My feet were hitting the pavement harder than they ever had before. The cold wind was whipping my face as snow that had been swept off of tree branches and roofes hit my face. Each little drift of snow stung twice as much as it probably should have, but the tears that were streaming down my face felt just as painful, if not more.
This was just the icing on the cake of the worst day I have ever had. We had been just fine yesterday- the best of friends! Then this happened. He knows how I push myself to my very limits and try to keep myself busy as much as possible, and yet he still did that? Am I not good enough? I wasn't good enough in the past, that's why I erased my childhood from my mind. But- I thought he was actually my friend. Apparently I had been nothing more than a good gossip piece. I let out an ironic laugh as the te fresh tears that poured down my cheeks froze.
Why did I agree to meet him today? It could have been said over the phone- I laugh again. That's exactly what I had said to his face. Now that I think of it, I don't recall what his face looked like when I said that. "It's not like we're dating! You're not my boyfriend! You could have said all of that when you called me! But instead you had me walk over here when half the town hasn't even bothered to shovel their sidewalks yet, to tell me you don't want to be friends?!" I really should have looked at his face. I lost my first best friend in the way one would lose a boyfriend or girlfriend. 
"You broke up with me! Oh. My. God. We are friends! No correction, we were friends! I don't know what the heck they said to you. Heck! I don't even know why you bothered to talk to someone else ABOUT our friendship! It's our friendship, not all three of ours. I'm not friends with him! I was friends with you. Was, but... no more."
"Key, don't you think that you are over-reacting?" I recall that I stiffened when he said that, but I stiffen again. It feels as though we are doing this all over again when in reality I am just standing in the middle of a one-foot-tall snow drift replaying the scene in my head.
"I'm not sure, am I? Please tell me once you experience this pain, this dissapointment, this betrayal. Then you can tell me if I am over-reacting."
We argued for a few minutes longer after that, but once we had calmed down- he said the last thing I needed to hear.
"Why don't you come in for a little while? Say hello to my grandfather. He really likes you as though you were his own grandson." He smiled at me. After all of that, he asked me to come in and he SMILED at me? Are you for real? No. No I will not come in!
"I'm sorry Seunghyun, I really can't. I have a whole pile of stuff I still have to do before my rehearsals tonight. But, tell grandpa I said hello and I'm sorry I couldn't say it person." I bit my tongue. I didn't want to say anything else. I really cared for his grandfather- he is a sweet elderly man, but I just can't...
I laugh again as I feel the cold snow bring me back to my harsh reality. I am not good enough. That explains everything. There are so many better choices out there. Better people for Seunghyun to be friends with- like that jerk that advised him to invite me over to tell me that we can't be friends anymore. What was that jerk's name again? Hongki. He's in my math, English, and music classes. He would be. He can do everything I can, and then some. I really am not good enough... I feel just a few more tears slide down my burning and frozen cheeks as they freeze as well. More snow smacks my face and they feel like dull daggers trying to penetrate my skin.
I pick up a foot and heavily place it on the ground. This is just one more day to erase. One more day I have to forget, but I know that there is damage done. The damage that brought to my attention- I am not good enough.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sorry it's so angsty! >.< But yeah, 97 to 98% of the quoted sections are direct quotes from what was said. >///<

Can you guess which friend I was? >///<

Thanks for reading!

~BaiLingLing <3