Winter 2013.

Chansung was younger then, with a lighter heart and of freer spirit.

 Nichkhun just another one of MinJun’s friends.

 He’s not sure what caught his attention first or why. At first sight Nichkhun was quiet, polite. He kept to himself and only spoke to those he was familiar with. Chansung not been one of them. Yet there was something in his eyes, in the way he smiled, the way he carried himself. Chansung was intrigued. He also found he was a lot more courageous after a few of MinJun’s special eggnogs, and that an awkward introduction could lead to one of the best things that could have happen to him that night.

Nichkhun, Chansung found out, was a lot easier to talk to then the majority of MinJun’s friends. He laughed a lot, at everything and anything, and Chansung found he enjoyed the sound a little more than he should. And in more than one occasion he found himself acting a fool just to see those chocolate eyes shine with humor.

It had been a while. Months of solitude and nothing but the occasional flirting in a bar here and there. But he had yet to find someone that caught his eye the way Nichkhun did. Nichkhun was gentle, easy to talk to, easy on the eyes, and very willing.

 Chansung found himself wondering if he was reading the signs wrong. If the whole thing was nothing but his imagination playing some sort of sick joke.

The way Nichkhun would lean in close, unnecessarily close, so that Chansung could hear him over the loud music playing. And perhaps it was just coincidence the way Nichkhun’s eyes would find him from across the room. The way he would smile, a little shy, a little mischievous, casting down his eyes whenever Chansung would sent a questioning glance in response.

“You should talk to him.” MinJun tells him, pouring eggnog into two separate glasses, and adding a little something extra to them both before giving one to Chansung and sipping on the other.

“To whom?”

“The man you have been ogling ever since you got here.” He responds, adding a little extra liquor to his eggnog and taking another sip. “Or has it been so long you’ve gotten rusty? Want a little help?”

Chansung chuckles, not falling for the taunt and following MinJun’s lead instead, adding more to his drink as well. He could use the little extra boost of liquid courage.

 “I just met him…”

“Just met whom?” Wooyoung walks into the kitchen, a little wobbly, eyes glaze over. He was drunk. Or getting there, and for a second Chansung’s presence was forgotten. MinJun looking at the younger with concern as Wooyoung served himself another drink.

“I tell you what.” Chansung pats MinJun on the shoulder, grabbing his drink and a bag of chips from the counter. “I’ll do something about your friend over there… If you stop been such an idiot and do something about this.”

Chansung didn’t have to be specific, nor did he wanted to stick around for what could possible may be happening next. Instead his eyes settle on the young man sitting on the opposite side of the room. Light brown hair, and fair skin, long limbs and a sweet sweet smile that he directed towards Chansung. MinJun was right. It had been far, far too long and a little fun never hurt anybody.

It was Nichkhun that had taken the initiative at the end. Grabbing Chansung by the hand and dragging him away from the crowd, heart thumping, palms sweaty and anticipation forming a knot in the pit of his stomach. They find an isolated corner and Chansung is push against the wall. Greedy hands grip the fabric of his shirt, and Nichkhun leans closer, taking his time as he studies every inch of Chansung’s face. Things were moving fast. Too damn fast but Chansung couldn’t find it in him to complain. He was desperate and Nichkhun complaisant, his lips brushing skin, tongue teasing heated flesh and Chansung can’t take it anymore. He takes control and does it fast and Nichkhun is more than willing to comply.

The next morning they are woken by an off key version of Let it Snow and Taecyeon dressed as a lousy Santa clause. Chansung doesn’t mind his current stay of half dressed, nor the fact that Nichkhun is drape over him, still asleep, and breathing softly against Chansung’s chest.  

Nichkhun has to leave earlier than anticipated, but not before slipping his number to a disappointed Chansung. Things had not gone as far as they would had wanted the previous night. A house full of people not giving enough privacy, but Chansung figure he could at least buy him a drink and dinner before going any further.

They promised to stay in touch.

Chansung finds himself looking forward to it a lot more then he should.

Spring 2014.

Chansung is used to disappointment by now, but he knows better than to let it get to him.

A few feet away MinJun and Wooyoung laugh at a joke Chansung didn’t hear. The two sit close to each other, MinJun’s hand oh so subtly landing on Wooyoung’s and the blush in Wooyoung’s cheek can be seen from miles away. Chansung turns his attention elsewhere, giving the two some privacy. He’s happy for them, but at the same time he couldn’t help but feel somewhat bitter.

“Is he coming?” Junho asks, taking a sit next to Chansung on the cool sand. Spring had finally settled and a trip to the beach had seem like a good idea at the time. The water was still way too cold to even go near it, but Chansung figure that chances like this one didn’t come often. He was busy with work. All the time. And a weekend off with friends had seem like the perfect way to unwind.

Not to mention the chances of a certain someone been in town and joining them.

“I don’t know.” Chansung looks at his phone for the last time before putting it away. He was disappointed and trying to hide that from his closest friend was something he knew he couldn’t do. Junho knew him well. Too well. And it was to him that Chansung always turned when there was something he need it to get off his chest.

He and Nichkhun had kept in touch. A text message here and there. A call in the middle of the night. Nichkhun’s job took him places where Chansung couldn’t follow. Their schedules always hectic. Always conflicting. Junho didn’t understand why Chansung still bother. Chansung would just tell him he would get it if he met Nichkhun.

“When did you last saw him?”

“New year’s…” Junho sighs, shaking his head. He was about to say something when the phone Chansung had put away vibrates. Chansung’s face lights up, and Junho sighs again, watching as his friend rushes to pick up the call.

It doesn’t last long. A few minutes, but the look of disappointment in Chansung’s face tells Junho everything he need it to know.

“There would be other chances Chansung.” He says, a hand on Chansung’s shoulder. He knew Junho was just trying to be supportive. That he was trying hard to bite his tongue and hold on to the I-told-you-so he was probably eager to say.  

Chansung doesn’t say anything. Swallowing the bitter taste of disappointment and offering Junho the most sincere smile he can manage.

“Sure… Another time.”

Summer 2014.

There are times when Chansung resents his job.

Been a professional photographer means that your schedule is not yours to command but your client’s, and the event he’s currently covering couldn’t had landed at a worse time.

Sure he could had turn down the job, but the opportunity was too good to pass on, not to mention he would make twice as much on this job as he would in one of his usual gigs. He only hoped that Nichkhun would understand.

The noticed that Khun would be in town for the weekend had come a little too late, and Khun’s intentions to surprise him by renting a boat and going out sailing together had turn into one big disappointment.

It was Chansung the one that couldn’t make it this time. The one that had to travel outside of town, and the one that couldn’t dropped everything at a moment’s notice.

You owe me.

There was a bitter smile on his face as he read the message on his phone. There was nothing they could do about it now. They still kept in touch but the initial excitement that had made Chansung jittery and smile foolishly was no longer there. Sure they talk a lot over the phone. Nichkhun kept him up to date with his life. Talked often about the places he visited, and how nice it would be if Chansung could come along. But there was only so much a guy could wait. So much he could hope for before excitement turn into bitterness.

He puts away his phone. Not bothering to text back until later on that night.

Next time.

Fall 2014.

Chansung regrets his outfit choice as soon as he gets to the party. MinJun laughs at him, giving him the thumbs up as Chansung drags himself and the heavy cat suit he’s wearing to the kitchen.

“Taecyeon’s idea?” Wooyoung asks, helping him to remove the giant head and giving him a glass of something colorful and probably alcoholic.

“I told him he needs to learn how to say no to Taecyeon.” Junho shakes his head, helping himself to the food laid out in the counter. Chansung watches him for a moment, trying and failing to figure out what exactly he’s custom is supposed to be. 

“He’s dress as himself.” Wooyoung answers before Chansung gets a chance to ask, and Chansung can’t say he’s surprise.

“Really?”

“What?!” Junho retorts, already on the defensive. Chansung’s laugher spreads throughout the kitchen and is not long before two others join them. MinJun almost unconsciously standing next to Wooyoung, one hand on the younger’s waist, the other nursing a beer. Taecyeon bee lines for the food and Chansung yells at him to grab him a plate. The night is young. The company is good and Chansung finds that he’s glad he came along.   

Is Taecyeon the one that approaches him a while later. Wooyoung and Junho lost somewhere amidst the crowd and MinJun off been the host to a party that Taecyeon had organize.

“He didn’t show?” Taecyeon ask and Chansung shrugs.

He doesn’t bother searching. He knows he would not find him. So I instead he focuses on enjoying the party and his friends. Sure it would had been nice to see him, and maybe just maybe he had been a little hopeful when MinJun mentioned inviting him, but Chansung was used to him not showing up by now.

They barely kept in contact anymore and like the time itself, Nichkhun had slipped out of his mind without Chansung noticing it.

He had given up on the maybe laters. Lost hope on the next times. And settled for the maybe is just not meant to be.

Winter 2014

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?”

Is the 5th time Wooyoung has asked the question in the last hour and Chansung doesn’t bother to respond. He was not in the mood. Not tonight.

 He wanted to spend the night at home. Watch some old school movie, laze around in the couch, and empty half a bag of those tiny marshmallows into a giant cup of steamy hot chocolate and just call it a night. 

The year had been a rush and the only thing he wanted to celebrate was its passing. Is not that things had been bad, on the contrary. Everything seem to be working out just fine, but that also meant a full schedule, and the chances to slow down and enjoy himself didn’t come often. There was always something to do, something that require his attention. Limited chances to slow down and take it all in and truthfully he was tired. Mentally drained. Time had slipped right out of his fingers… Regrets? He had many. But there were also nothing he could do about them now.

“You are missing out.” Is Wooyoung's final attempt at reasoning.  “MinJun is not going to be happy… he made a point of inviting him you know.”

Wooyoung knows him well, knows exactly what would make him falter. A year’s worth of misconnections and miss communications. Of missing each other over and over again until Chansung had finally had enough. Yet here he was. The simple thought of seeing him again making him doubt his resolution.

“I doubt MinJun will notice my absence with you there.”  Wooyoung doesn’t fall for the taunt, if anything Chansung thinks he kind of enjoys the little insinuations, neither does he comment on Chansung’s subtle way of avoiding the other subject, and with a resign and final sigh his roommate grabs a set of keys from the counter and slips into his jacket. Wishing Chansung a merry Christmas before stepping out. The door closes behind him with a muted sound, and Chansung finds himself completely alone.

For a second, just a single moment of weakness, he finds himself wondering if he made the right decision. If staying home is really the best way for him to unwind. Sure MinJun can go a little crazy with those parties of his, but is not like Chansung doesn’t enjoy himself.

He shakes his head, pushing the thoughts out of his mind and examining the stack of movies he has laid out on the coffee table. He had already made up his mind and it was too late to go back on his word now. Not even for the minuscule possibility of meeting that person again.

“He probably forgot about me by now.” He reasons out loud, Jeonggam poking his head from where he had been hiding to look at his master questionably. Chansung sighs, a little more resign, and perhaps just a little disappointed.

Things don’t always work out the way you want them to, but at the moment Chansung is not completely sure he knows exactly what he wants.

He’s older now. With a heavier heart and a cautious spirit.

Nichkhun just another one of the many what if’s he wishes he could undo.

Chansung arrives late at MinJun’s, but he got there, and for MinJun that is all that matters.

There is a plate of food set aside for him in the kitchen, and Wooyoung gives him that knowing look that Chansung chooses to ignore. He doesn’t ask, but then again he doesn’t have a need to.

Nichkhun is there. Nervous and unsure, and this time is Chansung that approaches him first.

“Is been a while.”

“It has.” Nichkhun holds his gaze, but Chansung can tell he’s nervous. He doesn’t know why he can, but he does, and for just a second he considers that perhaps he’s not the only one overthinking the situation. It shouldn’t be this complicated. What he like the most about Nichkhun was how simple he was, how easy it was to talk to him.

There is a moment of silence, of hesitation. They are aware of the hush whispers coming from somewhere behind them, the curious glances they are getting, and Chansung laughs, a little nervous, maybe a bit anxious.

“I’m sorry.”

Khun is the one to apologize first. He’s never around. He made it hard for things to work, but Chansung stops him.

“It takes two of us to make it work.” He simply says, knowing he is as much to blame for their current situation. “You weren’t around… I stop trying.”

Perhaps Chansung is imagining things again. Maybe the glimmer of hope he sees behind Khun’s smile is nothing but his mind playing tricks on him. And perhaps Khun was just been polite when he offer to accompany Chansung as he eats.

Even later, when Taec hangs a mistletoe over their heads and demands they stick to tradition, Chansung is still doubtful. He leers at Taec, ready to give the giant oaf a piece of his mind when Nichkhun leans close, his lips brushing Chansung’s cheek. Words escape him, and the blush in his cheek is impossible to hide.

That night Chansung finds out that Nichkhun has gotten a promotion. A boring desk job that requires a lot more time lock up in an office and a lot less time traveling around. He has to leave early again. Family waiting for him, things to do, but he gives Chansung his new number and promises to be the one to call.

Chansung finds himself looking forward to it a lot more then he should. 

*

A/N - Hope that didn't completly . lol I find i always have a hard time when i try to write something sweet. 

Anyway. I posted the story i had first intended to make as a gift, but didn't since it became a chapter story. - http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/881057/is-the-little-things-2pm