It had been months. Luhan didn’t want to count. All he could ever ask for was to find that someone. He had been searching everywhere but still he couldn't find him. There were so many questions to ask; so many words left unsaid. If only he had not been so selfish, that person would probably still be by his side.

When that particular someone left, some things from before turned differently and those included Luhan himself. He knew he had to change. He had to go back to the past for him to understand how much of a fool he had been back then. It pained him too when he realized how much his gravest mistake had done so much damage to that someone. And the only things left with him were images and memories of the one he yearned for who could no longer be held.

On that particular night, Luhan started searching once again for the only soul who could complete him. He trudged along the busy city street with his mind wandering off to that someone he wanted to see that could completely make him happy.

He momentarily stopped right across a railway crossing, eyes closed and head hung so low. When everything came back in a flash. Memories flooded. Feelings overwhelmed him. So he raised his head up, opened his eyes and looked up at the sky as he silently wished that someone would instantly appear, hoping that someone would just be there.

Green light beamed. The gates had slowly opened. People started walking.

Luhan only took one step from where he had been standing when his eyes turned huge as he caught a familiar figure passing him from behind. He was instantly rooted to his spot, body numb, mind totally blank, thoughts all riled up. At that moment, the snow began gradually falling, making Luhan more emotional and completely lost. For a long, timeless moment, he kept a longing stare on the person he had missed the most, on the person he had always wanted to touch and hold. His heart ached. He wanted to talk to him, tell him all the things he had wanted to say since the beginning. He had to tell him he was sorry even though it was too late or otherwise he couldn’t move on.

With not much time left, Luhan ran. He screamed the man's name loudly; loud enough that the man could hear him but still the he did not look back. Luhan hoped that he could freeze the time so that he could grab the guy into his arms.

Through the crowd, Luhan could still see his back. He unconsciously reached out his hand. He tried and called out his name many times.

“Minseok, can you hear me? I'm calling your name. Does it reach you? I am sorry. Please forgive me. I’ve really wanted to see you. Just wanna see you. Please look back just one more time.”

But Minseok went straight ahead. Just straight. He was no longer the person who had been pining for Luhan for very long. He kept moving forward. He never looked back.

"Minseok, I regret it, leaving you behind was one of the most awful decisions I’ve made. Just this this one time would you look at me?"

The gates were closed again. Luhan stood close to the railway. Some people tried to convince him to stay away from it but he seemed not to care. Everything felt surreal. Fear and regret took over him. Tears fell down his face along with the snow falling gradually on the ground.

By the time the train had passed and the crossing opened up again, Luhan knew Minseok wouldn’t be there anymore, looking for him. He was no longer there waiting for him.

“Minseok, I tried to reach you and hold you back in my arms again. I was about to say I still love you but it didn't reach you."

Luhan's body trembled with so much sadness and frustration. At a loss, he stared into the busy crowd. How could he have lost him again?

**

Minseok could hear someone was calling his name. It sounded familiar. He knew it was Luhan. He wanted to turn back and look at him but his body was betraying him. What was wrong with him?

Minseok had waited for him for 3 years. He closed his eyes, struggling to get a firm grip on his spinning thoughts. He fought the desire to take Luhan in his arms, to hold him, to tell him he had missed him. It was too late. It was time to move on.

Fin.