Empty bottles scattered everywhere, the girls were drunk, either sleeping on the floor or leaning onto one and other.

I look at you, not surprised to find that you were still able to take two more shots down your throat.

Maybe sensing that I’m looking at you, you turn to me with clouded eyes and say,

“It’s warm in here.” You pour me another shot.

I gulp it down in one go and ask,

“Do you…not like it?”

“No. I like it though I think you’re hating it.” You pour yourself and me another glass.

“No. I like it, too.”

You let out a chuckle and down the glass,

“Since when the ice princess loves heat?”

“When I’m cold.” Tracing my finger around the rim of glass I answer back.

“The cold bothers you?”

“Sometimes.”

This time you laugh,

“Jessi you create the cold.”

I was on my way downing the glass but stop,

“What?”

“Silly Jessi.” You didn’t look at me instead to your glass of alcohol.

“What? Tell me.” I gulp the remaining liquor in my glass.

“The creator is afraid of her own creation.”

I don’t know whether it’s the alcohol affecting my brain function or really it’s Stephanie who’s saying non-sense, I just don’t get what she’s talking about.

“What are you – I don’t get it.” I look at her right in the eyes.

“Your eyes Jessi, your eyes. I’m feeling cold all of a sudden, you make me feel cold.” You put your warm hand on my cheek while soothing it a little.

“I’m sorry. I – “ I look down avoiding your soft eyes.

“No. Don’t be, I can handle it. I may even start to like it.” You lift my chin up and look me in the eyes.

“Steph – “

“Jessi you have cute cat eyes.” You smile and I can see my reflection in your pair of brown orbs.

“Th – thanks Fany. You have very pretty eyes too.”

“And you have a pointy nose.” You grin and lightly tap on my nose.

“You’re not so bad yourself…” I pinch your nose earning a soft whine.

I laugh and so do you. We then have a few more glasses and you look at me again.

“Jess have I ever told you…” You put your hand on my shoulder.

“Hm?”

“That you have…” Your hand creeps up to my neck.

“…” I just look at you.

“A pair of kissable lips?” You pull me close but hold me in place where our lips barely touch.

“Steph.“ I could literally smell the vodka from your lips.

“Jessi?” You answer but still keeping the close proximity.

“You have a bo– mm” I don’t have a chance to finish my sentence as you already shut me with your lips.

Our breaths in sync when we kiss.

Your left hand now massaging my nape while your right encircles around my waist, pulling me towards you, making me sitting on your lap. As I put my arms around your neck, we both in our first breath.

My right hand creeps up to mess with your brunette locks, that’s when your left starts to go up and down my back, soothing me; we in our second breath.

You stand up bringing me with you but never releasing my lips, pushing me against the kitchen counter and that’s when we in the third breath.

Who cares if the air is as thin as the ones above the clouds.

We keep kissing and in breaths after breaths, but the air still isn’t enough.

My conscious tells me it’s time to part but my heart tells me to just hang in there.

Both of us start to have uneven breaths, I try to in as much as I could because I never want this kiss to end. But the air around us is so thin, even if we in more frequently, it’s still not enough.

Screw this. As long as I’m kissing Stephanie who cares if the air around us is as thin as the ones above the clouds.

I only know if I don’t kiss you, my heart will freeze to death.

After one more touch on our lips, mother-nature cruelly separates us.

Pulling away, I look into your eyes, in hopes I won’t find a trace of regret.

“Steph I – “

“Jessi, I feel very warm.” You never look away, keeping the eye contact with me.

“Uh?”

You smile with your eyes and said,

“Your eyes Jessi, the way they look now is so much warmer.” You caress my fringe, a gesture you’ve been doing to me since we debuted.

“I…”

You hug me. Snuggling yourself into me and nuzzles your head under my chin.

All of a sudden, I feel so warm, it’s like I’ve walked through flames itself.

But my heart…seems like the warmth didn’t reach up to there.

Fany we kissed but we are not together, what are we?

I can feel there’s layer upon layer of ice building around my heart, clenching it tightly, making it freezing cold. It’s so cold it washes all the warmth away.

Please let me kiss you again so I don’t have to feel the coldness, for now.

I push you away and right before you can ask what’s wrong I press my lips onto yours.

Screw your boyfriend, screw us, screw everything. This moment is ours. Ours only.

I hold my breath, in hopes to lock away this precious memory.

The kiss appears to be less vigorous, our lips move slowly against each other, not rushing for anything.

This kiss obviously last longer than the previous one but still I can feel that both of us are starting to run out of breath.

Would I ever be able to kiss you again? Maybe not.

I don’t want to let you go.

The more air I try to into my lungs, the faster I feel that we have to part. So I hold my breathe, keep my lips in place with yours, hoping to carve this moment forever in my frozen heart.

I will never have you even if I run out of breath.

Sensing you grabbing a tight hold on my arms, I know you’re out of your breath and you want to pull away.

I would like to kiss you forever if that was possible.

Even if I ran out of breath, I would never mind.

But still I will never have you.

Pulling away, you immediately lean on me while having deep breaths.

“I’m sorry…” I said.

“No it’s alright Jessi, I’m fine.”

I didn’t say a word, just enjoying this moment between you and me.

“Jessi?”

“Hm?”

“Is it possible to be in love with two?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“If you really love the first one, you would never fall for the second.”

“Jess – “

“In here I’m the first.”

“It’s – “

“And Nichkhun is the second.”

“No Jessi I love – “

“It’s okay Fany, I understand.”

“No! Listen to me Jessi! I love y – “

I shush her with a peck on the lips.

“Steph it’s selfish to love two persons at the same time, I know your big heart would try to love equally but no, it’s still not possible.”

“No Jess how could you conclude that so roughly!?”

“Tell me then, how many hearts do you have?”

“…One?”

I place my hand over your chest, close my eyes and feel the familiar heartbeat.

“Yes pabo you have one heart only. So does everyone.”

You grab my hand that’s on your chest and interlace our fingers together, I continue,

“So that means if you love two people at the same time, neither one of them would be able to have all your heart while you could have both of theirs.”

I squeeze your hand and take a deep breath,

“You’ll have two hearts in your hands while Nichkhun and I would only have half of yours.”

Releasing your hand, I drop a single tear,

“Isn’t that selfish?”

A/N:

I know I know, I should be delivering something fluffy, something sweet that's going to make you puke rainbows and stuff...

But this whole thing just came to me like a huge wave and I couldn't control myself!

I wrote this in one day so bear with me <3

PLEASE DO COMMENT! SARANGHAE!!! (Hugs you all)