It’s been nearly two months since he last saw Yoochun. Junsu finally understood what really happened during the car accident after managing to pry the answers from his parents. His parents had kept the truth from him not wanting Junsu to blame his best friend since it was “an accident that no one had wished for.” The two boys had made no form of contact with each other since the day Yoochun ran out of the class without a goodbye. 

 

Being in school without him was a struggle for Junsu, he didn’t know who else he could turn to. His classmates avoided him like a plaque as always, with mummers that he was weird, dirty-looking because of his old and worn out uniform and belongings.

 

Yoochun had hurt him, yes. But it hurt even more without him by his side in school and as much as he tried denying it, he missed his best friend. There were days when Junsu just stared at his mobile phone, deliberating if he should call him but then the other’s words would just echo in his mind, leading him to shake the thought off before chucking the phone away in resentment.

 

       “I was the one who shoved you out into the open road.”

 

 

 

Walking past some old shops the two of them used to visit after school, Junsu lingered outside a particular vintage-looking shop. It was the music store that the both of them frequented, considering that they both loved playing music. Letting his eyes drift off to the sumptuous-looking violin in the display window, he remembered distinctly how the other had once dragged him all the way to the shop earlier this semester once, proclaiming that he’ll get that violin for his sweet sixteenth birthday this year.

 

~~~~~

 

       “Come on, you’re as slow as a sloth today!” Yoochun teased playfully with a grin as he watched his friend limp along behind him.

 

       “Give the handicap a break, will you?” Junsu complained, taking his own sweet time strolling behind the other. It wasn’t an ideal day to go window shopping, with the summer weather and the burning sun blazing down on the two uniformed teenagers. Junsu could practically feel his white school shirt sticking onto the skin of his back due to his sweat, the navy coloured school tie loosened around his collar as he found the uniform to be too stifling to be in with the current weather.

 

But the weather definitely didn’t stop Yoochun from pulling him out of his house for some window shopping. 

 

       “That.” Yoochun started as he pointed at a particular violin in the display window. “I’m going to get you that violin for your birthday this year.”

 

Shooting the other a questioning look, Junsu glanced back at the violin, the price tag being written down clearly in bold, red letters. “It costs a bomb, Chun. How in the world are you going to—“

 

He turn to find a pink flyer being shoved right in front of his face by the other quite enthusiastically. “By winning this!” Yoochun beamed as he watched Junsu take the flyer in his hands, reading it quickly.

 

       “There’s going to be a talent competition for the youth next semester held by one of the entertainment companies and it’s during your birthday month Junsu!” Yoochun pointed out as he watched the other read through the flyer. “Let’s enter it together, as a duo. You can play your violin and I can play my viola! If we win, we can—“

 

       “I can’t.” Junsu asserted as he returned the pink flyer back into the other’s hands. 

 

Sighing softly at his answer, Junsu knew better than to argue, knowing that Junsu would still reject his idea either way. Smiling softly, Yoochun nodded understandingly. “Alright. Let’s just go and get those violin strings for you then, they snapped a few days ago, didn’t they?” Reaching out to pull Junsu by the wrist in the shop, the boy paused when the other just stood rooted to the ground.

 

       “I… already have them.” Junsu said as he avoided eye contact with Yoochun. “I got them from this shop yesterday. There’s no need to buy them anymore.”

 

       “You bought them?” Yoochun frowned, “But you didn't even have enough money for lunch yesterday…” His voice trailed off as the truth slowly hit him. Frowning even deeper, the boy questioned in a hushed tone so only Junsu would hear. “You stole again, didn’t you??”

 

~~~~~

 

The door bell chimed loudly in welcome as Junsu pushed open the door. The harmonious sound of one of Mozart’s pieces —Junsu recognised— was playing when he entered the shop. Taking a quick glance at the man by the cashier, he noticed he was dozing off again as always whenever Junsu entered the shop. Scanning the store briefly for anyone else, the teen made his way to the section of violin strings, keeping a constant lookout for the still napping cashier.

 

Looking through the different brands of violin strings available, Junsu decided on the silver packeted one and hesitated before reaching out to it, feeling his own conscious questioning his actions. Feeling the rush of adrenaline rush through him at the thought of being caught, he stopped himself from taking the packet in his hands. He always stole whenever he felt frustrated and angry at things, because his bankrupted parents could never be able to afford some things for him. But what if he got caught this time? What would Yoochun have to say if he saw him stealing again?

 

Then again, who was Yoochun to stop him? Everything he ever did for him was out of a guilty conscious, he never truly cared about what Junsu did. Never cared, never will.

 

Fist clenched and knuckles turning white at the death grasp, the teen took the silver packaging quickly, oblivious to the pair of eyes watching his every move through the shop window as he chucked it into his bag with no signs of hesitations at all this time. 

After doing a quick check that the cashier was still asleep —with his head tilted back onto his chair and mouth wide opened as he snored softly—, Junsu quickly made his way out of the shop quietly, only to stop in front of the view of a pair of legs and shoes outside.

 

Freezing all movements, Junsu felt a sudden rush of fear run through his entire body at the thought of being caught red-handed. Gulping visibly, the teen slowly lifted his eyes to meet the other’s, only to feel his heart drop when he was greeted by a pair of familiar brown ones, ones that he could never forget.

 

 

What was he doing in Korea, right in front of his very own eyes?

 

 

Before Junsu could even allow the other to open his mouth to speak, the raven hair teen quickly shoved him away before running away as fast as he could despite his right leg’s incapability to do so. He was aware of his name being called and the sound of nearing footsteps behind him, but he refused to turn around in acknowledgement of the caller. All he wanted to do was to run away from the person that had hurt him, so he didn’t stop but ran even faster when the other shouted for him to.

 

Not until he heard a thud and somebody shouting for help behind him.

 

Coming to a stop in his footsteps, Junsu slowly turned behind to see a solitude of a teenager boy on the ground unconscious, with a man crouching down beside him. The man had placed two of his fingers on the side of his neck, trying to read his pulse as more people gathered around them to see what was the commotion about.

Without a second thought, Junsu allowed his own body to run back to the unconscious teen, trying to shake him awake once he kneeled down beside him and calling his name again and again.

 

       “Somebody, please,” Junsu pleaded as he looked at the people gathered around them, “call the ambulance! Please!” Turning his attention back to the motionless teenager in his arms, he called out for him continuously.

Yoochun was out cold, his face was as pale as a sheet of paper and his once pink lips now as pale as his skin. Junsu frowned as he took in the picture of his best friend, he looked thinner than he had remembered him to be and his brown hair was cut even shorter now. He looked frail, sick.

 

Junsu thoughts were soon being interrupted with the sound of sirens approaching, medics soon rushing out and placing Yoochun’s feeble body on the stretcher before carrying him back into the ambulance.

 

 

~~~~~

 

 

They said it was brain cancer.

 

Junsu took in the distressing piece of news from Yoochun’s parents when they had arrived at the hospital. Shaken, the boy had to lean onto the wall for support while Yoochun’s mum continued to explain everything to him through her tears.

 

The never-ending headaches he had been experiencing, his pale complexion, the lie about going back to America, his weak and frail-looking body when Junsu held him in his arms. Everything began to click and piece together like a jigsaw puzzle in his head. And the finished puzzle was a picture that was all too disturbing and morbid for Junsu to imagine.

 

~~~~~

 

       “You’re an idiot.” Junsu muttered when he saw the brown hair teen stirring awake from his deep slumber. 

 

Brown eyes gradually blinking open as he did a quick scan around the milk-white hospital ward before meeting the other’s eyes below furrowed eyebrows. Seated on a chair beside his bed was the boy he thought he would never see again. “An idiot, a fool, a total imbecile…” Junsu rattled on softly when the other tried to open his mouth to speak.

 

       “Did you actually think,” The boy gasped, feeling his throat tighten all of a sudden as his eyes started to water uncontrollably. “that I’ll be happy if you just disappeared like that?” Eyes b with heavy tears that were threatening to flow out, Junsu grasped onto his knees tightly as he felt himself trembling, due to the apprehension he’s been feeling ever since he stepped foot into the hospital. All the resentment he had for the other being thrown out of the window as soon as the truth about everything had been revealed to him almost too painfully and regrettably. He still cared.

 

        “Su…” Yoochun barely whispered, his eyes stinging with his own tears at the sight of the other crying. “I-I’ve been…practicing.” He said softly in his raspy voice with a little smile hanging on his pale lips. “The viola… I’ve been practicing for the competition.”

 

With a sob, the other quickly looked away when his tears finally overflowed and trickled down his cheeks. After all this time, the sick boy was still practicing his viola endlessly for the competition. Despite the pain of chemotherapy sessions and it’s side effects, he didn’t forgot his promise.

 

     “I’m going to get you that violin for your birthday this year.”

 

         “But I’m afraid with my current situation,” the brown hair teen continued as he looked down at his hands, blinking a few times with the double-vision he had from the side effects of chemotherapy. “I might be ineligible to even stand on stage.” 

 

Shaking his head in denial, Junsu wiped away his tears messily with a sniffle as he looked at the other with a forced smile. “Y-you’re going to be fine! The doctor said…” The boy hesitated, remembering the distressing news the doctor had brought to them.

 

              “She has the most, a month left running.”

 

         “The doctor said you’ll be well soon!” He lied as he nodded, more tears flowing out of his eyes as he did. “You’ll be well soon, you just need more rest!”

 

Chuckling softly on the bed, Yoochun turned his head to the other side to gaze out of the ward’s window, the tears in his eyes making his vision blurry. “You’ve always been a bad liar.” The boy pointed out with a sigh. “I want you to enter the competition in my place.” Facing the other again with a smile on his lips, he looked at the other sincerely in the eyes.

 

         “I want you… to overcome your fears of facing people, an audience.” 

 

Shaking his head in disapproval, Junsu let out a shaky breath as he squeezed his eyes shut. “I can’t do that without you, we’ll enter the competition together as a duo just like you said before.” Looking up at him pleadingly, he reached out for the other’s hand. “Together. As two good friends. As musicians. For a duet.”

 

Finally letting his tears trickle down his pale cheeks with a sob, the boy nodded happily with a grin. “Together.”

 

 

~~~~

 

 

The past few weeks had been excruciating restless ones for both Junsu and Yoochun as they practiced for the upcoming competition. For Junsu, it was about balancing between schoolwork with violin practices while it was chemotherapy and viola practices for Yoochun. Things didn’t go smoothly at all since the start as Junsu had to watch the other grow so weak from the chemotherapy sessions, that he didn’t even have the strength to hold the viola bow on somedays.

 

It left Junsu frustrated not being able to help the other, and he often had to fight the urge of going to a shop to shoplift just so he could feel a thrilling rush of adrenaline to replace those feelings. But he managed to fight the urge to do so whenever he thought of the other, focusing his mind on playing music. 

 

The mellifluous sound of the violin never failed to calm him down as he allowed himself to flow with the music, eyes closed as he pressed his fingers down on the strings chords he had memorised by heart while his body swayed gently with the rhythm. It was a sight that brought smiles to Yoochun’s face. To see the other so immersed and confident in something he was gifted in, it was a beautiful image of Junsu. Despite the scar that distracted other people from looking at him in the eyes, he looked beautiful to Yoochun’s eyes whenever he played the violin with his heart.

 

As the days got nearer to the competition date, so did Yoochun’s expiration date on earth. From the double-vision to the vomiting, even standing up had been a struggle. But he kept on smiling all the way, being as optimistic as ever like how he always was. 

 

He looked the most palest on the day of the competition. Junsu had been extremely concerned about it, even suggesting that they opt-out from the competition but Yoochun would hear nothing of it. Wearing the matching black and white costume that Yoochun’s mother had prepared for them, they exchanged looks that were worth a thousand words when their names were called for their turn to perform.

 

A chair had been offered to Yoochun to sit on while he played but he had kindly turn it down, wanting to stand beside the other as they performed. Setting their instruments in position under their chins, they started the duet that they had composed together in those past few weeks. Their solitudes swaying in sync together with the harmonious sound of their stringed instruments. The music flowed around the room, creating a melodious ambience for the three judges seated on the long table just in front of them as they exchanged approving glances with one another. 

 

Junsu had been too immersed in his music to notice the attention he was getting from the judges - something he would have been afraid of in the past. But he was also too immersed to notice the paling other beside him whom was beginning to break out in cold sweat as he continued to play on. Forcing his eyes shut, Yoochun started to struggle to keep up with the music’s pace, causing him to play out of beat. Noticing the mistake immediately, Junsu glanced at him worriedly to see him struggling immensely. Shooting another quick glance at the judges, he saw that the once smiling judges were now frowning and exchanging glances of uncertainty.