DAY 422

“Are you sure?” XV asked. Leo informed him that day about his intention of quitting his attempts to restore Hongbin’s lost memory, and XV seemed surprised. “I’m still up for it, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Leo was concerned for XV, as the constant experimentations were bound to cause some form of erosion in his systems, and that was a poor state to be in for a young android. But more than that he concluded that perhaps this wasn’t what he wanted after all. Hongbin was quite explicit about his desire for Leo to lead a life of his own, especially in his absence, and thus it was just another stage of becoming independent. Maybe he didn’t need the professor to hold his hand anymore… XV was surprisingly enough.

“Yes,” Leo replied. “I think this experiment has run its course.”

Leo had cleared a large part of Hongbin’s storage closet to make room for the documents from the failed memory restoration. He asked XV to help him put away everything regarding the experiment, hence tucking away the last few months for good. He moved aside another heavy folder full of notes and realized that he might need to purchase another closet soon since this one apparently can only contain a year worth.

“I’m sorry it didn’t work.” XV mumbled apologetically as he collected some defective chips from the table into a small box.

Leo turned to meet XV’s fallen face and scowled in response to his… remorse, yes, that’s what it was.

“It’s not your fault, XV.” Leo assured. “If anything, I should have known this was bound to happen.”

“In fact,” He continued. “I suspect that my creator initially attempted the same thing with me, but that failed as well. I just don’t think we have a firm grasp on that technology yet.”

Leo was never good at consolation. Hongbin’s last days on earth were the hardest on Leo, because he had never seen his master this sad before and he didn’t know what to do. After creating XV he suddenly wished he was a companion droid as well, because maybe then he could have offered Hongbin some solace instead of fulfilling empty wishes. The most he could do was bring him a glass of water, or hold a basin up to his mouth as he retched into it unsuccessfully. And when Hongbin apologized with a joking smile for not being good company, Leo genuinely didn’t understand what he meant because he was always the only company he ever needed.

 Leo found himself regretting lacking the nerve to ask his master about that human version of himself he saw in the memory simulator all that time ago, because now he knew that he wasn’t the type of company his master wanted, and that perhaps he was the one that needed to apologize. But there was still so much he didn’t know about his supposed upbringing, and so much he’ll never find out.

XV smiled in response to Leo’s attempted comforting words, and Leo felt that singe of pride he always felt whenever he said the right thing. Humanoid interactions were surprisingly confusing, but XV taught him about them more than he ever hoped learn, and found that he felt proud more often than not these days.

DAY 424

Leo decided to head out and buy a new supply closet, and XV went completely wide eyed when Leo asked him to join.

“Really? I can come?” His mouth fell open in surprise, though it was up the sides in a beginning of a smile.

“Sure,” Leo shrugged. “You’ll have errands of your own soon so you might as well learn to run them.”

Leo thought XV’s smile couldn’t grow any wider once he’d uttered his approval, but he was proven wrong once again.

XV helped pick out quite an efficient looking supply closet. Hongbin’s consisted of narrow shelves stacked one over the other, but XV suggested they purchase a hive-like one, making storage easier thanks to the wide spaces the hollow pentagons provide. Leo was impressed, but not as impressed as he was with XV’s response to his first ever outing.

XV seemed much more… relaxed in the foreign environment. Whereas Leo was utterly dumbfounded at the vividness of the outside world, XV seemed to fit in as naturally as any other human would. He walked around with ease and looked around casually and not as frantically as Leo had at the time. He greeted every new sight with a familiar smile, as if he was merely reacquainting himself with a world he briefly left and Leo was taken aback by the softness in XV’s eyes as he waved at a baby in a stroller, but then realized that this was where he belonged. He was made to interact with the world, not spend his time pent up in a lab along with an assistant droid who can’t supply him the humanoid stimulus he was made to receive. Once again Leo found himself wishing he was human.

Leo was still lost in his thoughts when the cashier told the two androids that their order will arrive in a week, to which XV smiled and uttered a polite “thank you”.

“The cupboard will arrive to your address next Thursday during the morning hours,” He turned to talk to XV. “So at least make sure that your android is home so he can sign the delivery papers.”

Leo froze and refocused his thoughts on the peculiar exchange. His gaze bounced between the cashier and XV, who seemed to share his confusion, before finally landing on XV again. Their eyes barely met before XV grimaced into what was probably supposed to be another smile and said, “I will”.

They then exited the store, exchanging another curious look.

“It’s just because I was the one who thanked him,” XV salvaged, though Leo wasn’t sure who XV was trying to assure- Leo or himself. “That’s all.”

“Yes, that must be why.” Leo said, and it wasn’t a lie. XV’s explanation could have been completely precise for all he knew, but he was aware of how lifelike XV looked; he was the one who created him to be so. But the cashier’s comment didn’t make him as proud as it should have.

They then fell silent as they made their way back to the lab. They didn’t make it far from the store before Leo spotted an officer leaning against his vehicle near the sidewalk. He stiffened, knowing that he must never have any kind of interference with the police if he wishes to keep his consciousness. Hongbin had warned him of the trained police force, now qualified to host random security checks on androids to look for illegal software. And just at that moment, as if on cue, the officer called over a human and his android, two that were walking just ahead of Leo and XV.

Leo didn’t waste any time and grabbed XV’s arm to turn him away from the scene and quickly crossed the street along with him, ignoring his questioning glare.

“Police,” Was all Leo said when they were out of danger. XV’s eyebrows arched in recognition and he nodded solemnly. Leo made sure to have that talk before they left the lab, but apparently XV wasn’t as observing. Not only were they two androids who had no human master, which on its own was illegal, but both were highly tweaked illegals, and their mere existence was completely outlawed. Leo always made sure to be on the lookout for patrolling cops on his outings, but now he must teach XV to do the same. Getting caught meant getting deactivated, and that was the last thing Leo wanted to happen to either of them. He then realized that if his life was dangerous before, it was now twice as much.

DAY 431

“Have you given some thought to what I asked you some time ago?” XV asked, holding a box of screws as Leo assembled his new supply closet. It was more of an elaborate looking shelf than a cupboard since Leo decided not to use the metallic door that was supposed to cover it. He liked the bare look of the geometric shelves, like a magnified microscopic being hung on the wall for study.

“Could you be more specific?” Leo took another screw from the box and attached it to the tip of his drill. After all, XV asks him many questions on a daily basis, he couldn’t even begin to guess which one he was referring to.

“You’re right, sorry.” XV shook his head with a chuckle. “About a month ago I asked you what the nature of our relationship should be, now that we’ve given up the memory restoration.”

Leo liked the way he said “we”, it made Leo’s failure less of an aching reminder and more of a joint responsibility.

“The master usually states his desired setting during the initial activation,” He continued upon Leo’s silence. “This is the longest period a companion droid should go without a defined setting.”

Leo could tell that XV was speaking out of his manual again. His “normal” speaking tone was much more casual than that, but every once in a while he’d resort to his technical speech when he can’t find a simplified equivalent.

Leo took his time to screw in a pentagonal plate to the wall before responding.

“I guess that’s up to you, XV.” He turned to look at the blank faced android beside him. “Because I’m not your master.”

XV blinked at him.

“You have four setting that you’re free to use at will. I trust you to assess the situation and use whichever setting you deem appropriate.” He explained. “If you feel the need to be protective- go for it, whether you want to joke around or have a serious conversation, feel free do to whichever. You can even kiss me if you want, but only with permission. I still need to get used to that.” He mumbled the last part.

XV went from apparent catatonia, to a fearful brow furrow, to a beaming smile, and back to a hesitant grin in a matter of seconds. Leo could relate; he had trouble adjusting to overwhelming emotions far too soon into his existence as well, and he could tell that his statement churned an entire cacophony inside XV that he was battling to control.

“Oh.” Was all XV salvaged in return. His eyebrows were still arched in surprise, but he was sporting a small grin on his lips, which he then in what seemed to be a nervous gesture. Androids didn’t need to moisten their lips like humans did, but some gestures were internalized for their emotional effect. XV was essentially a robotic mirror of humanity, whereas Leo was a sponge.

Leo maintained his eye contact for another moment before looking back to the shelf that was slowly taking shape. “Screw,” He ordered with an outstretched hand. XV shook himself out of his thoughts and handed him a bolt from the box.

“Thanks, Leo.” XV then said seemingly out of context, but Leo understood what he was referring to.

“Don’t thank me,” Leo replied before a loud whirr overtook the conversation as he screwed in the last cell wall. “I really do enjoy your presence.” He concluded with a smile.

“I enjoy your presence too.” XV returned a dimpled grin and turned his head to look at the completed hive on the wall. “It looks great!” He exclaimed.

Leo rose from his hunched position and joined XV’s side. The hive really did add something different to the sterile atmosphere of the lab. Now that he thought of it, this was his first independent creation since XV, and for some reason he found that humorous.

“What are you snickering about?” XV’s cocked his head playfully to the side.

“I shall call it XVI.” Leo said, then immediately pursed his lips to suppress a laugh.

XV furrowed his brows in confusion before recognition lit up his eyes and he burst into a throaty chortle. Leo found himself joining him soon after. A year and two months on earth, and this was the first time he laughed.

 DAY 442

Leo and XV had just finished stacking the new shelves with various gadgets and paraphernalia and found themselves seated in front of it on the metallic operating table, marveling at the new addition to the lab.

“Do you like being called XV?” Leo then asked, his gaze still fixated on the clean outline filled with asymmetrical miscellanea.

 “I don’t know,” XV mused, not turning to meet his gaze. “I’ve never really thought about it.”

“It could have been nice to have a name like you, but this name is all that I know.” He continued. “I suppose I was meant to be named Hongbin, though…” His voice then trailed off.

The reason Leo brought the subject up in the first place was because he noticed that all the new binders on the shelves were scribbled with XV’s initials on them, and then remembered that XV doesn’t actually have a name. He himself was named practically upon his wake, but XV had been addressed by his model name for months now.

“Would you like to have been called something else?—“
“Are you disappointed that I’m not Hongbin?—“
They both asked at the same time and then immediately fell silent. They then went on to stare at each other across both sides of the table, waiting to see who will be the first to respond.

“No,” Leo finally said. “I didn’t expect things to go the way they did, but I am more than content. You turned out to be a pleasant surprise.”

XV kept silent for another moment before looking away and croaking out with a weak voice. “XV is fine.”

“Did I say something wrong?” Leo didn’t know how else to take XV’s strange reply. He was genuinely worried, as he would still occasionally blurt out tactless remarks but he did feel himself getting better at socializing. Was he experiencing a setback?

XV smiled before he spoke, and Leo’s dread died down at the sight of his upturned lips. “No, I just had a strange thought, don’t worry about it.”

XV didn’t elaborate, and Leo didn’t push him.

DAY 443

It was during the evening hours when Leo and XV returned from another errand to find that the door to the laboratory was open.

They shared a cautious look before slowly entering the vicinity, practically tip-toeing. Leo wasn’t one to leave the door unlocked.

The entrance was made up of a horizontal corridor facing two neighboring rooms, one of which was the lab, and the other was the lobby. It was a small room that held no indication of the entirely other world just on the other side of the wall. It consisted of a small single bookshelf (that looked more like a nightstand) full of non scientific literature alongside two cushioned arm chairs facing a wall full of relaxing paintings. It was a serene little getaway, designed to be just that. The room was humble-looking but it was decorated with green plants and small statues of dancing figures that, along with the paintings, created an entirely different atmosphere in the small cranny. Hongbin would often resort to the lobby to read before heading to his nearby living quarters. He would make himself a cup of tea and lose himself in a book for an entire afternoon. Leo wished he could do the same, but books never held the same effect on him as, for example, the memory simulator did.

“Stay here,” Leo ordered, and XV returned a wary gaze but did as told.

Leo could hear a set of unfamiliar voices coming from the lab, and took a defensive pose as he approached the scene. He planned to stay out of sight, but he was greeted by two figures that stood just across his line of vision. They were standing beside the twin recharging pods, discussing something in a hushed voice before their eyes met Leo’s.

“Who are you?” Leo asked sternly, still maintaining a pose that said neither fight nor flight.

“We should be asking you the same thing,” One of them answered. They were both wearing the dark grey uniform that the local police force wore, but something about theirs was different- they were wearing black gloves. The special corps, Leo fished out from his manual. If the regular patrolling cops were trained in hunting down illegals, then the special corps was specialists in the field. For all he knew, they were the ones who taught their subordinates all they knew.

Leo remained silent. Whatever he'd say would only incriminate him.

“Where’s your master?” The other asked and began to move towards him. They both looked extremely alike, and not in the way all humans did in Leo’s eyes, they looked like they were genetically engineered to look menacing, almost like militarized androids. Both had a square jaw and an unkind look in their eyes, and everything about them screamed “danger”.

“He’s out on an errand.” Leo lied.

“Lee Hongbin, that’s his name, right?” The one on the left chimed in. He was now close enough for Leo to see the color of his eyes, which was as dark as their gloves. Leo calculated the consequences of another lie, and chose to speak the truth this time. He nodded.

“Well, that’s interesting,” He continued. “Because Lee Hongbin has been dead for more than six months now.”

Leo froze in his place.

“We’ve received noise complaints about this area, something about drilling in the middle of the night,”

Damn it, Leo thought, he was so caught up in his work that he forgot to take breaks during the night.

“So we’ve checked who supposedly inhabits this… whatever this is,” The officer went on to say, waving his hand in dismissal. “And found out that  the property owner has apparently risen from the dead.” He was smirking by the end of the sentence, proud of his little gag.

“Come here, droid.” He grabbed Leo’s arm and pulled him closer. “Droid” was merely a shortcut to “android”, a title to which Leo would often willingly respond, but it sounded more like an insult coming from the officer’s mouth.

He decided as he was dragged over to the farthest cop that it was best to cooperate and try to think of a solution as he goes. He fought his instinct to look back at XV, but knew that he’d give away his presence if he did.

The quieter officer removed a forked object from his belt, the same one Hongbin had used on Leo all that time ago during his initial activation. Every inch of Leo’s body was suddenly overcome with dread as the officer lifted his hand to align with his Adam’s apple. He then jammed the device into the side of Leo’s neck with unnecessary force, and Leo expected to lose consciousness on the spot, but nothing happened. Instead, a faint beep escaped the machine, and then silence.

“Holy ,” The cop exclaimed. “This one has DNA!”

“What?” The other mimicked his disbelief. “Let me see that.” He pushed his partner aside to take a look at whatever stat was shown on the device. It was silent for a moment as both gawked at the seemingly impossible occurrence while Leo’s mind raced in search for a way out.

Fight or flight, fight or flight, Leo’s instincts buzzed. He was running out of time, he needed to act soon. Fight.

Leo raised his leg to kick the nearest officer in his groin. It was a strange sensation. He’s never harmed a human before; it was against the golden rule of robotics. But his mere existence was illegal, so breaking another law was only barely adding insult to injury. The officer lost his grip on Leo and fell on his back, the device flying out and away from Leo’s neck and sliding across the ground to the other side of the room. Leo then took off in a sprint towards the door, knocking over the other cop who stood too stunned to move as he made a run for it.

But it wasn’t long until the officers regained their senses and began to chase after Leo.

“Stop or we shoot!” One of them yelled. He didn’t turn back to look at them but he could hear an electronic buzz right behind him, and despite never seeing them before, he knew that it was coming from their weapons.

Soon enough the buzzing turned into a whistle and something flew right past his ear, exploding into a blast of red light on the wall before him. Whatever it was, it was aimed right at his head. And then something hit the back of his knee. It didn’t hurt as much as it numbed the entire area, and Leo could already feel his tendons tensing up over the titanium bones, and suddenly he was limping. Luckily, he managed to maintain a fast stride despite his injury and soon enough he was already swerving in the direction of the lobby where XV awaited diligently, and joined him hurriedly inside the room.

“What’s going on?” XV shouted once Leo locked the door behind them and began to slide the measly amount of furniture in the room against it, dragging his leg around like a useless stump.

Leo knew that their fate was sealed. He never thought that androids could have a fate, as it was more of a human concept than anything else, but he knew that there was no chance of them both surviving this ordeal. He could feel the numbness begin to spread, inching its way up to his thigh, soon to reach his hip. Perhaps his fate was to stay.

They were trapped. But then Leo remembered one crucial detail- this room had a skylight, just like the lab.

“Climb out the skylight, quick!” Was all he said as he continued to pile up a fort in front of the heavy wooden door. But it was a meek effort because he soon ran out of furniture and he might as well had held it shut with his body. So he did, and motioned for XV to use the furniture as leverage. And right then, an aggressive shove pushed him forward and away from the door as the officers attempted to enter the room by force. The door might had been heavy, but judging by their appearance, the cops looked certified in hauling their way into practically anything.

“What about you?” XV’s eyes were wide with horror as he stood planted in his spot. He noticed XV’s gaze flicker to his right leg that quivered under Leo’s weight as he struggled to keep upright. “You’re hurt!” He gasped.

“Don’t worry about me,” Leo managed to utter as another blow sent the door recoiling into his spine. “I’ll be right behind you.” He lied.

XV remained still, his mouth gaping as he stared at Leo, dumbfounded.

“Go!” Leo bellowed, startling XV into action. He grabbed the two chairs and began stacking them on top of each other, directly underneath the skylight. He climbed them shakily and stopped at the top to look down at Leo. His eyes were full with too many emotions for Leo to comprehend, but he managed to decipher a few. He saw that XV was scared, and sad, and lost, but more than anything Leo recognized pleading. XV wasn’t saying goodbye, he was saying “come on”, but it was a lost cause.

For a moment, Leo thought he actually had a chance to join him, as XV was only moments away from flinging the window open and lifting himself out of there, and maybe he could drag himself forward a little, just enough for XV to grab onto him… but then the door cracked with a horrid shattering sound, and the shoving only grew more aggressive as Leo held on to the remaining wood for dear life. And he was now practically kneeling on the ground, supported solely by his functioning leg.

“Go, now!” Leo shouted again, but his voice was drowned out by the deafening sound of the heavy door succumbing to the officers’ efforts. XV looked like he was going to say something, but pursed his lips and sent Leo one last determined look before pulling the lever. Leo smiled at him, and he was saying goodbye. XV shut his eyes in response and pulled himself up into the cold air.

Leo sighed in relief. XV was safe. And it didn’t even matter to him that he wasn’t. It didn’t matter that he was beginning to lose the feeling in his lower back, and that the door suddenly bore the weight of the world. It didn’t even matter to him that he was seconds away from his deactivation, that if he was human he’d soon be joining Hongbin underground. And if he was human, that thought would be comforting, but he had a different hope to hold on to- the hope that XV survives.

This wasn’t “Leo’s world” as Hongbin had put it all that time ago, it was Hongbin’s world, and now it was XV’s. It was a world made for humans, and only now had he realized that he didn’t belong there. XV, on the other hand, had endless potential. He was refined, an elite, whereas Leo felt as old and outdated as time itself. A year and two months were enough for him. But his biggest regret was that he won’t be there to celebrate that timestamp for XV. He wouldn’t be there to see him flourish in the world he was built for. He wasn’t meant for life in a lab like Leo was; he was made to socialize, to work in a hospital or a nursing home, to take care of babies and teach kindergarteners, he was as human as an android can get, and deserved to be. So it was all okay.

At that moment Leo suddenly remembered Hongbin’s definition of love- putting one’s happiness before his own, and his chest ached with both joy and despair because he had finally discovered what it felt to love, but that would probably be the last emotion he’d ever feel. What a great way to go, he thought without any sense of bitterness. He almost laughed.

And thus even when the door finally broke open and the cops entered the room to capture Leo in a headlock, even when the only thing he could feel in his limp body were the cold rods of the deactivator snaking into the sockets in his neck, he was smiling. He smiled because out of the countless unanswered equations residing in his brain, he managed to decode what might be the most important one. He smiled because the last thing he saw in his consciousness before he shut his eyes forever was the only face he had ever loved- the face of his master and his creation. Hongbin and XV.

He didn’t feel any pain, because he never does. It felt more like Hongbin had described death- a calm release, a slow drift into nothingness. The last thought he had was that he hoped XV was already far enough from the lab, far enough to never be found, far enough to be happy. Then it all went black.