DAY 372

Leo looked up at XV smiling at him from the recharging apparatus, and felt… awestruck. He was amazed at how lifelike XV looked, how organic and natural he seemed, and almost managed to forget that he was his very own creation. He couldn’t help but remember back his outings with Hongbin all those months ago.

Leo had accompanied Hongbin quite a few times on his endeavors to the hospital, and once he was done marveling over how bright the sun was and how warm its rays felt on his cheeks, he averted his attention to the many people flooding the street, though some of them weren’t actually people. In fact, many of the people strolling down the way to the hospital were walking along their very own androids, and if you hadn’t known any better you would never have noticed the difference, that is until you looked closer.

Most of the androids ranged between models XI to XIV and he earlier models were the grittiest ones. They held the least resemblance to the humans beside them, standing out due to their shinier skin, their slightly more vacant expressions, and their somewhat of a stiff walk, but as the edition advanced it was harder to tell apart the human from the machine.The androids seemed to possess a wide range of features, though some seemed to recur, like a similar eyebrow arch or a nose slope. 

Leo tagged along Hongbin in silence, his eyes scanning his surroundings with blatant curiosity, and wondered who all those droids were modeled after, and how their features were chosen. Did their masters go for what they thought was most attractive? Or most common-looking? He then went on to wonder how he looked from the side. He knew that he was tweaked, and hence illegal, but to what extent was it obvious? Could he be otherwise mistaken for human?

Leo was once about to turn to Hongbin and unleash his unending stream of questions during one of their outings, but his creator’s thoughts seemed to be elsewhere. He looked straight ahead with his lips pursed and didn’t even notice Leo’s curious gaze directed towards him. Leo remained silent until the urgency of said questions eventually died down.

XV’s smile suddenly faded into something more perplexed, bringing Leo back into the present, and he gazed upon Leo with furrowed brows.

“You’re not… human.” He mused. His voice was almost identical to Hongbin’s, though it held the same kind of almost static background noise to it as Leo’s voice had, despite probably sounding the same to the ear. But the strange tone of his voice wasn’t as confusing as what had actually been uttered with it.

XV… Hongbin didn’t remember Leo. Something must have gone wrong with the memory transplant. Leo was dumbfounded. He had never made a mistake before… a technical one, at least. He remembered quite clearly that he downloaded Hongbin’s recorded memories unto XV’s memory card, and included many of his own as well to fill in some gaps. What happened?

“No, I’m not.” Leo responded. “You… don’t remember me?” He was suddenly overcome by tremendous sorrow, though he wasn’t sure if it was due to the mistake he made or due to the fact that a replica of his creator was standing before him, and yet it lacked any sort of recollection of his own creation.

“Should I?” XV smile reappeared, though it was visibly hesitant now. “Perhaps a reintroduction is appropriate, then.”

XV then resumed by leaning out of the apparatus, completely on his own, and stepped down to Leo’s level, his eyes shining as bright as his grin. Leo didn’t think had ever seen Hongbin smile this wide, and yet it didn’t look unnatural on the android’s lips. It looked… homely, inviting,

 “You’re an XIV, I can see that. And I’m an XV. That’s all I got.” He said and reached out his hand. “What did your master name you?”

“Leo.”He responded, looking down at XV’s outstretched hand with apparent confusion. XV maintained another moment of inquisitive eye contact before lowering his hand due to Leo’s lack of response.

“Is there a human around?” XV went on to ask, his eyes scanning the premise, probably for his supposed human companion.

“No.”

Hongbin’s confusion seemed to increase. “I don’t understand.” He said.

Leo was at a loss for words. How could he even begin to explain the situation to XV/Hongbin? He could feel himself begin to overheat with stress, but his internal cooling system was quick to take charge, lowering his inner temperature until he was back to normal, physically, at least. His distressed mind, on the other hand, was still working itself to exhaustion… until he suddenly he had an idea.

“Follow me,” Leo instructed, leading XV to sit on the metallic operating table. He looked back to see XV take his first steps, and was disappointed to realize that he walked differently from the professor. Hongbin used to take smaller steps, as if he was calculating the width of the stride as he moved. It made him look cautious but confident, as if he was well aware of his surroundings and yet chose to go about them with care and precision. XV on the other hand had a wide stride which looked slightly awkward in relation to his bodily proportions. He looked too comfortable, too resilient in the unfamiliar territory, and Leo was openly disquieted about that seemingly irrelevant detail.

So what if he doesn’t walk like the professor? He scolded himself internally. They have enough in common as it is.

XV shuffled onto the table, making himself comfortable on the flat shimmering surface before redirecting his gaze towards Leo, awaiting his explanation.

Leo wasn’t sure this was going to work, but it was worth a try. He rummaged through a messy tool closet just on the other side of the charging booth before retrieving a nostalgic piece of machinery. It’s been a while since he had last seen this invention, and once again he felt that strange, slightly disorienting familiar feeling.

“This might be able to give you a better brief of what’s happened.” Leo explained as he approached XV, holding the helmet tenderly in his hands.

XV seemed to be very trusting for a companion droid apparently missing his human companion, but Leo was glad he wasn’t making a fuss. He surely wouldn’t have known how to handle that.

“May I?” He gestured just above XV’s forehead, and immediately questioned himself. Why am I asking for his permission? But then he remembered. He wanted him to be free willed, just like he had been.

XV also seemed to ponder the request, seemingly unsure of whether or not he wanted the contraption to envelop his head, but he eventually agreed.

Leo waited patiently as XV watched what used to be Hongbin’s memories. Before he had died he had made a habit of recording at least fifteen minutes of his everyday life and storing it in a chip hidden in the helmet. He would edit the footage at the end of the day, creating an informative little reel. Leo assumed it had to do with Hongbin’s fear of death- making sure that his memories live on, if not in his own mind, then in others’.

XV’s expression changed from intrigue to melancholia within a matter of minutes as Hongbin’s story unraveled.  Leo could hear the muffled audio resonating from underneath the contraption as XV listened intently. It was the complete opposite experience Leo had had when he first tried out the professor’s new invention. XV was also witnessing a small fraction of life, though it was more of a eulogy than anything else.

XV removed the headgear silently once the reel had ended and placed it beside him. He turned to stare at Leo with emotion that Leo himself surely couldn’t have comprehended during his first day on earth, not to mention replicated.

“He died, didn’t he?” XV then said.

Leo nodded wordlessly.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” XV reached to lay his hand on Leo’s arm, and Leo looked down in bewilderment. He has never been touched this way before. The most Hongbin had offered to him in that sense was a hearty clap on the back or a fond pat on his shoulder. This was different, though.

Leo has never heard that phrase before, but combining it with XV’s peculiar gesture, he figured to file it under “condolences”.

 “So…” XV removed his hand, now smiling again. “Are you planning on trying again?”

“Trying what again?”

“Restoring my memory, of course.” He replied as a matter of fact.

Leo remained silent. It didn’t work the first time, why would it work again? This was his first failure, and he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it. Humans learn from their mistakes, they improve with experience, as did Leo, but to what extent? Where there mistakes he couldn’t learn from? There was still so much he didn’t know about himself, and now more than ever he wished to have the professor by his side, both to answer his questions and just to feel his presence.

“Would that be okay with you?” Leo knew how important his free will was to Hongbin. Before including Leo in anything he would always ask for his permission first. It was a confusing concept at first because Leo was programmed to receive orders, not think independently, but he caught on quickly and now couldn’t help but reciprocate the same treatment to XV.

“Sure,” XV responded. “That’s why you me made, isn’t it?”

Leo pondered his suggestion shortly, calculating the percentage of success if he were to try again, but since he only had one recorded reference he couldn’t foretell the chances. I might as well try again, he concluded, to track the results at least.

Leo gave a hesitant nod, but smiled. XV returned a dimpled grin of his own.

DAY 401

Leo began losing hope. Nothing he tried was working; he tried transplanting the memory chip from Hongbin’s invention again, protecting the material with a powerful algorithm, but that didn’t work. He then tried changing chips, alternating between different versions and types, none of which proved useful either. He even went on to perform an intrusive surgery on XV’s brain, while on OFF mode and when awake, but in vain. Leo then wished he could somehow have harvested some part of the professor’s brain at the hospital to infuse with XV’s brain, but it was a lost cause now.

He wanted to give up, and XV seemed to notice. As Leo’s mood darkened, XV was more chipper than ever, and Leo was unnerved. XV was a social droid, was it possible he didn’t pick up on how distraught Leo was? But then it occurred to him- XV was trying to cheer him up. He would ask him seemingly random questions, like what his favorite color was (“if you can have one”), would he ever consider dyeing his hair or getting a tattoo (“If you can”)… it was annoying at first, until it wasn’t anymore. Leo knew that humans loved to talk about themselves as they held a sense of self awareness that androids did not possess, and XV for the longest time forgot that he wasn’t talking to a human. But as time progressed it seemed that XV learned to redirect his questions, the same way Leo grew accustomed to Hongbin’s silence, and the same way he learned to accept his chatterbox companion droid and his restless tongue. Soon enough they were able to hold an actual conversation.

“What was your Hongbin like?” XV asked one day.

Leo scowled at the monitor he was currently staring at. XV sat beside him on a stool with a black cable plugged into the back of his neck on one side, and to the computer on the other. Leo had been typing away rapidly for twenty minutes now, and it seemed that XV got bored.

“Is that a rhetorical question?” After all, Leo had shown him every bit and piece of information he held about the professor. Clearly that was an inappropriate inquiry. But he did like the way he said “your Hongbin”.

“Let me rephrase it,” XV tried to simplify. “What was the nature of your relationship? I mean, he was your master and all, but he didn’t identify as one… so what was he to you?”

“You’re the robotic socialite; you’re supposed to know more than anyone.”

XV chuckled, though Leo wasn’t kidding.

“Well, let’s try to break it down.” He suggested. “My model has four settings: fatherly figure, brotherly guardian, friendly accomplice, and romantic companion. We can rule out the father and brother, so that leaves us with the last two.”

Leo was only mildly distracted from his work, but not enough to cease the conversation altogether.

“What is the difference between a friendly accomplice and a romantic companion?” He asked, eyes still glued to the rows upon rows of code words and encryptions.

“A friend is more casual than a lover, but otherwise both depend on a certain level of fondness.” XV replied, as if he was reading it from a script.

Leo knew that for humans, a romantic partner is a nicer word for mate, which was sometimes the main purpose of said relationships, but clearly that wasn’t the case for two androids. Though now Leo was left to ponder why a human might enjoy having a non-human partner as a romantic companion.

“So what do lovers do that friends don’t?” For all he knew, friends could be used for procreation as well… but what about androids?

“Well, they kiss, for starters… What?” XV turned to look at Leo who began shaking his head beside him.

“That not it.” He said. “That’s not what we were like.”

“Did you want to be?” XV went on to ask.

“I… I don’t know.” And he really didn’t. Leo didn’t even know if he was capable of love, not to mention performing acts that carry out that sentiment.

“You’ll never know if you never try, right?” Now Leo was intrigued. He turned away from the screen to meet XV’s kind grin beside him. “Here, let me know what you think of this.”

And with that, XV leaned in and connected his lips with Leo’s. He noted that XV closed his eyes right before their mouths met, which was strange because this didn’t seem like an action that required the lack of sight. But he then noted how soft XV’s lips were, and warm… much warmer than his own, it seemed. He felt XV’s eyelashes press against his cheek, and a lingering breath hovered over his skin almost unnoticeably. XV backed away shortly, and Leo was left with some moisture on his lower lip that wasn’t there before. If he hadn’t known any better, it would have seemed that he was kissed by a human.

“Well?” XV urged, not unkindly.

“I don’t know.” He said again. It was an entirely different level of skin contact than he’s used to, but it wasn’t unpleasant. Leo understood that this gesture was too intimate for the relationship he and the professor shared, but it didn’t feel bad; just different.

“You think about it then.” XV smiled, and returned to look over Leo’s shoulder at the small typing on the monitor.

And Leo did, very hard.

DAY 414

XV wasn’t anything like the professor. Leo would have thought that that fact would have had driven him crazy by now, but it didn’t.

The experimentation continued, but Leo was growing closer to ticking off every option on the list, and yet he wasn’t feeling entirely remorseful about it. He certainly still missed Hongbin, but he didn’t object the presence of XV in the lab, despite his completely different nature.

He didn’t help out a lot, since his brain was built to contain mostly information about social behavior and humanoid nuisances, but XV was still pleasant to have around. He would talk about the world he has never actually seen and yet knew so much about- about what he would do if he were a brotherly guardian of a toddler, or a fatherly figure of an infant, and what the difference was between the two. He told him about the intricate ties that bind humans together, about the many different relationships they share and where he supposedly comes in. This was very different from the conversations Hongbin had with Leo, as they focused more on the analytical parts of life. XV on the other hand painted his imagery with such a wide range of emotions that Leo almost felt as if he was watching the world through Hongbin’s memory simulator again. He then realized that he liked it when XV rambled on the same way he liked it when Hongbin hummed as he worked. Both filled the silence in their own ways.

DAY 419

“Okay, this is the last time.” Leo announced.

XV was standing on the opposite side of the workstation where Leo was sitting. He gave Leo a curt nod and closed his eyes.

Leo wasn’t sure why exactly he decided to quit his efforts of restoring Hongbin’s—no, XV’s memory, but it was bound to happen. His countless experiments were coming out result less, and he felt bad for XV being his lab rat for his futile attempts. And yet it didn’t feel like failure. Leo came to think that perhaps he didn’t need XV to be Hongbin anymore, that perhaps he being himself was enough. But this thought frightened him. Was he beginning to forget the professor? Does this mean he won’t think about him anymore now that he’s been… replaced? Was he replacing Hongbin?

He shook his head, ridding of the troubling thoughts that suddenly invaded his mind, and the keyboard, activating the chip in XV’s mind one last time.

It wasn’t a dramatic reveal. There wasn’t a beep or a whirr to indicate that it worked, as there was none to indicate that it didn’t. When XV opened his eyes and looked at Leo apologetically, Leo found himself sighing in relief.

“What happens now?” XV broke the silence, his voice small in the vast laboratory.

The truth was that Leo had no clue. He had never actually considered the fact that he might not be able to “resurrect” the professor, and now that he was facing this reality… he didn’t know what to do.

“We’ll figure it out.” Leo responded. And it seemed to be the right thing to say because the worry in XV’s eyes softened ever so slightly.