‘I’m still at the bookstore Alyssa-san, I’ll meet you in 30 min daijobu?’

I was trying to juggle the art materials and the books I was carrying in one arm while trying to answer my phone. I still have no idea why we women still insisted on carrying too much things even if we know we cant really carry all of it at one time…that’s what baskets are for, but then again I couldn’t find any baskets in the bookstore I was in.

It was the weekend, an ordinary weekend in Seoul and I was supposed to be resting from a very tired and hectic week but instead of doing that I was shopping for art materials and I agreed to meet up with my friends to discuss the forth coming engagement of Kim Ryeowook, yes the eternal maknae of super junior to Alyssa Park, head editor in chief of GQ Korea. Despite agreeing to a weekend of chaos my heart didn’t entirely wanted that, all I wanted to was sit on one corner of my lonely apartment and cry my heart out and pretend that I’m not alone, with all of my friends are either married or getting married, I was in a relationship with a man who loves his turtle more than anything else in the world.

‘a-chan stop thinking about worthless things’ I murmured to myself as I walked around the bookstore to see if I needed to by anymore things for work next week.

I sighed and moved towards the check out counter to pay for my purchases but my mind was nowhere near to what I was doing at that moment…my mind was focusing on a certain chinky-eyed Korean who was being an , you can also count his parents for giving me a hard time right now. If my mind could only say it in words how much she hates my thoughts then I would gladly try to keep myself preoccupied but even that was a futile effort…yup love is indeed a complicated matter.

I knew loving someone isn’t a bed of roses, it also has thorns and in loving someone you have to embrace those thorns and not just the beauty of the one you love but right now it looks like I’m embracing a bucket full of sharp knives. In all that I never once complained to the guy responsible for my breaking heart, it took all of my will and patience not to do anything about it, to love him despite the fact that I was hurting deep inside.

‘why do I have to go thru this?’ I asked myself as I got out of the bookstore and walked to the other part of the mall where Alyssa was waiting for me.

I envy her and wookie-kun for they somehow managed to work things out between them, hell I envy the rest of my friends who were happily married and loving their lives as a mother, a wife and a career woman. Just recently khae-san gave birth to a bouncing baby boy adding another baby in our family. Ria and Lin have cute toddlers already, Sammie and Yna were enjoying their moments with their babies, khae’s a proud new mommy, Alyssa was happily engaged to the man she loves and there I was still trying to figure out what to do about my problem with Yesung’s parents.

Yes, I’m his girlfriend…kano-jyo in Japanese and I didn’t want to say it in Korean for I would only think of him and it would hurt me all the more. We didn’t start out as lovers right away, I mean how can you like someone who can constantly talk about a mile per minute without stopping but I guess that’s what makes him more endearing. He also doesn’t have a good sense of direction…I’m sure if we ever decide to go camping in the wilderness of Texas I’m pretty sure that the Texas Chainsaw Massacre guy would come and get us for real.

He was perfect in every way, sweet, delightful, funny, adorable, and it wouldn’t hurt that he’s also as y as hell but how can you continue loving someone if you often get ridiculed by his parents? Most especially by his mother…constantly telling you that you’re never good enough for her precious son?

I honestly don’t even know what I did to deserve that kind of treatment from them, though his brother was pretty supportive about me and Yesung but still my mother taught me that I should also earn the respect and trust of his parents…but how the hell will I do that when his parents already made up their mind to hate me? And if that isn’t enough they wanted Yesung to marry a girl that they like?!

‘annyeong a-chan!’

‘oh? Konichiwa Alyssa-san, gomene for being a bit late’ I said as I gave her a kiss, I couldn’t believe that I spaced out again…good thing I didn’t tripped myself or something.

She smiled at me and motioned for a waiter to get our orders ‘gwaenchenayo unnie? You’re not yourself lately…’

Instead of answering her I just gave the waiter my orders and waited for her to be done with hers before answering her question…

‘is it that noticeable already?’ I sighed ‘I’m still thinking about my problems with you know who…’ I added as I stretched my arms and looked around the not so crowded café, come to think of it that part of the mall was usually private and most often than not people who would go there are that of the persons in politics or the old rich, so it isn’t unusual if you’d see people wearing ties and formal wear inside the mall.

‘you still haven’t talked things out with yesung oppa? Why unnie?’

I shook my head and took a sip from my glass of water ‘because he’s not really around, after that scene in the hospital I couldn’t talk to him properly anymore…’

I was about to say something more when she pointed at the entrance of the coffee shop and mouthed to keep quiet, so I did what she told me to and what I saw literally made me fall off the chair making the waitress who came to serve our orders gasp in surprise when she saw me.

‘tell me that’s not him…’ I whispered

‘who’s that girl with him unnie? Is she?’ Alyssa asked me in a whisper but it was loud enough for the waitress to hear for she proved to be helpful in adding bits of information to Alyssa and I.

‘that’s Miss Han, she’s the daughter of the owner of the coffee shop. Enjoy your coffee!’

I didn’t trust myself to speak as of that moment for knowing I would very much cry infront of Alyssa and that’s the last thing I need right now…tears. I quietly observed the trio entering the coffee shop, it was none other than Mrs. Kim, Miss Han and of course my kareshi…yesung. He was wearing a hoodie and a baseball cap that hid most of his handsome face but even in the dark and no matter how far he is I would still recognize that physique. I didn’t want to ask him why or how but it was enough for me to know that he was smiling at Miss Han, and he usually doesn’t smile to me anymore.

‘unnie…do you want to go?’ Alyssa whispered as she held my hand.

I gave her a small smile and nodded ‘I’m no masochist…lets just get our coffees, or leave them here. Do they have another exit?’ I asked as I looked around us…drat! Only one entrance and exit…we have no choice but to pass by them.

Alyssa stood up first and gave me an encouraging smile, and as I looked at Yesung happily chattering with that b*tch I needed to salvage my pride, it was all that I have left after the feeling of being betrayed. I stood up and took a deep breath as I carried my bags and walked as if my heart wasn’t broken and my tears didn’t threaten to fall from my eyes.

When I neared them Mrs. Kim turned around and I was rewarded by the look of surprise in her eyes but it was only for a few precious seconds and she gave me a smile that didn’t quite reached her eyes, I didn’t want to be rude so I bowed at her in greeting and then turned to face the traitor…and that look on his surprised face was something that would torment me for a while…it was the look that no girlfriend would wish to see from their boyfriend…it was guilt.

‘konichiwa oppa…’ I whispered as I walked out of the café and if I could do it…out of his life as well.

*an*

the first chapter... :) leave comments guys and suggestions as well.