EMERGENCY EXIT

If there's one thing that I'm good at, it's spending a ridiculous amount of time on the internet without taking a break. 

And if there's a thing that I'm at least getting better at, it's got to be not crying in public. 

Because when I saw Public Enemy Number One kiss Kyungsoo, my heart stopped and my bladder fell out of my , but I was at least able to keep any tears from spilling over out of my eyes since that was definitely what I wanted to do. 

But instead of making a scene, which is what Old Avery would have done by promptly bursting into tears and melting into a puddle on the floor, I was able to keep myself together long enough to whip myself 180 degrees and march my way back behind the heavy black door that separated the dance floor from the bathroom and the emergency exit. 

Even though only about three seconds had passed, I wasn't sure how much longer I was going to be able to keep my tears inside. 

However, I was not about to go back into that bathroom because there was a large chance that the girl and the guy were still in there and there was an even larger chance that they had moved past oral and were now doing God knows what in there. Plus I really didn't want to ruin their session with my tears because I had a feeling that this was going to turn into a full-out wailing session and I did not need any witnesses for that. 

Alright, Avery, then think of somewhere else to go and bawl your eyes out. 

Okay, I could do that. I could either stay where I was, go back outside to the dance floor and dance my troubles away (haha), go in the bathroom and voluntarily subject myself to listening to two people having for the SECOND time that night, or I could risk it all by walking out of the emergency exit. 

I could feel the moisture welling up in my eyes and I swear that if I tilted my head forward that large tears would fall over the brim. 

I was going to have to be brave and go for the emergency exit. Really, it was the only way that my meltdown wouldn't be seen in public, and that was definitely something that I was trying to avoid. Besides, it's not like you can go to jail for opening an emergency exit. 

Or maybe you can. But for that moment, I was going to pretend like it wasn't a crime because I was about to lose my mind. 

So I just went for it and barged my way out of the emergency exit, my hands pressed over my ears just in case the alarms really did go off because I didn't want for my eardrums to explode because that would be the icing on the cake for this already terrible night. 

Thankfully, God felt a little bit bad for me because the alarms didn't actually go off. But I still started crying profusely, so I guess that it was a fair trade-off. 

I mean, it was a legitimate ugly cry. It was so powerful that I was hunched over and I'm pretty sure that I was drooling and I was almost one-hundred percent sure that both my mascara and my eyeliner were running and that only made me cry even harder because Chorong had done my makeup for me and putting makeup on me is a terrible hassle because I'm really squirmy and every time someone comes near my eyes, my natural instinct is to swat them away, and I don't know, I just had a lot of feelings at the moment. 

And I wasn't even sure why I was crying because Kyungsoo had every right to kiss this girl and the girl had every right to kiss him. She had more of a right to kiss him than I had to kiss him the first time. I mean, I literally chose the worst time to get a crush on him because he was engaged to one of my best friends, but still.

So, really, this was all just like karma, but in a lot nicer way because it wasn't like I was engaged and it wasn't like Public Enemy Number One was going to destroy my marriage. I should be grateful that it was only happening like this. 

Even though it still felt like Cupid had thrown a javelin at me and that it had stabbed me right through the heart. 

But it still could have been worse!

"Avery?" 

And, look, it was already getting there! 

I guess I can't really say that I was surprised that it was Jongin that had run after me, but I'm still going to say that I was surprised that it was Jongin that had run after me. I mean, I'm kind of a jerk to him and it's not even like we really consider each other to be friends, so it wasn't like he had a reason. Not to mention that the fire alarm didn't even go off, so I wasn't supposed to gather any unwarranted attention. 

But, really, though, I didn't want Jongin there because I was ugly-crying so hard that he would get one look at me and disappear for the rest of his life. Which would not have been that terrible of a thing, but it's always a blow to your ego when you permanently scar someone. 

"Hey, Avery," Jongin began slowly, obviously not sure of where he was supposed to take it from there. He tip-toed his way over to me and then recoiled in shock. "Oh my god, you look awful!" 

I wanted to reach out and strangle him, but his comment was so rude that it actually got me to stop sobbing and stare at him in disbelief. 

"Really, Jongin?" I demanded, glaring at him through my tears. 

"Um ... no?" He hesitated, only now sensing how badly I wanted to murder him. "I mean, it's just that your makeup looks ... a lot ... different? Yeah, it looks different. It looks worse. And I'm totally saying this as a ... friend. You might want to fix that before you go back inside." Oh, Jongin, you were so close to digging your way out of that hole and you just fell right back in. 

"I'm not going back in there," I sniffled, wiping at the bottom of my eyes with the backs of my hands. There really wasn't a reason for me to go back inside since I could easily walk back to the front from here. "I just need for you to go and tell Chorong that the Threat Level is on red and that I will be waiting for her outside in front of the main entrance." 

"I'm not doing that," Jongin shook his head. "I mean, I will do that, but you can't just hide out here! You didn't do anything wrong!" 

Thanks, Jongin, for confirming what I already knew. 

"But I did just dramatically run out of there and Minah, Kyungsoo and PENO all saw and, plus, my makeup is all over my face and I know for a fact that at least one of them will call me out on that one, similarly how to you just did a few moments ago!" I snapped. 

Jongin brushed my comment off easily. "Yeah, that was a bit out-of-line of me, but I just wanted to make sure that you had a head's up." I hope he knew that he wasn't helping. The only way that was going to be able would be if he did what I said. Or if he had a time machine and was able to go back and make sure that PENO kissing Kyungsoo never happened, but I've also read enough books to know that time travel is never a good idea. So, yeah, sorry, Jongin, but you were basically useless. "But you should hold your head up high and make sure that everyone in there knows that they didn't get the best of you." 

My eyes started to water again. Oh my god, I'm so pathetic. "But they did get the best of me." 

Jongin narrowed his eyes at me like I was the one that was being the massive inconvenience instead of the girl who's name I didn't even know and yet she still seemed to be accomplishing more than I did. "Will you try to work with me here? I'm trying to hype you up so that you don't mess your face up even more than you already have." 

See what I mean about how he starts off so strong only for it to go south so quickly? Because that's exactly what I mean. 

"So stop acting like you're such a victim. No one did anything to you," Jongin mumbled, running one of his hands through his hair. 

Also, I was pretty sure that someone had done something to me, and I