Giving the restaurant a very long and a very dubious look, Jaejoong groaned.

He felt like he was walking in someone else’s shoes which in this case was not far from truth as these were Yoochun’s shoes he was wearing.

What was he so worried about? It’s not like this was a date. It was a dinner courtesy of him being pathetic and almost crying in front of a stranger. There was nothing more to it. There would be no regrets and no sorrow because there was nothing to expect.

‘Try answering only the things you’re asked about’

‘But-’

‘Yoochun’s prepared a list of topics you can discuss’

‘Seriously?’

‘Whatever happens- smile!’

‘My cheeks hurt'

‘Go go go!’

And with that Junsu had shoved him out of the house and into the taxi.

‘Don’t come back today!’

How could that be encouraging? Junsu had no shame.

Jaejoong looked at his phone and groaned. He had arrived early and as a rule he never arrived early. His pride as a man depended on him being late but, then again, he had no pride as a man so he couldn't lose anything even if he broke his own rules.

What worried him more was that Yunho may get the wrong idea and think he was trying too hard.

Sure, he was wearing his best shirt and those were Yoochun’s designer shoes and then there was Junsu’s new jacket which was a bit too tight in the shoulders and a bit too loose around his waist...

Oh, who was he kidding? Yunho couldn't possibly not get the wrong idea because every idea of him was wrong. Jaejoong looked ready to marry.

Curse you Junsu and your that-is-not-an-outfit-you-can-wear-on-a-proper-date. This isn't even a date!

A minute passed and then another one and after having idled around for twenty more minutes Jaejoong wondered if maybe his date was not going to show up. Not that this was a date or anything or that he would be disappointed ...or anything. It was no big deal, even if Yunho didn't show up.

Twenty five minutes in total and Jaejoong had lost hope.

He would never trust people again. The life of the lone wolf was the life for him. He were to die alone and a lone snail would come to crawl on his grave every rainy day and- he spotted his handsome date rushing towards him and his mind drew a blank.

Yunho was ing gorgeous while Jaejoong tried his best not to drool.

The taller skid to stop in front of him, completely out of breath, and looked up at him with a 'Ah, I’m sorry! I'm so so sorry. I hope you didn’t have to wait for long’

With that, everything was forgiven.

I was here early, moron, what are you apologizing for? was what Jaejoong would have normally said but then he remembered Junsu and his inhuman training and smiled instead, politely shaking his head.

‘Oh, no. It’s such a nice weather today’

'Weather's always a great conversation starter!' Junsu had sworn on his life while stuffing Jaejoong in his new jacket, ‘don’t think about it too much, just say it out loud and it will sound natural'

Yes. Very natural. Yunho’s confused face was a testament on how natural this was. Luckily, his I-totally-wish-but-he's-not-my-date wasn't easily shaken and snapped back to his confident self almost instantly, the confusion from his face gone.

Yunho was one quick fellow and Jaejoong liked that in a man.

‘Yes, yes, indeed, the weather is wonderful today. Maybe we should take a walk before we eat then?’

This was not part of the plan.

Jaejoong had an entire essay on topics he could talk about during dinner and things he had to comment on while at a table but he drew a complete blank when it came to walks in the parks. This was unfamiliar territory and totally out of question but how could he refuse without seeming rude? By Junsu's standarts all he had to do was smile so...

Jaejoong's smiled.

Having received no answer, Yunho scratched the back of his head and waited for a bit longer. Maybe the other hadn't understood?

‘Well, there’s a park nearby-’

I know, , Jaejoong kept smiling.

‘So we can go there’

No

And so they went, Jaejoong smiling like the expression had been surgically operated on his face all while panicking on the inside.

What now? Maybe he could call Junsu and ask for advice?

‘I really have to apologize for my behavior the other day’

But as long as Yunho was to one talking it would be alright.

‘-you see, I was taking my usual route home but then I spotted Changmin talking to someone. He’s a really difficult kid for his age and he never tells me anything so I'm always worried about everything. I have to apologize in advance but I gathered some information on you’

Ok, so his not-date had turned into a stalker. This was fine, totally fine, but why weren't there any people in this perfect-for-a-murder-scene park?

'You must find me weird, I’m sure-’

You bet

‘Noooooo, not at all’

‘-but I just want to have a bigger part in my brother’s life. We’ve been drifting apart these past few months and I wondered if there was something he’s been hiding from me or was afraid to talk about. I thought that maybe because I've been gay for all my life my brother was ashamed of me and didn't want to talk about relationships so I asked some of his friends in the football team-’

Damn you, Junsu, have you been telling my secrets to strange people?

'I was very surprised when I got to know about him trying to date a guy. I guess he's in this experimental phase because he's never shown interested before...I had not intended to bother you, though, so you must understand’

Jaejoong's mind was slowly drifting apart just like Yunho from his brother because that was one huge wall of text to process. He was tiring from all the smiling and nodding and Yunho's talking because, boy, did Yunho love to talk.

‘The next evening I was working late again so when I was on my way home I spotted you in that club and all of sudden something snapped and I forgot all about my manners or my common sense and just rushed there. I just- I was afraid you would hurt Changmin’

Aaaand here comes the brother complex. 

‘And I felt so relieved when I discovered that the two of you were not going out’

Charming

‘But don't misunderstand, please. It's not because I think you’re a bad person that I felt relieved. I’m so sorry if you have come to think that of me. What I meant was that I felt glad that you were not seeing anyone and- I just wanted to apologize. I hope that doesn’t make me seem like a really weird person-’

No, not at all

'But- you’re so quiet today. Is anything wrong?’

Right... Riiight.

Speaking. He had to say something in response.

‘It’s- wonderful weather today?’

This time Yunho looked at him as if he had lost his mind and that was the exact moment Jaejoong knew he had screwed up good.

Think!

There had to be something else to talk about beside the weather, right?

Think, Jaejoong, think!

They were in a park so he could talk about park things. What was the most natural thing that a park had? Trees.

'The trees are green’

Best observation ever, genius

‘And the grass-’

Now he was just getting silly.

'-is also green'

Jaejoong looked at Yunho's face of disbelief and he felt like crying. He was no good at talking and he was even worse at keeping quiet. He opened his mouth to say something but had already lost track of whatever he had wanted to say first so he just shut up, smiling and nodding instead.

God are these shoes uncomfortable

‘Uh,’ even Yunho couldn't recover from the spurs of an authentic idiot that fast, ‘maybe we should go back to the restaurant then? You must be hungry’

Jaejoong's eyes lit up because maybe he could show off his manners at the restaurant. But then again, if he sounded too eager it would make him seem like a hungry fool who was only after the free food.

‘No’ he deadpanned with a straight face.

That didn't sound much better.

‘Thank you’ he added as it that was going to fix everything.

From the looks of it, that didn't fix Yunho's permanently confused face. The guy rubbed at his forehead, looking around for help and searching for some kind of salvation. Something wasn't working here and Jaejoong bit his lip in frustration. He liked Yunho a lot and he wanted to be noticed but nothing worked. Why was this turning into something even worse than his regular dates?  

But of course! This isn't a date!

There it was, his clear answer. If this wasn't a date he didn't need to impress Yunho. And why the heck would he even listen to Junsu and especially Yoochun?

Screw this

‘No, actually, yes. Whatever. Let’s go eat’ he grabbed Yunho’s hand, taking pity on the confused man, and dragged him off to a nearby food stand.

Noodles were much more to his taste than the fancy restaurant Yunho had picked out.

‘You can buy me dinner and I will accept your apology’ he said with mischief dancing in his eyes, ‘but only if I get the biggest meal there is’

Whatever Yunho had been thinking so far was lost, and the confusion disappeared from his face, it blooming into a completely disarming smile instead.

‘I’ll be honored to do that’

---

They were sitting at the canal, watching people and eating snacks.

Strangers passed them by and awkward conversations had been avoided for several hours.

‘That one's a ert’ Jaejoong commented as he pointed to an elderly man with a young girl by his side.

‘Oh, come on, that's a completely normal family. You don't even know them, she could be his daughter’ Yunho bumped Jaejoong's arm, shaking his head in disapproval ‘your brain works in mysterious ways'

'And you're too innocent,' Jaejoong sneered when the couple started face, 'no man kisses his daughter like that’

Yunho put his hands up in defeat, laughing heartily. Before he had managed to add anything, Jaejoong was already pointing in another direction, this time targeting a young woman standing under a tree, impatiently watching the clock.

‘She must be waiting for her lover and he's running late and she's worried that her husband will discover her affair’

At that Yunho just rolled his eyes, scooting closer. His leg bumped against the other's and the heat from Jaejoong's body seeped into his own. He had enough of this people-watching.

‘Ok then, genius. How about me? Care to evaluate?’

Jaejoong turned his head, surprised at the sudden closeness.

Yunho was gorgeous up close and he made him feel dizzy and light-headed and suddenly nervous.

‘Uh, well, I don't know. It's not a good idea’

‘Why?’

‘I may end up offending you’

Like I usually do

Yunho shook his head, loose bangs falling on his forehead, causing a restless itch in Jaejoong's fingers asking him to reach over and thread through the soft hair.

‘Impossible. You cannot offend me’

With a sad smile Jaejoong looked away. That’s what they all said but once they got to know him better they changed their minds. They all said he was too difficult to deal with- besides, this was no date.

‘You’re saying those things just because you don't know me. Everyone gets offended at something’

Yunho shrugged, seemingly indifferent to the comment.

‘Ok, fine, that may be true. Then, can I say what I have observed about you?’

‘Uh’ was this really a good idea? ‘sure’

‘Well then,’ Yunho grabbed Jaejoong's face and turned it towards himself. He was holding onto Jaejoong's shoulder with his other arm and Woah he was way too close.

‘I see this handsome, no, more than that... I see this absolutely stunning guy inside and out who is funny and easy-going and is so afraid of speaking his mind that he makes a fool out of himself more times than not. I see this amazingly beautiful human being who's trying so hard to please everyone that he ends up pleasing nobody'

Jaejoong's eyes widened. What? What was going on? Had his fairy godmother finally risen from the grave and sent him his goddamned prince charming? Because he was charmed. This was charming and Yunho's face was so close he could feel the breathe on his lips.

'I see you, Kim Jaejoong. A guy who doesn’t realize that if people cannot appreciate him for who he is, it’s their problem and not his. Maybe he’s lonely and maybe he doesn’t let people close but hopefully he hasn’t found that one person who can see past all his nonsense. You know why? Because that person would never let him go’ and with that Yunho smiled full-heartedly, his hand retreating from the other's face.

‘How was it?’

‘Woah, maaaan-’

Jaejoong was out of words. Nobody had ever said anything close to that. Best he'd ever gotten was something like 'you're so ing pretty' muttered in the heat of the moment but this was of a completely different caliber. Yunho was on a completely different caliber than anyone he had ever met. Was he even human?

‘Maaaan. That was-’ he wanted to say amazing and inspiring and I want to spend the rest of my life with you but all that came out was- ‘lame’

He couldn't. He just couldn't. As amazing as the speech had been it was also so. ing. cheesy.

Much to his surprise Yunho laughed and Jaejoong could't help laughing with him. They must have looked like two idiots and Jaejoong wanted to throw himself in the river but Yunho seemed unbothered and that was all that mattered.

---

It was getting late, the evening sky colouring red, and Jaejoong felt like he had never lived before. His heart was full and heavy and he could barely breathe.

An apology

This was just an apology. There was nothing more to it. There would be no sorrow and no disappointment if he never expected anything.

They were standing on a small bridge, watching the sun go down and for a moment longer he could ignore the reality and pretend that he was in a romantic yet heart -breaking drama.

‘So-’

Then Yunho opened his mouth saying the words Jaejoong feared.

‘-I hope you had a good evening’

Why could he never shut that big trap?

Guess that’s where this all ends

If he could spend a bit more time with this amazing, amazing human being maybe he could change and maybe he could become a better person because of him-

Just let it go, Jae, don’t get your hopes up. Deal with this like a man or you will get hurt 

‘Sure. It was totally cool, man’ 

Was there really not an ounce of romance in him? Couldn’t he have said that this was the best time he’s spent with somebody in ages and that only Junsu had managed to make him so happy and giddy before? Couldn’t he beg for another evening like this? Begging wasn't all that bad, right? Couldn't he say anything at all? 

‘Here’ 

Jaejoong blinked and was given a small card, his fingers burning from the brush of Yunho's fingers against his own. He examined the paper carefully and it appeared to be some kind of a business card. 

‘And this is?’ 

‘Well-’ for the first time since he met the man, Yunho seemed hesitant, his hand fidgeting with the buttons of his jacket, ‘there’s my phone number on it so if you feel like it-’ 

Oh. No way. Jaejoong's heart started to race. 

‘Maybe you could call me sometimes and we could, you know-’ 

If this was a horse race, his heart was the winner. 

‘-go on a proper date or something?’ 

Ding-ding-ding. He could hear wedding bells ringing and doves flying off in the clouds. 

'What do you say?' Yunho looked at him with those irresistible eyes and all Jaejoong could think was how much he wanted to belong to this man completely and forever and ever till the eternity of time. He opened his mouth to say that he wanted that more than anything and that this had been everything but all that came out instead was- 

'Sure, man. That would be cool' 

---

Two figures were lying on the bed, a thick darkness surrounding them. 

‘Junnie, you're sleeping?’ one of them asked, his voice small. There was silence, then a faint sound of someone turning around. 

‘Yes, Chunny, I was’ 

‘Oh’

Some more silence. 

‘Do you think the date went well?’ 

‘Yes, Chun, I think it went well’ 

The answer was not immediate but it came eventually. For good five minutes things were calm again. 

‘Do you think Jaejoong can fall in love, Su?’ 

There was a quiet chuckle. 

‘Love? Knowing Jae? Probably not but you never know, maybe there will be a miracle. Now sleep, honey’ 

This time it took about ten minutes for the silence to be interrupted. 

‘Junnie? But maybe you could- you know- uncuff me now, please?’ 

It seemed like nobody was going to answer this one until Junsu's wicked voice rang clear in the darkness.

‘No, Chunny,’ there was some more tossing and turning before it became completely still, ‘and if you don’t stop talking I will put the gag back in’ 

--- 

The End 

 

Extra: 

After coming home Jaejoong felt like flying. Such a gorgeous guy had asked him out so maybe there was hope for everyone. He turned round and round on his heel until he felt dizzy and fell onto his bed, grabbing the pillow and squeezing it tightly. 

What was this feeling? Was it love? Was it? He sure was acting like a freaking teenage girl so it had to be. Just thinking about Yunho made his blood boil and his body shiver and all he could think was how much he wanted to touch him. 

‘Yuuuno’ Jaejoong sighed and closed his eyes, wanting to feel those beautiful hands all over his body and that mouth, oh, his mouth ... 

But wait. 

Jaejoong's eyes flew open and he sat up. Wasn’t Changmin Yunho's brother? Didn’t he tell him he’s a snob and a stuck up motherer during their first and only date? Didn’t Changmin wish him eternal damnation and swear to be his life-long nemesis and make his life a living hell if they ever met again? 

Yes, yes, he could clearly remember all those things happening in a very heated discussion not that long time ago. Oh well. 

‘Just my luck’ Jaejoong sighed and punched his pillow, ‘but you just wait, Changmin, you just wait’ 

Whatever brother complex he would have to deal with in the future, he was going to beat it down like a man. Like a man who was not afraid to beg and cry and whine if necessary.

---

 

 

A/N: If you think Jaejoong is really stupid in this story... well, to put it kindly, he probably dropped out of the kindergarten so... Well, and this is the end of this story but I will continue with more or less the same in a different story only, uh, more dramatic? Eh, whatever. The sequel is Drawback