"Don't you ever wish we'd tried?" Key said, looking up at the night sky.

"I wish it every day." Jonghyun whispered, sitting on the grass next to his best friend.

"It wouldn't have worked out, Jjong."

"I'd like to think it would've. I still think it would, I just regret not ever giving us a try."

Key couldn't help but look back on their past, all the heart ache they shared because they knew they were in love with each other.

Love was a wonderful, beautiful thing. It brought hope, new experiences, happiness, a sense of completion.

But for Jonghyun and Key, idols in South Korea, all they were given because of love was pain.

Meeting each other as trainees, getting to know each other as group mates, falling in love as best friends.

It was tough for them.

Living together for so many years, they got to know each other inside and out. There was nothing one didn't know about the other.

They were part of something beautiful for so long, they'd been near each other for so long, it was almost incomprehensible for one to be without the other.

But the time had come that they'd be forced to be away from each other.

Jonghyun was leaving.

Their leader was the first to go, now it was Jonghyun's turn.

SHINee, who was already missing their leader, had their last concert with Jonghyun a couple of nights before.

Just as they did for Onew on the three days before he left to begin his enlistment, they went out into the the countryside.

They spent their last days together without cameras, without fans, without anyone but the others they had become family with.

It was the last day, the last night, and Jonghyun and Key were sitting under a large tree on a hill behind the house where they were saying their goodbyes.

They sat close on the cool grass, feeling the soft night air surround them.

The night was so beautiful, it was almost like nature pitied them.

The night was full of bright points of light in every possible color. They shone bright, like the crystal drops on Key's cheeks.

After a long silence, Key managed to choke out the three words that had been plaguing him.

"I'll miss you."

"It's three years, you know. We won't see each other for three years. By the time I come home you'll already be gone." Jonghyun spoke softly, words heavy with sad emotion.

"We won't get this again, will we? This chance to say-" Key stopped himself and took a shaky deep breath, "goodbye."

"Bummie, this'll be our last goodbye. There will be no other." Key's heart broke for what seemed like the millionth time since he met Jonghyun. Hearing those words come from his mouth were devastating, like he was loosing a piece of himself, a piece he could never get back without his best friend.

An audible sob escaped Key, then came another, and another, and another. The sobs didn't stop, not when Jonghyun pulled him into a right embrace, not when he kissed his forehead, not when he left, not when Key himself left.

He took brakes in between, sometimes it was a few hours, sometimes a few days, weeks, even months, but the sobs kept coming back.

They didn't comeback alone.

They came with tears, they came with pain, they came with heartbreak, they came with longing for Jonghyun.

Three years passed excruciatingly slow.

Three years incomplete.

Three years that Key was sure were the first of being without Jonghyun.

Key had pulled away for too long, saying that their feelings didn't matter, that they could never be together.

Jonghyun had let go.

Key was not whole anymore.

When he stepped off the plane that brought him back to Seoul, he was still incomplete, but full of regret.

The same feeling of regret Jonghyun must have felt so long ago.

Regret that he didn't give them a chance when it was still possible.

He was finally back in his element after two years. He was wearing clothes that were sent to him by Taemin. Taemin was already gone though, and that seemed to break his heart even more.

In his last days home, he made sure that Key would look his best when finally coming home. He made sure that Key would feel at least a little bit like his old self again.

Walking off that plane and into the airport, he felt almost like he had never left, like he was just coming home form another concert.

Except that no one was walking beside him.

The fans were still there, the airport full of them.

Crying, sobbing, screaming, happy fans.

He was ushered out of the airport by bodyguards as quickly as possible for safety reasons.

He was led though back doors, into elevators, through corridors that made him feel like a mouse in a maze.

It was driving him insane, the twisting, the turning, left, right, up, down, it was all too much for him.

It reminded him too much of his own mind, and he couldn't take that.

He started crying again, those sobs coming back easily.

He ran from the men in dark clothes, he ran into the stairwell, then up and up until there was nowhere else to go.

He found himself on the roof under a blanket of stars.

Just like the night Jonghyun left.

The night was so beautiful, it was almost like nature pitied him.

The night was full of bright points of light in every possible color. They shone bright, like the crystal drops on Key's cheeks.

It wasn't like that night at the countryside.

It was louder.

Cars in the street below, the screaming of fans all around, the sound of planes flying overhead.

He felt trapped again.

Like there was no escape.

Like he was back in the maze.

Like he was back in his own mind.

The men in dark clothes found him soon enough, but he didn't want to calm down.

Cameras appeared all around, he refused to leave, he refused to go.

He wanted to be alone for a bit.

He didn't care if they thought he was suicidal.

He just needed time to think and not to think.

For fear that he'd do something rash if they pressured him, they let him stay, they pushed all the photographers and journalists off the roof, and they left Key alone.

He was alone on the roof, and the night sky started to seem dull.

The stars were being drowned out by the lights of the city, the air hurt his lungs, all he wanted was to breathe.

He leaned on the railing of the roof, overlooking the planes on the ground, all coming or going.

Was he coming or going?

He couldn't answer that question himself.

For a second the thought slipped into his head.

He didn't like it, but it seemed like a way out.

But then he thought about Jonghhun.

He wouldn't like it.

He wouldn't like it one bit.

Even if he had given up on him.

It would still hurt him and he couldn't do that.

But he was feeling worse and worse as everything passed.

He loves his life, it had always been hard, but that was one of the things he loved most.

Maybe he was a masochist, but it was better than being cynical.

He loved living it.

He loved being with his family, he loved performing, he loved traveling, he loved music, he loved dancing, he loved fashion, he loved SHINee, but, most importantly, he loved Jonghyun.

He cried and sobbed again.

He cried as the night sky got duller, he cried when a firm set of arms wrapped around him from behind, he cried because he immediately knew who it was.

"I missed you, Kibummie." Jonghyun whispered.

Key cried harder, and tried to pry himself out of Jonghyun's embrace.

His pain increased tenfold when he heard his voice, having him there as a reminder of his cowardice and what it cost him.

"Key, I'm never letting you go, please. It's just me, please calm down." He whispered softly, tuning Key in his arms so that he was facing him.

"You let me go three years ago!" Key screamed, tears falling from his eyes and into Jonghyun's shirt.

He was pressed up against his chest, slowly being pulled away from the railing.

It infuriated Key.

The fact that Jonghyun was worried he would jump made him utterly furious.

"You said goodbye! You said you didn't want me anymore!" Key sobbed and pounded his fists against Jonghyun's chest.

Jonghyun pulled him roughly away from his chest and held him at arms length by his arms as be looked him sternly in the eye.

"I have never in my life said I didn't want you. I every day, every night, every moment of my life, I spend it wanting you! Only you, by my side, just as it always should be!" They were both yelling and crying, and it seemed that the whole airport was hearing it.

Reporters, photographers, journalists, they were all coming up, being held back by men in dark clothes.

Jonghyun and Key paid no attention to them, there was nothing outside of them in that moment.

"You're upset about me saying it was our last goodbye, aren't you?" Jonghyun went back to whispering when realization hit him.

The second Key nodded his head, indicating that it was true, he pulled him back into a hug.

"Oh, Key. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. You always told me I had a way with words, but I'm such an idiot! Oh God, what did I put you through?" Key felt Jonghyun's arms tighten around his waist as he cried, mumbling apologies in between sobs.

"This is why you don't want me near you is it? You must hate me, you have every reason to." Jonghyun's voice was full of pain, it was something Key could recognize easily.

Slowly, Key returned Jonghyun's embrace.

"Jjong, I could never hate you." Key took a deep breath as he pressed himself closer to Jonghyun and put his heart to rest.

"I love you too much to hate you."

"Key," Jonghyun whispered, Key's confession, slowing his mind.

They'd both known that they were in love for a very long time, but they had never said it to each other. It was just assumed.

Assumed and ignored.

For a very long time, but Jonghyun was done with that.

He had caused this whole mess, now it was time for him to fix it.

He pressed his lips to Key's neck, then his cheek, and he whispered, "I love you, Key. Too much for your own good."

Jonghyun kissed the last tears that rolled down Key's face, and when they stopped, he looked his best friend in the eye.

They were twinkling, brighter than any tears, brighter than the flashes of the cameras around them, brighter than the stars themselves.

Jonghyun smiled, and, in Key's mind, the sky wasn't dull anymore, it didn't hurt to breathe, all he felt was love.

No pain, no heartbreak, just love.

The the universe exploded into flashes when their lips met, cameras flashing all around.

The kiss was long, tender, sweet, and bitter all at once.

Long like the time they had spent together, tender like the care they had for each other, sweet like the memories they shared, bitter because of past regrets.

They pulled away, cheeks flushed pink, lips swollen, and cameras still flashing.

"I only said it was out last goodbye because, once you came back, I'd never let you go." Jonghyun whispered, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to Key's.

With that, Key was freed from his mind.

No more pain, no more confusion, no more emptiness, he was complete.

"I love you, Jjong." 






 

Bennie, this is is for you! I couldn't find the one I was looking for, so I wrote a little Jongkey for you with a little angst and a happy ending!

Here she comes!

Fondue Maria!

SHE CAN'T BE ESCAPED.

Thank you so much! For everything, really! You're an inspiration for me, and you're one of the reasons I started writing here!

Thank you, Bennie! <3