Taemin couldn't sleep.

He'd been lying in bed for what felt like the past half hour, listening to his own breathing and staring at the ceiling. Frustrated, he rolled over to grab his phone.

It lit up, the light burning his eyes as he saw the time: 5:30 am. Groaning inwardly Taemin realized that he probably wouldn't be able to get any more sleep. He rolled out of bed, covering his feet with socks, and stuffing them into slippers. He pulled on a large fluffy sweater, and wrapped himself in a blanket from the bed. Next he grabbed his phone and headed outside, careful not to wake anyone.

The last thing he expected to find outside was Kibum standing on the porch wrapped in his own blanket.

Kibum wasn't expecting to see anyone else either, and he gave a little jump when Taemin opened the door.

"What the heck are you doing out here?" Taemin asked, his voice mellowed by sleep.

"I couldn't sleep." Kibum replied softly after he'd calmed down from the fright.  

"Me too. Well...obviously." Taemin said as he walked up to stand next to Kibum. It was hard to fully see his face in the dim light provided by the motion activated porch light.

Kibum smiled. "I just have trouble sleeping in beds that aren't my own, you know? Maybe it sounds childish."

Taemin shook his head. "No, I get it."

Kibum turned to lean against the railing of the porch. "And I couldn't stop thinking. Sometimes my mind just won't shut up. "

"Ugh, that ." Taemin agreed. "Was something bothering you or? I mean, I don't want to pry."

Kibum rested his elbows on the railing and put his face in his hands. He exhaled loudly.

"It's ok. It's actually about what we were talking about before lunch. I've wanted to be an artist ever since I was young, and I never even considered doing anything else. Then, hearing you talk about how you want to help others just sounded so selfless and it made me think of how selfish I'm being. I feel like I only ever think of myself."

Afraid of crossing Kibum's comfort zone Taemin slowly walked closer to the other boy and softly laid one of his hands on the other's shoulder.

"You make it sound like you don't think that art has a purpose, but it totally does. It's stuff like art that keeps people sane when everything gets too overwhelming. Surely you've experienced this yourself?"

Kibum uncovered his face with his hands and looked up at Taemin, his eyes widening when he realized how close they were to one another. Taemin kept eye contact with the other boy to show him the honesty in what he had just said.

"I-" Kibum started, his voice dying in his throat. Why was Taemin so good at keeping eye contact? It made him feel so exposed. He broke the connection and looked down.

"I guess you're right."

Taemin recognized that he was making Kibum uncomfortable so he let go of his shoulder to give him some space.

It was right at this moment that the sun started peeking out over the horizon. Before them what seconds ago was pitch black nothingness changed before their eyes as the light lit up the landscape and was reflected by the now sparkling lake. Kibum turned to look back at Taemin, smiling.

Taemin felt his breath leave him as he looked at the other boy. His face, which had just been covered with wrinkles of worry was now open and carefree. The light from the sun made his eyes shine, and Taemin fully realized for the first time how beautiful and dynamic Kibum was. He resisted the urge to pull back the other's boy's long hair to fully see his face and grinned back at him.

The moment ended as quickly as it had began when they heard a crash from indoors. Upon inspection it turned out that Jinki had gotten up to use the bathroom, but had tripped over something as he tried to feel his way there in the dark. Thankfully their friend didn't ask any awkward questions about why the two of them had been out on the porch alone before it was even 6:00 am.

Everyone else had slept well, and the rest of the morning was lazy and comfortable with warm beverages and calm conversation. Jinki decided that he wouldn't join Taemin and Key for sketching again that day because Jonghyun and Minho had tempted him with the prospect of hiking.

"Don't worry about it, you should go have fun with them." Taemin heard Key reassuring his friend.

He was secretly glad that Jinki wouldn't be joining them. From the time they'd spent together he knew that he really liked Jinki and they got along well, but he also really wanted to get to be alone with Kibum again. He thought maybe they could have some more good conversation, and things just seemed to be more relaxed when it was just the two of them.

Pretty soon they were at the same spot as the previous day, and Kibum was laughing hysterically at Taemin having a stand off with a squirrel that had stolen one of his pencils.

"Give it baaack." Taemin whined, staring the squirrel down as it held his pencil in its little claws.

Kibum continued to roll in his chair, obviously entertained. Taemin turned around to glare at him, his hands on his hips.

"No fair, I don't want to get rabies or something, ok? Plus, if it was your pencil I wouldn't be laughing."

Kibum scoffed at Taemin's implied purity of spirit causing the other boy to smirk a bit.

Taemin turned back to the squirrell only to find it running away with his pencil.

"Hey, come back here!" He shouted and ran after it waving his arms. Kibum began to laugh again.

Taemin returned empty handed to find Kibum drying his eyes.

"I haven't laughed like that in ages." He said, much more calmly than before.

"I had no idea you could be so cruel." Taemin grumbled as he sat back down, feining being hurt. Kibum looked at him.

"You're not actually upset though, are you?" He checked. "You have to admit that was pretty funny. And the squirrel," he giggled a bit, "looked ready to fight you."

"Fine, " Taemin admitted, smiling. "But it was totally mean of him! What the heck is he going to do with that pencil? Eat it?"

"Maybe he's an artist like us." Kibum pondered, crossing his arms and leaning back in his lawn chair to look up at the sky.

"Well he'd better remember me when he's famous," Taemin played along, "He owes me."

That evening when they were all in the kitchen making dinner Minho sidled up next to Taemin.

"So what's up with you and Kibum?" he said in an undertone so no one else could hear.

"Uh, we're kinda friends, what do you mean?" Taemin hissed back. "I don't want to talk about this now."

"Jinki mentioned he found you two standing next to each other watching the sunrise this morning." Minho challenged Taemin's previous statement with wiggling eyebrows. "Sounds pretty romantic to me."

"Oh my god, you're awful!" Taemin punched his friend.  "No, we just both couldn't sleep and kinda found each other by coincidence."

Taemin watched across the room as Kibum, Jinki, and Jonghyun had a "sword" duel with spatulas and wooden spoons.

"He's just someone I wouldn't mind getting to know better." He said absentmindedly.

Minho agreed, "He seems like a pretty cool guy."

"I'm pretty sure he likes guys too, but I just don't want another relationship like the ones I've had before, you know? I feel like I have to make sure I really know who he is as a person before I'd make myself vulnerable like that again. And he's fun to be around. If he's only interested in friendship I don't want to ruin what we have."

Taemin didn't have the best memories of his past relationships. They all ended with him realizing the other person had only been interested in him for his looks and not for who he was as a person. As much as he believed that Kibum wasn't like that it was still hard for him to trust others in this way.

Sometimes he wished he didn't look the way he did. After his last breakup he'd considered shaving his head and changing how he dressed. But it was more complicated than that. That particular time he'd been more pissed off than usual, and other stuff had been stressing him out as well. The thing was that he liked to pick out and wear nice outfits. He had no problem with dressing up and looking good for himself, he just didn't understand why people expected him to just accept it when they objectified him.

That evening when everyone was packing up to leave Taemin went into Kibum's room. He found the other boy folding his clothes and putting them in the backpack he'd brought. Taemin plopped down to sit on the bed.

Kibum turned to him. "What's up?"

Taemin knew what he wanted to ask Kibum, but he was also afraid of offending him. Kibum had a unique style, and he didn't want the other boy to think he was criticizing him.

"I know this is kind of random, but I've just been thinking about it a lot lately, and I'm curious to hear your opinion on it." He spit out before he could talk himself out it.

Kibum looked at him seriously. He put his clothes down and sat down on the bed next to Taemin, leaning back against the wall.

"I'm pretty open minded, unless you're here to tell me you want to adopt a squirrell." He smirked.

Taemin looked at him. He liked Kibum's smirks. He liked his playful nature.

"Do you think you should care what other people think about what you wear? Like do you dress a certain way to make a statement to people or something?"

As he watched Kibum furrow his brows in thought Taemin was on edge. He was chanting in his head, "Please don’t take this the wrong way. Please don’t take this the wrong way."

"It's kind of complicated for me." Kibum finally answered, but his reply made Taemin even more confused and on edge.

"Some of it's kind of personal, but it basically comes down to that I dress myself for myself. I'm not trying to impress anyone or draw attention to myself. I wear what I like and what makes me feel comfortable. I like trying out new things and being creative, but that's all for me. " He stopped before adding, "Why do you ask?"

Taemin sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Just like you said, it's complicated. I guess I was curious cause I was thinking about how people perceive me based on how I dress, and cause you have a really unique style and seem pretty confident in it I was curious if you'd be able to help me."

Kibum frowned, "Is something bothering you? I know we haven't known each other for that long, but you can tell me anything."

Taemin internally facepalmed. Why did Kibum have to be so understanding? Now he would definitely have to talk about it.

"I don't even really understand it myself. Well, I sort of do, but I don't know other people who feel this way. I like to dress nice cause it makes me feel good and I like the types of clothes I wear, but I hate the way it makes people look at me." He paused, figuring out how best to say the next part. "I'm sick of being seen as just an object or a pretty face or something. I don't mean this in a stuck up way. Just, why aren't people ever interested in getting to know me cause they like my personality instead of getting to know me cause they think I'm hot? It's so frustrating."

Kibum looked like his heart had stopped. Taemin instantly regretted it. Kibum obviously thought he was self centered or just really weird. Who wouldn't want people to think they were hot?

"Forget about it. I know, it's stupid." He said, shaking his head and getting up off the bed to leave so he didn't have to see Kibum's shocked face any longer. He was so dumb for thinking that someone else might understand.

Before he could make it to the door Kibum's hand reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Taemin, no, you don't understand. I don't think it's stupid."

He turned around to look questioningly at Kibum. Was he making fun of him?

"What do you mean?" He asked quietly.

Kibum looked shier than Taemin had ever seen him look.

"I-I was just surprised to hear you say that cause it's exactly how I feel. Well, I mean it's different, cause I dress the way I do to discourage people from objectifying me so I don't actively have to deal with people treating me like that but I completely understand what you mean. And it can be so frustrating." He spoke fast and quiet, looking at the floor, and forcing Taemin to have to concentrate on his moving lips.

"Kibum." Taemin all but whispered. He softly touched his friend's chin to lift his head and bring them eye to eye. "Thank you for telling me that."

Kibum tried to look away, but he couldn't. Taemin's eyes were piercing him with their sincerity. He felt himself being pulled into a soft hug and he almost melted into Taemin's arms. His mind exploded with questions.

Wasn't this supposed to end with him comforting Taemin? How did it end up this way? Was this platonic? Did Taemin like him, or was he just being a good friend?

Author's Note: Hello again^^ I hope you're all staying warm in this cold weather. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Maybe the end part is too dramatic with them being insecure about this one little thing, but at the same time it's something that's really personal for both of them, so I think it makes sense for them to feel apprehensive to talk about it. Feel free to leave comments. They help me to know what types of things you like to read, and how I can improve. <3 Have a nice day.