B#6 | The Definition Of JungKook | mistressdean

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poster

Title

Author

Characters

Category

Genre

Status

The Definition Of Jungkook

mistressdean

Jungkook & Minhee

B*G

fluff, romance, drama, comedy

Chaptered (ongoing) (18chap)

Description

The universal truth is reality rarely comes close to expectations. Minhee expects all secrets to be trivial like "I once went a whole day without wearing underwear." Little does she know Jungkook's secret is far from any reality she imagined. 

 
 

Title


Eventhough your title is quite long, I wouldn't change anything! I have one word for you: GENIUS! It works perfectly with your story, because it says it all and at the same time it doesn't reveal anything yet of the story. But that's not a bad thing. It holds a mystery and the readers will have so many questions. So like that you keep it interesting. Well done!

Descr.&Forew.


DESCRIPTION
Your description is on point and speaks so much truth. Because that's exactly what happens within a friendship between a boy and a girl. It may be very generally explained and put to words, but I very much like it this way. You don't give too much away but still enough to keep on reading. I like the fact that you didn't use the names of the characters yet . It may sound cliché, but again I would'nt have done it differently. It's up to the readers to decide if they want to continue or not. I definitely did.

FOREWORD
This space has been used to do a little explanantion of the story and the definition of fluff. It's quite neat and doesn't disturb at all. I do like how you take the opportunity here to thank everyone for their reviews and graphics. It's the author's choice how he/she will make use of the foreword. This is also considered as a Thank You note.

Graphics


POSTER
One word: WOW! I love the poster very much. It's a combination of fluff, angst and drama. That are the themes are also displayed in your story. All the elements on the poster are well chosen. It fits the story perfectly. The colorscheme chosen by your graphic designer is rather unusual scheme but does fit the story. It's not too dark or heavy and gives a feeling of a lighthearted yet dramatic story. Kuddos to your graphic designer!

BACKGROUND
You choose to have a clean soft background color. I think this is the best way to fill in your background or just leave it blank. It makes reading your story that much more pleasing to read. You made sure that the readers don't have any difficulties on that point. It also gives your story a very graceful and pure look. Well done!

Char. Dev.


First of all, I would like to say that the characters are well developed. But let's start at the beginning. You do have a lot of characters and all are equally important to the story.

MAIN CHARACTERS
Jungkook To be honest, he has so many different sides to him. At first, he gave me the impression of being a loner with a big secret, afraid to connect with anyone. Due to the fact that the secret might get out if someone comes to close to him. He's very difficult to read. But than otherwise, we have this sweet boy who cares so much about everything but is afraid of showing it as it seems likes he's trapped inside his own body. The relationships he has with his friends are based on his behaviour towards them. Eventhough his character confuses me sometimes, he still a likeable character.

MINHEE
I love her! She's so cute and awkward at the same time. You describe her as this girl who isn't the smartest person in the world but still hold some knowledge to wow people. She has the strangest way to express herself. Most of the time she's actually very clumsy. We do notice some change in her character, as she starts to open up to the goofy bunch of guys who call themselves her friends when they are at the same the friends of Mr Jungkook. Both Minhee and Jungkook seem socially awkward but put them together in a room and there you have it! It's a match full of secrets but lingering friendship, some might say love. But still, you are insisting on them only having a friendship relation. Which is very diffuclt as everyone around them sees it differently.

SIDECHARACTERS
FRIENDS: SUNGYEOL, JACKSON & V, (TAEHYUNG) & LIZZY
You put a great effort in developping your sidecharacters to the fullest as well. They are still are sidecharacters but do play an important role in the story! Because if it wasn't for Sungyeol and Lizzy, where would we be? With a lot of characters going on in your story, you need to pay attention not to get lost in them. Most importantly that the readers are still able to follow. I must say, you did very well. You started by introducing us to Sungyeol and Lizzy, who were on that point of the story the main characters. But you smoothly switched to the real main characters. All the side characters undergo also changes as they start to interact with each other.

In general, you did a great job on the development of the characters. You made sure that everything went smoothly and that changes were getting to start noticeable bit by bit.

 

Appearance


The font that has been used is very easy on the eyes which makes it so much enjoyable to read your story. I love how you start all chapters with "It started with.. " that gives us a bit of indication on what could happen in the chapter. I like how you used the same picture for every chapter, it's a bright but soft picture which suits the chapters and goes along with the colorscheme of your background. The paragraphs in the chapters make it more structural and again makes it easier for the reader to follow the storyline. Well done!

SBC

Orgin.&Plot


The story itself must have sound cliché in the beginning, but when you start reading it and changes your opinion. There are some cliché scenes used, but you always explain them in your authornote why you put them in there. And after reading your story, it does all make sense. The story circles around your title and the assignment they need to do for school. It's a required assignment that's mandatory for the GPA. They are committed in finding a personal definition to 300 words. This way the story gets interesting because it actually evolves around that. I do like a lot how you incorporate the friendship and the assignment of the definition. Due to the differents POV's, you get two different types of definitions from MINHEE and JUNGKOOK, which gives you a sneakpeek on how their minds are working. Therefor your story stands out from all cliché "friendship - no friendship but love" stories. I must congratulate you, as I imagine that musn't be easy to write such a story.

 

Flow


It's a story well written so far. Therefor the flow is very smoothly and not too fast. But I have to be honest, there's one part of the story that got me confused because the flow changed there. It starts from Chapter 15, when you introduced their group chat to us and later on this chapter. It made that chapter a bit strange in the flow perspective. Than Chapter 16 was again a normal one but it changed again with Chapter 17. There it's Jackson who takes the lead of the story at that point. It felt like I missed out on so many things, but it seems that you used this as flashbackmoment to give us a peak in the life of Jungkook to made him more understandeable to us. But again, it made all sense afterwards.

Writing


I love your writing style! You did a great effort on using so much colorful words and synonyms of words used in daily life. For me that show that you care about what you write and you want the people to enjoy your story to the fullest. The choice of words distinguishes if the reader can see the story played in his head or not, and more importantly if it makes sense. You sure know how to play with words to create this imagery scenes. When reading your reading and in anticipatation of your writing, you succeeded in taking the reader with you on your journey in the story. I could see the scenes playing in my head like part of movie. You conveyed your ideas and words in very yet unique understandable way. Well done!

Gramm.&Spel.


Well to be honest, believe it or not, I couldn't find any major not even a minal mistake in your story. I even read your story again to be sure, I didn't miss one. All tenses are used correctly and the commas and speech marks are also used in the correct way. I did noticed some very interesting words, that aren't used very often but do fit in the content of this story. Your English writing is actually of high standard. Even for me, for whom English is like my third or fourth language, I'm not even able to use such educated words even if I would try :) I love writing reviews and reading and must be honest that my English did improve. But still, wow you are something alright! Well done! Keep up the good work, i like your writing style and love how you intruige me with the words.

Gen.Enjoym.


If you couldn't tell yet from my review, I will tell it again: I LOVE IT!!! Your story reads so easily that I couldn't stop reading eventhough I had too. I fell in love with the characters of Jungkook and Minhee. Like you told in your story, they are indeed the perfect recipe for disaster. MINHEE is the most awkward social and perky person I met so far! In that regard, you have certainly succeeded! This is story I will definitely continue to follow.

 
 
 

Title : 10/10

Description & Foreword: 9/10

Graphics: 10/10

Character Development: 9/10

Appearance : 10/10

Originality & Plot: 8/10

Flow: 8/10

Writing: 10/10

Grammar & Spelling: 10/10

General Enjoyment: 10/10

94 / 100

 
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fefedove
#1
Chapter 100: Omg I don't even remember having requested this and never credited either. I'm so sorry and I'll do it as soon as I have access to a laptop omgomg