Luhan comes home to an empty bed and a puddle of water on the floorboard. The pills on the bedside table are still there and under his handwriting, there are scrawny letters written in Yifan’s ugly handwriting.

It reads: There is nothing to forgive

Luhan calls Yifan’s private number but he doesn’t answer.

(He tells himself not to cry and ends up trashing his house while he screams himself hoarse.)

#

Minseok is the one who arrange for a team to fish Yifan’s body out of the water but Tao is the one who’s there to monitor it all. Jongdae and Sehun are the one dragging the corpse out of the water.

Jongdae yanks his oxygen masks off and glares at Yifan’s pale and dead face, he bits his lips to suppress it from shaking with anger. Sehun keeps his on because he’s crying and he wants to have some dignity intact even if it’s just an illusion.

Tao’s the one doing the crying for them both.

#

The thing is; nobody blames Luhan. Everyone should be glaring and sneering at him with every given chance.

But no one does.

No one did when Yifan returned to base with hollowed eyes and a broken heart. And no one’s blaming him when Yifan is sleeping in the casket.

(They’re just glad they have his body to bury next to Chanyeol’s empty grave.)

#

Kyungsoo has a packet of toothpicks with him. He glares at the headstone angrily even though he knows that it won’t bring back the dead.