"Hyunwoo ah." 

I called out his name, looking around in the school lawn.

I squinted my eyes and saw a black shadow popping out from behind a tree.

Pacing over, my eyes shone with mischief as I planned to scare him from behind. 

I jumped out, my voice just reaching my mouth before I closed it.

He's asleep. 

I bent and squatted down, arranging my hair that was blown into a raging mess by the strong autumn wind. 

The corners of my lips curved up into a smile and I placed both elbows on my knees, my hands cupping my face.

"What a geek." I snorted lightly at the sight of his book lying open on top of his lap.

I reached out to trace his cheeks, trying to be as gentle as possible so that I wouldn't wake him up.

A tear escaped my eye. 

"I love you. Do you love me?" My voice floated along with the autumn wind. 

Abruptly standing up, the back of my hand rose to wipe off the rebellious tear that left slight tear marks on my rosy cheeks. 

I my heels and made my way back into the building, but not before putting my scarf around his exposed neck.

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

I was awake since she bent down, blocking the sunlight and momentarily robbing my experience of basking in the warmth that the sun had provided.

The rustling of the trees were loud, and i could imagine her trying to flatten her hair that was blown by the wind.

But the moment when her fingertips came into contact with my skin, another kind of warmth had taken over.

I decided not to show that I'm awake so that I could surprise her later. Yea I know I'm being bad but hey, let this geek enjoy abit won't you.

Hearing a light sniffle, I wanted to open my eyes to ask her what was wrong, but what I heard next stopped me from doing so.

"I love you. Do you love me?"

Yes. Yes I am. But how can I say that to you? I don't have the right to love you. I don't.....

The sun shone on me again and I knew instantly that she was gone. 

Gone. Would there be a day where she would be gone for good? 

I guess I wouldn't get to know the answer.

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

Everything happened in a flash.

One moment he was laughing and eating his lunch on the empty bleachers with me, the next he was coughing up an enormous amount of blood and brought away by an ambulance.

I was crying rivers when he was put on a stretcher and his face turned more and more frighteningly pale.

He saw my tear-stricken face and laughed.

"Don't worry, Suzy. You're ugly when you cry." 

I didn't even have the strength to retort his tease. I was just weeping relentlessly.

"Will you be fine? Will you be back by my side?" I cried out.

"Maybe?"he said weakly. We were both in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. I held his hand tightly, not willing to let go.

"Lee Hyun Woo.",he knew that I meant serious business.

"I promise." He smiled. 

It was the first promise that he didn't fulfill. It was also the last.

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

Dressed in a black baby doll dress, I stared at the coffin that was lying in the centre of the grass field, my eyes empty and soulless.

I didn't speak throughout the funeral. I didn't feel the need to. No. I couldn't bring myself to. I was glad when Mrs Lee didn't call me up to say my eulogy, even though I did write one.

It didn't feel right to do so. The eulogy wasn't meant to be an eulogy, it was more like a letter that I've written to him. A letter that he will never receive, and a message that would never get across.

The funeral ended in a blink. Mr and Mrs  Lee came over to me and each gave me a warm hug which I was grateful for.

She handed me a box covered in maple leaf prints with the word autumn on it. I took the box with gratitude and bided them goodbye.

I didn't cry throughout the funeral,surprisingly, and I bet all those who knew about my close relationship with Hyunwoo were shocked too.

It wasn't that I was cold blooded or anything. My tears have simply dried up. I know that Hyunwoo wouldn't have wanted me to become a crying mess infront of everyone, and that he would want me to smile because he kept said that it was beautiful when he was alive. 

I stayed silent for the whole duration home and I noticed the worried glances my parents were giving me from the front of the car. Not bothering to assure them I was fine, I just looked out at the scenery outside.

It was mid-Autumn. My favourite season of the year. Now it will be at the bottom of my list instead. 

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

I made a beeline to my room as soon as a stepped into the house. 

I didn't even bother changing to more comfortable clothes as I sat on the floor, opening the box that Mrs Lee passed to me. 

Inside of the box were many many pieces