“So.” Seohyun adjusts the collar of her blouse, smoothing out a microscopic wrinkle. “What are you struggling with especially?”

Yoona blinks at her. “I think the better question would be what I’m not struggling with.”

Seohyun just keeps looking at her with that calm expression, and Yoona clears . “Trigonometry. I just—I don’t get it. And limits.”

“Okay,” Seohyun merely says. “Let’s do two sessions a week. What would you like better – Mondays and Wednesdays, or Tuesdays and Thursdays?”

I would like it better if I didn’t have to do math at all, Yoona thinks, but she keeps that to herself. Seohyun doesn’t seem to have much of a sense of humour. Yoona wishes that she could have gotten someone else as a tutor instead, like Jinki.

“Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

Yoona has soccer practice on Mondays, although her parents have threatened to make her quit the team if she didn’t pull her math mark up. She can’t help it if math hates her, okay? (The feeling is definitely mutual.)

Her best friends don’t share her worries. Yuri doesn’t give a damn about her math marks, and Jessica sleeps through most of the classes but still pulls straight A’s anyway. Yoona would hate her for it, but she can’t, because—it’s Jessica.

“Here’s my number.” Seohyun hands Yoona a sticky-note; her handwriting is so neat the numbers almost look typed. “And my e-mail. Feel free to ask me questions if you don’t get something in your homework, but please don’t call me after nine. I sleep at ten.”

Yoona just kind of stares at her. She hasn’t slept before midnight since junior high. “Thank you,” she says, rather awkwardly. “I should warn you though – I’m really, really dumb at math.”

Seohyun just shrugs. “That’s what I’m here for, right?”

“Right.”

Across the room, Kyuhyun (one of the top students along with Seohyun) looks to be having some kind of intense gaming battle on his laptop with Donghae, his tutee. Yoona watches them wistfully, not noticing how she’s crumpling the post-it note in her hand until Seohyun gently touches her wrist.

Great, now Seohyun will think she’s boy-crazy as well as dumb.

“I know I’m not really…the most fun of people,” Seohyun says, sounding like she’s struggling with the words, “but I really want to help you. I know math doesn’t come easily to everyone, and just because you’re not good at it doesn’t mean you’re not smart.”

Yoona smiles. “Thank you,” she says again, more sincere and natural this time.

“You’re welcome,” Seohyun replies, as polite as ever. “I have to go now, I have an environment council meeting.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, unnie.” Seohyun gives her a small smile before she slings her bag over her shoulder and heads toward the door.

Unnie, huh?

 

“So what you have to do is find x, and then you can solve the second equation once you have x.” Seohyun circles the first equation and writes a neat 1) beside it. “Does that make sense?”

Yoona blinks, stares at the equations, and then somehow gets out a, “Sure.”

Seohyun gives her a searching look. “Unnie, if you don’t understand something, just tell me.”

“It makes sense when you’re explaining the steps individually, but after you finish talking, I just… I’m not sure what to do or why I’m doing it.”

Seohyun’s forehead wrinkles. Yoona knows that sometimes Seohyun is befuddled with why Yoona doesn’t understand a simple concept, even if she does her best to hide it so Yoona doesn’t feel bad. Seohyun’s very patient and detailed, and also very, very nice, and it makes Yoona feel bad when she doesn’t match up to Seohyun’s expectations.

“Let’s take it slow,” Seohyun says. “Why don’t we start off with a diagram then?”

Yoona nods, and she watches as Seohyun deftly draws a right-angled triangle, labelling one of the angles as theta and the opposite side x. That’s about as much as Yoona understands, especially when Seohyun labels the hypotenuse with a function that she can’t even remember seeing.

“Do you know how to find x from this diagram?”

Yoona doesn’t have the slightest clue. She remembers she used to like triangles in math, but that was when the hardest thing they had to do was to measure the angles and label them acute, obtuse or right. Right now she feels very obtuse and not the slightest bit right.

“Here it is,” she jokes weakly, pointing to the side labelled x.

“Unnie.” Seohyun sounds faintly exasperated, but when Yoona looks at her, she’s not sighing or rolling her eyes. In fact, she’s looking at the problem and then the diagram intently, as if she’s trying to think of a better way to help Yoona.

“No. I don’t know how to find it.” Yoona bites her lip, suddenly feeling guilty, like she’s let Seohyun down. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Seohyun says gently. “Trigonometry isn’t easy to grasp.”

“It is to you.”

Seohyun looks almost embarrassed by the compliment. She usually does; it’s quite endearing, actually. “Math just comes easily to me. I think I got that from my dad.”

“Oh, what does he do?”

“He’s a doctor.”

Yoona can’t say she’s surprised. “Do you think you’ll be a doctor? You’d be good at that, I bet.”

“But I’m not good at biology.”

Yoona almost scoffs; Seohyun’s idea of ‘not good’ is probably low nineties instead of mid or high. “You can totally take med school by storm. And you’re so healthy your patients would probably get better just by being in your presence.”

“Unnie,” Seohyun laughs. “That doesn’t even make any sense.”

“I don’t make much sense a lot of the time,” Yoona tells her. “You’d better get used to it.”

Seohyun smiles. “I’ll work on that.” She taps the page with her pencil. “And you should work on this.”

Yoona groans. “Do I have to?”

“Yes,” Seohyun says simply, and then at Yoona’s sad look, adds, “I’ll help you. We can take it one step at a time.”

“Okay,” Yoona says glumly. “I hope those are baby steps.”

Seohyun chuckles, light and melodic, and picks up her pencil again.

“Okay, so first we have to look at the hypotenuse…”

 

“How’s the math tutoring going?” Yuri asks, stealing one of Yoona’s apricot slices.

“It’s all right.”

“Just all right?” Jessica lifts her head up from her arms; Yoona didn’t even know she was awake. “Then why do you sound like you’re getting ready for a funeral?”

“I am,” Yoona says glumly. “I’m getting ready for mine.”

“Seohyun’s that bad?”

“She’s not bad. Not at all.” Yoona hesitates. “She’s really nice and helpful, but I just—really hate math.”

Yuri snorts. “Who actually likes it?”

“Jinki does,” Jessica says casually. “So does Kyuhyun.”

“I told you to tutor Yoong,” Yuri scolds Jessica. “Your grades are almost as good as Seohyun’s. Why don’t you want to help her?”

“Just because I’m good at math doesn’t mean I’m good at explaining math,” Jessica says in a longsuffering way. “Trust me, Yoong, I’d like to help you, but you wouldn’t get my explanations.”

“You’re just too lazy to help her,” Yuri accuses.

“Why don’t you help her?”

“You know I can’t do math.”

Jessica taps Yuri’s temple with her knuckles. “Too many soccer balls to the head will do that to you.”

“Yah, Jessica Jung—”

Yoona stands up, and Yuri falls silent, both of them looking at her.

“I have to go meet up with Seohyun,” she explains. “We’re going over trig limits today. The worst of both worlds.”

“Good luck,” Yuri says sympathetically, while Jessica just gives her a thumbs-up.

“Thanks. I’ll need it.”

Yoona leaves behind her best friends to their flirting. Sometimes it’s harder to understand why they aren’t together than trying to process limits.

 

“What is it?” Seohyun asks with concern as she sees Yoona staring at the math quiz she just got back with an expression of disbelief, eyes practically bugging out and mouth hanging open. “Are you okay?”

“Look at this.” Yoona shoves the paper at her. “What does it say?”

“16 out of 20,” Seohyun reads.

“So it really does say that. I didn’t hallucinate it.”

“Why would you have hallucinated it?” Seohyun sounds confused.

“Because it’s an eighty! I haven’t gotten an eighty in math since…well, a very long time.”

“You’re happy, right?”

“Of course I’m happy!” Yoona holds out her hand for a high-five, and Seohyun hesitates before returning it lightly. “Oh, just come here.” She tugs Seohyun into a brief but firm hug. “You know, this is all thanks to you.”

“It’s thanks to your hard work, unnie,” Seohyun says earnestly. “You’re not bad at math; you just need someone to point you in the right direction.”

“Well, thanks for being my compass.”

Yoona smiles, and there’s no hesitation before Seohyun smiles back, eyes crinkling at the corners.

“We have to celebrate,” Yoona says. “Are you free this weekend?”

“Huh?”

“Okay, I know an eighty in math – or anything – is probably crushing for you, but it’s an achievement for me, really.” Yoona sticks her bottom lip out. “You don’t want to celebrate with me?”

“No, no, it’s not that,” Seohyun says hastily. “It’s just… I have a history paper due next week—”

That’s right. When other teenagers are going to clubs or the mall, Seohyun stays home and works on essays and assignments. Yoona wonders how to get her out, then suddenly it strikes her, and she grins mentally at her ingenuity. “Oh, Yuri’s great at history. I’ll get her to look it over for you.”

Seohyun looks conflicted. “I don’t know.”

“What, you don’t want to spend more time with me than you have to?”

“It’s not that at all!” Seohyun protests. “I like spending time with you.”

Yoona smiles. “Then what’s the problem?”

“I guess…” Seohyun bites her lip. “I guess there’s no problem.”

“Great,” Yoona chirps. “We can catch a movie. And dinner afterwards. There’s this new Chinese place open in the food court, and I heard it’s supposed to be really good.”

Seohyun still doesn’t look convinced.

“There’s an organic food store too,” Yoona adds. “They sell sweet potatoes. And corn.” She can tell Seohyun’s close to caving, and she adds one final incentive. “And you know there are whole stores dedicated to Keroro, right?”

“I can’t stay out too late.”

“We won’t,” Yoona promises, throwing her arm around Seohyun’s shoulder. “I’ll take care of you. Trust unnie, okay?”

Seohyun gives her a wary look, but she nods, and Yoona’s grin widens. They’re going to have lots of fun.

 

“Aww, this .” Yoona looks at the words Sold Out with dejection. “I really wanted to watch it too.”

“There’ll be another showing tonight,” Seohyun points out.

“Yeah, but that starts at eight. You have to get home before nine, right?”

Seohyun looks torn, like she wants to say no for Yoona’s sake but can’t go against the principle of her sleeping habits, and Yoona just smiles. “It’s all right. I’m sure we can watch it some other time.”

“If you really want to watch it, unnie… I mean, you don’t sleep as early as me—”

“I want to watch it with you.” Yoona bites her lip as she realizes how true the words are. She was surprised when she found out that Seohyun was a fan of Pirates of the Caribbean too, and she really looked forward to watching it with her, but of course her luck is terrible and it’s sold out.

Seohyun’s face almost crumples in her smile. “I want to watch it with you too. We can reschedule…?” She trails off into a question, and Yoona just nods; she’s sure her smile is enough of a yes.

“We can watch another movie.” Yoona glances over the other ones playing right now. “I mean, we’re here anyway, and I have a pass for free popcorn.”

Seohyun’s mouth pulls down at the corners, just barely. Yoona supposes that she’s not a big fan of popcorn.

Yoona keeps her eyes on the listings. “Or, if you don’t want to…”

“What do you want to watch, unnie?”

“How about The Ninth Circle?” she suggests. “I’ve heard it’s good.”

“The Ninth Circle?” Seohyun repeats hesitantly. “That’s a horror movie, right?”

“You don’t watch horror?”

Seohyun bites her lip. “No, not really. I don’t react to horror well.”

Yoona translates that to: they scare me. She enjoys horror movies, but then again, the fear never stays with her. The chills, the goosebumps, the twisting feeling in her gut – she likes all that. She’s seen the trailer for The Ninth Circle, and it sounds rather cliché but looks promising, and she wants to see it, but she doesn’t want to put Seohyun out. They came to the mall together, after all, and she wants them to have fun. Together.

“We can watch a chick flick instead,” she suggests, suppressing her disappointment. “I heard I’ll Be Waiting is pretty good.”

Seohyun her bottom lip into , and Yoona stares for a beat too long. “You want to watch The Ninth Circle, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but it’s okay. You don’t want to.”

“I’m not entirely opposed to it,” Seohyun says slowly. Yoona finds her formal, concise way of saying things cute. It’s such a strange thing to find cute, but Yoona has never aspired for normality.

“Seohyun, it’s okay, really. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I want us to have fun. We’re celebrating, right?”

“That’s right.” Determination surges into Seohyun’s voice. “We’re celebrating. You did really well, and I’m happy for you. Let’s watch the movie together.”

Seohyun is just…Yoona can’t contain her smile. Without thinking, she reaches out and takes Seohyun’s hand.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” Seohyun tells her, squeezing her hand before letting go. She pulls out her wallet and heads towards the counter. “I’ll take two tickets for The Ninth Circle.”

Yoona knows that Seohyun wouldn’t let her pay for it, so she hands over the money right away and takes the tickets for both of them. “My treat,” she says brightly.

“We’re celebrating your quiz—”

“It’s thanks to you that I did well. I know how modest you are, but you can take credit for your achievements, you know.”

“I won’t take credit for yours,” Seohyun says firmly.

Yoona smiles, and hands Seohyun her ticket. “Come on, it starts soon. And I have popcorn to buy. Well, to redeem.”

“Thank you, unnie,” Seohyun says softly.

“You can call me by my name, you know. We’re friends, you don’t have to use honorifics with me.”

“You’re my unnie,” Seohyun says, and the way she says that word – it’s like it means something else, something beyond an honorific. Yoona can’t describe it, but she likes it.

She puts her arm around Seohyun’s shoulder. “And you’re my favourite dongsaeng.” She pulls Seohyun closer for a moment – she smells like lotion, the white one in a clear bottle she always carries with her – and releases her in favour of the snack lines. “I’m off to get popcorn!”

Her back is to Seohyun, but she can tell that she’s smiling.

 

Yoona accepts her ticket stub and runs her thumb over it. She usually throws it out – what’s the point of keeping something that’s lost its use? – but this time is an exception. She tucks the stub carefully into her bag, making sure not to rip or crinkle it. She can’t explain why she wants to keep it; she just does.

They choose seats near the middle, and Yoona takes a sip of her large coke before setting it in her drink holder. She tips the bucket of popcorn towards Seohyun. “Do you want any?”

“No, thank you,” Seohyun declines politely.

Yoona smiles at the crinkle of her brow as she looks at the popcorn. “Sorry, I asked them for extra butter.”

Seohyun looks vaguely disapproving, but when Yoona takes care to pick out a butter-free kernel and puts it in her palm, she eats it.

“I’m a messy eater.” Yoona slurps up another gulp of coke. “I’d say excuse me, but I want to save my mouth for food.”

Seohyun smiles. “I don’t mind,” she says, and Yoona smiles too.

The movie has a lot more blood and gore than Yoona thought – she was expecting more psychological horror – and after twenty minutes, she thinks that she’s seen enough viscera for a lifetime. The main character’s home is starting to look more like an abattoir than a house.

Seohyun is clearly not enjoying the movie. She’s pale and tense, and although she doesn’t jump or make any sounds, her discomfort is palpable.

“Hey,” Yoona says, when one of the onscreen guys tries to eat another one’s face, and Seohyun grimaces. “You okay?”

“I’m not—a fan of graphic violence,” Seohyun says slowly.

Yoona watches the scene unflinchingly, lifting another handful of popcorn to . Her chewing noises are disturbingly similar to the sounds from the movie of flesh and bones giving way to blood-stained teeth.

“I like insides being on the inside too.”

Seohyun looks at her instead of the screen. “You’re not—very affected.”

“I have a high gore tolerance,” Yoona says, away a trail of grease by the corner of her lips. Seohyun’s eyes linger on ; she must be making more of a mess than she thought. Usually she tries to act like she has better manners, but—

It’s not that she thinks Seohyun isn’t worth the effort, because she definitely is. It’s that she thinks she doesn’t need to pretend with Seohyun. Seohyun likes her for who she is, bad math student and messy eater and all.

“Mine isn’t as high as I thought,” Seohyun says with a frown, like she’s disappointed in herself.

“Don’t worry about it,” Yoona tells her, reaching out to touch her arm and thinking better of it when she realizes how greasy her hands are. She settles for brushing her forearm against Seohyun’s, a line of contact seeming to remain between them even when she moves away.

They end up talking – quietly as not to disturb the other people, heads bent close together – through the more graphic scenes, and then for the rest of the movie. Yoona does it at first mainly to distract Seohyun, and then just because she likes talking to her.

Yoona puts her arm on the armrest between them, and at one point, when Seohyun glances there and shifts her shoulder, Yoona wordlessly moves her arm aside slightly, not enough to vacate the armrest but enough to make space for Seohyun.

They share. They share physical things like the armrest and the last of Yoona’s popcorn, and less tangible but just as enjoyable things like anecdotes and smiles, and Yoona—

She’s happy. Usually talking over the background noise of a horror movie (and despite how loud the audio is, that’s all it has been reduced to compared to their conversation) would be far from her idea of a good time, much less a celebration, but she’s happy like this, with Seohyun by her side.

“I feel like I’m hogging the conversation,” Yoona says sheepishly, realizing that she’s been doing most of the talking.

Seohyun just smiles. “I like listening to you,” she says, and that’s that.

 

Yoona loops her elbow through Seohyun’s and practically runs to the food court. Her stomach grumbles so loudly she feels like half the mall can hear it. “I’m starving,” she says, scanning the takeout places already. “I want to get everything here.”

Seohyun chuckles. “Maybe you should just order from one place first,” she advises.

Yoona hums, her eyes landing on McDonald’s. “I could go for about ten burgers.”

Seohyun wrinkles her nose. “Burgers aren’t good for you, unnie. They’ll kill you one day.”

Yoona stares at her. “Way to ruin my appetite.”

“I–I didn’t mean—” Seohyun stammers, and Yoona laughs.

“Don’t worry, I know it’s not real meat between those buns, and I don’t really care.” Yoona’s stomach makes an unearthly sound again.

Seohyun looks disapproving. “If you’re aware of the health risks…”

“I’m aware, I just like burgers too much.” Yoona looks at Seohyun’s creased forehead, her pinched lips, and she relents. “Okay, I won’t get a burger.”

Seohyun’s cheek hollows, like she’s biting down on the inside of it. “I’m just looking out for your health.”

“I know.” Yoona pats her arm fondly. “Thanks for doing that, because I don’t.” Her eyes skim past McDonald’s to the Chinese place she mentioned earlier. “I could go for some honey garlic chicken. Or lemon chicken. Or—” She looks at Seohyun’s (milder) disapproving expression and rolls her eyes. “Come on, I have to eat something.”

“You go. I’ll get us a table.”

“Aren’t you going to get something?”

“I’m not hungry.”

Yoona is the frowning one now. “You haven’t eaten anything except two bites of popcorn since we got here. You can’t just skip dinner.”

“I’m okay,” Seohyun says. “I’m really not hungry.”

“Are you on a diet or something?” Yoona’s frown deepens. “Don’t tell me—”

“I’m not on a diet. I’m just… Sometimes my appetite isn’t that great.”

“You should still eat something,” Yoona insists. “Not all the food here is terribly unhealthy, you know.”

“I know,” Seohyun says. “Why don’t you get your Chinese food, unnie? I’ll get a drink.”

Yoona sighs; she knows Seohyun well enough to know that when she makes up her mind, she won’t change it. There is a surprising amount of stubborn persistence under those gentle manners.

“Which other dish do you like?” Seohyun suddenly asks.

“What?”

“You said honey garlic chicken, or lemon chicken, or—something else.”

“Oh.” Seohyun is terrible at subtly changing the subject. So terrible it almost makes Yoona smile. “General Tso’s chicken. It’s sweet, but it has a kick.”

Seohyun nods, looking like she’s filing the information away in that impressive mind of hers. She probably has everything organized and catalogued. General Tso’s chicken is either going under the G’s or the Terribly Unhealthy Foods that Yoona Likes section.

“Try some later,” Yoona tells her. “You might like it.”

“Okay,” Seohyun says, with a lot less resistance than Yoona expected.

“I hope…” Yoona’s voice catches in . “It’s been a lot of fun for me, tonight. I hope you aren’t having too bad of a time.”

Seohyun looks at her, reaches out her hand slightly, like she wants to touch Yoona, and then drops it like she thinks better of it. She smiles. “It’s been a lot of fun for me too, unnie,” she says quietly. “A lot.”

Yoona returns her smile. “Let’s do this again sometime,” she says, heading toward her dinner destination.

She thinks she hears okay, but it might just be her imagination.

 

Seohyun is drinking what looks like green tea when Yoona sets her tray down on the table. She offers Seohyun the spare pair of chopsticks she asked for, pleased when Seohyun takes them instead of politely declining like she had with the popcorn initially.

Yoona opens the Styrofoam box, and almost waters as the smell of sweet, battered chicken hits her. She was tempted to get the chicken balls or barbecue spare ribs as her second dish, but she chose the mushroom beef instead. Seohyun would probably wince if she saw that the only vegetables on Yoona’s plate were the few pieces of pepper and onion in the General Tso’s chicken.

“Try some,” Yoona says brightly, pointing to a piece of chicken.

Seohyun actually looks interested, but of course, being Seohyun, she says, “You first, unnie.”

Yoona picks up a piece of beef with her chopsticks and has to remind herself to chew. She’s starving. She wolfs down another piece of beef and a mushroom, and practically shoves rice into , giving the carrots a wide berth.

Seohyun watches her eat with a faint smile, not like she finds Yoona amusing (or disgusting), but like she finds her—endearing.

Yoona’s chopsticks keep slipping off the batter of the chicken, so she spears a piece with a single chopstick like it’s a fork and pops it into . “Mmm,” she can’t help saying out loud. Screw table manners. “So good. You have to try this.”

“I’ll have some later,” Seohyun says, still smiling. “You keep eating.”

Yoona swallows, taking a large sip of coke. “Try some,” she repeats. “I’ll feed you if I have to.”

Seohyun ducks her head, looking flustered. Yoona clears . “Don’t let my gross eating habits erase your appetite.”

“I don’t think you eat in a ‘gross’ way,” Seohyun says. “You enjoy your food, and it’s nice to see. I like seeing you enjoy things.” She chooses the smallest piece of General Tso’s chicken, and Yoona eats another mushroom, finding herself smiling around the bite.

The way Seohyun eats is nothing like the way Yoona does – she chews silently and thoroughly, and she even dabs with a napkin afterwards.

“It is good,” Seohyun agrees, sounding pleasantly surprised.

“Nothing like battering to make meat better,” Yoona says with a smile.

“Unnie.” It’s almost a whine, from Seohyun. “Please don’t remind me about how unhealthy this is.”

“Have some vegetables.” Yoona indicates the carrots, mushrooms and celery with the beef. “If you don’t mind, take all the carrots. You’d be doing me a huge favour.”

“You don’t eat carrots?”

“Carrots and I don’t get along. It’s best if we steer clear of each other.”

“Okay.” Seohyun picks out all the carrots, taking care not to touch the other food with her chopsticks, and puts them in the lid. Yoona berates herself for not asking for a plate on the side.

“Have some chicken,” Yoona says. “You like it.”

“So do you.”

“I like you more than I like the chicken,” Yoona says without thinking, and is rewarded by a small but warm smile from Seohyun.

Seohyun eats another piece of chicken, chewing a little quicker this time. flexes quite prominently when she swallows, and then Yoona realizes that she’s staring at her and jerks her eyes away.

She hears a quiet sipping sound: Seohyun drinking her tea.

“I like you too, unnie.”

Yoona looks up and grins impishly. “I know. I’m your favourite unnie, right?”

Seohyun smiles too. She doesn’t say anything, but she takes another piece of chicken, and it’s as good as a confirmation.

 

“I’m sorry, unnie,” Seohyun says yet again, the contrition still heavy in her voice. “I didn’t realize how much I ate.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Yoona tells her yet again. “I don’t mind. I’m just glad you ate a decent amount of food. You can’t just skip dinner like that.”

“Dinner is supposed to be the lightest meal of the day,” Seohyun says, like she’s reciting a fact.

“Yeah, and breakfast is the most important, but who actually follows that?” Yoona wads up the rest of her napkins, compressing them as tightly as she can. “I don’t even eat breakfast half the time.”

“I’m sorry,” Seohyun repeats. “You like General Tso’s chicken, and I ate all of it.”

“Not all of it,” Yoona says lightly. “I ate some. And hey, you ate my carrots too, so everything is great in my books.”

Seohyun doesn’t look as guilt-stricken as she did when she realized she finished the chicken, but she still looks—

Oh, Seohyun.

Yoona brightens as an idea strikes her. “You know how you can make it up to me?”

“How?” Seohyun asks immediately.

Yoona grins. “Buy me a burger next time.”

Seohyun looks deeply torn. It’s really quite adorable. Yoona almost feels bad for putting her through what is clearly a serious internal struggle.

“Okay,” Seohyun finally says.

“Don’t worry, I won’t die anytime soon,” Yoona tells her cheerfully. “I’ll be around to bother you for a long time yet.”

She expects Seohyun to laugh, or maybe splutter something. She doesn’t expect Seohyun to meet her eyes squarely and say, “I look forward to it,” in a clear, steady voice.

Well, Yoona’s always been a fan of surprises, especially ones like this.

 

It’s dark by the time they get onto the bus, but despite the late hours, it’s almost completely full. There’s only one free seat.

“You take it,” they say at the same time.

“Really, you sit,” Seohyun says.

“I’m stuffed.” Yoona runs her hand over her stomach. “I want to stand a bit, it makes me feel healthier. And don’t you want me to be healthy?”

“Unnie.” Seohyun looks torn between sighing and smiling.

Yoona knows Seohyun would never let Yoona stand while she sits, so as the bus hits an uneven stretch of road, she ‘stumbles’ and falls into Seohyun, knocking her right into the seat.

“Oops, sorry,” she says innocently. “You should probably just stay there. I might bump into you again.”

Seohyun’s expression tells Yoona she doesn’t believe in her clumsiness at all, but she stays put. She probably knows that Yoona really would ‘bump into her’ again.

“I really don’t mind standing,” Seohyun says.

“I know you don’t,” Yoona says. “You’re too nice for your own good.”

“Yoona unnie,” Seohyun says softly. Yoona realizes that this is the first time Seohyun called her by her name (with an unnie attached, of course). It feels—it’s nice. She likes it.

Yoona smiles. “Yes, Seohyunnie?”

“I’m—” Seohyun breaks off. “Yes,” she says, with quiet intensity. “Yes, you’re my favourite unnie.”

Yoona smiles like an idiot, and when the bus hits a bump again, this time she really does lose her balance, and Seohyun steadies her with a firm hand at her elbow.

After they move onto even ground again, Seohyun doesn’t let go, and Yoona doesn’t mind.

 

An elderly couple gets on the bus, steps slow but steady, and Seohyun is out of her seat almost instantly, all polite earnestness as she tells them to take it.

The old man and woman both have warm smiles. “No, no, you sit, dear,” the old woman says.

Her husband – Yoona assumes – takes her hand. “We would rather stand together than only one of us sitting.”

They shuffle off to stand close towards the middle of the bus, and both Yoona and Seohyun watch their mutually supporting and supported gaits.

“That’s so sweet,” Yoona muses out loud. “I wish I could find someone to grow old and happy with.” She turns to Seohyun. “Do you…ever think like that?”

“I’ve never—” Seohyun bites her lip. “I’ve never had feelings for anyone.”

For some reason, Yoona is both happy and unhappy to hear that.

“Why are you so picky?” she asks lightly.

“I think – the right person will come along one day,” Seohyun says in that slow, firm way of hers. “Anyway, I don’t think I’m mature enough for a relationship yet.”

“You’re the most mature person I know.”

Seohyun smiles faintly. “Maturity comes in many forms.” She looks towards the front of the bus. “My stop is next.”

“Oh.” Yoona can’t control the disappointment in her voice. “Okay. Don’t miss it.”

Seohyun stands up even though her stop isn’t here yet, and they stand together in companionable silence for the next few minutes. The road is uneven again, and Seohyun grasps the same pole Yoona’s holding onto, their fingers brushing.

“My stop is here,” Seohyun says.

Yoona doesn’t know what to say, so she just looks at Seohyun. She thinks she understands, anyway.

“Thank you, unnie,” Seohyun says sincerely. “I really enjoyed myself.”

“I did too.”

This time, Seohyun is the one who reaches out for a hug. Yoona puts her arms around Seohyun and squeezes tightly for a moment, fighting the urge to rest her head on Seohyun’s shoulder, because then she wouldn’t want to leave.

Seohyun’s smile seems to illuminate their little corner of the bus. “Bye, Yoona unnie. I’ll buy you a burger next time.”

She waves, and then she’s turning away, thanking the bus driver on her way out. Yoona looks at her as she gets off, until she’s a tiny speck in the darkness, and then not visible at all.

It’s ridiculous, but Yoona misses her already.

 

Yoona doesn’t remember the route being so bumpy, but the bus has not been moving smoothly this whole ride. When the next passenger gets on, he stumbles after paying and ends up crashing right into her, almost knocking her off her feet.

“Sorry,” he says. “I totally didn’t – I’m so sorry.”

She regains her balance. “It’s okay,” she says amicably. Then she recognizes him: Nichkhun Horvejkul, captain of the basketball team and object of many girls’ affections. He sat behind her in English last year, and he forgot his pencil all the time, and he was always sheepishly embarrassed when he asked to borrow one of hers. One day, she just told him to keep the pencil.

“Yoona,” he says, like he can’t believe he’s seeing her. “Hi, I didn’t know it was you. Hi.”

“Hi,” she returns. “How are you?”

He swallows. “Good, thanks.” She swears that he looks nervous, which is strange. “How are you?”

“Great. It’s a nice night, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Nichkhun is staring at her like he’s never seen a girl before. “Great.”

“I watched The Ninth Circle,” Yoona says, feeling awkward under the intensity of his gaze. “Don’t believe the hype. It’s all gore, no plot.”

“Yeah?” He breaks into a smile. “I’m not a big fan of horror movies, actually.”

“I like them, but The Ninth Circle disappointed me. Hopefully Phantom will be better.” She names the highly anticipated horror-thriller coming up.

“Yeah,” Nichkhun says again. She’s starting to wonder if he starts off all his sentences that way. “Yoona, I don’t know if you remember,” he says in a rushed voice, “but I sat behind you in English last year.”

“I remember. You forgot your pencil all the time.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did,” Yoona says slowly. “I always lent one to you.”

“No, I know that, I mean.” He his lips. “I always brought pencils. I just told you I didn’t so I had an excuse to talk to you.”

She’s the one to stare disbelievingly at him now. “Huh?” she manages.

“You were always so nice. You never got annoyed at me about it.”

“I don’t have a great memory myself,” Yoona says, feeling detached from the situation, from one of the most popular boys in the school—confessing to her? “I know what it’s like to forget things.”

“I didn’t forget all the chances I missed,” Nichkhun says quietly. “I only ever asked you for a pencil, not a date like I wanted to.”

You can ask now, Yoona thinks, but. She doesn’t want him to. She would have to reject him, and that’s a situation she would rather avoid. Nichkhun is cute, and nice, and popular, but. That’s not enough.

“Is it too late to ask now?” he asks tentatively.

“I’m sorry,” she says, gently but firmly. “I—already like someone else.” She has no idea where the lie comes from.

His face falls. “Oh,” he says quietly, and then, like he can’t help himself, “Do I know him?”

“No, you don’t,” Yoona replies, after a pause. She doesn’t even know the person, after all (how can you know someone who doesn’t exist?), and she should feel bad for lying to him, but she doesn’t feel guilty. She doesn’t even feel deceitful, like maybe she’s not lying to herself.

 

“You seem distracted,” Seohyun notes, setting down her pencil.

“We’ve been going over this for an hour straight.” Yoona stretches to alleviate some kinks in her neck. “Can we take a break? Please?”

“Okay,” Seohyun agrees easily, which surprises Yoona. She’s usually so dead set on sticking to her schedule and getting everything done with plenty of time to spare.

Yoona digs in her bag for some dried apricots, and she doesn’t realize that Seohyun is standing in front of her until she taps her on the shoulder. Yoona’s so startled she knocks her bag to the floor.

“Sorry, unnie.” Seohyun immediately kneels down and gathers Yoona’s things into her bag for her. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t scare me. You just—surprised me.” Yoona takes her bag from Seohyun. “You don’t have to do that, my things are such a mess – now that’s a real scare.”

Seohyun holds out a bottle at her, and Yoona blinks.

”This is for you,” Seohyun says. “I hope you like smoothies.”

“Oh. Oh, thank you.” Yoona takes the bottle, noticing how the label says that the fruits are 100% organic and the container is made from recycled plastic. Of course. “That’s really nice of you. You didn’t have to do that.”

Seohyun just smiles. “I noticed that you like to snack, but the only fruits you eat are those dried apricots.”

Yoona usually eats chocolate or gummies, sometimes pretzels or chips. Fruits aren’t really her ideal idea of a snack. “I’m not very healthy,” she says sheepishly, although it’s nothing Seohyun doesn’t already know. “I eat like a pig, to be honest. I’m lucky I don’t look like one.”

“You have a really nice figure, unnie.”

Yoona’s been told that, or things along those lines (usually in a more vulgar way) quite a few times, but nobody’s ever said it like Seohyun, with such innocent earnestness.

“Thanks.” She clears . “I have a high metabolism. And I play a lot of soccer.”

“That’s right. You’re the team’s star striker, aren’t you?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say ‘star,’ but I’m pretty awesome.” Yoona grins, and Seohyun smiles back, soft around the edges.

“Do you—” Yoona clears again. “Do you watch the games?”

“I’m not really into sports.”

That doesn’t surprise Yoona, to be honest. Seohyun’s interested in things like world politics and global warming and even math contest questions sometimes. Yoona can’t see her in the stands cheering and screaming with everyone else.

“That’s too bad,” Yoona says casually. “There’s a home game between us and YG next week. Everyone’s really excited about it.”

Seohyun blinks at her like she doesn’t know why Yoona said that, and to be honest, Yoona doesn’t know either. Maybe she can’t picture Seohyun in the bleachers cheering her on, but…maybe she wants to see her there.

“Aren’t tickets sold out by now?” Seohyun asks, and Yoona has to bite her inner cheek to stifle her smile.

“I can get some. I’m the star striker after all, aren’t I?”

Seohyun smiles, sweet and bright, and something flutters in Yoona’s chest. “Unnie, let’s work on this problem. It’s a nice use of the chain rule.”

Yoona’s mouth opens, and then she closes it and looks grudgingly at the math worksheet, mocking her with how empty it still is even though she spent a good hour on it.

“Have some smoothie.” Seohyun pushes the bottle over. “Do you like blueberry or mango better? I have a bottle of mango in my bag if you would prefer that.”

“I like apricots, but I don’t think they sell apricot smoothies.”

Seohyun looks thoughtful. “I can find out.”

“It’s okay, it’s not worth the effort.”

“If you want one, then it is,” Seohyun tells her, straightforward and sincere, and the fluttering returns, except it feels more like a firebird than a butterfly banging against her ribs, warm and spreading out its wings.

“I’m in trouble,” Yoona mutters, almost banging her head on her chair when she flings it back.

“What’s wrong?” Seohyun asks in concern.

“Nothing. I mean—this question is so hard. I’m in trouble.”

“I’ll help you.” Seohyun puts her hand on Yoona’s wrist, and Yoona has to fight not to tense or jerk away. “It’s okay.”

“Right,” Yoona says faintly, but she knows that it’s not okay at all.

 

“I’m in trouble,” Yoona announces, pushing open the door to the empty classroom where they like to hang out.

Jessica and Yuri, practically sharing a chair, spring apart like repelling magnets, and Yoona raises an eyebrow at their mussed hair and guilty expressions.

“I’m sorry. Did I interrupt something?”

Yuri’s face flushes, while Jessica’s perfectly poker-faced and merely drags a hand through her hair. (It looks like Yuri’s already spent a lot of time running her fingers through it.)

“Your tutoring session ended early today,” Yuri says, trying for casual but failing miserably.

“Yeah, I…couldn’t really focus near the end, so there was really no point just sitting there and trying to vaporize the paper with my eyes.”

“I’m surprised you don’t do that every time,” Jessica remarks.

Yuri elbows her. “You got 80s on the past two tests, didn’t you?”

“Seohyun’s a good tutor,” Yoona says simply.

Jessica raises an eyebrow. “So why are you in trouble then?”

“I-I think I…” Yoona trails off.

This is ridiculous. It’s Yuri and Jessica; she knows she can tell them anything, and they might make fun of her a little at first, but they would always, always be here for her and try their best to help her, so she doesn’t know why she feels so reluctant to tell them.

“What is it, Yoong?” Yuri asks in concern. Jessica doesn’t prod Yoona, but she looks at her with steady, encouraging eyes.

Yoona takes a deep breath. “I think I like Seohyun.”

Neither of them reacts for a long moment. Jessica just blinks at her like she doesn’t hear her properly, and Yuri’s eyes widen and she opens like she wants to say something, but snaps it shut two seconds later.

“What’s the problem?” Jessica finally asks.

“I don’t know,” Yoona whispers. “I just—I’ve never liked a girl before.”

Jessica and Yuri exchange a swift look.

“There’s nothing wrong with liking someone of the same gender,” Yuri says gently.

“And you’re just at the right age for a gay crisis,” Jessica adds. “Better to face it now than in middle age, stuck in an unfulfilling marriage and getting wrinkles.”

“Sica,” Yuri hisses, but the admonishment in her tone is ruined by how she sounds like she’s holding back a laugh.

“What – I’m just telling the truth.” Jessica’s eyes land on Yoona, slightly harder than before. “Yoona, why do you like Seohyun?”

“She’s—nice, really nice, and she’s really funny because she doesn’t have a sense of humour in the traditional sense, and she has a Keroro keychain.”

Yoona pauses. She doesn’t know why the Keroro keychain is significant; she just knows she likes how Seohyun totally swooned when they saw a little girl with a Keroro backpack one day, and how she confessed to Yoona (ashamed) that she stayed up until one in the morning one day just to watch the cartoon frog, and how Seohyun can only wink with one eye, and stammers terribly when she speaks without honorifics, and—

“And she’s pretty,” Yoona adds, as an afterthought. Seohyun is really pretty, especially when she takes a break from those bland blouses and shapeless sweaters she likes to wear, but that’s not why Yoona likes her.

“She has nice legs,” Jessica agrees, and Yuri hits her shoulder, not very gently.

“Why are you looking at her legs?” Yuri demands, jealousy clear in her voice.

“I don’t look at them. I just notice them.”

“Whose legs do you look at, then?”

“Yours,” Jessica says, as if it’s completely obvious. “You have the best legs I’ve ever seen.”

Yuri falters at that, and then she smiles – beams, really. ”You’re awful at sweet talking, you know.”

Jessica shrugs. “It’s not like you didn’t know that already.”

They seem to have forgotten that Yoona’s in the room, and Yoona doesn’t know if she should remind them. Jessica and Yuri are clearly in their own world, and even though it’s always been the three of them, Yoona has felt like the third wheel more than once.

She’s not bitter about it, or jealous. She just feels a little wistful, sometimes, because Yuri and Jessica have something special, something that everyone wants, whether they admit it or not. Yoona is certainly no exception.

“Yoong, you’re okay with me and Yuri, right?” Jessica asks.

“Of course I am, unnie. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Then what’s wrong with liking Seohyun?”

“There’s nothing wrong with it.” Yoona hesitates, bites her lip. “It’s not just about how she’s a girl. I’ve just—never liked anyone, period. You know that.”

“Yes, I do, but maybe that’s because the right person hasn’t come along yet.”

“And maybe now she has,” Yuri finishes, with a smile at Yoona. “You can’t know unless you give it a shot, right?”

Yoona nods slowly, looking at how Yuri and Jessica’s knees are touching. She remembers how Jessica would wipe away grass stains from Yuri’s skin after a game and how Yuri would go after anyone who tackled Jessica with startling ferocity.

“You’re our best friend, Yoong,” Yuri says. “We want you to be happy.”

Jessica puts her hand on Yoona’s knee and squeezes. ”If you like her, then go after her,” she says simply.

But it isn’t so easy, Yoona wants to tell them. Seohyun is so…proper, so traditional, and Yoona doesn’t know how she would react to Yoona’s feelings. This isn’t like solving a math problem; it’s not like she can find x and y and everything would be okay.

“Yoona,” Yuri says softly, as if sensing Yoona’s turmoil. “You don’t have to do everything at once, okay? Just…think about it. Give yourself some time.”

“I can give you some math pick-up lines, if you’re interested,” Jessica offers. “Taeyeon taught me a lot last semester when we sat together.”

Yuri scowls. “I hope she didn’t use any of them on you.”

“Nah, she was saving them for someone else. Although with Tiffany’s Korean back then, I’m not sure how much she actually understood…”

“Taeyeon unnie and Tiffany unnie are going out?” Yoona asks, eyes wide. This is news to her. It seems that she’s majorly out of the relationships loop around here.

“I think they’re pretty close with Seohyun, actually,” Jessica says in a thoughtful voice. “She must know, then, and I doubt she has a problem with it.”

She looks at Yoona with gentle eyes. Yoona isn’t surprised that Jessica knows exactly what she was worrying about; sometimes Jessica could be awfully dense, but other times she’s incredibly perceptive. Jessica is contradictory like that, and it’s loveable on her, somehow.

“I think I…need some time,” Yoona says quietly. “Thank you though, both of you.”

“Anything for our Yoong,” Yuri says affectionately, pinching Yoona’s cheek.

Yoona makes a face at the action, but really, she doesn’t mind, and she knows that her best friends know that.

 

“Good luck, unnie.”

Yoona pulls her hair into a tight ponytail. “Thanks. This match is our key into the playoffs. We really need the win.”

“You can do it,” Seohyun says, with sincere conviction.

“Yeah, that’s what we’re telling ourselves.” Yoona’s smile turns wry. “They’ve won the championship three times in the past five years. We always stumble when it comes to them.”

Seohyun looks serious and attentive, even though she doesn’t care about sports, doesn’t care about soccer. “I believe in you,” she says, and Yoona thinks that by you she means both the team and Yoona individually. Maybe particularly Yoona.

Yoona smiles. “Thanks,” she says softly. “Thank you.”

Seohyun puts her hand on top of Yoona’s and gives it a reassuring squeeze. Yoona feels her touch linger long after she withdraws her hand.

She won’t fail. She absolutely refuses to. She’ll win the game. For the school. For the team. For herself.

For Seohyun.

 

It’s the eighty-ninth minute and the score is 1-1. Yoona grits her teeth, throwing herself after the long crosses her team hopefully sends up the pitch. She can’t do much though; YG’s defence is practically a steel wall, and they have at least two players on her all the time. If she makes the slightest movement, they move right along with her, like dance partners who are half a beat off.

Yoona glances towards the stands again, and even though she’s too far to make out people’s faces, she can distinctively see Seohyun there, calm and composed compared to the rest of the crowd, but (Yoona’s sure) nervous for her, cheering for her.

“Yoona unnie, you’re my favourite unnie.”

Yuri dispossess YG’s top forward with a neat tackle, side-steps another player and manages to get the ball to Jessica, who takes off, leaving two opposing players in her wake. Jessica has a sure, effortless grace when she moves that Yoona’s always admired, a main part of why she’s such a skilful playmaker.

Yoona holds her run just long enough so she won’t be offside, and then Jessica’s delivering the ball to her, an inch-perfect, lofted pass. Yoona brings down the ball – she thought about dribbling and rounding the keeper, but the defenders are closing down on her too quickly, she doesn’t have time – and she strikes the ball from twenty-five yards out: a fierce, lashing shot.

The ball hits the underside of the crossbar – she holds her breath, and the entire crowd seems to hold it with her – and ricochets into the net.

Yoona falls to her knees. Her teammates are on her almost the next instant, throwing their arms around her, knocking her to the ground. She has no idea how Yuri got here from the other side of the pitch so quickly.

She gets to her feet and – she doesn’t forget, but she isn’t sure what to do, so she makes a triangle with her hands, going for a right-angled one but ending up with a lopsided kind of quadrilateral (she’s proud she remembers that word) instead.

It’s okay. She’s sure Seohyun will understand her anyway.

 

“Well, if it isn’t our MVP,” Yuri drawls with a grin.

Jessica ruffles her hair. “Great goal, Yoong.”

“Great assist.” Yoona pulls the two of them into a hug. “You guys did a lot of work in the goal too. Other people may forget that, but I haven’t. I won’t.”

Yuri ruffles her hair too. It’s a complete mess by now, and her best friends aren’t helping.

“Go,” Jessica tells her, sounding amused. “I know you want to see her.”

Yoona’s face is warm. “I—” She almost trips over her tongue. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m going. To see her.”

“I’m sure you’ll be seeing her for a long time,” Yuri says, stretching out the word ‘see.’

“I’m sure you’ll be making out with Sica unnie,” Yoona returns, sticking out her tongue and getting out of there before she gets an eyeful. She doesn’t need to see that. Ever.

 

“Unnie!” Seohyun’s face lights up when she sees Yoona. “I have something for you,” she says, holding out a bottle towards Yoona.

Yoona accepts the apricot smoothie from Seohyun, and holds onto her afterward, reluctant to relinquish her hand. “So, we won.”

Seohyun smiles. “You did.”

“I won,” Yoona says, just a touch smug. Okay, maybe a few touches. “That wasn’t a bad goal, huh?”

“It was a great goal,” Seohyun say sincerely, “but I’m not surprised, because you scored it.”

“Am I great?” The words come out playfully, but after they leave her lips, Yoona just looks at Seohyun, soft but intent, her fingers still curled around Seohyun’s wrist.

Seohyun’s eyes are so dark they’re almost black, but they’re filled with light, with warmth, with something that makes Yoona feel like she’s glowing.

“The goal.” Yoona clears . “It was for you. Did you see?”

“I saw,” Seohyun says quietly. “I appreciate it. You didn’t have to.”

“Of course I didn’t have to. I wanted to.” Yoona pulls Seohyun closer to her, grip gentle but firm, until their faces are only inches apart. “You mean so much to me,” she says quietly. “You know that, right?”

“Unnie…”

“I was thinking.” Yoona laughs, self-deprecating. “I wanted to plan this whole speech, maybe put a few math puns in there, say something all sweet and touching and meaningful. But…I’ve always been terrible with speeches.”

Seohyun shakes her head. “You don’t need to give a speech.”

“I like you.” Yoona takes Seohyun’s hands, holding them in her own, faintly trembling, ones. “I like you a lot, Seohyun. I could give you a whole list of reasons why, but I don’t think you need me to.”

“What if,” Seohyun asks shyly, “what if I wanted you to?”

Yoona is a little taken off guard by that. She smiles. “Then I’ll tell you.”

“I—” Seohyun’s throat is visibly working. “I don’t need that, either. Not now, at least.”

“What do you need, then?” Yoona asks softly.

Of all the responses she expected, it was not for Seohyun to lean in and press her lips against hers, gentle and sweet. Yoona is so stunned by the kiss that she doesn’t move her lips, doesn’t kiss back, even though she’s thought about this, thought about Seohyun’s mouth on hers, Seohyun’s body close to hers, more than once.

“Is this okay?” Seohyun leans back, asks tentatively.

“Okay?” Yoona clears . “It’s more than okay. You can. You can kiss me anytime you want.”

Seohyun’s smile is shy but pleased. It makes Yoona want to kiss her again, really kiss her, instead of being frozen, too surprised to reciprocate.

“You,” Seohyun suddenly says.

“Huh?” Yoona asks very intelligently.

“You,” Seohyun repeats. “I need you.”

Yoona really wants to kiss Seohyun again, but first she pulls her into a hug, tucks her chin against Seohyun’s shoulder, breathes in sea island cotton and apricots and happiness.

“You have me,” she says. “You have me.”

 

Seohyun makes burgers herself, and the patties are fresh off the stove when she slides them onto some fancy-looking bread lined with tomato and lettuce.

Yoona is practically salivating. “You’re too good to me.”

Seohyun just smiles. “I hope you like it.”

Yoona almost burns digging in, but it’s more than worth it. She almost moans around the burger. “This is so good,” she says. “You – you’re incredible.”

Seohyun’s smile widens. “I’m glad you like it.”

Yoona reminds herself to chew more slowly; she wants this burger to last. “Aren’t you going to have some?”

“In a little while,” Seohyun tells her, reaching out to dab a spot of ketchup away from the corner of Yoona’s mouth.

Yoona manages to eat the rest of the burger like she has a modicum of table manners. She also finishes the apricot smoothie Seohyun gave her – it might be the best thing she’s ever drank.

She suddenly remembers something she saw on a banner near her math classroom. She blurts it out before she can remember to control .

“If you were sin squared x and I was cos squared x, then together we’d make one.”

Seohyun stares at her for a solid five seconds. “That’s just – what is – there are much better puns out there, unnie.”

“Yeah, you should teach me some of them. I’m not the best at math, although I do have the best tutor ever.”

Seohyun laughs softly and kisses her, sweet like a promise. Yoona slides her fingers into Seohyun’s hair and kisses her back, until she forgets all about trivial things like math and speech and breathing, until there’s only Seohyun.