After what seemed like hours of chatting the night away, I felt myself feeling lathegic. I had only known this man for an hour or so but I had somehow opened up to him enough to spill out all my inner thoughts to him, thoughts I wouldn't even tell some of the people closest to me....Maybe it's easier because he's a stranger and he knows nothing about me...or maybe I'm just casted under this guy's spell....

"I know how you feel, the part about feeling lonely in life...." Kevin looked down into his lap and folded his hands. "I've felt that way too...honestly I was feeling that way before tonight...." 

"Is that why you randomly asked to eat dinner with a stranger?" I said half jokingly with a lightly sarcastic tone to lift the mood.

I didn't expect to get this close to someone I didn't even know existed just earlier that night. It was pretty crazy how the world works, but in the end it made me realize we're all just people going through the same things in life.... 

"Actually, yeah..." Kevin looked up and smiled in what seemed to be slight emarassment. "I thought the worst that could happen was I'd just spend another night eating by myself in a place I'm not too familiar with, and I was bored of that..." he took a nibble of cold pizza before continuing "sometimes you just feel like taking weird chances in life, y'know? Oh, and sorry if I came of creepy! I was just feeling really random tonight for some reason..." 

I could hear the waver in his voice, and at that moment I felt a silly tinge of relief go through my mind. I started to daze off into a ridiculous day dream involving Kevin and myself.... What is this feeling...No...I barely know him... I went red from even thinking about it but I couldn't help it, he just seemed to understand exactly how I felt every day the more I talked to him. 

Kevin was looking out the window and staring out into space, I wondered what he was thinking about..."What are you thinking about?" I broke the past few minutes of silence after trying to get rid of all the weird thoughts spilling out of my brain. 

"Hmm?" Kevin snapped out of his trance and widened his eyes as he turned to me. "Oh....nothing..." He smiled to himself and took another bite of pizza. Another few seconds of silence went by..."What are you thinking about?" 

"Stupid things..." I laughed to myself and nodded to reassure him how dumb my brain really was. 

"No, what do you mean?" Kevin didn't seem satisfied with that answer, he kept going "Tell me...what are you thinking about hmm? Is it about me?" He smiled but then it faded when I didn't say anything back. He got a little closer to me and softened his tone. "What's up?" He looked at me with kind eyes and I couldn't help but smile. I appreciated his calm demeanor, it made me feel warm inside. 

"Would it be weird..." I started confidently but my voice trailed off as my brain started to make sense of how stupid I was about to sound. I grinned at my own stupidness and caught myself. 

"Would what be weird?" Kevin looked at me curiously.

"Nevermind, I think I'm full" I tried to change the subject because the logical part of my brain didn't like where this was going. I tried my best to to shut out my screaming heart and it's ridiculous ideas.

"What were you going to say just now? I want to know..." Kevin just wasn't giving up. Sigh. I knew he wouldn't, from the few moments we've known eachother I quickly learned that he was kind but persistent and detail oriented.  "Tell me...please..." His voice got gentler everytime he spoke. It was driving me crazy now, I kept feeling my heart beat quicker for some reason. I...I don't know what to say...

"Would it be weird..." I paused again as I tried to collect my jumbled thoughts and control my heartbeat. "Would it be weird if I asked...I asked you to...spend the night with me.."  I finally gave into Kevin's coaxing and part of me wanted to bash my head against the window and hide in the trunk. Did I really just ask a guy I just met to spend the night with me oh my god... "Not like what you think! I just mean...we can talk more or-or something..." I tried to specify myself but I was too afraid to look at Kevin's face and see his reaction. He probably thinks I'm so desperate! 

"I know what you mean, I'd like that." I finally glanced at him, actually astonished his answer and how gentle his reply was. I thought he would laugh but he didn't... "I think it would be really refreshing to get to be with someone else for a night." Kevin continued, he probably noticed how flustered I was and was trying to make me feel better about saying that so out of the blue. "It would be nice, I'm glad you said that."

"Oh yeah...it would be nice..." I tried to collect myself internally. "Sorry...I know that was a weird question..."

"Oh no, don't be sorry!" Kevin took a deep breath and put his hand on mine. "Don't be sorry...I know what you're thinking...you're not weird for asking, I'm the one who asked to eat with you after all. Everyone wants some company now and then. I know I do." His words made me feel better.

"That's true, I guess that makes you the weird one?" I said lightly. 

"Yeah, I am the weird one." He laughed in agreement. "So...we're not going to spend the night in here are we?" 

"Not unless you really want to." I joked, too afraid to offer my tiny one bedroom studio for him to come over to. I half hoped he would offer in return but I knew that was just plain dangroud...I liked Kevin...I liked him a lot in fact but it was still an undeniably stupid move to spend the night in a home of a stranger. Then again, it's a pretty stupid move regardless of where we spend the night. 

"I hope it doesn't sound creepy to offer my place? If you're comfortable...I live on the other side of town so it's probably inconvienient." Kevin seemed aware of my discomfort with the idea of going to his place. I contemplated what I should do. Say yes and take a risk upon a risk or just get over it and let him see how much of a poor slob I am... 

"I live really close..." I tried to seem eager to let him know I wasn't uncomfortable with it. "It's a small place and I admit I'm a bit messy but if you don't mind that..."

"Oh, I don't mine! I'm pretty messy too." Kevin grinned as his eyes beamed at me. "If it's close then that's better, If you still want to that is." 

"Yea..." I nodded.