January, 23 3:57 am

                At night, I’m sad. I’m sad because my mind can’t stop thinking. Can’t stop thinking of you and can’t stop creating scenarios in my head. I miss you but it doesn’t hit me until night time. I miss us together. I miss the memories. I want to create more, but it’s impossible because you don’t feel the same anymore. I’m sad because   I want to move on, but I can’t. I’m stuck in these “what if’s” thoughts. What if you still have feelings for me, what if you still like me, what if it still works out between us, but I know it’s all in my head. I’m sad because I want to be happy. I want to be able to go to sleep at night and just think of how happy I am. I just want to move on and live a day without thinking of you. Maybe when that day comes, there won’t be any more night that I’ll be up and sad.

-XM

                Kyungsoo had found the letter/diary entry while he was cleaning their room. At first he didn’t know it belonged to Xiumin he thought it was just a piece of scrap paper that had been misplaced. Then he read it and saw the signature at the end. Xiumin had written it with the intensions of keeping the piece of paper to himself. He wasn’t supposed to read it.

                When they first met Xiumin was still getting over his ex-boyfriend who had left him for someone else.  Kyungsoo had gained his trust and eventually fell in love with him and even confessed. They’d only been together for over a year but they already lived together and were happy. The letter didn’t have a year attached to the date so he didn’t know if it was meant to be about Luhan or someone before him. In reality he didn’t really even want to know who it was about because they had hurt Xiumin.

                He put the paper in the drawer of the bedside table and continued to clean the bedroom. He didn’t plan on confronting Xiumin about it; he wasn’t supposed to read it to begin with so he just let it go. Once he was done cleaning he went out into the living room where Xiumin was finishing up vacuuming.

“All done?”

“Mmhmm”

“What do you want for lunch?”

“Are you taking me out?”

“I can cook.”

“Last time you cooked you forgot about the pizza in the oven and burnt it till it disintegrated.”

“Soo that was one time. Besides you were distracting me.”

“And how many times do you distract me while I’m cooking.”

“But you’re a pro, it’s different.”

“No it’s not.”

“Fine, whatever I’m not making you anything anymore.”

                Kyunsoo went over and wrapped his arms around him and kissed him behind his ear.

“Whatever you make will be delicious. Please cook for me. hmm? Please Minnie.”

“Fine.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Good, I was starting to think that you didn’t love me anymore since you haven’t cooked in so long.”

“Well why do I need to cook when I have you. I mean who would rather eat instant noodles over something made by a professional chef.”

“I would, especially if the ramen’s made by you for me.”

                Xiumin turned around and wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo and kissed him on the cheek. He repeated the notion until Kyungsoo turned to capture his lips. They stood there in the middle of their living room kissing before Xiumin pulled away needing to breath. Kyungsoo continued to kiss his exposed shoulder and neck.

“I love it when you wear tank tops. It lets me see more of your skin.”

“You’re a ert.”

“Only for you.”

“Good. You can’t on anyone else, ever. Got it?”

“Got it.”

“Are you going to let me go? I still have to cook you know.”

“Just a little bit longer, your new body wash smells really good.”

                Xiumin let out a small laugh before engulfing Kyunsoo in his arms just rocking them back and forth almost dancing in a way.  Kyungsoo pulled away and kissed Xiumin’s lips before letting him go. They walked towards the kitchen as Xiumin began to cook and Kyungsoo just watched him from the breakfast bar.

“You’re not helping me?”

“Nope, I prefer watching you. Besides your love wouldn’t be in everything.”

“Yea right, you’re just lazy.”

“Maybe I am or maybe I just really like watching you. I mean it’s a beautiful sight I want to appreciate it as much as I can.”

                Xiumin let out a laugh before continuing with his cooking.  Kyungsoo watched as Xiumin got everything ready and began making a salad and then grilling the chicken. Once he was done he put their lunch on their plates and gave a plate to Kyungsoo as he sat next to him.

“See, everything you touch has love and it makes it even better than it already is.”

“It’s a salad Kyungsoo. It’s not some magical meal.”

“But it is. Because you made it for me.”

                Xiumin just looked downed at his plate as his ears turned pink. Kyungsoo planted a kiss onto his ear. He pulled Xiumin’s head onto his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around him.

“Min?”

“Hmm?”

“What do you think of cats?”

“Their nice I guess. Why?”

“Do you want to adopt a kitten?”

                Xiumin’s head shot up as he turned to look at Kyungsoo.

“Really? You want to adopt a kitten.”

“Yea. Besides its kind of obvious that you want one too since you keep watching reruns of Too Cute on the Animal Planet.”

“Baby. I love you.”

“I love you too Min.”

“When are we going?”

“Whenever you’re done getting ready.”

                Xiumin shot up out of his seat before running into their bedroom to get ready, but he only made it half way into the hall way before he turned around ran back to give Kyungsoo a kiss. Then he ran back towards their bedroom to get changed. Kyungsoo continued to eat and finished his food as he looked up adoption centers nearby. When he heard the bedroom door open he saw Xiumin walk out changed and his hair styled.  

“Ready?”

“Yep!”

“Okay, let me just put the dishes in the sink.”

                Kyungsoo cleaned up the kitchen a bit before going towards Xiumin, who was sitting on the couch. He went behind him and hugged him. He kissed the top of his head before Xiumin turned and got on his knees while on the couch.  He leaned down to give him a small peck but Xiumin held onto him making the kiss last longer.  Once they pulled away Xiumin still had his eyes closed but he let out a sigh and smiled.

“I’m so lucky to have you. You’re perfect.”

“Not really, but I’ll take it. And in reality I’m the lucky one. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in my life.”

“Not even when you got your job at the restaurant?”

“That day was the happiest day of my life until I met you, then it didn’t really mean anything.”

                Xiumin buried his face into Kyungsoo’s chest as he let out a small whine.

“We need to stop. Or else we’ll really become as cheesy as my sister wants us to be.”

“What’s wrong with being cheesy? I thought you loved cheesy.”

“I do but it’s scary.”

“What’s scary?”

“Just how cheesy we’re getting when we used to be so serious all the time.”

“I like it like this more.”

“Why?”

“Because every time I tell you I love you, you give me a kiss instead of how when we first said it we’d just look down and blush like high schoolers.”

                Xiumin pulled back and smiled. He stood up from the couch and began making his way towards the door. Halfway he turned back and held out his hand for Kyungsoo to take. They held hands until they had to tie their shoes but afterwards they held hands all the way to the adoption center a couple blocks away.

                They looked at a couple different shelters before finally feeling comfortable enough to play with the kittens instead of just holding them.  Xiumin hadn’t fallen in love with a kitten either. He’d liked some but he wasn’t completely in love with one yet.  When they got to the next shelter a small girl was playing with the cats that roamed free around instead of being in cages. The girl was no older that six. She saw them come in and waved at them.

“Do you want a kitty?”

                Both nodded at her and then they felt her tug on their shirts to follow her.  She brought them to a corner in of the shelter and sat down in front of a cat bed. She picked up what they assumed to be the mom and began caressing her. She began talking to it as well almost soothing the cat that they wouldn’t harm her babies.

“Look, she had five. They’re all really cute.”

                Xiumin crouched down to look at the kittens in the bed. And he saw that they in fact were really cute. They were all a different shade ranging from white to silver.

“You can pick them up if you want. Just be careful, they’re still getting the hang of life.”

                Kyungsoo laughed a little at her comment.  He sat down next to her and began petting the mom cat and he let Xiumin look at the kittens. To him it didn’t matter what they got as long as Xiumin was happy.

“Can I hold her?”

“Yea. Here.”

                The little girl then moved to be next to Xiumin as she picked up one of the kittens. A bell rang and the little girl looked towards the sound.

“Daddy, they want a kitten.”

                The man that had just walked in smiled at his daughter and went over to them.

“What can I help you with?”

“We’re looking for a kitten. We’re not exactly sure what we want though.”

“We’ll these are ragdoll kittens so they like being held and don’t mind being held for long periods of time.”

“Min?”

“They’re perfect.”

“They’re only six weeks old so they’re still going to grow a lot. However one of them is still really small. He was the last one to be born and came out really small. We were afraid that he might not make it, but he’s a trooper.”

                Xiumin looked for the smallest one amongst the kittens and saw a small half silver half white kitten that was significantly smaller than the rest.  He held him and then put him in his lap and began to caress the kitten and he just fell asleep. He continued to caress him as he paid attention to the others. The little girl had taken a hold of the mom from Kyungsoo’s grasp and began playing with her. Xiumin looked up from the kittens and looked at Kyungsoo.

“Soo, I think I want him. He’s perfect.”

                Kyungsoo nodded and then looked up to shop keeper.

“We’ll take the little guy.”

                The shop keeper nodded and looked at Xiumin petting him.

“He’s in great hands. I’m happy he’s getting adopted. Especially being the smallest of them all.”

“He’s going to be our first pet together.”

                The shop keeper hadn’t really realized that they were a couple before but once Kyungsoo said that he looked at them with pure excitement and joy.

“Congratulations. “

                They filled out the paperwork to adopt the kitten and then bought everything needed so that the kitten could grow properly. They then went over all the procedures that needed to be taken while at home. Almost an hour later Kyungsoo and Xiumin walked out with the kitten and a bunch of toys and essential for the kitten. They hadn’t filed the name because they wanted to think of it seriously.

                Once they got home they set up the bed and took the kitten out so he’d sleep on the bed instead.

“What should we name him?”

“I don’t know. He’s quiet for sure, and really calm compared to the other kittens.”

“I didn’t even see him until the owner pointed him out.  He was all hidden underneath the others and the blankets.”

“He’s kind of like you in the morning. Hiding in the covers.”

“Hey, I do not hide.”

“Of course you don’t, and I’m not a real chef.”

“Haha. So really what should we name him?”

“Minsoo.”

“Minsoo?”

“It’s a combination of our names. Xiumin and Kyungsoo.”

“ I like it.”

“So, Minsoo it is.”

“mm”

                They laid down on the floor watching the kitten sleep in its bed. Xiumin had put one of the small plush toys in its bed and the kitten had gotten a hold of it and was hugging it. Kyungsoo began whispering to Minseok.

“Min?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For giving me the feeling that people write stories about.”

“Are they good feelings?”

“Yea.”

“Then you’re welcome.”

                Xiumin hadn’t taken his eyes off of Minsoo as he talked to Kyungsoo but he could feel Kyungsoo looking at him the entire time. When he finally turned he saw Kyunsoo’s eyes glaze over. They sparkled. He sat up and brought Kyungsoo up with him. He had Kyunsoo sit against the couch and he sat in between his legs. He leaned against him and began playing with his hands as a distraction for him not to cry.

“Thank you for fixing me, when I thought it wasn’t possible.”

                He felt a small kiss on his shoulder.

“Thank you for being with me.”

                A kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you for staying.”

                A kiss on his nose.

“Thank you for being my happiness.”

                And finally a kiss on his lips.

                They stayed like that for a while till they heard a small whimper leave Minsoo. They looked at him seeing him wake up. He stretched out and began looking around.

“Just like you in the mornings.”

                Xiumin just hit his arm lightly before crawling over and picking up Minsoo in his hands. He held him close and then scooted back to where he was before. Kyungsoo brought his arms around him and began speaking to the kitten like he could understand him.  Minsoo just looked up at them and grabbed a hold of Xiumin’s finger and began on it.

“Are you hungry? Soo can you get me his food? It’s in the bag next to the couch.”

“Sure.”

                He leaned over to grab the bag and gave him the food. Minsoo was let down and placed in front of the bowl with his food. He began to eat and was done pretty quickly. He began walking around the living room exploring his new home. He seemed to take a liking to a spot where the sun shone through the window and caused the floor to warm up. As he lay on his back he began to swat at the dust particles that could be seen.

                The rest of the day Xiumin and Kyungsoo just lazed around watching Minsoo become fascinated with every new thing he found.  They watched a movie as Minsoo took another nap on Kyungsoo’s lap with him being petted. Once they were going to bed Xiumin placed Minsoo’s bed next to theirs and placed him in it before climbing into bed. When they woke up in the morning Minsoo wasn’t in his bed. He was on their bed sleeping underneath the covers on top of Kyungsoo’s chest.

                Xiumin tried to wake up Kyungsoo without waking up the kitten so he could see. Once Kyunsoo finally registered what he was supposed to be seeing he grabbed his phone from the night stand and the camera. He told Xiumin to get in the frame so they’d have a picture of their first morning together as a family.

“First family picture together.”

“F-Family?”

“Mhmm.”

                Kyungsoo wasn’t paying much attention to Xiumin as he was trying to send the picture to his family. When he was done he turned to Xiumin and saw a scared look on his face.

“What’s wrong?”

“You called us a family?”

“Do you not want to…”

“No, I do… it’s just we… you never mentioned it before. I didn’t know if you wanted…”

“I do.”

“Good.”

“Why?”

“Because I want you with me, for the rest of my life.”

                Kyungsoo took Minsoo off of his chest and put him on the pillow without waking him up. He leaned over to Xiumin and kissed him. The kisses became more and more heated. He got up over him and continued kissing him as he began to caress his side with his hand traveling down and then back up inside of his shirt.  He grazed his fingers over Xiumin’s and he felt his body lean up into the touch.  When they pulled away from the kiss a string of saliva still connected their lips.

“Gross.”

                Instead of saying anything Xiumin just leaned up for another kiss. Having his arms wrap around Kyungsoo’s neck to bring him down more. Kyungsoo felt Xiumin buck his hips up towards his. Without really thinking of where this was going he let himself go on autopilot and his hips dipped down to meet Xiumins. Xiumin let out a small sigh in relief while Kyungsoo just swallowed the rest of his noises.  Kyungsoo continued to grind down as he played with Xiumin’s s, they both continued until Kyungsoo’s phone began to ring. Kyungsoo just ignored it but Xiumin reached over and answered it not checking who it was.

“Hello?”

“Oh, Xiumin. Hi darling.”

“Hi Mrs. Do. How are you this morning?”

“I’m great thanks. I just wanted to see if you and Kyungsoo were busy today?”

                Kyungsoo pressed down slightly harder causing Xiumin to gasp and let out a small whine as his face contorted in pleasure.

“Are you alright sweetie?”

“I-I’m fine. The kitten just scratched me as he was stretching. And I don’t think we’ll be too busy today either.”

“Oh, that kitten is so cute. I’m glad you two are so happy together.  Oh, alright come over for dinner tonight, Kyungsoo’s dad has some big news he wants to tell us as a family and he said it has to be in person.”

“Alright. I’ll tell Kyungsoo about dinner.”

“Okay, take care. We’ll see you at around 6-ish?”

“Yea, 6 sounds great.”

“Alright see you them.”

“Bye.”

                Xiumin hung up the phone and sent an angry look at Kyungsoo but it didn’t last long because he began to on his neck.

“Why would you do that while I’m on the phone? With your mother might I add?”

“I didn’t ask you to answer it. Besides you were naughty answering the phone while we’re in the middle of something.”

                Xiumin couldn’t respond as he felt Kyungsoo’s hand make its way into his pajamas. He pulled him down for a kiss, their tongues massaging one another.  Xiumin let Kyungsoo’s tongue invade his mouth but then he began on it eliciting a small whimper from him. He pulled away and let Kyungsoo continue with what he was doing. Xiumin could feel himself get closer and closer to his until he felt a soft pay land on his cheek and heard a small meow next to his ear. They both looked at the source of the sound and saw Minsoo trying to climb up onto Xiumins head. Kyungsoo let go of Xiumin but still kept himself above him and began to pet Minsoo.

“Minsoo, baby, why did you have to wake up right now? Daddies are very busy.”

                Minsoo just looked up at him and meowed in his direction and cuddled into Xiumin’s hair.

“I guess our time’s cut short.”

“Or we can still finish.”

“No, I don’t Minsoo’s mind to be tainted. I’ll take care of myself.”

“He really is our baby now.”

                Kyungsoo let out a small chuckle before grabbing Minsoo off of Xiumins head and rolled onto the bed and began playing with him as he saw Xiumin get up and head towards the bathroom.  He began massaging the kitten’s paws and scratched him as he pleased. A couple minutes later Xiumin came out of the bathroom and saw Kyungsoo playing with Minsoo and wondered what he’d be like with kids. He crawled onto the bed to sit in front of Kyungsoo and began playing with Minsoo.

                They lay in bed until Minsoo decided he was hungry and wanted food. He leaped off of the bed onto the rug and then proceeded to walk towards the open door beckoning them to follow him. They followed and opened up one of the small cans of food and put it in his bowl. Minsoo approached the bowl sniffing it before eating it.

“What would you like for breakfast Minnie?”

“Anything’s fine.”

                Kyungsoo began cooking breakfast as Xiumin watched. He got up and walked towards Kyungsoo and hugged him from behind. He laid his head on his shoulder and began to rock their bodied from side to side slightly.

“Soo?”

“Hm?”

“I know we’ve only been together for a little over a year but… how do you feel about marriage?”

“I think marriage is a wonderful thing. Why?”

“Could you see yourself getting married someday to someone like me?”

“No.”

“oh”

“I want it to be you not just someone like you.”

                Xiumin let out a small sigh of relief and kissed Kyungsoo’s nape. He stayed like that moving with Kyungsoo as he needed to. When he was done Kyungsoo turned off the stove and turned around still in Xiumin’s grip. He wrapped his arms around his neck and danced along to the nonexistent music.

“Why are we meeting my mother tonight?”

“She said your dad had big news for the family. But the news has to be said in person.”

“Hmm I wonder what it is. The last time he held a family meeting was when he got promoted “

“Maybe he became the new boss.”

“Maybe.”

                They stopped dancing and pulled away to get their food in order to eat. They sat in the living room eating on the couch as they watched TV with Minsoo at their feet.  Once they finished eating they didn’t bother getting up to put their plates in the sink they just left them on the coffee table. Xiumin cuddled up into Kyungsoo as they just sat there. They didn’t need to talk at all times they just had to be together to have a good time, they didn’t even need to move. They were happy just as is.  After watching a random program and a movie Kyungsoo looked over at Xiumin and saw that he had fallen asleep. He ran his fingers through his hair and let out a sigh of contentment.

“If you’re serious about us getting married then I think I might have to call a family meeting pretty soon. I’m not letting you go.”

                He whispered it into Xiumin’s hair and then kissed the top of his head. He felt Minsoo cling onto his pant leg before jumping up to sit on his lap. He held his whole family in just his arms, it wasn’t big but he didn’t mind. He liked the comfort he felt with having Xiumin in his arms and MInsoo on his lap looking for a spot to nap on. 

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Because the Squishy couple need more love and attention. really this story really has no major point in it but i just wrote it because i felt like reading something like this but couldn't find any.