Song: Don’t You Worry by Lucy Rose (Power Filled Days AU, timing would be a year before the events in Power Filled Days' current timeline)

Pairing: Kaisoo

Word Count: ~1800

Suggested By: Cornerstone (I owe you something happy and fluffy, I'm working on it ^^)

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I love Jongin.  That’s something I’ve known for years. 

I also love the fact that he can teleport.  It’s truly a magical gift that has opened up the entire world to me in the most beautiful of ways.

However, that doesn’t mean I always love everything else that gives rise to.  Particularly the fact that when Jongin wants to be alone, you can’t find him, and that is a problem when, in instances like now, I need to find him because he really shouldn’t be alone right now, not when his mom just called to tell him that his dog passed away overnight. 

However, I can’t find him in our apartment, and Luhan can’t even hear him (I called to check), and that means that wherever Jongin is, it’s far away from here, far away from me, and like I said, that’s a problem right now given that I think I should be with him, but I shouldn’t be surprised.

Jongin has never liked to cry in front of other people, even me.  No, especially me because for some stupid reason over the years he’s decided that crying in front of me is unfair since I have to be more careful with my emotions, more controlled, and while there have been a few instances where he has forgotten this stupid rule, December of his Senior year of high school for example, it would seem that this is not one of those times.

It’s dumb really.  Just because I have to make sure my emotions don’t cause my powers to act up doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be with Jongin when he’s having a hard time.  I’d much rather be there for him like he’s always there for me, and besides, I’m very good at compartmentalizing the two at this point.  It wouldn’t be all that difficult.

However, convincing Jongin of this fact has to this point proven to be an elusive goal, which was frustrating because really, Jongin should have known by now that I could handle this.  

I let a sigh push past my lips as I stood in the center of the room, jumping when the phone in my hand suddenly vibrated with a message.

'It’s not just that he doesn’t think you can handle it.'

I stared at the phone for a few seconds, surprised, not understanding Luhan’s words until he added a few more.

'Like you said, Jongin doesn’t like crying in front of anyone.  And besides, didn’t you have a backup plan for when this happened again?'

I was hoping to save that for a more serious occasion.

'I think this qualifies.'

I nodded to myself as I clicked out of the messenger app and went into my contacts, tapping Jongin’s name and waiting as the phone began to dial, hoping that Jongin had at least opted to go some with cell towers, national or international, it didn’t matter, because I had the international roaming on Jongin’s phone, all I needed was the call to go through.

It took three tries, but on the third time, he finally, finally, picked up.  I didn’t let him speak first.

“Come home now.” 

As I heard a shaky breath about to respond, I hung up, and I waited.  He was going to come home first, and then we were going to talk, and then we were going to mourn, and then we were going to—

My thoughts cut off as Jongin appeared mere inches from where I stood.  He jumped slightly when he realized how close we were, nearly falling over backwards before I could manage to reach out a hand to stop his decent, but I managed it somehow.  Then I thought better of it.

I released Jongin’s hand and let him fall straight to the floor.

“Ow.  What was that for?”  Jongin asked as he remained on the floor, eyes wide in shock.

“That was for disappearing when I’ve told you not to.”

“I didn’t disappear, I just wanted some time to—“

“To be alone, without me, when you’re upset and hurting because you somehow think that is better, but it isn’t Jongin.  It really isn’t.”

Jongin blinked twice, surprised by my outburst.  I was too honestly.  I had thought I would come up with a way to say this much more eloquently, but apparently not because it was taking a lot more of my control than I had anticipated to not get really angry right now, even if Jongin had come home the second I had told him to. 

The second that thought crossed my mind, I let out a sigh.  He had come home when I told him to.  That counted for something.  I knelt down on the floor beside where Jongin now lay.  I place a hand on his shoulder before opening my mouth to try again.

“I’m sorry.”

Jongin blinked again before shaking his head.  “You weren’t the one who disappeared.”

I shook my head back.  “No, but I shouldn’t be yelling at you given the circumstances.”

Jongin sighed.  “Yes, you probably should.  You’ve told me before not to do this anymore.”

“I know, but.. I just really want to be with you right now.”  I sighed as I stopped talking and just looked at Jongin’s face.  It was rough.  His eyes were tinged a light pink, and I was fairly certain I could see the remnants of tear tracks on his face.  I didn’t like the sight of either. 

Jongin must have noticed my gaze because he was suddenly turning away, making it so I couldn’t see his face.  “But I don’t want you to see me like this.”

I nodded as Jongin’s words echoed Luhan’s from before, slowly coming to understand exactly what they meant because yeah, Jongin was always supposed to be strong.  He was supposed to be the one who helped me keep things together, not the other way around, but things can’t always be like that, not all the time.

I let another sigh fall past my lips as I reached out my hands again, grabbing at Jongin’s shoulders, pulling him back towards me until his back was flush with my chest as I held him close. 

“What are you—“

“I can’t see you right now.  So go wherever you were and let’s just stay there for a while, alright?”

“I don’t think—“

“Please Jongin, just go.”

Jongin sighed, and I felt the familiar pull as he took us off, to where, I didn’t know.

When we stopped, I was surprised when I realized that I knew where we were.  We were at the same waterfall we’d been at so many times before.

“You were here?” I asked, surprised, and also somewhat relieved, I hadn’t really wanted to pay the international roaming fees that call would have cost me, but still, I hadn’t expected Jongin to be here of all places.

“I always go here.”  Jongin said softly, eyes on the water, voice quiet, barely audible.

“Why?” I asked, voice equally soft.

“Because, when I’m here, I feel like you’re here too because this is where I realized I was in love with you.”  

The words brought me back to that day all those years ago.  That day when my entire life was irrevocably changed.  It made me hold onto Jongin tighter.

“Always?”  I asked softly, understanding now that he had always been going to me, in a way.

“Always.”  He said quietly as his body trembled slightly.

I squeezed even tighter, as I sought out other things to talk about.  “That means I’m going to have to kill Luhan.”

“Why?”  Jongin asked, with a laugh.  I ignored how it sounded half broken.

“Because, he would have known that.  He could have told me.”

“He told you to call, didn’t he?”

“Of course he did, but he implied that I’d be sacrificing my secret weapon.”

“Secret weapon?”  Jongin asked, speaking through tears that had definitely begun to fall again.

 “I added international roaming to your phone.”  I admitted.

“Isn’t that really expensive?”  Jongin asked with another half real laugh.

“Only if you use it.” I supplied simply.

Jongin nodded, clearly no longer trusting his voice with more words, body bending forward slightly.  I followed after, staying close with my arms around his waist and my head against his back as I waited for his body to stop shaking.

It finally did, although it took a while.  Jongin took in an unsteady breath before he spoke out.  “It’s not like I didn’t know this was coming.  I don’t know why I’m so upset about this.”

I turned my head, resting my ear against his back, listening to the steady beat of his heart.  “You loved him.  Of course you’re going to be upset.”

“Yeah, but it’s annoying.”  Jongin replied, wiping at his nose with his hands.

I laughed.  “It’s what makes you human.”

“Well, being human right now.”  Jongin said.

I nodded, heart clenching at the tone of his voice.  “Is there anything else I can do to make it better?”

Jongin sighed.  “Can you let go?”

“Jongin.”  I whined.  I didn’t want to let him go.  I didn’t want to let him go anywhere.

“I just want to turn around.”  Jongin said gently.

“You want to turn around?”  I asked, surprised.

Jongin nodded. “Yeah, I do.  So please?”

“Okay.”  I slowly unclasped my arms, letting them fall away from his sides as he pulled away slightly to turn around, his face still towards the ground.  I waited as he took another steadying breath before he raised his face up, eyes meeting mine.

“Hey,” I said gently.

“Hey,” Jongin said back, a tiny smile on his face even as it was still shadowed by tears.

I raised my hands to wipe them away, causing Jongin to let out another shaking breath as my thumbs wiped across his cheeks before drawing his face down towards mine, kissing him gently.

“Isn’t this better than being alone?” I asked as I pulled my lips back, our noses still touching.

Jongin laughed softly.  “A little bit, but it’s weird.”

“Good weird?”  I asked, hopeful that I may have succeeded in convincing Jongin that not physically avoiding me when he was upset was better for him.

“Good weird.”  He confirmed, voice still soft.

“Could you try to remember that next time too?” 

“I’ll try.”  Jongin promised before leaning forward to meet my lips again in another slow and unhurried touch as he sought more comfort in the intimate contact.

When that kiss broke off, I waited a couple more beats before I asked my next question.  “Are you ready to go?”  Because we still had so many more things to do, and they were all going to be hard, and I wasn’t sure Jongin was ready yet, but I shouldn’t have underestimated him. 

“As long as you go with me.”

Those were the words I wanted to hear at all times in these situations, not that I hoped that these situations would happen often, and so I only had a single word to say to that.

“Always.”

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