Kyungsoo hadn’t really intended to fall for Jongin, he just did.

It happened somewhere between the various hospital appointments and physiotherapy sessions which Kyungsoo attended regularly, Jongin had volunteered to take him to the hospital and back because understandably, Kyungsoo had developed a fear of being around cars.

When the pain wracked through his body and his medication wasn’t helping, Jongin was there. When the physiotherapy was intense and difficult, Jongin was there to hold him up. When Kyungsoo would fall or stumble when practicing walking again, Jongin would pull him back onto his feet again.

The younger boy was keeping Kyungsoo propped up even though the entire world seemed to want Kyungsoo to fall.

It came in stages; it started at Kyungsoo’s first outpatients appointment, Jongin’s hand had brushed against his thigh and he couldn’t fight the angry blush which spread across his face as the doctor talked to him about muscles and how he needed to exercise to regain the strength in his legs.

It only intensified when Kyungsoo had his first physiotherapy appointment and it overwhelmed him to the point where he was in tears and Jongin had pulled him into a soothing hug whilst rubbing circles on the small of his back whilst using his other hand to play with the overgrown hair at the nape of his neck.

He realised that if he didn’t deal with it soon it would become a persistent problem when Jongin reached out to hold his hand as he walked along the designated practice walkway and Kyungsoo felt his palms get sweaty and he almost fell over.

Jongin had sacrificed hours and hours of his own time just to be with Kyungsoo so that he wasn’t alone in the hospital. Kyungsoo promised he’d make it up to him somehow and Jongin had smiled and said that the only way he could make it up to him was by getting better.

“Besides, I need to teach you how to dance once you’ve mastered walking again.” Kyungsoo could feel his face heating up and his heart melting when Jongin gave him a dazzling smile.

--

Things began to get serious when Kyungsoo was told that he only needed a few more physiotherapy sessions until he would have completed his treatment.

He was walking now, albeit sometimes with the assistance on a crutch or Jongin but it was still a lot better than what he had been 3 months ago. He’d moved back into his tiny little city apartment which was proving rather difficult seeing as though it was on the fourth floor and the block didn’t have a consistently working elevator, but he managed.

Kyungsoo could have sworn that Jongin had increased the amount of touching between the two, because last week it had gotten to the point where Kyungsoo had practically been sat on his lap as they watched some old sci-fi movie on Kyungsoo’s laptop. He didn’t know how he ended up like that but they had, and when the separated it was awkward for both of them.

Kyungsoo seemed to have a permanent blush whenever Jongin was around, and if the younger had noticed he hadn’t mentioned it yet. Sometimes Kyungsoo liked to imagine that maybe Jongin liked him back, but then his brain would think of a million reasons why he wouldn’t so he stopped doing that.

Jongin didn’t have to be around anymore, he had 3 more weeks of physiotherapy for his leg and 2 more sessions for his breathing and then he would be finished. Hell, he didn’t even have to stick around for any of it but he did for some reason.

Letting out a sigh, Kyungsoo fell back onto the sofa, carefully resting his pinned leg on a precariously placed cushion. Jongin hadn’t been around for a couple of days so that meant he would either be coming to visit today or tomorrow and Kyungsoo didn’t know if he was emotionally prepared for it.

He was tired, not physically but mentally. The doctors said it might have been the symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder, the nights plagued by nightmares and the short outbursts of panic which seemed to stem from nowhere. He hoped it wasn’t, he didn’t know if he could deal with being mentally handicapped as well as physically, especially not at the same time.

Somewhere between the episode of Star Trek where Captain Kirk fights the gorn and an episode of a car show, Kyungsoo fell into a light sleep. Dreams were a rare thing now, his nights were mostly accompanied by night terrors or vivid flashbacks to the day of his accident. So to sleep without even dreaming about anything was almost a blessing.

He woke up around thirty minutes later to the sound of light knocking on his door. Somehow during his power nap his arm had fallen off the side and he’d lost sensation in it, and he’d drooled onto the cushion underneath his head. He used his functioning arm to try rub sleep from his eyes whilst stretching his back out causing him to whine as it popped.

The knocking intensified as Kyungsoo struggled to get off the sofa, he called out that he was coming but they didn’t hear because the knocking got more rapid.

Ripping the door open and scowling at whoever it was that disturbed his sleep, Kyungsoo almost growled. Jongin was stood there, brown paper bag in his arms as he smiled sheepishly at Kyungsoo before shrugging his shoulders slightly like a child about to be told off.

“I was asleep.” Kyungsoo stated, lips curling up slightly to show how annoyed he was.

Jongin looked away guiltily. “I brought food?” He tried.

Kyungsoo stood there for a moment longer before looking him up and down. Being woken up was probably second on the list of things Kyungsoo hated with a burning passion, but Jongin had brought what smelled like meat and warm cooked food, so it almost cancelled out Jongin’s mistake.

Raising an eyebrow and shuffling to the side, he held the door open. Jongin just smiled wide before practically skipping inside and making himself at home.

It wasn’t that Kyungsoo didn’t like Jongin’s visits, it was just that they made him feel so open like a book. Kyungsoo had always prided himself on being able to keep his emotions in check, but ever since the accident, and since he met Jongin, he’s found it almost impossible to keep how he felt a secret.

He was paranoid, completely and utterly paranoid that Jongin knew how Kyungsoo felt and pitied him, and that was why he was sticking around. Kyungsoo had had friends before who were like that, feeling sorry for the smaller boy to the point where they pretended to be friends.

It was conflicting, really, because Kyungsoo had never experienced this level of adoration for anyone other than his immediate family. It was new and scary, almost like walking into unknown territory which was covered in mines and scary traps. That’s how it felt to him, anyways.

“Kyungsoo-ah, I’m sorry for waking you up, really, I am.” Jongin said, all the while looking like a kicked puppy as Kyungsoo ambled over back to the sofa to rest again. “I know you’ve been struggling to get to sleep, and I’ll make it up to you I promise.”

Kyungsoo wheezed slightly as he fell back into his chair, Jongin was sat on the cushion which he was using to prop up his leg so he decided to use Jongin as the cushion, resting his metal cased leg on Jongin’s lap.

It was impossible to stay angry at Jongin for longer than thirty seconds, the young man was the master of the puppy dog eyes and Kyungsoo could never resist. It totally wasn’t because Kyungsoo wanted to kiss him until he couldn’t breathe, not at all.

“There’s no need, I needed to eat anyways. What did you bring?” He sighed, seeing Jongin’s face as he used him as a human footrest.

Pulling out two tupperware containers and passing one to Kyungsoo, he smiled. “Beef noodles, obviously not as good as yours but I tried.”

Kyungsoo paused. “You made this yourself?”

Jongin nodded enthusiastically before passing a pair of chopsticks to Kyungsoo without saying a word. He thankfully didn’t mention the angry blush which spread across Kyungsoo’s cheeks when they accidentally made skin contact.

The noodles were incredible, not because of the taste but because Kyungsoo knew that Jongin had done it all himself, he could taste the effort that had been put in and it made him smile with every bite. Jongin was just grateful that Kyungsoo was eating his food without making comments on how bad it was.

After food, they both ended up watching reruns of an old drama on TV. Kyungsoo was sleepy and his leg was getting restless so he had to switch from using Jongin as a footrest to just having his leg hang down to the floor. He was sat up, using his leg as an excuse to shuffle closer to Jongin to the point where their shoulders were touching. Kyungsoo was too busy trying to distract himself from Jongin to notice the younger man biting at his nails to try stop a huge smile.

Kyungsoo felt pleasant, content even. He was full and warm and could easily slip back to sleep but he tried to keep himself awake so that he didn’t dream. To say he was lucky to not have dreamt earlier that day during his nap was an understatement, the chances of it happening twice in the same day was slim to none.

Jongin made a squeaking noise when he yawned, stretching out his legs and hearing his knee joints pop. At that point Kyungsoo was fighting to stay awake, the warm food in his belly was enough to make him sleepy. He didn’t realise what was happening until it was too late, he slipped down so that his head was resting on Jongin’s lap as he swung his legs up back onto the sofa so that he was laid out.

Kyungsoo distinctly heard a chuckle from Jongin, but he doesn’t remember much after than because warm hands were carding through his hair lulling him to sleep with the sound the TV in the background.

--

Unfortunately, his nightmare during that stretch of sleep was a particularly bad one. The sounds of the glass smashing and his own bones breaking seemed to be the only thing he could hear over and over, he was laid out on the tarmac again but this time his eyes closed and they never opened again.

Waking up from night terrors like that always left him disorientated. He was never able to tell what was real and what was a dream and it scared him through and through. Usually he would wake in a cold sweat, only to trudge to the bathroom to shower and go make coffee, but this time he woke up to someone caressing his arm and playing with his hair.

Looking up bleary eyed, he saw Jongin. His beautiful, beautiful saviour. He gave Kyungsoo a small smile before whispering to him.

“You looked like you were having a nightmare, do you want to talk about it?”

Jongin’s hand stopped moving when Kyungsoo placed his own hand on top. Jongin was warm and gentle and Kyungsoo was cold and shaking but the younger didn’t flinch away.

“I-”

Kyungsoo didn’t even realise he was crying until he felt the warm tears run down his temples onto Jongin’s lap. He couldn’t even speak because he was that freaked out, not even a warm shower could fix this one.

Jongin didn’t say anything, he just pulled Kyungsoo into a tight hug. The smaller man was on his lap sat up, head buried into the crook of Jongin’s neck as he cried silently. Warm arms were wrapped around Kyungsoo’s tiny frame, almost as if they were trying to protect him from the night terrors.

It was one of the many things Kyungsoo liked about Jongin, he always seemed to know when he needed a hug.

Kyungsoo cried until he felt a headache forming at the front of his skull, he didn’t notice until he stopped crying but his hands had a firm grasp of Jongin’s t-shirt, balling it into his fists. Jongin rubbed soothing circles on his back as he let Kyungsoo grab onto him like a koala.

Jongin cleared his throat slightly. “I think you need to sleep again, Soo-ah.”

Kyungsoo made no effort to move, if anything he clinged on harder.

“Soo… Soo-ah.” Jongin said gently, tapping at Kyungsoo’s shoulder. When the younger still had no response he resorted to desperate measures.

Hooking one arm under his legs and one against his back, Jongin picked up the crying man bridal style. Kyungsoo’s arms shot out and wrapped around his neck to keep himself held up as Jongin slowly walked towards Kyungsoo’s bedroom.

The room was a mess, Kyungsoo hadn’t tidied it in months, clothes were strewn everywhere except for a small pathway which led towards his double bed, covers still thrown to the side from the morning. The bedside table was completely covered in empty water bottles and pill boxes, various remedies to try help with sleep as well as pain management pills.

Laying Kyungsoo down was a difficult task, he didn’t want to let go of Jongin at all. He managed to pry Kyungsoo’s arms off his neck before going to take off Kyungsoo’s socks because he knew the elder didn’t like sleeping in a bed with them on. He was only wearing basketball shorts and a oversized t-shirt which said ‘pugs not drugs’ in faded English characters, so there was no need to change him into something this time.

Pulling the blankets over Kyungsoo gently, Jongin was going to go back to the living room. He had a spare key in the fruitbowl specifically for if this kind of thing happened, because he wasn’t going to leave Kyungsoo alone in this state, he would at least wait until the older man had fallen asleep before leaving.

But he never go the chance because as soon as he turned to leave, Kyungsoo’s hand shot out to grab his own.

“Jongin-ah, please… please don’t leave me tonight.” Kyungsoo’s voice came out shaky and a little bit broken but he managed to form his words.

So he turned back instantly, sitting down gently on the edge of the bed to avoid Kyungsoo’s injury. He took hold of the older man’s hands with his own and gently his thumbs over the backs of Kyungsoo’s hands as a gesture of comfort. He nodded to the other as a sign of confirmation, which made Kyungsoo seem to settle.

“You can… sleep next to me, if you want, I don’t mind just- just don’t leave me.”

“Okay. Okay.”

And that was how he’d ended up under the sheets too, sleeping on his side because Kyungsoo seemed to gravitate towards him whenever he slept, probably because he was warm. Kyungsoo’s back was flush to his chest, and he was holding onto the arm that Jongin had snuck around the smaller man’s waist.

Jongin just wanted the other to feel safe again, because he didn’t know personally how Kyungsoo felt, but he understood that Kyungsoo was finding it difficult to adjust to life after the accident. The doctors had said it was a possibility that Kyungsoo would be mentally scarred by the accident, and that the months after would be very difficult, but Jongin didn’t know it would be so horrible to see.

The arm around Kyungsoo tightened as he felt a wave of protectiveness wash over him. The smaller man had started to doze off as soon as Jongin had pulled him close, probably because he felt a bit more secure. Sleep was beginning to pull him under as he heard Kyungsoo’s breathing even out.

Just before he dozed off completely, he heard a gentle voice murmur a “Thank you.” and slightly cooler fingers interlink with his own warm ones.

AN: Yeah I couldn't leave it on a sad note and I possibly may turn this into a 3 part thing making the third part fluffy as hell I don't know, if there are any mistakes I'll correct them tomorrow morning because maaaaan I am falling asleep. If I get some comments I'll probably write the next part in the next couple of days, yep, I'm that person. Also happy late christmas???? cool

Chapter title is from Recover by CHVRCHES