” Min answered as if it was a natural thing to say.

“Was that person bad? Did she do something evil?” the older yet innocent woman asked.

Min pulled the sleeves of her left arm up and touched the bandages there.

“Yes….she kept whispering thing in my ears…she hated me!”

Min couldn’t leave the hospital because she tried to kill herself.

Min was healthy and the scars were disappearing.

She wished she could say it was all thanks to the hospital and her crazy roommate help but it wasn’t.

It was because she met Jinki.

She could remember the first day she noticed him.

Min was having another ty day as always and she was playing around with a wheelchair, sitting on it and using her feet to push it slightly when someone stopped her grabbing the chair preventing it from moving.

“You shouldn’t be playing with that!”

She looked up and saw a young man, probably her age staring down at her.

“And?”

She snickered at him and he grasped the chair smiling ready to push it.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” she screamed when he started running and pushing the wheelchair with her on it. “STOP!”

He came to a stop suddenly and she jumped on the seat touching her chest, almost falling from it.

He stood there watching her and Min looked back at him laughing.

 

I swear I won’t let you regret it.

Let’s go. Run, run, run with me.

 

That was incredible. She didn’t felt so alive in a long time. The adrenaline was still running trough her blood and she couldn’t help but laugh.

He stood there waiting for her to calm down and be able to breathe again.

“I’m Jinki!” he said introducing himself with a simple yet beautiful smile, showing his perfect teeth.

“I’m Min!”

“Nice to meet you rude Min!”

She gave him a sheepish smile.

“Nice to meet you crazy Jinki!”

 

Without love, we’ve glamorized the solitude night.

In a circle of smiles, I’ve come to like you, but can’t say “Hi”.

 

After that weird and bold encounter she started to notice him on the living room.

While the other patients were watching TV, screaming with each other, hitting their heads against the wall, her eyes were searching for him.

However Jinki probably couldn’t get out from his room every day because sometimes she wouldn’t see him for days.

Min wondered why he was there on the first place.

One day while they were playing a board game she asked him.

“Why did you try to kill yourself?”

He raised his eyes from the board observing her from under his light brown hair that was starting to get long, his dark brown eyes moving from her face to the scars she had on her pulse.

 

Counting down to 12:00, let’s try to finish this. The end is near.

 

Feeling watched, Min pulled her sleeve down covering the scars.

“Why do you think I tried to kill myself?” Jinki asked ignoring her reaction.

“You don’t seem crazy like the others…”

“Everyone is crazy!” he believed grabbing the dice and balancing them on the palm of his hand.

Min chuckled and looked around.

“Do you really think your level of craziness is like theirs?”

He looked away but nodded before looking back at her with a question on his lips.

“Why did you do it? Why did you try to kill yourself?”

 

Won’t U try?

 

Take my hand. Run, run, run with me.

 

She rubbed her finger on the beige table and looked back at him embarrassed.

“I didn’t see why I should stay here. I felt invisible. My friends didn’t see the real me, my parents were too busy thinking about their own problems and my sister was busy trying to enter college.”

“So you decided to end everything?”

“You also find it stupid? A coward thing to do?”

“No.” he threw the dice and made his mark advance on the board. “You just needed a helping hand and couldn’t find one. I’m glad you are still here!”

He seemed sincere and she felt glad she was also there.

“Thanks! “ Min mumbled.

Of course he could understand her; he also tried to do it. He didn’t have any marks on his wrist so she wondered how he did it and why Jinki didn’t want to talk about it.

Every time Jinki disappears from days she wonders where he goes. Therefore once she decided to ask one of the nurses who gave her a look as if she was a stupid girl in love.

“Home to his family!” was the answer with a teasing smile.

Min didn’t care about the nurses thoughts. She was happy he felt better and could visit his family. She wished she could do that also. Min missed her room and surprisingly her family.

Since Jinki wasn’t there she hid on her room playing with the cute coloring book her sister brought to her someday and Jinki was helping her to color.

 

I swear I won’t let you regret it Let’s go.

Run, run, run with me.

Even in a vacant world, if I’m with you, I feel like I can love.

 

Lucrecia was by the window playing an imaginable piano. On another life, before she started to get insane, she was a pianist. Min wondered why it happened, why a talented person like that old woman would end up like that.

“Do you miss your piano?” Min asked grabbing Jinki favorite blue coloring pencil.

“He made me feel worthwhile…. “Lucrecia said making the words dance on her lips  “like for once it mattered if I was here or not because I actually meant something to someone…. because I meant something to him. I miss that feeling.”

Min turned around looking at Lucrecia.

“Are you talking about the piano?”

“No. I read this somewhere. I’m talking about the man who bought me the piano.”

For a few moments Lucrecia seemed sane and Min slowly rose from her chair.

But as soon as she finished speaking she turned back to the window making her fingers run on the cold windowsill once again.

“That’s really beautiful!” Min said looking at the pencil in her hands. At the same time it was so sad...

Somehow that made her think about Jinki and his comfortable warm smile.

She turned around and wrote the quote on the corner of her coloring book to never forget it.

 

I swear I won’t let you regret it Let’s go.

Run, run, run with me.

Even in a vacant world, if I’m with you, I feel like I can love.

 

That night Min stayed awake staring at the morning sunlight entering her room from the window.

She wondered how Jinki was doing and how long will he be away. She was already missing him dearly.

Someone knocked on the door softly and she stood up rubbing her eyes.

Min opened her door gladly that the nurses now trusted them enough to not lock the doors and Jinki was on the other side wearing his cute glasses that made him look like a nerd, a simple white t-shirt and blue jeans.

“Come with me!” he said simply grabbing her hand and pulling her outside.

“Where?” she was still wearing her pajama and he noticed it stopping immediately.

“Change your clothes and come meet me outside.”

“Right now? What about the nurses?”

“Forget them. I have a plan! Let’s run away together Min. Only for one day! But let’s do it. You need to see how much you are missing it. How beautiful the world can be.”

 

I swear I won’t let you regret it Let’s go.

Run, run, run with me.

Even in a vacant world, if I’m with you, I feel like I can love.

 

She nodded smiling and run back to her room to change quickly, into some shorts and a blue t-shirt. She didn’t give herself time to think and only grabbed a black thin coat before tying her sneakers.

She ran outside ignoring the nurses who gave her funny looks and only stopped when she found him.

He grabbed her hand and took her to the kitchen and trough an only authorized personnel door.

“We will get in trouble…”

She mumbled but he ignored her. He took the keys out from his pocket and opened the door. Min was surprised. How did he even have the keys?! He was crazy!

 

I swear I won’t let you regret it Let’s go.

Run, run, run with me.

Even in a vacant world, if I’m with you, I feel like I can love.

 

They stepped outside and Min blinked her eyes with the sun light. He pulled her with him in the direction of a black car.

“It’s my dad’s! He lent it to me!”

He opened the door for her and she entered the car sitting on the passenger’s seat, still not believing she was out from the hospital after such a long time.

They drove away and Jinki opened the windows making the wind blew their hair.

Min couldn’t stop giggling when he turned the radio on and a funny happy song made him sing along.

It was perfect. She never felt so happy and free.

They end up at a shopping center and she questioned him. Min didn’t bring any money with her.

It didn’t matter, he said, they were there to have fun not spend money.

They walked hand in hand into the shopping and Min felt normal, she even forgot about her scars showing to everyone to see.

Their lunch was at a fast food chain and when Min wondered out loud about the doctors and nurses searching for them on the hospital he brushed the subject away.

“Relax Min! Everything will be alright! Trust me!”

She did trust him. More than she probably should.

 

I will burden myself with the past that won’t seem to disappear.

Run, run, run with me.

I won’t allow you to feel those lonely feelings anymore.

Without fear, run with me.

 

It was on that moment, with a french-fry on her hand, in the middle of a noisy shopping center that Min had an epiphany. She was in love for the first time in her life. She was in love with someone she didn’t knew much about but enough to know she wanted him over everyone else.

She gazed at Jinki and he noticed it, his munching slowing down.

“Is something wrong?” he inquired making her smile.

“No. on the contrary, everything just seems right!”

“Good! We have a movie to watch!”

She complained saying he was spending a lot of money on her but he took her to watch a movie.

It was almost two years since the last time she entered a movie theater and the first time she did it with a man. She couldn’t be more delighted and excited.

It wasn’t surprising how Min didn’t relax the whole movie, sitting on the edge of her chair like a child too excited absorbing everything around her.

When the lights were and the credits started to roll she turned  to him smiling happily trying to choose the words to thank him for once again showing her how it felt to be happy, to feel the blood rush through your veins and think of it as a blessing and not a curse.

She didn’t say anything because Jinki was looking at her in a very intense way, slowly leaning his head on her direction.

It was like the movies and books she used to watch and read. It was the moment were the hero kisses the girl he loves. Her fingers moved on the seat and she found his hand, fingers intertwined just when she closed her eyes and their lips met.

It was a gently sweet kiss that left Min waiting for more. Jinki knew her like no one ever did and he gently caressed her cheek, his eyes reading her mind and he kissed her again and again until they were the only two left inside the room.

 

No one is there anymore. The moon will also watch over us.

You don’t have to rush. I will continue waiting.

 

Won’t U try?

 

 Take my hand. Run, run, run with me.

 

The sun was rising when Min stretched her arms. Jinki was still lying down by her side with his head still on the sand. After the movie they bought something to eat and end up on the beach. After eating and kissing to their hearts content they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Min caressed his hand still on hers and softly asked him to repeat what he said last night under the stars.

“What I said?” he pretended to have forgotten it and she hit his stomach playfully.

He rose up siting by her side and kissed her lips.

“I love you lovely rude Min. I’m so glad you are here.”

“I love you too!” she said feeling butterflies on her stomach, it was only the second time she said something like that to a man. Being the first the night before, while he kissed the scars of her arm. “I’m glad you are here too.”

She took his glasses away and kissed him.

For once Min was happy to be alive and happy he was too.

 

I swear I won’t let you regret it. Let’s go. Run, run, run with me.

 

They drove back to the hospital and Min was starting to feel nervous and frightened with what would happen. She was sure the hospital contacted her and Jinki parents and things would get complicated. But she was ready to explain what happened. They didn’t do anything wrong, they only decided to go for a date and share the special bond they had. Besides they were cured. Life never seemed as sweet and hopeful than now. She was even sure the sun was shining in a different way.

Jinki parked in front of the hospital and once they walked inside Min saw the director, usually a very sweet woman, walk in their direction with a very stern look on her face. Who could blame her? She probably had a lot of scolding to do with that breach on security.

Min flinched when she saw the director slap Jinki.

“Wait a minute…” she said staring incredulous at the chubby woman with brown hair until Jinki spoke.

“Mom….I’m sorry!”

Mom?!

She stared at Jinki and how he tried to reason with the director, who was actually her mom.

“What do you mean mom?” Min asked confused and Jinki looked from his upset mom to Min.

He seemed frightened and Min frowned. Something was very wrong there.

“What is happening? I don’t understand?”

“Jinki is my son. Sometimes he comes to help and…”

“Help?” Min asked involuntary touching the scars on her arm.

Jinki wasn’t saying anything and he seemed guilty so Min had to ask it. “But you are a patient right?”

“No.”

“You didn’t try to kill yourself?” she asked rubbing her arms, her fingertips moving over the scars while she felt her eyes start to get wet.

“No. I only volunteer here!” he tried to grab her arm but she backed away.

“Min….”

“You lied to me….all this time you played with me!”

“No! Never! I never lied I only didn’t say the whole truth because if I did you wouldn’t let me get closer to you!”

Once again Jinki could read her mind; her eyes were filled with sadness, a hint of betrayal and hate. She hated him as much as she loved him before.

“Min don’t do this….”

A nurse came and gently pulled Min to take her back to her room. She turned her back on Jinki who once again tried to apologize and she ignored him; walking lost in thoughts and pain back to her room.

The nurse told her that her sister was going to be notified and soon would visit and Min laid down on her bed, curling into a ball watching how Lucrecia played her imaginary piano not even noticing she was back.

 

Won’t U try?

 

Just holding my hand.

 

Linking hands just like this. Yea, together run, run, run with me.

Now count to: one, two, three. There’s love in the future. I’ll make you see.

Run, run, run with me.

 

Min decided she didn’t want to lose her will to leave. Jinki never showed up on the hospital again and she didn’t ask where he was either. Her family went to visit her several times after that probably thinking she was going to try and kill herself again but she didn’t. Living seemed such a good idea now even though her heart was broken.

She was stronger than that.

Weeks went by and Min tried hard not to think about Jinki. In a way she didn’t blame him. He didn’t have any reason to approach her and he did so she was sure he didn’t lie when he said that he loved her. Yes he was an idiot because he didn’t say the whole truth but she was also one for not asking and making assumptions on her own.

Even though she loved him and even forgave him her pride wouldn’t let her ask for him. Why he wasn’t event trying to talk with her or see her?! Maybe he already forgot about her…

Min broke the tip of the orange pencil she was using to color her book and stared at it, tears coming to her eyes.

Did he forget her so quickly? Did he give up on her just like that?!

“My husband died!”

Lucrecia said making Min jump on her seat. Sometimes she would forget the woman was there.

“Did he?” Min asked turning around and cleaning her teary eyes.

“He bought me this piano!” the woman said pointing at the window.

“It’s a beautiful piano!” Min said trying to smile.

“I didn’t even know how to play but I pretended I did.”

Min chuckled covering and staring into the older woman blue eyes.

“Why? Why didn’t you tell him the truth?”

“Because he wanted to get closer to me and I wanted it too. So I learned how to play after.”

Min nodded and watched Lucrecia who wasn’t speaking anymore and played on her imaginary piano once again.

Min turned back to her coloring book and touched the quote she wrote on the corner of the page weeks ago.

Jinki also lied to get closer to her. Maybe sometimes hiding the truth is the best thing to do.

 

Won’t U try?

 

It’s okay. So, run, run, run with me.

 

Finally she was discharged from the hospital and her sister was waiting for her outside, ready to take her home.

Min hugged her softly and her older sister grabbed her bag from her hand.

“Do you have everything?”

“Yes” Min answered smiling still remembering how Lucrecia hugged her when she said she would come back to visit.

“Good. Someone else is waiting for you.” Min looked at her sister clueless until she saw Jinki on the other side of the road close to the same black car they used to run away. “Talk with him. I’ll wait.”

Min walked in his direction and stood awkwardly in front of him. He stepped forward and opened his arms asking her if he could hug her. Min hugged him, hiding her face on his chest.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth, sorry that I didn’t come to visit….my mom forbade me to enter the hospital again. I screwed up and…”

Min ignored him and kissed his lips cupping his face.

“I missed you!”

Jinki blushed slightly and touched her hands on his face. “I missed you too. I love you!”

“I know! You bought me a piano to get closer to me!”

“What?” he asked confused and Min laughed kissing him again.

“Forget it! I spent too much time with crazy people!”

Her sister cleared from behind them and Min looked back releasing Jinki.

“Can I take her home’?” Jinki asked to her older sister. They seemed like they knew each other so probably the director introduced him to her family when they came to visit her on the hospital after they run away.

“Sure. Keep her safe!”

“I will!” Jinki said circling Min shoulder with an arm. “I’ll take her back before dinner.”

Min sister smiled and nodded entering the car and Min looked back to Jinki.

“Are you my bodyguard now?” she grinned admiring the man in front of her.

“Yes. The kind that helps you run away when things get complicated.” He made a pause watching her, his hand grabbing hers “also I’m your boyfriend!”

Min smiled shyly and Jinki kissed her cheek before pulling her to his car.

Min is free and has a boyfriend now. She never thought she would gain so much when she entered that hospital with bandages around her arms.

 

I will burden myself with the past that won’t seem to disappear.

Run, run, run with me.

Even in a vacant world, if I’m with you, I feel like I can love.

Run with me.