Kim Joonmyeon. You’ve already get my heart and you also the reason behind why I closed the door of my heart without your knowledge. I don’t know what are so special about you till I couldn’t to turn my eyes to other guys. Even you didn’t know about my presence, but I still write your name in my heart because you, you are the one I love.

I’ve knew him since we’re in primary school. I found him so attractive and a kind boy. The way he smile and how polite him to people that make my eyes leaning on him. I kept my eyes on him. Everywhere he go, I know. What he do, I know too. But.. He never knew about me. From that time, I started liking him. But it was faded away when I heard he moved away to another states. I forgot about him for a while until I hit my puberty and studied at Seoul high school. But the flower of my heart bloom when I saw him. At the same school. I studied at the same school with him. Everyday I smile and every step I walked, he always appears in front of me. He is vice president of school and many female students admired him as he is friendly person. I join whatever club he joined as long as I can see him closer. Crazy am I right? When I have any courage, I decided to send a letter to him. I passed it to my friend and she gave it to him. I hide behind a wall and he took my letter, kept inside his pocket. I wrote “Can I be your friend?” I waited for him excitedly. The next day, I got a letter which is from him. My smile became wider as he replied “sure. Why not?” but it faded way when I noticed a sentence “ But I not accept any love relationship” I didn’t mean to be his girlfriend, I just want to be his friend.

When I quietly look at you

I remember all those countless days

The mornings and nights that were all about you

Now it’s become a habit

I’m getting colored with you

Time flies too fast and I still not introduce myself. He still curious who send him that letter. But I don’t know why I keep hiding myself but I know, many flowers blooming in my heart every time I see him. I stalked him and how he smile genuinely to teachers. I jealous when he talked to girls and I asked myself ‘why I cannot be there and talk to him, facing him’

Your best friends told you “you have to take a move.”

“He will fallen in love with other girl if you late. I saw a junior girl tried to be close with him”

“Don’t miss the chance. Grab it”

You sighed as you couldn’t do that. Why it were so hard to do it? Why? You ruffled your hair in frustration as you sighed. You often got eye-contact with him but you would look away as you felt a tinted of pink on your cheeks because of blushing. His eyes. Yes his eyes caught my attention. The dark brown eyes and how he raised his eyebrows. He smiled to you making you hardly blushing. Your best friend nudged you, “eyeee you’re blushing. Look your face is red!” she yelled. I shook my head and hide my face in my palm. Everyone says that you only fall in love once, but I think that’s not true. Every time I hear your voice and smile, I fall in love all over again.

That one day..when you know the truth and that time when your smile vanished..

Your teacher asked you to send a report file to the office. You obeyed and walked passed a dance room. You stopped your track as you heard a familiar voice,

“Suho hyung, do you have a crush?”

“n-ne” you widened your eyes. You peak a little bit to leaned over to hear their conversation.

“who is the lucky girl? Is she one of our classmates?” my heart beat fast as I wa