I been walking around the campus for me to find a spot to study then I saw this guy who is playing basketball in the court at the back of the 5^th building of the school. I watched him play but it doesn’t interest me. As I look at this person I think I saw this guy. I angled my eyeglasses and figured out that it is kai. The idiot who always says he’s the best at everything . I turned my head away and walk straight ahead to the school garden but someone called may name and stopped. i familiarize the voice that I just heard and yes it s kai.

“ hey are you checking me out? Oooh wait do you have a crush on me too?” he said and laughed so hard.

“I’m not checking you out. First of all I hate you. Second, you’re such a player. third, you don’t about others feelings or should I say the other girls’ feelings for you. You’re nothing but a trash” I said to him.

I wanted to become someone. Someone that the others will love. I envy him because the girls are really crazy  for him. I envy him because he’s someone that people like, people want to be with, people who can hangout with him. I wanted to be like him. It’s just that past always hunts me down. I don’t want to be close to someone who will leave because I’m boring and most importantly because I’m too smart that I don’t time to spend time with friends. i’m having a hard time to heal myself from my past.

I erased everything in my head everything about my past. My past memories are a horror to me. Every time that there is a meeting between parents and teachers I hide somewhere else so I cant see those parents that are hugging their own child. I envy them for having a loving parents . I envy them that they have friends to tell some secrets that they have. I really envy them. I isolate myself from those students have a perfect life.

I leave kai alone and walked to the garden I sat there and read my books instead of slacking off like kai did. I heard some voices across my seat. Girls. They are chatting and laughing. Seeing them is a nightmare to me so I stood up and walk to find another place to stay. While I was walking to find some place to stay, someone throw a pebble at my head I turn around and there he is again the grim ripper of my life kai.

“ what do you want this time kai? I don’t want to play games with you.” I said but he went closer and closer to me until we’re inch away with each other. I can feel his hot breathe and the worst part is he’s leaning to me like he was going to kiss me. I closed my eyes tight and then I heard a loud laugh. I opened my eyes and saw kai was laughing at me. I felt being played all over again I hate being with played by the person who I hate the most. I didn’t do anything to him. why is he like this? Am I really weak? There is a tear fall from the left side of my cheek. I’m so embarrassed to react like that.

“HAHAHA  IT’S SO FUNNY THE MOMENT YOU CLOSED YOUR EYES HAHAHA DO YOU THINK I’M GOING TO KISS YOU? HAHAHA” he said while laughing.

“ I.. uh.. ahm….” I’m speechless  about it because he’s right. He’s not going to do  that I’m not even worth it.

“ YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS REALLY HAHAHA”  he said. I turned and walk away without a word. Tears are flowing over and over again. I should be used to it being played around, make fun off, it’s too much but I always handle it. But when it comes to kai I can’t handle myself to cry.

Next day.

I went to class and ignore everyone. I sat on my desk and remember everything happened yesterday . it hurts but I have to be stronger this time.

Someone knock on my desk so I turned my head to face this person. The grim ripper what an incidence he approach me with a concern look. Maybe he need something, I don’t know but I don’t want to face him I’m still embarrassed about yesterday.

“ ahmm.. I’m sorry I laughed at you I called you when you walked away” he said I cut him off.

“ its fine. Everything you said yesterday is true anyway” I turned my head to stare at the window.

I can feel still kai’s presence and I turned my head to see him. He’s still concerned about because of what he did yesterday.

“ you should go away I don’t want to have fights with your fangirls” I said and he walk away and went to the pile of girls at the other side of the room still glancing at my position.

I felt like crying so I went outside of the room fast. I run and run until I went to the garden and wipe my face with a handkerchief.

“ why did you run? Is there something wrong? Did I do something wrong again?” kai said and I turned around to face him. I can see that he ‘s really concern about me. what’s with him? He’s not like this? I don’t want anybody by my side. I know I’m okay. I’m used to every pain I receive in my life. I don’t want anybody to be worried about me. I’m not even worth it.

“nothing. It’s nothing. I just….just go away kai.” I said and turned around and walk away.

Walking away is the best solution I have in my life. forgetting or erasing some memories that I have is also one of my best solution so I wouldn’t worry about something.

 

i went to school to early so i can relax myself but suddenly someon hugged me from the back. as is struggle from the strong arms that wrapped around me it becomes tighter and tighter. 

"please stop struggling and let me hug you." i'm shocked about those words i heard not just the words but the voice . it's kai.

 

"kai please let go of me. i dont to be laughed at again." i sadi but i felt that his head shook sideways which means he doesn't want to let go of me.

"i'll let you go but bring me to your house." he said. 

"no, my parents doesn't want be disturbed so let go of me" i said.

" i know that you don't have any parents the only thing that you have is your parents company which is now that your the CEO of it" he said. it is impossible he knows something about me.

" i search your name in the internet because i wanted to know your achievements but the moment i clicked a page from the internet. i didn't know that your parents are dead and the only remains to you are the employees and the company. you isolate yourself to others because you envy them."

" enough i dont want to discuss this it is in the past. i moved on."

"no, you aren't. i can see it in your eyes. how about this hmm i can be you're friend. dont hesitate to approach whenever you have a problem" he said and i walk away without a word to say to him.