I was told that I am different.

Special.

He told me I was one in a million; his one & only.

Apparently… being diagnosed with dyspraxia* makes me special.

How hilarious can this get.
How naïve can I get.
 

I still vividly remember that very day how he routinely went down on one knee to tie my shoes.
“One day… someone else will be here for you, someone who loves you more than I do.”
“Appa...who’s that someone?”
“Someone who’ll tie these rabbit ears for you.”  
 

I was 5.
The air was crisp and fresh.
It was a beautiful day with slow moving columbus clouds hovering over me.

“HAPPY BURSTDAY!”
My classmates were exclaiming to me as they streamed out of the corridor to see their parents who are here to pick them.

I flashed them my last smile while holding on to the glittery Birthday party hat given exclusively to me.
Exploding like fireworks in my heart, I can’t contain my excitement.
Time was passing too slow.

He should be round the corner.

I can’t wait to tell him the most special day of my life…
From the birthday song, the birthday cake to the presents they bought for me.
How my friends smeared the icing onto my cheeks.
How I could reach for the books at the 2nd shelves today.
How much I grew in a day.

Just how much I could grow in a day.

I waited at my usual bench as the wind started to fill my surroundings with cold air.

I should go find him instead.
He probably lost his way.

I will tie my own shoelace today.
I’m a big girl now.

"Make two bunny ears...”
The bunny runs around the tree. The bunny jumps in a hole. And close it up tight!

Holding back my tears, I struggled with those white bunny ears.

Where are they supposed to lope around?
Sitting on the hard floor, welled up with tears, I couldn’t find those ears.


“…the bunny runs around the tree… jumps in…OK!”

My eyes met with a pair of crescent shaped eyes.
I can never forget his innocent smile that just seemed so effortless & real.

After that day, I never saw him.
He left without a word, just my mum & I…
I understood the meaning of ‘trust no one but yourself’.

I neve