Blue

"How is he?" Daehyun's voice rings particularly foreign and unwanted amidst the space between the two. The walls of the hospital are confining, and Himchan's glare is murderous. Himchan his head one side. "Peachy. Now off."

"I just want to see him." He's never had to beg before. He is Jung Daehyun; why is he pleading? Himchan mercilessly shoves him away, teeth gritted. "See him? After what you've done?" Himchan clenches his fist but thankfully, Jongup holds him back before he can cause any real damage. Daehyun stares back, eyes forlorn as his pride crumbles to nothing for the man he never bat an eyelid for. "Please, Himchan."

"You're a ing !" Himchan shrieks, scaring a few passing nurses as Jongup hurriedly restrains him once again. Junhong bolts out of the room suddenly, frenzied joy weaved into his shaking hands. "Himchan! Himchan! He's waking up! Yongguk's waking up!" Daehyun's eyes fly wide open as Himchan in a breath sharply. All thoughts of hurting Daehyun are abandoned and he barges into Yongguk's ward, leaping to Yongguk's side as the battered man shifts.

Daehyun enters hesitantly, staring from the frame. His heart begins to beat frantically as he takes in the scars carved into Yongguk's skin, one arm and both legs stuck in casts. Something claws at his throat, something unfamiliar that Yongguk had never been able to make him feel till the day he'd gotten the call. It'd been a little too late for him to realise that yes, perhaps he did love Yongguk, and perhaps he had always taken the man for granted. His benign smiles, his gentle touches, his tendency to acquiesce to whatever Daehyun wanted...

Yongguk was a gone case, fallen too deep for a soul too self-serving, and perhaps that was what Daehyun hated the most about him despite their fervent nights tangled together, Yongguk's bruises gleaming in the moonlight. I love you, Daehyun. 

Yeah, yeah. Why, he'd thought as he caressed Yongguk's body time and time again, why would a man be this stupid to love someone who was as demonic as Daehyun was? Who would be foolish enough to give up their entire self to a man who broke it ever so often, both physically and mentally? Daehyun clearly wasn't the only one who thought the same. Himchan had punched Daehyun twice when Yongguk finally confessed that Daehyun had beaten him after getting into a fight with his fiancée. 

What the hell does he see in you?! Himchan had given him a black eye that day, screaming as Daehyun found no will to fight back. He still doesn't know if it was because he was too inembriated, or because he thought he deserved it. Why the did he choose you over me?!

Daehyun had never understood why Himchan was so obsessed with a man like Yongguk. A childhood love, never confessed, how pitiful. Daehyun had looked Himchan in the eyes, pain throbbing through his body, but resolution still set on breaking Himchan to pieces. Beat him even though he'd won from the very start when he captured Yongguk's heart. 

One man's trash is another man's treasure. Daehyun had ended up with a broken jaw, Himchan spitting on him as he stormed out of the house. It was Yongguk who nursed him back to health, loving whispers and tender warmth meshed with a smile too enraptured with the biggest filth of the universe. Daehyun had never deserved Yongguk. He had been the man's first everything—first date, first kiss, first boyfriend, first love, first time. Yongguk had softly pleaded with Daehyun to be gentle and that he was a , but Daehyun would have none of that bull. You'll feel good after a while. That never happened. Yongguk ended up bleeding onto the sheets before Daehyun swore in panic, finally noticing the other man's tears and his face contorted in pain. Even in that injured state, Yongguk had offered to finish him off after Daehyun pulled out.

"Junhong, go get the doctor," Himchan orders and the younger boy nods, dashing past Daehyun. Yongguk groans weakly, blinking his eyes. "Yongguk?" Himchan calls out softly, hand placed over Yongguk's tenderly. Daehyun had always made use of the fact that Himchan was so bloody in love with Yongguk. Fool, he'd thought as he rubbed salt into Himchan's gaping wound. Daehyun would always be a thousand times more affectionate towards Yongguk with Himchan around. Fools, both of them.

"H-Himchan?" Daehyun feels his heart stop. Yongguk's voice is frail and it pounds against his head, like the times Yongguk would curl up in a ball and whimper as Daehyun hit him repeatedly. Stop thinking you have any control over me, . I'm going to marry her anyway so none of the you say matters. Daehyun had question Yongguk once, in Daehyun's more benevolent moods, why Yongguk stayed with him when he knew what laid for him at the end. To be broken, abandoned and all alone.

Yongguk had smiled in return, the luminance barely reaching his eyes. There is always some madness in love. Daehyun still remembers it even now; it'd been Yongguk's favourite quote. That was how they met, after all: at an art exhibition, the words carved into marble and framed to represent it couldn't escape.

The ending had come too fast.

"Yongguk," Himchan's voice breaks as his tears trickled down his face. He musters up a smile, lightly Yongguk's face. "How are you feeling?"

"W-What happened?" Yongguk breathes, shutting his eyes for a moment. The panic assails Daehyun as he steps forward, fearful that Yongguk would forever shut his eyes like he'd done for the past one week. The sound of Daehyun's shoes squeaking against the floor has Yongguk snapping his eyes back open, staring straight at Daehyun.

I'm sorry. The words don't leave his mouth as the memories wash over Daehyun, choking him like a hundred feet high tidal wave. Yongguk had been the only reason he could swim and save himself in the insanity that had consumed him. Yongguk carried him on his shoulders, sacrificing his breaths underneath as Daehyun spluttered, face just barely above the surface.

I'm so sorry. For the first time in years, Daehyun feels like crying. He doesn't break their gaze, hoping Yongguk would reach for the nearest object and chuck it at him. Beat him up for all the times Daehyun had torn him down. A part of him expects a soft smile, as it'd always been what Yongguk greeted him with.

"Hey," Himchan seethes once he follows Yongguk's gaze. "I told you to get out." His voice is restrained against a boiling anger enough to break the world, all for the sake of not startling Yongguk.

"Get out? Why?" The question lingers in the air as Daehyun blinks hard, Yongguk's gaze veering away. Something's wrong. 

"Oh my god, Yongguk," Himchan spits, the bedsheets to control his irascibility. "Don't tell me you're siding with him."

Daehyun steps forward, despair clawing at his throat and tying a noose around his neck. He remembers Yongguk's beautiful fingers intertwined with his, his lips pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. No, no, no, no, no-

"What?" Yongguk frowns, staring back at Daehyun with a look of absolutely no recognition. "W-Who is he?"

The doctor brushes past Daehyun, Junhong in tow. Daehyun's body turns numb, and his world collapses into unfixable debris.