Title: If I Could Stay
Author: myangelteuk
Characters: Baekhyun and Chanyeol
Genre: Romance, Tragedy
Category: 
Status: Completed (23 Chap)
Description: Park Chanyeol knows that he doesn't have long to live. The cancer is slowly spreading and he knows that his time is coming near. To help ease the situation, a company called SM sent Chanyeol a person that will help him live his remaining time to the fullest. That person is part of the brand EXO and his name is Byun Baekhyun. But when Baekhyun arrived, Chanyeol thought there was some sort of mistake because he didn't want a guy, but a girl. The company said that Baekhyun was the only one available and that if he wanted someone else, he would have to wait. Not wanting to wait, he decides to take Baekhyun.
Everyone is destined to die and everyone is destined to love. Park Chanyeol doesn't have time to love because he is coming close to dying. Chanyeol, who doesn't believe that everyone is destined to love, ignores things that have to do with love. Since he knows that he doesn't have much more to live, he doesn't want to get close to anyone and leave them behind when he's gone. But when Baekhyun came, he couldn't help but get close to him.

Title (10/10):
The first thing I read and saw, when you did your request, were 1) The title & 2) The characters. The title does fit the story perfectly. It gives meaning to the story, as it already points you in the direction of what feelings you will have when you read this story. I didn't see many story yet with title. And even than, if there are stories with that title, every story will use it with a different meaning. As I sad before, the title triggered my curiosity and got my attention to start reading. I also must give you credits for the chapter titles that you used. I like them.

Description & Foreword (10/10):
The description is already given the readers a taste of what's coming. I like your description, you told the readers just enough, to encourage them to start reading your story. It's also not too long, as I said just enough. It made me curious to the rest of your story. The foreword is actually an addition to your description. You did a good job on those, because you didn't spoil the readers too much yet. Your foreword to me personally, is like a little character description already for Chanyeol.

Graphics (9/10): 
When reading your story, I found out you have actually 2 posters. Well I do think that poster one, would be the most suited for your story. And that's also the one you used as front poster. And you switched between both during the chapters/story. The poster is very light and does portray the feelings and the mood of story very well. I do like how the graphic designer made it like something you could put on a headstone on a grave. First, I must be honest, I didn't really like the poster. But than after watching it for a while, it occured to me that actually it was a good fit for your story. About the background, it is plain and simple and actually that's a good thing. I think, if it would be to occupied with photos and such as background,.. Well, it would be too much. The whole story, background and poster, has a kind of sincere serenity over it.

Character Development (9/10):
As it concerns a serious topic, you did a great job on portraying the characters as realistic as possible. You didn't gave us the idea to portray them in a way that it would seem superficial and like everything is alright. I don't want to spoil your story but when Chanyeol got sicker, the way you describe him and Baekhyun and all the characters around him was just as it supposed to be. I don't know if that make sense, but to me it does. Even the side characters are portrayed in a realistic way and in their behaviour. As the story goes on, there are some smaller impacts by the characters but than the end.. well.. Go and Read the story for that! ^^ I'm not going to spoil anything.

Appearance (8/10):
The font is not too large. It's big enough to read your story. The story is well structured and actually very easy to follow. I do like how you did a bit of a chapter layout in your story. But actually that gets completely lost into the background as your background is using the simple design from the poster. The design of your chapter and your backgrounds flows into eachother. Sidenote: Please, could you check what happened with the layout of chapter 15. Apparently something went wrong there. That chapter is not very enjoyable to read, in that sense that everything flows over into the background.

Originality & Plot (9/10):
The story to me doesn't sound cliché. The reason is the topic that you write about. That topic isn't used that much here in the stories on AFF. I do like the Authornims who have the courage to write about something else than your typical cliché stories. You dare to use a serious topic. From the stories I read already about the topic "Cancer", it is for most Authornims like a way to handle everything that has happened or happens at the moment in their personal live. Most of the time because well.. they know somebody who has cancer or they knew somebody. They use that experience to create stories by using their favourite group/OTP and to let them experience the same thing. Like that they can cope with the situation they just recently been through. It always turns out or most of the time to be a great story. For me personally, you did great on the originality and plot. I liked your story so m much. It's maybe weird to say, but if it were me I would also add fluff to your story as genre. It maybe come across as a genre you wouldn't add. But when I was reading your story, the way how the interact with eachother made it also fluffy for me. But that's my personal opinion off course. It's still your story so..

Flow (9/10):
The story flows very smoothly and ends.. *No way, I'm not going to tell you that* I almost read in one go. For me it did good by quickly, in that sense that it read very easy. But as for the main plot, it slowly went up to the main plot. So good job!

Writing (8/10):
You did a great job on conveying your ideas into your story. It was very "enjoyable" to read, Well, enjoyable in that sense, you were able to make it a light story and not too heavy, but just enough. It was also written in an understandable way. I could picture the whole story as a movie in my head.

Grammar & Spelling (7/10):
I don't know if English is your first language, but you had some minor mistakes.

-Chapter Two-

Chanyeol, who was still shocked, stood up with his mouth open and ran for the door. He doesn't even know the reason why he ran away. But after thinking about it, he realized that that was extremely rude of him to just leave the EXO there by himself.
Chanyeol, who was still shocked, stood up with his mouth open and ran for the door. He didn't even know the reason why ran away.

-Chapter Three-

Now, Baekhyun was here by his side and he doesn't feel that emptiness anymore. Somehow, Baekhyun filled that space in.
Now, Baekhyun was here by his side and he didn't feel that emptiness anymore.

-Chpt 5-

Chanyeol won Baekhyun a bear. He said he wanted it because it kind of looked like Baekhyun. Chanyeol doesn't think so.
Chanyeol didn't think so.

Chanyeol doesn't understand why Baekhyun was saying this.
Chanyeol didn't understand why Baekhyun was saying this.

-Chpt 9-

And with the things that has happened, that’s going to be a real hard thing to do.
And with the things that have happened, that's going to bee a really hard thing to do.

- Chpt 11 -

The little was had his thumb in his mouth and was wearing a shirt that looked a little loose on him.
The little one had his thumb..

-Chpt 13 -

And once heck of a happy virus.
And one heck of a happy virus.

-Chpt 14-

"Don't worry. I'll just you a video of you snoring ;) you do most of the snoring anyways.

" Don't worry. I'll just send you a video of me snoring:) you do most the snoring anyways."

- Chpt 16-

After their many hours of singing. Jongdae goes home. Before he left he reminded Chanyeol that his parents would be coming here tomorrow for a visit. After that the two were left alone once more.
After their many hours of singing, Jongdae went home.

- Chpt 17 -

Chanyeol's father spoke up, "But you didn't the question. Do you like Chanyeol or not?"
Chanyeol's father spoke up, " But you didn't answer the question, Do you like Chanyeol or not?"

- Chpt 18 -

As they walked out of the room, a couple people gave them some weird looks. The whole hospital know about the whole EXO things so they didn't pay any attention. Chanyeol was busying fanning himself to even noticed. Baekhyun was busying pulling Chanyeol to wen care.
The whole hospital knew about the whole EXO thing so they didn't pay any attention. Chanyeol was busy fanning himself to even notice it. Baekhyun was busy pulling Chanyeol too, to even care.

At around 2:30 PM they get to the amusement park. After entering the park, they decided to eat first. They go to the food court and decided to eat pizza, since both were craving for some.
At aourn 2:30 PM they got to the amusement park. After entering the park, they decided to eat first. They went to the food court..

They get in line for the Gyro Swing first since it was shorter than the other one. Since it was outside, it was cold. But thanks to them being bundled up, they didn't feel the cold at all. When it was their turn Baekhyun couldn't help but be scared.
They got in line for the Gyro Swing first since it was shorter than the other one. ...

General Enjoyment (10/10):
I really liked the story. For me it was a very nice story, because it wasn't your hardcore story, it was very fluffy, romantic and at the same time very serious. I did like the part how they met eachother and also how their relations went on during the story.

Total score: 89/100
Reviewer: StephLovesKCulture
Reviewed on: 13/09/2014
Comments and thoughts: Maybe it would be good to hire a beta-reader for the minor mistakes you made and also maybe to help you out with the tenses in your story. Overall comments and thoughts for me: I LOVED YOUR STORY!! *FIGHTING!*


Reminders: Remember to follow the rules.
+ Comment if you saw this review.
+ Don't forget to add proper credits with the link back to the shop!
Credits to StephLovesKCulture (STLK) @ Steph's BookClub Review Shop (SBC)©

Credit 1

Credit 2