An Ode

  
 
12.
 
He meets the skinny boy at twelve. The boy says hello.
He looks at the boy. He’s just another trainee. He’s nothing special. 
Then the boy talks about music and he pays attention to the rookie. 
He sees him in another light. 


 
His new friend’s name is Kwon Jiyong.
 
 
 
13.
 
 

Spring, summer, fall, winter. A thousand and one comebacks pass. 
He’s still folding costumes and mopping floors; Jiyong is counting folded wons.
They're gifts from the president for the rap lyrics, Jiyong says. 
He shakes his head in reply then goes to wipe the window's glass.
Jiyong comes over and takes the rag. 
They go shopping in Dongdaemun.
 
 
Next time, it’s going to be his treat.
 
 
 
14.
 

They choose a name for their duo.
Jiyong says they’ll be BNW. 
He raises an eyebrow.
Jiyong says it means black and white
They’re two ends of a spectrum -he agrees.
And they spend the next few hours talking. 
Who gets black? Who gets white?  
The president comes.
 
 
They settle for GDYB.
 
 
 
19.

Lie is a hit. And they celebrate with their group.
But maybe he shouldn’t have been so happy. 
Maybe he should have cried in sorrow instead.

The tears of joy now tastes bitter.
  
The boy that he knew disappears right before his eyes.  
 
 
 
20.
 

Hyuksoo calls. Nuthang wants to go clubbing.
Jiyong asks if he wants to come. 
His answer is the usual; He doesn’t add what’s really in his mind. 
He doesn’t mix with the people Jiyong parties with.
 
Jiyong doesn’t push, unlike the countless other times he’s asked.
Instead, he just nods.
 
Kwon Jiyong calls Yang Gaeng.
 
 
20.


He’s reading 10 Points of Smiling in one corner of the room.
Big Bang promotion is over. Everybody’s gone home.
But he stays behind to practice more.
 
He stares at the floor. They used to mop it until it shone as bright as his name.  
And he allows himself to think: Is he gone? 
Part of him shouts YES.  Part of him whispers NO. 

Where’s the Jiyong who cleaned those rooms with him? 
Where's the Jiyong that he knows?

He's buried underneath the make-up and the clothes.
He's behind the beer, the parties, the smoke. 
 
 
He shakes his head. He doesn’t understand. 
Does the game really change a person's heart that fast?
 
 
MAYBE is all the answer he has.
 
 
20.


He’s in the bathroom. His shoulders knot with tension.  
Someone knocks. He opens the door.
Jiyong pulls him out; Jiyong says two words.
The knots disappear and he stands on the stage alone.
 
 
He sings a Prayer.
 
 
21.
 
The news comes in.  There are me2day comments and comparisons.
They're all saying this: The beats are the same!  He’s stealing someone else’s song!  
Links are shared and the articles multiply. So he worries and then asks. 
And typical of Jiyong, he ignores the questions. 
He’s too busy to think about harmless antis.
 

Jiyong works on his songs and practices til morning.
 
 
 
21.
 
Jiyong’s phone is ringing. But all he gets is a voicemail. 
He rings his doorbell. No one’s home.
So he goes to YG. The recording studio is open.
He sees Jiyong - eyes red, hands shaking. 
And he says the two words he heard from him that day.
 
 
“It’s ok.”
 
 
22.
 
Black, white and silver. The room of Hearts is full of crosses. 
A Wedding song is playing in the background; the sales person is smiling at him. 
He tells Jiyong to choose.
Jiyong hands him an armful of bands. 
They go to the counter.
 
 
It’s his turn to pay.
 
 
22.
 

He meets the skinny boy at Abiko.  The boy says hello and he greets him back.
The boy isn’t just another trainee.  He’s something special.
Then the boy talks about new music. And he listens to a veteran.
He sees him in another light.



His old friend’s name is Kwon Jiyong.
 
 
12.
 
To the one who stays constant. To the one who always moves.
To a friendship that’s forever. To something that is true.
For the 12 year olds who met more than 120 months ago.
 
10 years in 12 parts.

An Ode.