It was rather normal to admire the other’s beauty without saying a word. From time to time, only two or three words would spill and interrupt the lingering silence. They loved each other dearly and did not doubt the passion and devotion they both shared. However, something unpleasant waited to take it all away without them realizing it. It brought unwanted feelings of anger and they both were afraid. They were afraid of themselves—they were afraid of each other.

Despite how light he was, Hyunseung settled his weight onto Junhyung’s lap with caution. He had arms wrapped around his slim waist with his body giving off an aromatic scent. They sat on the crimson couch without any words being exchanged. The whole apartment, every inch of the rooms, were dead. However, there were bright ceiling lights that gave them a sense of life.

Hyunseung’s hand played with his lover’s soft brown locks. Junhyung couldn’t help but to smile upon the touch. How he loved it when Hyunseung was curious about something. His eyes said it all. The small touches then moved downward towards the plump pink lips. Hyunseung smiled back and connected the two without leaving a damn space empty. It was a sweet kiss. A sweet kiss that Junhyung disliked since he much preferably considered a more rough one. Not satisfied, he broke the kiss which caused Hyunseung to frown.

“I thought if I did it more often, you would like it better.” Hyunseung said in a sarcastic tone. Junhyung chuckled at his boyfriend and watched as Hyunseung stood up, a hand reaching out. Their hands fit perfectly together like some sort of puzzle and they knew it all too well. With a quick guide and a few motions, they left to get some rest.

It wasn’t long before Hyunseung fell asleep. Having the warmth radiate from Junhyung’s body was enough to keep him content even when there were loud banging noises from those next door.

"Do you really think he loves you?"

"Yes, I do."

"Well, wake up and understand what is real. He only despises you, he only loathes you."

"That's not true."

"What a pity, I guess he already convinced you with his unruly lies, am I correct?

Hyunseung sat up from the bed and sighed with relief. The sudden movement awoke Junhyung. He stared into the dark, trying to find Hyunseung with the little light shining through the window. He reached his hand and felt Hyunseung’s temperature in case he was having nightmares because of a fever. Hyunseung laid back down and circled his thumb on Junhyung’s exposed cheek, a sign to tell him that he was alright. With this, they both fell asleep again that night.

The sun alarmed Hyunseung, making him crack open his eyes from the yellow beam. Usually it was warm when he woke up, but now it felt unpleasantly cold. He turned around in excitement to see Junhyung’s tired smile, but it wasn’t there. He sat up quickly and with the energy he had left, he searched the apartment. Nothing, every room was empty and there was no sign of Junhyung. The pace of his breath rose. Hyunseung sat at the edge of the couch and thought about the strange voice he had heard in his sleep.

He couldn’t help it anymore. Hyunseung was starting to assume the worse and was starting to listen to it. Junhyung left him, that was exactly how Hyunseung thought. It was early in the morning and he didn’t know how long he has been alone. If it was that cold, he probably left hours before. He started connecting things at the wrong places. It made sense to Hyunseung, but really, it does not at all.

The front door opened and keys were clinging against each other. Hyunseung stood up and took a closer look, in hopes that it was Junhyung. Indeed it was, Junhyung was holding the house keys with his teeth. His hands were full from large plastic bags as he walked over to the counter. They locked their eyes and never looked away. Junhyung gave Hyunseung the tired smile that he had missed in bed. He raised both his arms to show that he left to buy sweet ingredients to prepare breakfast. To this, Hyunseung thought it was natural to overthink things.

They ate quietly like always. The sound of forks scraping against the ceramic plate irritated their ears, but what could be done? It was part of their daily routine. Even if they were to say something, it would just be seen as odd.

“You really do love me, right?” And odd it was. Hyunseung traced the edge of his plate with his fork while Junhyung gave him a questioning look.

“We have been dating for years now and you have never asked that before.” Junhyung chewed his food slowly. “Why ask now?”

“I was just curious.” Hyunseung placed his fork in the center of his plate and abruptly stood up .

“That’s the weird part. You were never curious about that.” Junhyung watched Hyunseung throw the leftovers, which he usually finishes, into the trashcan. He sighed, clearly not understanding the situation that was happening between them. “What’s wrong? Why are you acting like this?”

“I’m not acting like anything and just being myself.” Hyunseung grabbed the plate from Junhyung’s hands and began rinsing the stained glass. Junhyung could only watch with sorrow. He didn’t know what was happening, as if it was all his fault. He walked out of the kitchen and made his way to their bedroom. He planned on doing the laundry so that Hyunseung didn’t have to struggle with the horrid stench.

"He's losing interest in you."

"No, he's not."

"Why say that so confidently?"

"We've done everything together. If he didn't love me, he would have left me a long time ago."

"Who knows, maybe the feelings were lies. He was probably planning to take something away from you."

"Like what?"

"That's for you to find out."

Junhyung picked up the forgotten clothes scattered on the ground and stared out the door. It was wide open so he had a perfect view of Hyunseung’s back. He liked seeing Hyunseung do the dishes. It made him look more feminine than usual, but it was probably just his .

Junhyung placed the clothes in the small laundry basket and carried it into the cramped room just next to where they slept. Although there wasn’t much room to move, it was doable enough for clean shirts and jeans. He set the timer, poured in the detergent, and the clothes were placed inside one by one. The basket was placed on top of the washing machine and Junhyung moved out into a room with more space from the left and right. Just being in the laundry room for a minute gave Junhyung a few sores.

Hyunseung was under the bedsheets. His head was slightly peeking out and Junhyung noticed the lost strands sticking in all sorts of directions. His body left a pressure at the top corner of the bed. Junhyung ran his slick fingers through Hyunseung’s hair and had a sudden rush in his cheeks. It was similar to the one when he met Hyunseung for the first time.

The day went by fast. The two didn’t do much and it wasn’t surprising at all. Junhyung was still confused and curious about Hyunseung’s strange behaviour. He never got to ask about it again, quite frankly because he knew Hyunseung wouldn’t respond back and answer with honesty.

"He was trying to distract you."

"He was just asking. I would have asked the same questions if he suddenly wondered if I love him."

"That love of yours was testing you. If you were to answer all those pointless questions that came out of his mouth, he would have used it as an advantage against you."

"I don't see how he can do that."

"What else can he do but to hide his ongoing affair with Hara?"

"Hara, they ended their relationship years ago. There is no possible way that they could keep in touch after that."

"You are too attached, loosen up a little bit. He loves you is what you want to believe, or do believe. Ever considered that he only kisses you and held you close so that you wouldn't question about her?"

"Stop it."

"Ever considered that he only showed you love so that he could distract you whenever he left the house? Left the house to show the same exact love that you were given too?"

"I said stop it. Cut it out."

Junhyung leaned against the wall as he covered himself with the blanket to keep out the cold. The room was darker than the last time he saw it. It made him even more tired and his head kept on drooping from all directions. Hyunseung was beside him. If he didn’t sleep then Junhyung had no reason to either.

His shoulder was just barely touching Junhyung’s own flesh. It was there, the space between his neck down to his smooth arms was just unoccupied. Junhyung rested his head to fill the space and breathed out slowly. It was comfortable, very comfortable. They stayed in that position until they fell asleep.

Their anniversary was just around the corner. They don’t go all out with high class champagne and certainly do not have rough in the middle of the night. It wasn’t like them to do crazy things like that. They were more likely to go out and eat at their most memorable place. It was the restaurant they first expressed their love for each other. It must have been weird, but it was the first thing they thought of since both their parents kept telling them to leave the door wide open whenever they invited each other over. Going to a restaurant was the least rated place to have pleasurable anyways according to Hyunseung’s mom. Yet, she still suggested them to go somewhere with crowded old people. Of course he didn’t listen and just left the house.

Hyunseung poured hot chocolate carefully into two ghost white cups. He was wary about the overflow of the scorching water as he walked over to the couch. He placed them on top of coasters whose shapes came out as squares. He seated himself and stared blankly at Junhyung.

“Our anniversary is coming up.” Hyunseung broke the contact and eyed the ground.

“Yeah, I already know that. In fact, I’ve been knowing that because I keep damn good track of it.” It was ridiculous and Hyunseung knew what his lover was thinking.

“You’re going to spend it with me, right?” Then, Junhyung sighed. It wasn’t a sigh of happiness or a sigh of sadness. It was plain annoyance and it was a sign that Junhyung was getting angry. Hyunseung wanted to stop asking questions, but he just couldn’t.

"Don't stop. Get the truth out of him."

“You’re going to spend it with me and not Hara, right?” Junhyung could only stare at Hyunseung in shock. He had no clue that he would bring her up like that. It’s been three, four, no, its been six years already.

"Seems like he doesn't trust you anymore, Junhyung."

“What if I don’t? What happens if I leave you behind like trash and go to her instead?” Junhyung noticed Hyunseung’s hands clutching onto the hem of his own shirt.

“You wouldn’t do that.”

Junhyung furrowed his eyebrows and scoffed. “Then why do you keep asking me these unnecessary questions? Did you want me to say ‘no, I will stay with you forever’ like I’ve always been doing so that you can take something precious away from me? What? What is it that you are planning, Hyunseung?”

“Take something precious away from you? What are you talking about?”

"Seems like he doesn't trust you anymore, Hyunseung."

“You’re going to accuse me of something like that?” Hyunseung raises his voice.

“I’m not accusing you of anything! I was just simply asking out of curiosity!”

“You were simply yelling out of curiosity.” Hyunseung corrected his angry boyfriend.

“You are one big freak, Hyunseung. You really are.”

They haven’t been talking to each other for two straight days and this included physical contact too. Junhyung has been leaving the house more often and Hyunseung has been staying in bed all day. They were distancing themselves more than they should have.

"Just leave him."

"You're scaring me."

"How is it possible to scare yourself?"

"What do you mean myself?"

"Just leave him."

"You're avoiding the question."

"Not me, you are."

Hyunseung stared, looking unamused at the closed door. Junhyung said if he left the door open, Hyunseung might gag every single time he saw his lover passing by. Hyunseung wanted to cry. He wanted to cry so badly because of the fear that he might lose Junhyung. It felt like he was possessed by someone else and not acting like himself. It was as if a voice was telling him to do things automatically. His lips and hands were shaking nonstop. In an instant, Hyunseung covered both his ears and cried out loudly.

“Please don’t leave me! Please don’t leave me, Junhyung!” The loud sobbing echoed in the room. “I love you so much! You can’t leave me, please.”

Junhyung closed the door quickly and breathed hot air into his hands. A striped scarf wrapped nicely around his neck and a black peacoat showed his great sophistication. He took off his shoes and a huge smile appeared on his face. Just as he was about to walk in, he saw a pair of eyes filled with fury and jealousy.

“You better not have been out with, Hara.” Those were the first in days that Hyunseung spoke to Junhyung.

“Why are you still on that? Why do you suddenly not trust me anymore?” Junhyung asked calmly.

"He's hiding something."

“You’re hiding something.” Hyunseung strongly accuses.

“Hyunseung, it’s our anniversary today. I don’t want to have an argument with you on such an important day.”

“I’m sorry.” Hyunseung processed the words that were said to him. He apologized shortly after and watched as Junhyung stepped closer towards him.

"He doesn't mean it."

“You don’t really mean it.” Junhyung shoved his hands into the sewn pockets of his coat. He was fiddling with something as if it was a surprise.

“I know I’ve been acting strangely and haven’t been myself for the pass few days, but you can’t deny that you’ve been like that too.” Hyunseung eyed Junhyung’s hands intently. He raised an eyebrow and before he could say anything, Junhyung beat him to it.

“It’s a present, an anniversary present for you.” A black box was tightly wrapped by Junhyung’s hands. “I wanted to give it to you right when I got home, but we started arguing. It wasn’t the right time, but I guess there won’t be.”

“Junhyung.” Hyunseung’s voice softened. He picked up the box when Junhyung gave the opportunity to grab it. Hyunseung opened it slowly, trying to prevent anything from falling out. A silver necklace with the letter ‘h’ hung in the middle. It was simple but elegant with all the small diamonds filling the spaces of the letter.

"A little letter 'h' that represents Hara's first initial. How surprising."

“Hara.” Hyunseung pulled the necklace out without thinking how fragile it was. The chain snapped and Junhyung widened his eyes in shock.

"You're being jailed up. Has he always been this possessive with you?"

“What do you think you’re doing!” Junhyung stared at the loose chains scattered on the ground. “Why do you not trust me? You can stop being so possessive because you already have me! For God’s sake, Hyunseung!”

“It’s not like I’m taking your freedom away like some prisoner! You keep leaving the house suspiciously and it makes me assume things.” Hyunseung dropped his arms beside him.

“Fine! I’m tired of this. I really am, Hyunseung.” Junhyung knelt on the wooden floor and picked up the small chains that fell.

"He wants to breakup."

“You’re breaking up with me.” Hyunseung stepped back as more pointless thoughts projected into his mind. The box fell from Hyunseung’s hand, catching Junhyung’s attention.

“Hyunseung!” The chains fell once again as Junhyung grabbed his boyfriend’s arm. “I didn’t say that. That’s not what I meant. Please! Please!”

“Let me go!” Hyunseung brushed his shoulder against Junhyung’s as he walked away. He quickly secured the laces of his shoes and grabbed hold of the doorknob. Tears formed in his eyes as he opened the unlocked door.

“Please don’t leave me!” Junhyung pleaded.

It was quite bright outside. Hyunseung walked through busy pedestrians who could only focus on getting to their desired destination. Only a couple steps left, Hyunseung stopped his tracks and looked straight ahead of him. It was the restaurant they held their date at. It was packed with hungry customers and it made Hyunseung smile. That place really did grow. He turned around and across from it was a bar or some sort of club. Junhyung liked to complain about how immature those people were and made sure Hyunseung got the point. He just couldn’t see someone like him to be walking around in those dark, scary places.

Hyunseung continued to stare at people conversing with drinks in their hands. He noticed some people having full make out sessions too. Not fully aware of what was going on, a hand grasped his own. Hyunseung jumped and turned out, expecting it to be Junhyung, but it wasn’t.

“You seem lost.” It was a stranger. A complete drunken stranger. The hands trailed down to Hyunseung’s shirt, making him feel uncomfortable.

“Stop.”

“No.” Their lips touched and it only came out as sour. Hyunseung fought to push the man away, but failed to. He could feel a tongue trying to slide in between his teeth. He was getting angry. Hyunseung clutched onto the broken necklace and with all his force, he pushed the man until he fell on his flat .

“I have a boyfriend!” Hyunseung cried out. “I love him with all my heart and I would do anything for him!”

"Watch your mouth."

"I don't want to."

“People like you are gross.” Hyunseung sniffed in the cold air that tickled his red nose. “People like you are immature just like he said.”

Hyunseung brought his hand up and stared at the necklace. He was wrong in so many ways and he knew that for a fact. He walked back the other direction, the same direction he came in before to go home. He missed his one and only, Junhyung, anyways.

Junhyung sat on the couch with his knees against his chest. He sobbed for the first time in years. The tears were filled with all sorts of feelings. He was angry and sad at the same time which only made his mental health worse. His eyes were already red and swollen. The crying just wouldn’t stop.

"He left you."

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm only helping you out."

"You're not helping. You're making everything worse."

"Not me, you are."

The door opened and Hyunseung walked in with guilt. He already knew Junhyung was on the couch and so he made his way over. With his hands closed, he brought his hand out towards Junhyung.

“Would you like to put it on me?” It was the necklace. The chain was newly replaced and no one knows for sure how Hyunseung managed to get it fixed. Junhyung laughed and cried at the same time. It hurt Hyunseung very badly. The necklace was gone and now between Junhyung’s fingers. He pulled Hyunseung into a hug as he hooked the clasp together. It was fastened around Hyunseung’s neck and he made sure it wouldn’t fall off.

Junhyung held Hyunseung’s warm body close to him. His head inched closer to the lonely lips and for a brief moment, there was a pause. Hyunseung expected a rough kiss, the one Junhyung liked very much, but he got the sweet and gentle kind instead. Their cracked lips parted and Junhyung clutched onto Hyunseung’s shirt as if his life was in mere danger.

“I love you. I love you so much, Hyunseung.” Junhyung aired his breath into Hyunseung’s ears.

“I love you too, Junhyung.”

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AUTHOR'S NOTE

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This doesn't really seem to fit Halloween, but I really did try -insert crying here-

Anyways, let's have a celebration for my achievement on writing more than six pages!  That's the highest I am able to write and I must say that it's very tiring. 

In conclusion, I want to thank you for reading this story and I hope you enjoy my other entries too! -heart heart heart-