iii.

around in new circles

***

"Ugh, don't go to theirs," Krystal huffs, glaring at Sehun and Kangjoon, who look unusually excited. "You guys should go to Suzy's instead."

"What's happening?" Seulgi asks, having just arrived.

"For health class, we have to run a 'de-stressing' activity this Friday," Suzy explains to her. "My group is running a mini dance party in the theatre arts room, while Chanmi's group is doing a yoga session in the sports hall."

"Ah." Seulgi presses her lips together, understanding.

And just in case her friend hadn't understood, Krystal adds, "Butts, butts, butts." She huffs again, shaking her head when she glances over at Sehun and Kangjoon, who are still in an animated discussion and making suggestive gestures with their bodies. "Of course Chanmi does something like that. And of course Sehun wants to go along."

"Kangjoon, too," Seulgi notes with intrigue. "This isn't like him at all. I thought... Minah... Does he remember?"

Suzy nods, sympathy clouding her expression. "Yeah, he does," she says. "He hasn't lost feelings for her, even though he remembers how bitter their break up was."

"He hasn't even gotten proper reasons from her about why she did it," Krystal says, a hard edge to her voice. "Minah doesn't deserve someone like him."

"It's sad," Seulgi murmurs a little absently, eyeing Sehun and Kangjoon. At least with Sehun, the overexcitement about the delights of the female body is familiar (expected, even), but with Kangjoon... "It's almost as though he's doing all this to distract himself. He's trying to stop thinking about her."

"Do you think it's working?" Krystal asks, though the three of them know that no one but Kangjoon can give an answer to that.

***

More and more often these days, Jinri goes missing during lunch.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Wendy tells Seulgi, who purses her lips. A few minutes ago, it had been Jinri who had said the same thing; except when Wendy says it, Seulgi hears, I'm going to look for Jinri.

"I'll come with you," Seulgi offers, getting to her feet.

"Where do you think she is?" Wendy asks quietly once they're walking side by side, confirming Seulgi's suspicions.

"She hasn't come back from the bathroom yet," Seulgi notes carefully.

Wendy says nothing.

They take the stairs up to the second floor bathroom; the only one Jinri could be in, since no one really uses those toilets. Conveniently.

Before Wendy opens the door to the top level of the building, Seulgi bars her hand, earning a look of confusion from her friend. "What?"

"Can we just... talk?" Seulgi knows stalling won't help much, but it's all she can do.

Wendy lowers her hand slowly. "Is everything okay?"

No. "Yeah," Seulgi says. "It's just... I feel like I don't know her anymore."

"Jinri?"

Seulgi nods. "I—" I don't want you to know what's going on with her. It's not good for you. She shakes her head, faking a laugh as the realisation that she can't ever tell Wendy exactly what she's thinking, sets in. "You know what, ignore me, let's just go in."

She doesn't give Wendy a chance to reply and simply lets herself into the building, swinging the door open with enough momentum for Wendy to float through. They round the corner to the bathroom without a word, and Seulgi pushes open the door.

Not even a second after the door closes, the sound of forced retching reaches their ears. Seulgi's breath catches; her eyes slide towards Wendy ad she immediately regrets it. It's worse than she'd expected.

Wendy's face is white, leached of feeling, of belief and reason. "Is she—"

But before Seulgi can reply, Wendy shakes her head. "I can't," she says, her hand over . "It's too triggering."

Seulgi rushes out of the bathroom after her, but Wendy is gone.

***

Are you on your way home? the text reads.

Suzy's brow furrows in puzzlement at Myungsoo's text. Yes, she texts back, I'm in the car now.

Less than a minute later, a reply comes: Good.

She stares at her phone, waiting, but Myungsoo doesn't send anything more. "'Good'?" she repeats under her breath. "What does he mean?" She contemplates asking him in another text, but realises she's less than three minutes away from her house, so she resolves to wait until then before taking further action.

Her mother rounds the turn onto their street, and as they approach their house, Suzy's mouth falls open. Myungsoo is standing in front of the door, grinning.

"Myungsoo!" Suzy exclaims, getting out of the car. "What are you doing here?"

Myungsoo ignores her question. "I know you don't like flowers, but..." Without a break in his smile, he brings a bouquet of flowers out from behind his back, as well as a palm full of perfumed origami hearts. Suzy's hands fly up to her face. Is he...

Myungsoo's smile widens bashfully when he catches sight of Suzy's mom and neighbours watching. "It's probably been frustrating for you, but I've been waiting for the right time, and now I'm ready. And if you are..." he doesn't finish his sentence, but he doesn't need to.

Suzy isn't sure when she started crying, but the tears come now, even though she had told herself, during all the times she'd thought about this moment, that she wouldn't cry.

Myungsoo seems to be unsure about whether he should laugh or feel nervous. "So... is that a yes?"

Nodding through her tears, Suzy says, "Yes! Yes, yes, yes."

As Myungsoo pulls her into his arms, Suzy thinks that there has never been a more beautiful day in her life.

***

The staccato beginnings of nameless jazz music from the overhead speakers filter through the air as usual, while everyone eats lunch in the school grounds. At the beginning of this year, Chanmi and her group had taken to blasting vulgar music from their portable speakers all around the school, and while everyone hated it, there wasn't actually a rule in the school policy forbidding it. Luckily, someone in the vice principal's good books had convinced him to utilise the ancient speakers in the schoolyard, so now, even though Chanmi still insists on playing her filthy music, it's drowned out by classy musical tones.

"I still love her," Kangjoon says aloud, and even though he's yelling, it sounds more like a whisper amongst the loud cocktail of music.

Suzy's face softens. "Minah?"

"Yeah." Kangjoon's eyes are distant. "Even after everything, even though I know there's no way she and I can ever happen again, I still..." he jams his eyes shut, screwing his face up. "Every time I see her, I have to... I have to look away, because if there's any chance of her making eye contact with me, or me seeing her smile or laugh, I'm gone. I'll just lose it."

"But she's a , man," Sungjong says blatantly.

"I know."

"She doesn't care about you as much as you care about her," Seulgi adds, a little more gently than Sungjong. "Sometimes I wonder if she ever did."

"Yeah..." Kangjoon's eyes go blurry again. He blinks, letting out a huff of a sigh. "Well, at least not everything is depressing. I'm going to America at the end of the year, and I'm really excited for that."

"Cool!" Suzy claps her hands together. "What places are you going to?"

"Texas, New York, maybe Los Angeles..." As Kangjoon rattles off names, Seulgi thinks how ironic it is that the place he lost Minah to is the same place he's excited about visiting.

Sungjong and Suzy launch into a discussion on the side about all their overseas adventures, and Seulgi decides to stay out of it; her travels probably aren't nearly as exciting as theirs sound. She notices Kangjoon quiet, too, so she sidles up closer to him, nudging him with her shoulder. "So," she murmurs. "America, huh? How long are you staying there?"

Kangjoon looks at her intently, his eyes sombre. "I'm not coming back."

Seulgi gasps. "What—"

"Shh." Kangjoon puts a finger to his lips, shaking his head as he glances behind her at their friends. "Don't tell them."

***

Winter is spilling its soul out of the sky on the last day of the week as Seulgi approaches the group of her friends that usually clusters together after their last classes to chat before heading home.

After an exchange with Krystal involving some inside jokes, Seulgi spots Kai at the edge of the group, looking out at the rain. "Hey, are you coming this way?" Seulgi asks, bobbing her head in the direction she's headed, though she already knows his answer.

"Yep," Kai replies.

Seulgi follows his gaze out into the torrential pour, grimacing. She looks down at the umbrella in her hand. "See, I'd use my umbrella, but..."

"But?" Kai presses, looking mildly amused.

"But I don't know how to close it," Seulgi admits sheepishly. "I had to get Sehun to help me with it last time." The thought of struggling with her umbrella again isn't appealing, but neither is walking into that rain and getting soaked to the bone. An idea pops into her mind. "Hey, what about this: we'll use the umbrella, and when I have to close it, you can do it for me."

"Sure," Kai says, not needing to give it much thought. "Let's go."

Barely a few seconds after they leave the safety of the undercover area, Seulgi realises that her arm is much too short to comfortably hold the umbrella high enough for Kai. She tries, raising it over both their heads, but as the umbrella rises, her protection from the rain diminishes and the sky shower spits at her.

Kai notices her struggle, but before he says anything, Seulgi interjects. "Do you want to hold the umbrella?"

He takes it, but instead of holding it above both of them, he moves it so it's just shielding her.

"What are you doing?" Seulgi exclaims. "You'll get drenched!"

"Nah, it's fine," Kai insists with a smile. They round the corner into the shelter of another undercover area, and he lowers the umbrella. "Oh, what the hell..." he mutters under his breath, laughing as he attempts (and fails) to close the umbrella. "I see why you had trouble with this."

"And I'm glad you agreed to help me." Seulgi laughs, but doesn't help him.

"Aha!" Kai yells in triumph, handing her the folded up umbrella. His grin flashes not just across his lips, but in her heart, leaving behind a burn.

"Thanks," Seulgi says, trying to hide a smile and failing. Their eyes meet and his are an impossibly warm shade of brown. She clears , looking away. "So, it's Friday. What's on the agenda for tonight?"

Kai laughs. "Remember when I told you I was going out yesterday to buy a new pair of jeans? Yeah, well my mom didn't end up letting me go since I hadn't finished my calculus assignment, but now that I have, I guess I'll be going tonight."

Seulgi throws him an amused look. "You seem really keen for these jeans."

"Well, fashion is more important than anything else, right?" The corner of Kai's mouth pulls upward. "Nah, I just really need some new ones since it's getting cold and my old pair is worn out."

"Fair enough." Something about his comment about fashion, about his expedition to buy jeans in general, is endearing to Seulgi. Maybe it's because fashion is a passion of hers, or because she's never seen this side of him before, or simply because it's him.

It's been silent for a few moments, so Seulgi opens to say something, but she realises the place where she usually waits to get picked up by her parents is looming. Kai notices, too.

"Listen," Kai rubs the back of his neck as they draw to a stop, "I'm not actually going this way." He jerks a thumb behind him, over his shoulder in the opposite direction. "I was supposed to head over there."

So why did you come all this way with me? Seulgi bites her lips, hiding hope. "Oh," is all she manages. "Well... see you."

"Bye." Kai holds his arms out for a goodbye hug that has become habit, and Seulgi walks into them, resting her head against his chest for a moment before he lets go.

He smells like the rain.

***

"Walk with me?" Daehyun asks Suzy.

Suzy raises an eyebrow, but gets to her feet, setting her sandwich aside. "We'll be back in a second," she tells Myungsoo, who nods in his typical, nonchalant manner.

"What's up?" she asks, as soon as they're far enough away from anyone else's range of hearing.

"I think I like Krystal. Again," Daehyun adds, getting straight to the point.

Suzy doesn't look surprised; but then again, anyone who knows Daehyun wouldn't be. "You did say you've been confused lately Are you sure now? You know, after the way things turned out last time..."

"I'm pretty sure," Daehyun says, but he's looking at his feet. "I'm just not sure if I should tell her. I don't know how she feels, and after last time, I don't know if she wants to go back to that."

"Maybe it's worth trying again," Suzy offers. "I mean, everyone already says you're cute together. Chen's grandmother thinks you're actually dating; he even had to reassure her yesterday that you two hadn't broken up since the last time she saw you."

Daehyun chuckles. "That's cute... But see, that's everyone else. I can't tell with Krystal. She's not everyone else."

"So?" Suzy shrugs. "Does it matter?"

***

The one card social media holds over real life personal dealings is that you can ignore your girlfriend if you want to. This occurs to Jinyoung as he sits seething in front of his computer, after having just slammed the door in Naeun's face. Day by day, she's been getting more and more unreasonable, and this afternoon she had crossed the line.

He texts Seulgi, asking if he'd be able to call her. Seconds after the text delivers, a notification pops up on the screen; Jinyoung taps it curiously.

Hey, Suzy's message says, and a few more investigative taps reveal that they're not the only two in the conversation; pretty much their whole group of friends is included— Seulgi, Kai, Daehyun, Sehun, Sungjong, Chen, Chanyeol, Taehyung, Baekhyun, Taeyeon. Jinyoung squints to read the rest of her message.

As you know, Krystal's sweet 16th is coming up! But as you all also know, she isn't one for making a fuss, and since I really want us to do something nice for her, I'm organising a surprise birthday dinner for her.

A message from Daehyun appears:  Sounds great! What's the plan?

About ten seconds later, Suzy's reply arrives: I'm going to invite her for a movie night over at mine and say you're all coming. But then you guys will cancel on us, and my mom will suggest going out for dinner instead... only when she gets there, she'll see all of you there waiting for her!

A grin splits Jinyoung's lips, impressed by the care Suzy continually puts in for all of them. Why can't all girls be like that?

Another message from Suzy pops up. So... who's in?

A/N (23/08/14):  A shorter chapter than usual, sorry, but there's a lot of new and important developments in this one. Hope you liked it!