After an exhausting night at work my first mission is to beat the sun because sunrise is homicidal! I'm not exaggerating or being over dramatic sunrise is out for blood. What you try driving towards the sunrise after a dreadful grave shift when the pop machine is out of stock add weak sunglasses into that mix. Not to mention idiot drunk drivers driving on the wrong side of the road, heck even field workers just blazes on through across one field to another without stopping. It's a miracle how these idiots got their license.

Where was I - Ah yes, arrive home expect return to my faithful bed what do I find. My aunts car in the driveway. Now what! I think I liked it better where she is pouting and avoided us at all cost for half a year or two. First thought came to mind. "Please! Buddah! Please let there be nothing wrong with her transportation! I was positive in selecting economic car even though she shouldn't be speeding around on it wearing out the engine. Please don't break on her! It was extremely exhausting past two weeks driving her to school and her sons to work"  Her choice in cars has been piss poor broken down junks. Only good one she used was 'our' Chevy Camaro we lent out to her until she got back on her feet couple weeks later I don't know how she did it. She managed to trade our car for a piece of junk that broken down. "Because the Camaro was too low" she said. Umma and Appa wasn't very pleased with her no I take it back they were furious. She avoided us for two..three years.. Umma was still upset about that before she passed.

Aunt had said she has wild hair ; she wants to take off somewhere leave her boys here.  Side eyed self restrain "Really! Can't you just leave your car to the boys while you take off with my sister!" But no! She don't trust them. They have to stay here, eat and drink up our food we just recently bought. Sometimes I swear she has a radar when we get food soon she'll dump off her kids and take off.  Her boys started working finally after they got their together. 

I get annoyed easily.

Whenever she or my cousins shows up. Door be locked they be knocking. If neither my sisters or I answer. You think they leave, naw they'd be calling my phone, don't answer. You're clearly mistaken think they'd give up that easily. They'd be knocking my god damn window! Gawd! Don't you have a life! Other friends! Somebody beside this house! I think you can survive a day, weeks, months, year without seeing us!

I'm probably still bitter at her. Her ty choice in cars how we were only down to two transportation my noona had to lend out her car . Appa was at work while sisters and I took shifts taking care our bed ridden Umma, Umma didn't want to spend her last days in the hospital she wanted to be home.  She had emergency we were carless able to help from the hospice nurse and doctor arriving.  Appa scolded noona for lending out her car when we needed it the most. Aunt arrived feeling bad I bit my tongue from yelling at her and take the keys. Yeah I guess I am burned out with her. After Umma passed I was numb that whole time taking care of her while she was alive.

Let me tell you it was amusing sometimes. After giving her a sponge bath tried putting on her cloths she said "Wait" she flung her shirt off. Umma!, You want to air dry? "Yeah" shook my head. Okay. Umma. Okay. Her new medication confuses and causes hallucination. "I got ty socks!" sputter out my drink, what? "My socks are ty" No kidding Umma how many feet these socks been on, what a ty sock. "Yeah they're s" Hallucination one before giving her pain meds she freaked out "Stop!" I continue forward "STOP!" 'huh what?' looked at her round eyes aimed at my feet.  "There's a hole right there!" look down. I went along with it and asked her where is it. "Right there, it's in front of you!" Okay I hopped to the side up front gave her dose, hopped back write the time and date down when I given it for the Sisters day shift plus hospice when they visit. Then hopped on back over lay her down so she can rest.  'See there Umma nothing to worry about me falling into the hole. You get some rest while I cover it up. Okay.' "Okay" Think my favorite one is when my time was up, all our family was here, nieces,nephews,cousins, three aunts come and visit her during the day. Umma told Appa she wanted to sit outside. We got her wheelchair off they went sitting on our new ramp that was recently built. We didn't ask for it housing workers just came over built us a ramp since they heard about her. They sat outside side by side. Soon after other aunt was a retired nurse came and helped out. Noonas awake and other aunt was inside with Umma I wanted to spend time by myself before getting some shut eye.

People asked how we were able to handle this. Honestly. I don't know. I don't feel anything right now. When I do I'll let you know. Til then I am numb.

Since then. Started to get annoyed easily. Sometimes I feel my noona wanted to slap me whenever I rant to her about our aunt. But then I don't like it how she tries to brain wash our noona with our inheritance money. "The oldest is supposed to get it. Not you two." Really! Then why did you get halmoni's inheritence money? shouldn't it go to oldest auntie that you loath so much. "You shouldn't back talk to me!" she snaps. You're the one that said the oldest gets the money why are you receiving money since you're the youngest!

It was dumb enough when she was car less she thought about making her boys stay with us eat and drink our food. Would of told her since they're staying here instead of helping out with your house bills. They're going to have to pitch in with ours too. That did it. She got her car. Paid us back. Instead of reaching for the stars when she says she doesn't want to depend on anyone. She's been depending on us that whole time.

For once I don't want to hear about aunt complaining about her oldest noona she hates so much.

For once I want these two sister aunts to get the along!

Reaching too high.

I just want to be alone with ONLY! The people Appa, two noonas, and my girl. Just once!

 No beggers(party) people asking for money for their liquor!

No gamble addicts(broke) people calling.

Just once.

Peace and Quiet!