Sarah Pov

It didn't take me long to get to London and the first thing I did was collapse in a hotel. I did not go to any hotels that YG Ent usually goes to. After all, I wanted to avoid detection and knowing Taeyang, he will surely find a way to look for me if he had wanted to. But I realised that it has been awhile since he wanted to even get together and that hurt a lot.

Nothing ever lasts forever
In the end, you changed
There is no reason, no sincerity
Take away such a thing as love
Tonight, I’ll be crooked

Leave me alone
I was alone anyway
I have no one, everything is meaningless
Take away the sugar-coated comfort
Tonight, I’ll be crooked

I looked up the nearest club so I could go there, have a few drinks and maybe learn to forget about Taeyang. It was only six months that we got together officially but he said he will never do to me what Jiyong did so it hurt even more. I even chose Taeyang over Seunghyun and Seunghyun has never hurt me ever. It did make me wonder if I chose wrongly but in all honesty, even if I had chose Seunghyun, I knew my heart was not fully there in love with him so I would rather myself be hurt than to hurt someone else.

I scream and get dizzy
I vent out of boredom to other couples
I start fights for no reason like a town gangster
Sometimes, I purposely shake my leg, crookedly
The main characters of the movie called this world is you and me
A lonely island, lost and wandering
The empty streets are filled with those who are alone
Unlike my heart, the weather is so damn nice

I used to believe in you alone and I was happy
But like a joke, I am left alone
You used to promise me with your pinky finger
But in the end

Nothing ever lasts forever
In the end, you changed
There is no reason, no sincerity
Take away such a thing as love
Tonight, I’ll be crooked

Leave me alone
I was alone anyway
I have no one, everything is meaningless
Take away the sugar-coated comfort
Tonight, I’ll be crooked

For once, London had such beautiful weather and it made my heart ache even more. Taeyang had promised to visit London and Paris with me once his schedule and mine was free. It never did happen as when he was free, I wasn't and when I was free, he was off to another country or another shoot or another recording again. It made me wonder if our promises were even real and if Yuri was better than me. Who knows, maybe her ing was better than mine or maybe she was more available than I was. Sajangnim had promised me time off as soon as Winner had finished WWIC but now that I had run off yet again, I don't even know if I have a place to go back to anymore. Sajangnim has been very forgiving but yet I feel so bad that I just keep running off whenever I got hurt.

This time was even more drastic, I did not even leave a letter or pack up my stuff or even leave my keys to anyone. I don't even know how long would I stay in London for. I was supposed to accompany CL back to the states once her holiday was up as she was due to start promotions for her US debut. Even Taeyang did not know about this but sajangnim offered me to start up the social media division of YG Ent in America as he was due to set up a base there to facilitate the debuts of any YG Ent artistes in the states as well as recruit talented Korean-American stars to join the American division of YG Ent.

CL was signed with Scott but sajangnim wanted me there to give her backup and support. He felt it would be better to have someone who knows the workings of YG Ent and also spoke English to help CL out in case of anything. I wanted to tell Taeyang personally but he never came to see me in such a long time and I did not know how to tell him that I was leaving his side indefinitely. I guess it was for the best that I caught him and Yuri together because that surely solved some awkward moments.

I’ll put on thick eyeliner, use a whole can of hairspray
Leather pants, leather jacket with a frown
I want to hide my pain and become even more crooked
So you can feel sorry, I’ll spit toward the sky
You’re scared of my crude words and my rough eyes
But actually, I’m afraid, I want to go back but I have nowhere to go
I want to love but no one to love, what am I supposed to do?
I can’t turn it back

I used to believe in you alone and I was happy
But like a joke, I am left alone
You used to promise me with your pinky finger
But in the end

Nothing ever lasts forever
In the end, you changed
There is no reason, no sincerity
Take away such a thing as love
Tonight, I’ll be crooked

Leave me alone
I was alone anyway
I have no one, everything is meaningless
Take away the sugar-coated comfort
Tonight, I’ll be crooked

I got all dressed up and went to a club that I knew some of YG Ent people frequented. I may not want to be detected but if anything happens, at least I know that someone I know might find me there. It was just fitting that Jiyong's song was playing cause I really felt that way. I may not kiss someone else or start a fight but drinking and trying to forget may just be a start. Suddenly I felt someone pulling me aside, I looked up to see it was Mino. I forgot that Mino was dating CL, obviously he found out that I was in London. 

He just handed me an envelope and said that sajangnim instructed him to find me while WWIC was in London. He decided to come earlier to pass me the envelope. He just told me that it contains flight tickets to US leaving the next morning, working visa for me and the details of my apartment in LA. Only he, CL and sajangnim knows that I will be going to LA straight and support CL's debut promotions. Sajangnim has instructed everyone to remain silent about my US work. Mino also said that sajangnim allows me to stay in US indefinitely and he will assign someone else to handle Taeyang or the whole Big Bang for any US tours or promotions. 

After that he slipped me a note and told me to not open it if I'm not ready. He gave me a hug and just left. I opened the note only to find Taeyang's neat handwriting along with what looks likes tears that smudged what he wrote. All it said was " I don't deserve your forgiveness and your disappearance is my wake up call. I love you and I will never forget you."

Will you not say anything for me tonight?
I didn’t know being alone would be this hard (I miss you)
Will you be my friend tonight?
On this good day, this beautiful day, this day where I miss you
Tonight, I’ll be crooked

I cried as I packed up my stuff in my luggage at my hotel room after I left the club. I slipped the note in my purse and got ready to leave London for LA.

Sayurimei and Chicklet, hope you guys won't kill me this time :)