“You’re late,” was the first thing Kyuhyun heard when he stepped into the room.

“I was lost,” Kyuhyun replied, closing the door behind him. There were two men in the room — the one who had spoken stared at him with a serious, disapproving expression, while the other — how the hell could anyone be that skinny? — let out an amused snort.

“Sure you didn’t trip over your own feet?” Skinny snickered.

Kyuhyun glared.

“Hey, hey, I’m just joking!” Skinny laughed, holding his hands in front of him. “We’re all one big IT family here, right?”

“Hyukjae, there’s three of us,” not-Skinny — or not-Hyukjae, Kyuhyun supposed — replied. “Two, before he showed up.” He glanced at Kyuhyun, his eyebrows raising. The disapproving look had faded somewhat, Kyuhyun was pleased to note. “What’s your name again?”

“Kyuhyun.”

“Well, I’m Hyukjae,” Hyukjae interrupted, beaming widely. “And that’s Hangeng. We’re - well, no longer severely understaffed, as it appears.”

“Oh, there are other new people?” Kyuhyun asked.

“No.” Hyukjae shrugged. “But, as the newbie, you’ll obviously be doing all your Sunbae’s work.” Hyukjae gave him another one of those -eating grins.

Kyuhyun smiled pleasantly. “ off.”

“…Dammit,” Hyukjae muttered, his smile fading. “Why couldn’t we get the doe-eyed kid with the bowl cut instead?”

The door opened.

“Oh hey,” Hyukjae greeted. Kyuhyun turned, glancing at the person who had walked in — the extremely tall, extremely tanned, extremely doe-eyed ‘someone’ who had walked in.

“Hey,” Doe-eyes said, smiling (and extremely experienced in smiling, Kyuhyun noted dazedly). “Could you take a look at my laptop? It won’t start.”

“Yes!” Kyuhyun said loudly. “I can do that!” He grabbed the laptop from the hands of a startled Doe-eyes, and nearly dropped it. He glanced sideways, and caught sight of Hangeng gaping at him, and Hyukjae wincing.

“I wouldn’t let him touch that if I were you,” Hyukjae told Doe-eyes. “We all saw how he was this morning.”

Doe-eyes’ lips twitched (‘oh my god, he’s even mastered the lip twitching’). “Oh yeah — that was hilarious as . I thought Leeteuk was going to bludgeon you with that microphone.”

Hyukjae snorted “He probably would have if he hadn’t accidentally bludgeoned Key first.” He grinned. “I think I saw him going into the Nurse’s office.”

“Oh dear lord,” Hangeng murmured, paling. “It’s going to be the next Korean War.”

“Huh?” Kyuhyun stared blankly; god, it to be the new guy.

“When you put Key and Heechul — the school nurse — in the same room, no good can come out of it,” Hangeng told him, and shuddered lightly. “The last time — well, I won’t go into the details, but it ended with the roof of Leeteuk’s car caving in.”

Kyuhyun gaped.

Hyukjae let out a loud laugh, clapping his hands together enthusiastically. “Yeah! And Hangeng is going to be marrying Heechul someday, so this is what he has to look forward to.”

“ off,” Hangeng hissed. Kyuhyun blinked in surprise; he hadn’t expected the man to be the swearing-type. “That will never happen.”

Eunhyuk smirked. “Not if Heechul has his way.”

Kyuhyun chose to remain silent, spending part of his time formulating a horrifying image of this mysterious ‘Heechul’, and the rest shooting Doe-eyes appreciative side-ways glances.

“Uh — the laptop,” Doe-eyes said, nudging it, an amused smile on his face.

“Oh yeah!” Kyuhyun almost choked out. “Laptop! Which I will be looking over — ” He turned around and nearly fell flat on his face. Hangeng reached out, prying the laptop out of his firm grip.

“I’ll take care of this,” he said, staring at Kyuhyun with something akin to sympathy. At that exact moment (and Kyuhyun stood by the fact that he was going to say something really smart and impressive, and would have followed through with this if he hadn’t been interrupted), the door opened and a trio of students walked in.

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” Hangeng asked.

“I want you to take a look at my phone,” the boy in the centre of the group said, ing the device forward.

Hangeng sighed. “Jongin, for the last time, school related items only. We do not do phone repairs.”

“It’s Kai!” the boy snapped. “Kai — not Jongin, Kai.”

Hangeng rolled his eyes. “Mm-hmm.”

“IT guys ,” one of Kai’s friends muttered, scowling.

“That’s lovely Baekhyun,” Hangeng told him, his tone dry. “Now get out.”

Kai lifted his middle finger, his expression mirroring his friends. Kyuhyun snorted, because come on — were these guys serious?

The boy whirled around, glaring at him. He opened his mouth — to spew out a wave of profanity, Kyuhyun was sure, and when he did, would he lose his job if he punched the kid? — when he caught sight of Changmin. He froze, and then his expression melted.

“Mr. Jung!” he exclaimed, beaming widely. “How are you? You look great today!”

Another one of Kai’s friends — the one that wasn’t Baekhyun — nodded. “You’re legs look longer.”

“Shut up Chanyeol,” Kai snapped.

Doe-eyes/Mr. Jung (no, Kyuhyun would stick to Doe-eyes — Mr. Jung just made him feel like a student with a crush on his teacher) gave them an amused smile. “Hi Jongin, Baekhyun, Chanyeol.”

Kai smiled blindingly, and, without taking his eyes of Doe-eyes, reached back to shove the other two out of the way.

“I thought it was Kai?” Hyukjae muttered.

“You’re going to be in class this afternoon, right, Mr. Jung?” Kai demanded eagerly. “Maths is my favourite class of the day!”

“I thought you hated it?” Baekhyun interjected.

Kai turned back, his eyes narrowed. “No, that was last year, you moron,” he hissed. “Now we have Mr. Jung as a teacher — ” He paused to shoot the amused Doe-Eyes an adoring smile, “ — so it’s the best ing this place has to offer.”

With that, he whirled around dramatically, and pranced (because, seriously, there could be no other way to describe it) out of the room. Baekhyun and Chanyeol followed, slightly more subdued.

“… that kid is annoying,” Hyukjae muttered.

…

“No, no, no, no! What the are you doing here?!”

Yunho winced at the volume. “This is my office,” he said, and considered shooting the furious Jaejoong a placating smile. He then realised that this would probably cost him his manhood, and that would ruin the future reunion he hoped he and Jaejoong would soon have. So no — the smile could wait for when Jae wasn’t moments away from killing him.

“No it ing isn’t!” Jaejoong snarled. “This is my office.”

Yunho stared. This was a gift that was for sure, but who it was from — God or the Devil — would depend on whether Jaejoong was planning on throwing that paperweight at his head.

“Put down the paperweight,” Yunho said, lifting his hands in what he hoped was a calming gesture. “I think we’re sharing an office this year.”

“…No,” Jaejoong choked, his eyes widening. His hand tightened around the paperweight. “NO WE ING AREN’T!”

He let go of the paperweight and it fell to the ground — Yunho inwardly let out a sigh of relief. Jaejoong whirled around, his hands fumbling with the door handle.

“Jae, where are you going?” Yunho called after him.

“To see Leeteuk!” Jaejoong snapped, throwing the door open. A crowd of wide-eyed students greeted them on the other side. “There is no way in Hell that I am sharing with you, you cheating son of a !”

“Jae, Leeteuk can’t change it now,” Yunho sighed. He could feel his cheeks burning at the open-mouthed stares he was receiving. Hell, someone was filming. “You’re going to have to put up with it — ”

“Oh, you!” Jaejoong spat, shooting him a venomous glare. “ you! I am SO not dealing with this!”

“There are students outside,” Yunho pointed out weakly.

Jaejoong turned around, the same murderous expression on his face. The crowd took a step back, horrified at what they saw. Jaejoong reached out, slamming the door shut, and then focused his attention back on his target — Yunho.

“Get the out,” he growled. “You can work outside.”

“Oh come on Jae!” Yunho protested. “That’s unreasonable.”

“No it isn’t!” Jaejoong yelled. If this was a comic strip, there would be steam pouring out of his ears. “What’s unreasonable is you shoving your down some woman’s — ”

“Jaejoong!” Yunho yelled, his cheeks flaming. “These rooms aren’t soundproof!”

“I am not ing dealing with this,” Jaejoong spat. “I’m going to speak to Leeteuk, he is going to sort this out — ”

…

“ — well YOU THEN! you and the ing whose fat arse is taking up my potential office!”

“Jaejoong, you can’t talk to me that way,” Leeteuk sighed.

“He’s sorry,” Yunho interjected awkwardly.

“ you ,” Jaejoong growled. “I am not sorry.”

“He’s emotional,” Yunho told Leeteuk. “It’s my fault.”

Leeteuk raised one eyebrow. “I know.” He then turned to Jaejoong, trying to shoot the other male a placating smile — when Jaejoong responded with a look straight out of a horror movie, Yunho was glad he hadn’t done the same thing earlier.

“Jaejoong, I’m sorry,” Leeteuk started, trying to hide his discomfort, “but there is nothing I can do  — I can’t really move anyone around at this point. If you wait until next semester…um, could you stop staring at me like that?”

Jaejoong then proceeded to storm dramatically out of the room.

“I blame you,” Leeteuk hissed, glaring at Yunho.

…

Kyuhyun bumped into the famous ‘Heechul’ after about an hour of walking around aimlessly, hoping to bump into Doe-Eyes (the work load had been surprisingly low that day).

“What the hell are you doing?” Kyuhyun jumped, whirling around. A man stood watching him, an amused expression on his face. “You’ve walked past here at least three times.” He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “You haven’t wet your pants, have you?”

Kyuhyun gaped. “What?!”

The man shrugged. “I don’t know, you seem like you have something to hide - if I wet my pants, I wouldn’t want anyone knowing.

“No, I didn’t wet my pants,” Kyuhyun said, his cheeks flaming. “I’m sorry, who are you?”

“Kim Heechul.”

…Well, that explained it.

“Excuse me? What is that look?” Heechul demanded, placing his hands on his hips.

“Nothing,” Kyuhyun said hurriedly, remembering what Hyukjae and Hangeng had said about the car incident. “Some guys mentioned you — Hangeng and Hyukjae.”

Heechul’s expression immediately changed to one of sheer adoration. “Hannie mentioned me?!” he practically cooed. “Oh, he’s so sweet. And you, pants-wetter — I suppose you’re his new best friend, huh?”

“I only just met him,” Kyuhyun said, still trying to process the new nickname.

“I suppose you’ll be the Best Man at our wedding then,” Heechul murmured, staring thoughtfully at Kyuhyun. “Yes — much better than that anchovie. You might actually fit into the suit I have planned.”

“Oh,” Kyuhyun said, because really, what else could be said?

“So what do you want?”

Kyuhyun shrugged. “I’m looking for someone.”

Silence.

“…A teacher. Doe — I mean, Mr. Jung.” He flushed.

Heechul’s lips curved into a smirk. “Aw, how cute,” he murmured (Kyuhyun swore there was a mocking hint to his tone). “You have a crush.”

“Wha - no! I don’t!”

“Yes you do — look at you, you’re blushing like a little girl.” The smirk widened. “Seeing as you're going to be an important component of my wedding, I’m going to break the news to you gently — back off, he’s married.”

“WHAT?!”

“I have sensitive ears,” Heechul told him, frowning.

Kyuhyun stared at Heechul, his eyes wide, feeling dread forming in the pit of his stomach. Goddammit, he should have known — the beautiful ones were always taken.

“You’re not going to cry are you?”

“No!” Kyuhyun snapped.

“Right — because there are plenty of attractive people in this school,” Heechul said, shooting Kyuhyun what he thought was supposed to be a supportive look, but what was closer to amusement. “Just don’t go for any students, because that wouldn’t end well. If you’re in prison on my wedding day, I will -slap you.”

…

When Kyuhyun had walked off (seemingly in a daze, Heechul noted — the poor er), Heechul turned around and walked back into the Nurse’s office (or the Headquarters of All Things Fabulous, as he liked to call it).

Ryeowook, his fellow nurse, and lackey, glanced up. “Who was that?” he questioned.

“Hannie’s best man,” Heechul replied, without missing a beat.

“Oh.” Ryeowook glanced back down at the paperwork he’d been filling out.

“I’ve told you many times Ryeowook,” Heechul said, smiling, “you will, of course, be the maid of honour.”

“Yes,” Ryeowook said, without looking up. “Thank you, Hyung.”

“…Unless of course I can convince Changmin,” Heechul murmured thoughtfully. “Because, as much as I love you, my glorious lackey, the colour of my brides maid dress would suit him much better.”

That elicited a response from Ryeowook. His ahead snapped up, his eyes wide. “Dress?!”

Heechul smiled.

Ryeowook swallowed.

Heechul walked forward, and threw himself down on the chair next to Ryeowook. “The poor kid has a crush on Jaejoong,” Heechul told him. He reached out to grab the form Ryeowook had been filling out, and absentmindedly began folding it.

“What are you doing?” Ryeowook yelped.

“Making a paper crane,” Heechul replied. Ryeowook gaped at him.

“I told him not to go there,” Heechul continued, ignoring Ryeowook’s exclamation of, “that’s paperwork!” “Jaejoong might be ready to saw of Yunho’s balls right now, but those two will find someway to fix things between them. They better — they were ing hot together. Not as great as Hannie and me, but still pretty damn y…”

“All I heard him ask was where ‘Mr. Jung’ was,” Ryeowook interjected (he was still staring mournfully at at the paper). “There are three Mr. Jung’s at this school.”

“Oh please, it’s Jaejoong,” Heechul snorted. “It’s always Jaejoong. Except with that creepy Kai kid - then it’s Changmin.” He pouted, slouching back in his chair. “I don’t know why, I am so much prettier. Oh well…all I need is my Hannie…and Key’s death, of course, but I’ll settle for my upcoming wedding…”