A tired sigh escaped from the exhausted body on the vinyl couch, the thumb and index finger of her tracing the screen of her phone. The girl was positioned with one arm on the outside of the couch, the other on her lap, and the right foot resting on the coffee table in front of her. Her outfit consisted of something the stylist had put together for her this morning and a teddybear shaped silver necklace wrapped around her neck. She moved her hand on her lap to trace the necklace as her other hand stopped tracing the phone.

   “Namjoo-ah! You have to do something other than sit there as soon as we get home from schedules. You don’t eat, you don’t sleep, you don’t put effort in your choreography or singing, you just sit there all depressed and sigh. The other members and I can’t let you do this to yourself any longer, it’s bad for your health and your fans.” Bomi exclaimed as she entered the dorm. “Naeun said she’s getting too worried about your crying at night too.” 

   The black-haired beauty nodded at Bomi, setting her body on the other side of the couch on the left side of Namjoo. Eunji ran in unexpectedly and flopped down in between the two, Naeun flinched with a surprised look while Namjoo didn’t move an inch, just letting out another light sigh.

  “Come on Namjoo, don’t act like you’re the only one upset she left. We’re all devastated, but we try to keep our heads up, can’t you?” Eunji beamed a signature eye smile and tapped Namjoo on the back with her and. “Do you wanna do anything to cheer you up? Like get ice cream? Or go read good comments on Twitter?” 

 No response. Her eyes were blank and a mild stomach growl rumbled into the blue atmosphere. “Can’t you talk? APink isn’t the same without a hyper Namjoo making jokes and smiling, even the managers are noticing.” Chorong walked over, pushing Namjoo’s leg off the coffee table before seating herself right in front of her younger friend. “We discussed this the first couple of days after she left, that we, as a group, were going to stay strong and not crumble without her.” 

   The maknae went over and joined them after taking off her sneakers, sitting cross-legged on the floor in between the couch and the coffee table next to Chorong. “yeah unnie, we have to stay strong! If you’re upset, why not call or text her?” 

   Finally, words breathed out of the quietest girl’s lips, “Call....” Every member’s head glances her way, but nothing changed in her of seating, breathing, or eyes. Her voice was crisp with air from barely talking for so long. 

   Naeun leaned down from her seat and nudged Hayoung, whispering as quiet as she could, but just enough for the other human ear to hear. “Yookyung’s dad disabled her SNS accounts, changed her cell phone number, and told none of us to contact her for the first month she’s gone.” 

   The youngest let out a low, “Oh...” and turned her attention over to Bomi. “Bomi unnie, can you go make us food? I think we’re all starving.” 

   At that, Eunji jumped up from her seat, making Hayoung almost fall backward fully into the coffee table. “I’ll make us ramyun!” The four alive members rolled their eyes almost in unison and Bomi playfully pushed over Eunji on their way toward the kitchen. 

   “We’ve had your ramyun the past three days, it’s about time I made us some dumpling soup or kimbap.” Bomi commented and Eunji pushed her back, giggling gently. as if it was a regular gesture, the other members got up and stretched, each member patting Namjoo on the shoulder or head before going to consult more about dinner.

… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 

“Great work today Yookyung,” the voice of her teacher echoed in the background as the teenage girl left the classroom with a mild smile. Her grades had all gone up from C-’s to A’s within a range of three weeks of studying and barely any social life. She held her books in her hands as she by other kids in the hallway, some of them saying words like “Good to see you back full time” or “You can finally participate in my club now.” It seemed everybody was happy she back, everybody except her. 

  Even though she payed as much attention as she could during every class, wrote every note, and studied for every little quiz, something just didn’t seem right. Everybody’s tones sounded bored, gray, not spontaneous or jubilant as usual. Yookyung felt like she could do nothing about it but blame her father, the man who cut down her world. He had said it was for the better and that the fans would get over it, but he never said that she herself would, and she hasn’t.

   She wanted to text them so badly, hear their voices, see their faces. She wanted to be able to say good night to them every night, sing with them, learn Japanese with them, and even train again. The girls of APink left a chunk in Yookyung’s heart that was now empty with nothing but memories. A sigh let out of and she pushed open the school door, letting a large group of other students follow after her to their cars. Her father’s automobile was parked in the front row of the lot, turned n and ready for her to hop in. 

  She jogged over and threw her backpack in on the floor of the passenger’s seat, setting up the belt as soon as she could. Mr. Hong greeted her casually, asking how school was and if anything special had happened. Yookyung replied normally with a no and looked out the window at the city passing by, her eyes eagerly wishing to see her old best friends on the streets of Seoul. 

   “You okay Yookyung? You’ve been sorta quiet these past weeks, it isn’t because of what I did right?” Her father asked as they stopped at a red light halfway to the house. “You said you would try your best to stay alert and joyful even though they weren’t with you all the time.” 

   “I did, and I have been Dad. If I haven’t my grades would be where they used to be and I wouldn’t be talking to you.” Yookyung responded, her fingers tracing around a teddybear necklace that rested on the top of her chest. 

  “You already barely talk to me, it wouldn’t make much a difference. can you just forget them? Your idol life is done with and you’re becoming a doctor and a musical performer right?” The adult in the car continued driving, his tone of voice starting to lift with mild irritation. 

  She nodded lightly, “I know, and I will. But I will never forget them, no matter how you try to separate me from them. My idol may be over, but the tabloids still have me established and will follow me into my musical career.” They both had discussed about that the day she left, but separating her from her friends wouldn’t resolve their inner argument at all. “Why did you have to change my number too? You know I have an okay memory, I had to tell everybody my new number.” Everyone, except them... 

  “I told you that you’re allowed to contact them after a month, you’ve already waited three weeks, just wait one more. Have patience, it’s not long.” 

    “A month is long Dad, you know how close we are. It’s like a dog separating from it’s owner, it may run away, but it always comes home in the end.” 

  “That’s just in the movies dear, real life dogs won’t come home and will just die from starvation in the street.”Wow Dad, what a great choice of words to use. The car stopped slowly getting into their house’s driveway and Yookyung immediately unlocked the door and got out of the car in one solid motion, almost violently slamming it back with annoyance. “Honey, I didn’t mean it that way.” Was what she last heard before entering the front door. 

  She tossed off her shoes carelessly and headed directly to her room, ignoring her brother’s “Hey”. Slamming the door behind her, she jumped onto her bed and threw her backpack onto the floor. This never bothered me this much since the first couple days, what’s wrong with me? It was only a short matter of time before tears started running down her cheeks like a drizzle. She knew that she had to keep it together for her family, but right now, she couldn’t. She laid there, lost in thought and a sea of nothingness, for hours. Her hands were searching around the bed when they stopped at the teddybear necklace, and then something hit her. 

  Yookyung finally grabbed her comforter and wiped her eyes, the bags and redness under them indicating that nothing was alright. She tossed over and sat up fully, her legs resting on the left side of the bed. The hands of the girl began rummaging through her bookbag for her phone, she needed comforting, and not by her mother. By her friends. 

  “Yookyung? I know it’s you, Dad said he wants to talk to you.” Her brother interrupted her thoughts and even if she wanted to ignore him again, she knew that would bring worse consequences. 

  ‘Give me another minute,” her tone was wobbly and unstable, full of weariness and water. her eyes flashed at the brightness of the phone screen, the time surprising her. 8:47 PM. Her thumb whipped through the text messages and missed calls, going straight to contacts. She tapped “Add New Contact”, and typed in Namjoo’s number through instinct, and after finished the contact properties, hit send. 

… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

Namjoo sill rested in the same spot in the exact same position, this time with her left hand holding up the teddybear necklace and her eyes focused on it. Nothing was right without Yookyung in the group. Not the songs. Not life. Chorong and Bomi were in their room watching TV, Eunji and Naeun were playing a board game, and Hayoung sat on the other side of the couch reading some book of physics. 

   “Namjoo, are you going to get up? You need to stretch your muscles sometime,” Bomi’s voice alarmed Namjoo out of the trance, the tear that was coming free had disappeared as soon as she spoke. 

  “Oh,” Namjoo replied, her voice still sounding empty, it being a medium whisper. For the first time in hours, she moved her body out of the seat and dropped the necklace. She bent down, stretching her arms down to the carpeted floor, it felt warm. Warmth, she thought, haven’t felt that in awhile. She let her hands feel the carpet, and it wasn’t until she felt the pain in her hamstrings that she realized that she should get up. 

   A pat on the by Bomi mildly surprised her, but honestly, when she wasn’t in a trance, she was surprised by everything. Bomi herded her to her bedroom which she shared with Naeun, the darkness and blankets seemed welcoming. Sadly enough, the lights were on and that was were Eunji and Naeun were playing Go Stop. 

   “Ha! Got you owned!” Eunji yelled, slapping down her card. “I win!” Namjoo cringed at the volume of the game players and went over to her bed, plumping herself on her lower bed of the bunk. She did the usual of setting up her phone to charger and picked up her pajamas, she was just starting to get dressed when an unfamiliar sound called.

   It was a ringtone. Who calls at almost 9 at night? Eunji and Naeun exchanged confused glances, both ending up looking at Namjoo. 

  “Namjoo, your phone is ringing.” 

“M-my phone rings?” The words sounded like a fire crackle, it was the most she’d said in weeks. The ringtone of Be Mine by Infinite continued to sound in the silentness, with a singing and fooling around Eunji and Naeun. 

  “Negohacha!” They exclaimed cheerfully, but it was stopped abruptly when Namjoo stretched her hand and touched the ‘receive’ button, unplugging the phone with her other hand. 

   “Hello?” Then, for the first time in weeks, a miracle happened. Namjoo smiled.