“I don’t think I would be going…” Jaejoong muttered as he and Yunho walked along the pathway. It was an autumn morning and the dried leaves falling from the trees rustled to the two boys’ shoes as they fiddled their way to the entrance of the university.

 

“But whyyy?” Yunho whined in a cute manner as he grabbed both sides of Jaejoong’s shoulders to halt the smaller boy from walking.

 

“I don’t feel like going. It’s just going to be a cold and rough hike.” He answered thoughtfully as he stared at the puff of breath coming out from his own mouth.

 

“No! No! No! I want you to come! You should come!” Yunho shook the shorter man's shoulder and Jaejoong stared at the cute pout and the scrunched eyebrows. He can only laugh at the adorable 19 year old boy in front of him.

 

“Okay. Okay. If that will make you stop from all of these unnecessary whining then I’ll go.” The raven-haired can only sigh in defeat as he watched Yunho jump up and down like a toddler given a candy.

 

+++

 

The cold autumn air made Jaejoong sneeze and he instantly regretted leaving his coat despite of his mom’s reminder of bringing it with him. He can sense that winter will be approaching soon enough and he’s mentally scoffing at the stupidity of the organizers of this camp event. Why do it when it’s almost winter? He asked in his mind. Why did he even go here in the first place? Oh right, because of this certain someone named Jung Yunho. That 19 year old toddler that he had secretly loved ever since middle school. He was one of Jaejoong’s ‘bestfriend’ together with Junsu, Changmin, and Yoochun. It was only the two of them who are admitted at the same school in Adjeong University, the rest of their friends are on different universities. Yunho was able to gain a scholarship while for Jaejoong...well. He so did not entered Adjeong because Yunho was admitted there. He so did not.

 

He can still remember when and where he started harboring feelings with one of his bestfriends. It was his fourteenth birthday that time, and the five of them were hanging out as usual. They went to arcades, had a booze, and some things boys normally do. When they were all at Jaejoong’s home, the boys presented their gifts one by one. Junsu gave a dolphin plushie and a camera (which Jaejoong really wanted that time), Yoochun gave him a gameboy, and Changmin was the one to gift him a whole stack of Harry Potter hardbound collection. When it was Yunho’s turn, however, that boy was really nervous. It was known to them that Yunho was not really that well off like them but they still kept him as a close friend despite the status gap. Yunho handed him a small wooden trinket box with shaking hands and a nervous, crooked-teeth smile. When Jaejoong opened it, there inside was a handmade bracelet with two letter J blocks inserted. It might be the most inexpensive gift he had received that day but the happiness that got his heart thumping loudly was definitely something that cannot be bought by anything that is of money’s worth. Jaejoong raised his head to see a 13 year old Yunho looking like he experienced all the humiliations in the world. He tugged the younger boy’s wrist and gave his widest smile.

 

“This is really beautiful. Thank you.” Those words put the brunette in relief as he uttered some gibberish which was supposed to be “You’re welcome.”

 

Before Jaejoong could decipher what Yunho actually said, a big,warm hug enveloped him and the birthday boy realized that time that damn, he was starting to feel attraction, with this crooked-teeth boy named Jung Yunho.

 

+++

 

“Uh, Jaejoong-ah? Jaejoong-ah! Are you going to stand there forever? We’re leaving.” Kyuhyun shook his shoulders rather harshly and he was back from his daydreaming.

 

“Hey! You bastard! Wait up.” The raven haired boy ran and entered the bus with Kyuhyun leading him. He immediately spotted Yunho and his feet ran to Yunho’s direction but was put into halt when he spotted a certain beside his Jung Yunho.

 

Go Ara. She was Yunho’s girlfriend for 2 months, 17 days, 30 minutes, and 5 seconds now. It was not that he did not like her, but he really did not like her. It did not help knowing that the is actually their college’s student council vice president. Ever since that girl came by, Yunho had neglected him for sometime. It even came to the point that Yunho failed to greet him back while they met on the hallway because he was with that who always wants Yunho’s attention all by herself. It resulted to Jaejoong’s unnecessary crying at night instead of studying for the upcoming midterms. All in all, he hated that that he decided to just sit beside Kyuhyun instead of approaching Yunho.

 

+++

 

“Dang. So cold.” Kyuhyun fiddled the A/C above him but it did not budge at all.

 

“Why what’s wrong?” Jaejoong absent mindedly asked him as he took out his snacks from his bag.

 

“The A/C is broken. I can’t turn it off. It’s freaking cold.” Kyuhyun replied as he continued on finding ways to turn the thing off.

 

“Ha!” Jaejoong scoffed. “That’s what you get for fighting for that seat by the window.”

 

“That’s it. I’m gonna seat with Shindong. I can’t handle this cold.” Kyuhyun hurriedly stood up and went to the back of the bus and sat beside Shindong.

 

“That bastard. Leaving me alone in here.” The raven-haired sat by the window and twiddled the A/C which was supposed to be broken. He found an adjuster at the top of the A/C, on which he thought Kyuhyun failed to find, and set the temperature lower.

 

“That stupid Kyuhyun.” He snickered in laughter and stuffed his mouth with more chips.

 

“Hey Jae.” Someone sat beside him and Jaejoong need not to turn around to know who is beside him. He stuffed more chips in his mouth and spoke.

 

“So how’s the ? Where did she go?” He absent-mindedly said while munching chips.

 

“Huh? What did you say?” Yunho looks at him in absolute confusion.

 

“I mean...uh...Why did you go here? Aren’t you sitting with Ara? I saw her with you earlier.”

 

“Oh, she’s not on our bus. She just came by to check on the students. I feel so lonely on my seat so I came here to sit beside you. Aren’t you happpppppyyy?” Yunho huddled closer to Jaejoong while explaining.

 

“Happy your face.” Jaejoong sneered but can’t help the smile tugging his slips as Yunho sat comfortably beside him. He fed the boy some chips and Yunho happily let himself be fed.

 

+++

 

The travel was rough but the two boys managed to sleep comfortably in each other’s arms. It was Jaejoong who woke up first and the first thing that he noticed was Yunho’s head resting on his shoulders. He recalled waking up in this kind of position before. It was the morning after the five of them celebrated the end of school semester with some drinks. He woke up with Yunho resting on his shoulder.  Jaejoong lightened up at the memory. He also remembered the dream he had where he had confessed to Yunho and kissed him. The wet feeling on his shoulders woke him up from his reverie. It did not take him a second to realize that Yunho’s drool is soaking his shirt.

 

“You fool. If not for the reason that I like you so much, I would have kicked you out for drooling on my shirt.” He let out a faint chuckle and decided to just watch the sceneries outside the window while waiting for their arrival to the camp.

 

+++

 

“Hey Yun. We’re here. Wake up, sleepyhead.” Yunho woke up with a ball of tissue beside his mouth. His eyelids are still heavy but the voice waking him up is urging him to open his eyes.

 

“Where are we?” He rubbed his eyes and glanced at Jaejoong who was busy arranging his things.

 

“We arrived at the camp. Do you know how much I have to suffer because of you? You sleeping fool! You better carry my things or I’m going to upload this on sns!” Jaejoong shoved his phone in front of Yunho’s face and photos of Yunho scandalously sleeping with an open mouth and some saliva drooping from the side. The brunette was rendered awake after seeing his disturbing photo.

 

“Hey! Not fair! Delete that now!” Yunho worriedly grabbed the phone but Jaejoong was quick on moving. Jaejoong let out a giggle before placing it securely on his jeans.

 

“Alright. I won’t upload it if you’re going to bring my things!” He patted the two large bags and pushed it to Yunho.

 

“I hate you!” The brunette pouted but took the two bags anyway.

 

“Aww I love you too.” Jaejoong laughed merrily as he followed behind the taller guy.

 

+++

 

It was almost dusk when the boys decided to set up the tents and bonfire. It took them almost an hour to settle down and by night time, they were all huddled together, encircling the large bonfire they made.

 

“Hey, have you seen Jaejoong?” Yunho asked Sungmin, who was sitting beside him.

 

“Nope. He’s probably peeing somewhere.” Sungmin replied. Yunho just nodded it off.

 

“Hey guys, we’re gonna hang out on the other camp. We’ll be back soon.” One of their campmates announced. Soon enough, almost quarter of the group members went to see the other camp leaving only a handful of people by the bonfire.

 

“Hey. I’m going to smoke for a while.” Sungmin stood up.

 

“Let me join you!” Shindong ran to Sungmin and took out a pack of cigarette from his pocket.

 

“Come on guys! Wanna join?” Sungmin offered and everyone went with him, leaving Yunho alone by himself.

 

Yunho warmed up his hands and face while waiting for the others to be back. He gazed up at the sky and realized that the stars twinkling above is something that he had failed to notice for a long time. He have been too busy with things that he fail to take notice of this simple things. He was in a solemn state when a finger poked his side, startling him.

 

“Who the is that?!” Yunho cursed and turned around, only to see an all smiling Jaejoong in front of him.

 

“Hehe. Where are the others? I was calling your name but you were too busy staring at nothingness.” Jaejoong sat beside him and placed his hands in front of the fire to warm himself up.

 

“They went somewhere. How about you? Where have you been?” The brunette replied. He passed a stick of marshmallows to Jaejoong and they roasted it on the fire.

 

“Oh, I was fixing my things inside the tent and went to pee.” Jaejoong answered while keeping his eyes on the melting marshmallow. There was a moment of silence before Yunho spoke.

 

“Have you seen those?” Yunho stared at the blanket of stars as he ate his roasted marshmallows.

 

“What?” Jaejoong glanced to Yunho who was looking upwards. He turned his head to the sky and together, they appreciated the beauty of the night.

 

“Look at the moon. It’s really pretty.” Yunho suddenly said.

 

“You’re right. I wish I’ve looked at the skies more often. It’s really relaxing.”

 

“Yeah. We should do this together if we have time.”

 

“Yeah, we should.” Jaejoong nodded his head in agreement but kept his eyes above.

 

“Jae.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Do you still like me?”

 

“Huh?!” Jaejoong almost fell on the log they were seating. He did not expect that question at all. He even thought that he had heard it wrong.

 

“What are you talking about?” The raven suddenly felt alarmed.

 

“Jeez. Calm down.” Yunho stared at him and broke in a merry laugh.

 

“Wha..What did yo..you say? I think I heard it wrong.” The smaller boy gulped and fiddled on his seat.

 

“I’m asking you if you still have feelings for me.” And by all means, he did not hear it wrong. Jung Yunho was  really asking him if he still have feelings for him. Jaejoong coughed and calmed himself before answering.

 

“Haha. What made you say that? Are you out of your mind?” Jaejoong kept his cool but inside, he was panicking like hell.

 

“Well. I remember that you actually confessed to me when we hang out last time with the boys.” Jaejoong cannot remember anything. Yunho continued on narrating what happened.

 

“You were pretty wasted that time.” Yunho had a distant look in his eyes while recalling the event. A playful smile plastered on his face.

 

“On your last shot, you suddenly sat on my lap. Only Changmin and I were sober that time. Yoochun and Junsu were already drunk and asleep.” Jaejoong was sweating as the flashbacks came back to him on what happened that night. He thought it was just a dream that time. He had been wrong.

 

“Then you said. “You know what Yunnie? I really, really love you.” I was about to laugh that time because you look really funny and childlike, but then you kissed me. That was really crazy, you know.” Jaejoong closed his eyes. Flashbacks kept coming back to him. He really thought that was only a dream. Nobody even mentioned those things to him on the morning. The brunette’s eyes were still far away, like he was remembering some really pleasant things.

 

“I...I’m sorry.” That was all Jaejoong could utter.

 

“Why are you sorry? Do you regret it?” Yunho was back on his consciousness. He suddenly felt empty. He doesn’t want Jaejoong to regret what he did. Not right now. Not when he already had the courage to face everything he feared that time.

 

“You were probably disgus--” “I wasn’t!” Yunho stopped Jaejoong from continuing. Yunho knew he will never be disgusted with this. Jaejoong is not someone to be disgusted at.

 

“I...I don’t know what to say.” A stretch of silence enveloped them. Nobody dared to talk. Only the sound of the flicks of fire and rustle of leaves can be heard.

 

Everything that is happening right now made Jaejoong feel like he was floating. His heart was beating too fast. He thought that he had hidden it so well. He was wrong. The raven breathed in and out, allowing some air to calm his panicking state. It was probably time to face all his fears right now. It’s now or never.

 

“Alright. I should just be honest right now.” Jaejoong broke the solitude and faced Yunho who just nodded at him.

 

“Those things that I said that night. I really mean it.” He failed to notice the sigh of relief coming from Yunho.

 

“I really like--love you until now Yunho. I know that what I am feeling is totally wrong, but I don’t want to hold it back anymore. I just wanted to keep our precious friendship of ours in this lifetime. I don’t want it to be ruined because of some petty feelings of mine.” Jaejoong stifled a sob as tears started pouring from his eyes. He did not know if this will be the end of their friendship or whatnot. He knows that Yunho will never love him back, but when a warm body embraced him with all its might, he felt that things might be possible for them.

 

“Shh… Don’t cry Jaejoongie. I’m sorry for being afraid. I did not know that you felt that way for me.. You’re precious to me, Jaejoong-ah. Don’t ever think that way again.” Yunho broke the embrace and wiped Jaejoong’s tears with his thumb. He gave the sobbing boy a kiss on the forehead and held his hands.

 

“Hey, I’m already sick of keeping it from you. I love you Jaejoong-ah. I really do.” Yunho smiled at Jaejoong gave the hands he was holding a kiss.

 

“You...You already have a girlfriend.” Jaejoong thought that he was dreaming. His heart was bursting with joy but his doubt that all of these are not real were still trying him out. Yunho chuckled and patted Jaejoong’s head.

 

“We’ve broken up already. I never had feelings for her. I just acted without thinking that time when Ara and I became together. I was so confused when you confessed to me that night. I did not want our friendship to end too. I thought that if you see that I already have a girlfriend, you will stop yourself from having feelings for me and our friendship will never be at stake again. Ara is such an understanding girl. I confessed everything to her and she said that I should not be afraid of my own feelings. I realized that I feel the same way. I was just mistaking it as some overly attached friendly feelings.” Yunho explained to him. A huge burden was lifted from the two. Jaejoong broke a smile.

 

“If that’s the case, then I love you! I love you! I love you!” The smaller boy embraced the other tightly and they both enjoyed a warm hug.

 

“Mhmm. I love you too Joongie. Can I have a kiss now?” Yunho grinned at him and both of them laughed.

 

“Sure, sure.” Jaejoong closed his eyes and let himself be led. Soft lips met his and together they shared each other’s warmth under the moonlight and the stars.