Blame Kyuhyun for being cute. I like torturing him more than I should. :0 XD

I won't promise a happy ending, but someone does, so let's see.... ^^

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***

A continuous series of steady beeps heard from the ECG monitor beside Siwon’s stiff body. The room is cold and mind-numbing. Siwon is laying on the bed, intravenous fluids dripped into his left wrist’s vein, oxygen mask latched on face with straps tight on the sides of his scalp, he is in coma.

Kyuhyun is restless; his breathing isn’t as light as three days ago, before this tragic accident happened. Three days ago, Siwon was on his way to pick him up after his overtime recording in MBC. It was supposed to be manager who would take him home that night, but Siwon insisted that he would be the one who did so, besides Kyuhyun planned to straight away to Siwon’s apartment.

It was so fast that Kyuhyun forgot the time when manager called him a little while later, asked him to drive off to the hospital fast without elaborating much details, but he knew something bad must have happened. When he arrives at the hospital, and feels his body aching, his heartbeat stops for some possible seconds, it hits too close to home for him and he loathes every single thought jumbled around inside his messed-up brain right now.

It’s been three days now, Kyuhyun is waiting on the same spot of the hospital hallway, in front of intensive care unit, whispering silent prayer and begging for the second chance given for Siwon nonstop. Siwon’s mother has been telling Kyuhyun to go home, take time off. Kyuhyun looks like a zombie, zones out from his surroundings he doesn’t talk, let alone answers questions, sits still like he is a stone dropping inside deep sea, getting far away, unhearing; makes everyone worried.

“You should go home son...” Siwon’s old man said; caresses Kyuhyun’s shoulder, he takes a pity on Kyuhyun who is about to pass out in seconds, he refuses.

Three hours later, after convincing Kyuhyun that he will be informed right away to whatever Siwon’s condition and will be allowed to visit Siwon later, he finally agrees to go home. To his surprise, Kyuhyun’s wake up 12hours later, with dizzyness and crumpled wear, he needs at least three times to check the date before rushes to the bathroom, forces his best friend to take him to the hospital.

When he reaches the hospital with Changmin, the atmosphere is different, it is lighter but not better, he can see some members in front of Siwon’s room, talking. They are smiling but not really smiling, Kyuhyun curses under his breath for sleeping like a baby that he must have missed out so many things when he was away.

When the members acknowledge his presence, they become silent. He walks closer, expecting someone to elaborate him about Siwon’s condition, he stares at them, yet he gets nothing, they are so quite like a damaged robot, but their eyes tell something that Kyuhyun catches as a pity.

“Is Siwon okay?” Kyuhyun carefully says

Only Eunhyuk dares to look at him, others supposedly turn their gazes everywhere but Kyuhyun. He’s examining Eunhyuk’s odd silence.

“Hyung....how is he?” He pushes some more.

The moment Eunhyuk inhales long breath and firmly grips his wrist, pulling him to the corner of the hallway, he is sure this is not a good thing, even in the next century, this action never been a good sign.

He can hear his own heart racing through his ribcage, planting a tiny prodding pain from his stomach. Changmin follows them, just in case.

“He is awake.” Eunhyuk says steady and Kyuhyun can feel the burden weighing his chest being lifted, but shortly his mind back to the logic reason why Eunhyuk drags him away from Siwon when it is good news to be told.  “But...” There is always a but... Kyuhyun thought, flinches at Eunhyuk’s caution expression. “He suffers from amnesia.”

Kyuhyun stares terrified at Eunhyuk, eyes moving anxiously to Changmin and back to Eunhyuk. His mouth chaps and rigid, he wants to ask the details but his brain is shutting down by that simple truth.

“What kind of memory loss, hyung?” Changmin helps him to ask.

“It’s some sort of partial memory loss, He lose memories, but not the whole, I mean he still remembers his family, members, he remembers that he is in Super Junior. Only....” He looks back at Kyuhyun, picking the next words severely. “He loses the memories of the past five years.... He thinks we just had concert in Shanghai for Super Show 2”

He collapses on the floor, legs folded in disarray, palm masking his mouth, dissuade pathetic words that eager to escape from his mouth; the next thing heard is just a gasp, sound of gnawing sobs following the tears start rolling down on his cheeks. The other two crouching down on the floor trying to make Kyuhyun gets up but he tumbles.

It’s not five days or five weeks or five months, it’s five long years. It means he doesn’t remember Hangeng oficially quit the band, Kibum chose to take a break, they released many albums after Sorry Sorry, they just held Super Show 6 with their 7th album. He worked in lots of movie and was voted as the 7th most handsome man in 2013. He never recalls doing so. It's like fortune-telling someone of his future, some he believes, some doesn't....and he isn’t ready inwardly to acknowledge the fact that Siwon forgets about their relationship, their love, their promises and their dreams.

For some people five years might be a very short time, a rolled scenario of life, memories, mundane events; only, for Kyuhyun this five years are thousands things that matter for him, too many things, too many indescribable bittersweet experience of life, too many valuable memories, many significant changes and also a life changing. Those can’t be learned in mere weeks by people tell story about it, it’s not that simple as making Siwon to listen to whatever things he never remember did. It involves sacrifice of life, self maturation and tangled process, some of them were bad, others were good and the rest were special.

“The doctor said he can get his memories back, gradually.....” Eunhyuk said, but he himself doesn’t seem convinced by his own words, yet he placates “We can help him to get his memory back, Kyuhyun... I believe that. We will work for it.”

He stares intensely at Eunhyuk’s face, it’s kinda deja vu for him seeing Eunhyuk grips his palm tightly and saying the similar things seven years ago when he is laying on the side of the street, dying. But Kyuhyun’s mind is too busy to grasp mentally what Eunhyuk said, his mind rejects any possible solution, instead he snaps back to Eunhyuk when realization hits him hard.

“So....he thinks he is 23 years old?” Kyuhyun speaks warily  “2009.... It’s...” He swings his head in disbelief. 2009 was so old, too old for good people to stay. Kyuhyun remembers, back in 2009, he was 21 years old, still juvenile, timid and talk a little, Siwon was already outstanding, great and admirable. He loved Siwon back then and Siwon loved Kyuhyun but as little cute brother, although Kyuhyun felt something else. But Siwon was happy and Kyuhyun was too self-conscious to intrude Siwon’s private life, let alone told the older how he felt, besides he had girlfriend.

A bitter laugh breaks out between his sobbing, mortifying his own long well-planned dream with him and Siwon last year after their concert in London.

‘Living low profile, with you and our kids....and twenty dogs.’

‘Twenty dogs?’

‘Yes, we will have garden on the back yard, our kids will play hide and seek there, you’ll be in the kitchen and I’ll be.....”

‘No, I don’t cook, you do. I will just..... watch you cooking’

“Did he?” Voice cracks “Is he looking for her?” Kyuhyun words floating in the air, mixed with the unattanded low sobs. Eunhyuk doesn’t answer, but Kyuhyun knows the answer is yes, he is looking for her, his girlfriend now, but also five years ago. His heart’s going numb, aching everywhere, like he has been injected with a high voltage electric, skins peel off, every inch of his body trembling. He is disabled.

***

The dull silence containing the clear hallway in front of hospital Siwon’s staying. He has been transferred to the patient room one hour ago, and Kyuhyun still can’t register what he has to do, what he has to say when the time of him facing Siwon comes. It’s funny how life changes in mere minutes, he spent days at the hospital praying for Siwon to regain conscious soon, but when that finally happens he feels terrified about it. He wonders if he misspelled Siwon’s name in his pray that God sent the wrong Siwon, instead of the one that loves him for his dear life.

Changmin Kyuhyun’s arm gently “Kyuhyun-ah, we’ve been sitting here for four hours, don’t you want to come inside and see Siwon.”

Kyuhyun shakes his head, eyes stare so far away.

“Let’s go home.” He utters toneless.

“But...what if”

“He won’t need me.” Kyuhyun cuts fast, like he knew that Changmin’s next words would be ..... he needs you?  Kyuhyun casts down his eyes.

“He needs her.”

TBC

thanks for reading (please don't kill meeeeehhhh)

regards,

Serena H_