Donghae doesn’t seem to have any intention to bring up the encounter with the guy he refers to as ‘Jay.’ I know it’s not my place to be sticking my nose into his private sphere, but there’s this feeling of disappointment deep inside me that I can’t really explain in proper words. It might be because of his constant attempt to avoid getting questioned about his personal life, which I understand, but still, haven’t we gotten quite close by now?

The fact that he keeps trying to build a wall between us frustrates me sometimes, because... Well, I don’t even know why I’m acting like this. I mean, it’s not like I’m in love with him or anything.

I gasp, taken aback by my own thought. Hold it right there, Hyukjae. You’re seriously taking this too far. That can’t be it. Right?

I snap my head up when I hear soft knocks on my door, and start contemplating on what I should say when I face Donghae. It’d be better to just pretend like nothing happened, but a part of me is seriously dying to bombard him with questions. Like who that Jay is, what they were doing, and why he is so intent on hiding things from me.

Wait, this does make me sound like an anxious girlfriend though. Good lord, someone needs to slap me in the face.

“I bought us dinner,” Donghae says as soon as I open the door. “You’re fine with Japanese?”

“Uh, sure, thanks. I’m okay with anything.”

I can feel the awkwardness building between us as I trail behind him to the dining table. Or maybe it’s just me. Donghae is never the type to talk much to begin with. Why am I stressing over this? I need to stop overthinking things and stressing myself out over nothing.

“Why’d you open the door?” Donghae suddenly asks as I’m about to reach for another sushi.

“What?”

“I told you not to open the door unless it’s me,” his tone is firm, and I can tell he’s a little annoyed.

“I thought it was you.”

“I had the key with me, Hyukjae. Use your head next time.”

I frown. “What’s that supposed to mean? Are you telling it was my fault?”

“I’m telling you to be more careful.”

“So you’re really not telling me anything about what happened?”

“It has nothing to do with you. Now eat up, the food’s getting cold.”

I let out a sigh, finding it hard to ignore the stabbing pain I’m feeling in my chest at the moment. I’m starting to get what this pain actually means, but I know better than to let myself be taken over again. I’ve learned my lesson with Jackson before. I haven’t even realized when things have reached this point, but it’s seriously making me uneasy. I shouldn’t be having these feelings. It’s never going to make me happy.

“I get it, you won’t tell me anything,” I gather my plate and get up. “It’s none of my business. I should just stay out of your life and keep my mouth shut.”

“Hyukjae-“

“Thanks for the food, Donghae.”

I stomp into the kitchen and wash my dishes in a hurry, before sprinting towards my room, refusing to look at Donghae. I hear his footsteps behind me, so I fasten my pace, but when I’m about to push the door close, he’s quick to stop it with his hand.

“Look,” he rubs his nape a few times, looking like he’s struggling to put his thoughts into proper words. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Like...what?”

“I live in a different world, Hyukjae.”

“And?”

“You know how this kind of world works? It’s nothing good. I won’t let you near it.”

I bite my lower lip and look down at my feet, trying hard not to show my disappointment. “I know that.”

“You don’t get it, do you,” Donghae sighs.

“What?”

“You can be so dense sometimes, you know?” he ruffles my hair softly, as a thin smile makes its way to his lips. “Get some rest, Hyukjae.”

As he closes the door and disappears from my sight, I stand there like a statue, his words keep replaying inside my head like a mantra. What? What did he mean by that? I don’t get it. I don’t understand what those words mean. But the part of my hair that he touched feels so warm, and it’s making me feel fuzzy. He’s never done that before. And he shouldn’t have, because I’m a simple guy and I might misunderstand things, and it won’t turn out good for my heart.

I drag my feet to the bed and throw myself onto the soft mattress, my mind filled with the little conversation we had just a moment ago. Now that I think about it, Donghae never really gets mad at me, does he? I mean, he did seem a little annoyed before, but he’s never shown me the image he earned along with his reputation. Is he being considerate, or is he...

Okay, stop this now. I need to stop being delusional. Let’s just get a proper sleep so that I can wake up early tomorrow and get my work done before Monday arrives. I need to prepare my mental state as well in case I’d bump into Jackson. Then maybe I’ll try to talk more with Donghae about this.

Maybe.

* * * * *

I wake up earlier than Donghae, so I take my time to make some breakfast. He seems to have bought some bread and basic food supply that I’m sure won’t satisfy my monstrous hunger, but it’ll do for now. He seems a little surprised to see me getting busy in the kitchen when he steps out of his room, but somehow there’s this strange content look on his face as he sits down at the dining table, watching me moving back and forth.

“It’s not much, but enjoy your breakfast,” I pour a steaming hot white coffee into his cup before I take a seat across him.

“This is kind of nice,” he smirks, as he grabs a fork and start gulfing down the scrambled egg.

“What is?”

“It’s like I have a wife in this house,” he casually says, that I almost choke on my food. “I could wake up to this every morning.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I’m being serious though.”

I pause, surprised at his sudden bold statement that I never thought I’d hear coming out of his mouth. Could this be another of his lame jokes? "I really don’t get you.”

“I told you, you’re too dense.”

“I’m kind of offended, you know,” I shoot him a glare, to which he responds with a soft chuckle.

“This is good, by the way. You really