Cold. That was all that he felt, just...cold.

It wasn't beause of the weather and it wasn't necessarily from his frosty personality. No, it was just a feeling, one that he had never really had control over. He always felt cold, even in the middle of Summer. Not many knew how icy he truly was apart from his parents, but then they never tried to warm him in the slightest. If anything, they only damaged him further.

When Minseok was only a small boy, his parents discovered that he could create and control ice, but they did not discover this in the nicest of ways. You see, Minseok was only young and he didn't understand his power and didn't expect for it to decide to unleash itself in that life-changing moment.

It was the middle of summer when it happened, that fateful occurrence. Minseok was in the back garden, running around the pool, playing tag with his best friend at the time, a deer-like Chinese boy named Luhan (though Minseok had taken to calling him Xiaolu, meaning little deer), who had moved next door not long ago. Minseok's family weren't the richest, but they had enough money to live comfortably and the same went for Luhan and his family.

It all happened so quickly.

One moment the two of them were running around gleefully, but one unexpected slip caused chaos to ensue. Luhan slipped on some water by the pool and Minseok was too slow to catch him. The force from Luhan colliding with him before falling into the pool, caused Minseok to fall closely behind. However, Minseok never felt the water, he never experienced the sinking that he expected, all he could feel was a cold, hard surface.

When Minseok opened his eyes, he saw the ice beneath him, the ice that now covered the entire surface of the pool. However, the first thought that surfaced in his mind after the blankness of sheer confusion was 'Xiaolu'. For Minseok was safely above the ice, but his friend was nowhere in sight.

Minseok looked down.

He knew.

Minseok did not have time to think, but he also didn't know what to do. All he knew was that his best friend was in danger, that his best friend was drowning, his best friend was trapped beneath the layer of ice that had broken his fall, that every second counted. So, Minseok crashed his fists against the ice until it cracked, panic growing in him as every second passed. He managed to break a hole in the ice and he called for help. desperately, he called for his parents as he pulled away parts of the ice and tossed them aside.

By the time he had created a sizeable hole, his parents were out of the house, completely shocked at what they were seeing and Minseok was sobbing, brokenly calling out Luhan's name as he reached his arm into the water to try and grab his friend, who was not responding. By the time his parents realised what was going on, Minseok had already pulled Luhan's top half out of the water.

His parents quickly ran over, his mother pulling the rest of his friend away from the water. Minseok crawled hurriedly away from the broken ice and towards Luhan. He knelt by his friend's side and took hold of his cold hand, tears rushing down his face from fear.

"Xiaolu, please wake up! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, please don't leave me!" Minseok begged his unconcious friend.

"Minseok, quiet down." His mother ordered harshly as she called the emergency services and they explained to her how to do CPR while they sent an ambulance to their address.

When the paramedics arrived, Luhan was coughing up water and shaking rather violently from the shock and how cold he was. It was only once Luhan had stopped coughing that Minseok allowed himself to fling his arms around his friend, holding him close, but not too tightly. Luhan hugged back, wrapping his arms around Minseok's waist. Unfortunately for the two of them, the moment was short-lived. The paramedics asked Luhan a couple of questions to make sure he wasn't badly injured, but decided that it was best to take him to the hospital so they could run a few tests.

Luhan, however, had always been terribly afraid of hospitals and refused to go anywhere without Minseok, who swiftly got into the ambulance (shortly followed by his parents, his mother phoning Luhan's to let her know what happened) and sat by his friend's side, holding onto his hand as they travelled to the hospital. Luhan would tighten his grip evey now and then from nervousness and Minseok would quickly assure him that everything would be okay.

But, just like each of their fates from the moment of the slip, what the nervous boy asked next would be embroidered onto the elaborate tapestry of all that was, all that is and all that has not yet come to pass.

"Why was the water frozen?"

The question, which would not have seemed so unnerving without context, was floating heavily in the silent air surrounding Minseok. Silence was the worst thing that could have followed but it had appeared none the less and it was allowing a storm of thoughts, doubts, fears, and confusion to swirl around in an enclosed world that would never be heard.

"I don't know" was the whispered response.

When they reached the hospital, Luhan was taken by a nurse, straight through to a hospital room and was told to sit on the bed by the window, where a doctor would come to run some tests and ask him a few questions about what happned to him. Minseok tried to follow his friend into the room but the nurse blocked his path. He tried to explain that Luhan was afraid of hositals and that he needed to stay by his friend's side, but the nurse ignored him and kept him out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Minseok turned to his parents, expecting them to say something comforting that would reasure him that everything would be okay, but he was met with blank, slightly fearful stares. When his mother said that Luhan's mother was on her way and that Minseok shouldn't worry, she sounded distant, as though she knew that it was his fault that his friend almost drowned.

Minseok felt guilt rushing through him. He knew that what happened wasn't normal, he knew it was his fault, and he felt like a monster. He swallowed deeply, taking a shaky breath before he sat down, leaving a chair's space between him and his parents.

Five minutes after the doctor went into the room with his clipboard securey in his hands, Minseok heard the sound of his best friend's scared voice. He frowned at the way that sound made his heart twinge with pain. He was on high alert from that point, listening intently to what was happening inside the closed room.

"please, i don't want it." Luhan said, clearly scared

"Stay still. You need to have this injection. It'll be quick." The doctor answered

"Please, no! It's scary!" Luhan pleaded, louder than before

"Nurse, you'll have to hold him. He won't stop struggling." The doctor cammanded

"No! Let go! You're hurting me!... M-minseok...Minseok!" As Minseok heard his friend whimper his name in a call for help, he was on his feet, ready to fling the door open.

Unfortunately, his parents were quick enough to stop him. He struggled with all his might to get away from them so that he could help his friend. He yelled and kicked and tried to pull himself free, but he wasn't strong enough to break free from his parents' hold.

Minseok could hear Luhan crying from the other side of the door and that was when everything went cold. His skin felt cold as he stopped struggling. The door handle was completely iced over and the frost started spreading over the door. The handle snapped off just after his parents let go of him, knowing that it was indeed their son that froze their pool.

Minseok did not wase a second. He shoved the door open to see his friend standing by the hospital bed, sobbing. He ran to Luhan and flung his arms around him. Minseok gently Luhan's fluffy hair.

"It's okay Xiaolu, I'm here" He said, while sending threatening glares to the doctor and nurse. Glares that would not have seemed the slightest bit intimidating from a 10-year-old if not for the fact that said 10-year-old had just completely frozen the door and his parents were staring at the doorway in complete shock and terror.

It was unfortunate that just before the door had swung in, allowing Minseok to rush inside, Luhan's mother had seen him freeze the door. She had seen the way that frost creeped from him to the door, she had seen the way that his eyes turned a frosty shade of blue, almost white. She saw the way that he held onto her son and she didn't like it. She didn't like any of it. So, she charged into the room, grabbed her son by the arm and pulled him away from Minseok.

Minseok was surprised by the sudden turn in the situatuion. He looked at Luhan's mother and saw her defensive expression before turning his gaze to Luhan, who looked rather rattled. Minseok tried to step toward his friend, but haulted his movement when the woman yelled at him.

"Stop! Don't come any closer! Stay back, you monster!" protectively, she pulled her son closer.

Luhan was completely lost. He didn't understand why Minseok had to stay away. As far as he was concerned, there was no way that Minseok could be a monster. He wondered why his mother was acting so strangely and saying those things to his best friend, when Minseok had only been trying to help him. Luhan looked at Minseok with confused eyes and tried to move from his mother's grasp, but she held him back.

"I don't know what you are, but you are most certainly dangerous. Don't come anywhere near my son again." She ordered, her voice unforgiving and threatening.

Minseok was completely lost in the situation; he didn't understand why he was being treated like a monster when all he did was go to his friend's aid when he called for help. But then Minseok remembered how he opened the door and also the reason why Luhan had to be taken to the hospital in the first place. It was his fault. He had created that ice, so it was his fault that Luhan almost drowned, it was his fault that people were treating him like he was a monster. He supposed, from their reactions, that maybe he really was a monster; something to be feared.

Luhan looked straight at Minseok and saw the confusion and the pain in his friend's eyes, but what he didn't understand was the guilt on Minseok's face. Clearly, there was something that everyone else knew that was being kept from him. Luhan looked over at the door and saw the ice that almost completely covered it and he knew that it was Minseok's doing.

In that moment, all Luhan wanted to do was go to his friend and tell him that it was okay and that the people were wrong and that he wasn't a monster. But then Luhan remembered the sheet of ice that stopped him from being able to go to the surface of the water, the sheet of ice that stopped him from breathing and it dawned on Luhan, that his best friend had almost killed him.

Luhan felt cold, he felt as cold as the ice he was trapped beneath and his insides felt twisted and uncomfortable. Minseok had almost killed him. He almost died and it was because of his friend. Luhan knew that his Minseok would never intentionally hurt him, but he couldn't stop his trust from wavering, couldn't stop himself from becoming uncertain. It hurt Luhan to feel his trust being bent out of shape and torn, he hated it. And he hated the way that his heart stung like it had been scratched and damaged.

Damaged...but not broken.

However, even though Luhan knew deep down that Minseok didn't deserve to be treated like a monster, he still allowed his mother to pull him away and out of the room. He didn't look back and just followed his mother. He couldn't even bring himself to look at his friend again and Luhan had to place a hand over his heart to try and ease the pain, not knowing what he had just caused.

When Luhan left the room without giving him a second glance, Minseok had never felt so alone, or so utterly shaken up and broken. The words of the people around him floated around in his mind until he actually believed they were true and that he really was a monster that was only capable of hurting people. When he saw the hurt look in Luhan's eyes, it was if his whole world was falling apart.

That was the first time that Minseok experienced heartbreak.

After that incident, Minseok's parents took him to a variety of different doctors and specialists, looking for some way to "fix" him, to get rid of what makes him a monster. But none of them seemed to have an answer and it made the poor boy think that there might really be no cure for what he had, no way to get back his normal life and see Luhan again. Minseok wanted it all to end. He wished that no one knew about his strange abilities, he wished that he could be normal again and that his parents would look at him again like they used to before they knew.

But nothing would ever be the same again; Minseok knew that when he saw the moving trucks outside Luhan's house.

The days that followed seemed hollow and empty. Luhan was gone, his Xiaolu was all the way back in China and Minseok felt completely hopeless. What was he even trying for anymore? What was the point in trying to fix himself when there was no longer anyone to be fixed for? His parents would always treat him differently now, and he felt like maybe he should just stay broken.

It was a year before his parents found a doctor that might be able to help. He was experimenting with a new drug that suppresses certain behaviours and complications of the human mind. Minseok's parents were desperate to find a suppressant for his powers ever since he had an emotional breakdown in his bedroom. He had been feeling the burden of his abilities and missing Luhan with every fibre of his being to the point that it was physically painful to him. He had ended up curled up on his bed crying, eyes white and ice covering the entire room.

When they went to see the doctor, he was shocked to see someone with such a strange and dangerous ability. However, he was still kind and understanding towards Minseok, which is more than anoyone else in his life had offered him. The doctor informed his parents that the new drug was still in the testing stage and that he didn't know how well it would on someone with abilities as unique as Minseok's. Unfortunately, Minseok's parents were not in the state to think rationally or about their son's welfare in all of this, so they quickly told the doctor that the dangers of using an experimental drug didn't matter and that they would take what they could get.

The doctor gave Minseok a sympathetic look and told him that he would feel a sting in his arm and that it would be painful for a while, before he injected him with the drug. Minseok felt weird after that. It was like he was burning from the inside out and he started to panic. The pain was almost unbearable, but he couldn't stop it. He needed to cool down but his powers were no longer working. He was terrified and hurting, but a part of him was relieved that he could no longer use his powers. Those powers that changed the people around him that he thought he knew into fearful strangers and made his family and loved ones treat him like a monster.

But, like all good things, this too would come to an end.

It was a week before Minseok's powers came back and it was one of his most distructive outbursts. He was suffering and he felt like it would never come to an end. He had been looking through an old note book in the garden and come across the pages he and Luhan had written to each other, meaning to read them when they got older.

HeHe~ I am wondering what you are writing for me right now~ I hope it's good things! If you say rude things then I will kick your ! Anyway, I just want to say that I really love you and I promise that I will be your best friend forever! No matter what happens, I will always stay by your side and if something seperates us, I promise that I will always come back to you as quickly as possible! You're my best friend and you always look out for me and make me feel safe...I will always be really greatful to you and I hope that one day I will be able to repay you. I care about you more than anyone else in the world!! Love, Xiaolu

After he finished reading it, Minseok broke down in tears. All he wanted was to be able to see his Xiaolu again, to see him smiling and comfortable around him again. He wanted to hear that sweet voice telling him that things would be okay and feel those familiar arms clinging to him. He didn't want this horrible reality where he was broken beyond repair and Luhan was gone. He cried until his whole body ached. He wished that he could go back in time and freeze it so that he could spend eternity in a world where he was happy with Luhan

Minseok's emotions were out of control. His eyes turned white and the ground around him froze, the garden froze. When his parents came outside, they saw the devistation; plants dead, ice everywhere. His father was the one who held him down. Minseok was terrified from the sudden tackling and was even more scared when his mother came charging towards him with a large syringe in her hand.

"Please! No! It burns!" Minseok yelled helplessly, unable to escape.

Nither of his parents listened to him though and his mother drove the needle straight into his arm, injecting him with the suppressant drug. Minseok screamed in pain. It hurt much worse than the last time and the burning travelled through his body, blocking out the cold with an unbearable heat.

From then on Minseok's powers grew more and more resistant to the drug and eventually his parents were injecting him twice a week and then three times and then four and then every day and then twice a day until any more would cause him serious damage. They eventually went back to the doctor to get a stronger dosage, but the same thing happened again. His parents never realised or even cared about how badly Minseok was being affected by the drug. Each injection hurt more than the last, burned him for longer.

The madness continued well into Minseok's teens and by that point, he had given up on ever having a normal life, or even a life without constant tourment and a nagging fear that was always tugging on the back of his mind.

The drug had ruined him.

By the time he was 18 (though he had stopped celebrating his birthdays a long time ago) he could no longer call himself "Kim Minseok" because he believed that his former self had died years ago, along with his hope. He didn't even recognise himself when he looked in the mirror or saw his reflection in a window. His parents no longer thought of him as their son, but as a monster, a beast that they had to keep under control at all costs.

He was dreadfully thin and fragile, his skin pale like snow with multiple purple and yellowish bruises covering his arms from where the needle had been forced into them over and over again. He only had one set of clothes that fit him; some black sweat pants and a loose hoodie that were almost worn out from overuse, the fabric thin with small holes here and there. His hair was no longer the rich, deep brown it had been before, but had turned completely white from the trauma and stress. His eyes that used to contain so much joy and hope were now empty and dull.

Really, he thought that there wasn't even a little bit of the old Minseok left. Each day was hollow and empty, and he wondered why he even woke up in the morning. He knew the routine. He would get up, brush his teeth and look into the mirror wondering if he was even real or if he had really drowned with his best friend eight years ago and this was just Hell.

It wasn't long before his parents were due to charge into his room (empty apart from the bed, a sink and a mirror), hold him down and inject him again. He had grown used to the pain by now, the only times that he couldn't bare it was when they came back with a new version of the drug; a much stronger version. Minseok held no hope that they might eventully stop, because no matter how much he had struggled and protested and screamed out in pain in the past, they had always ignored him.

However, his parents didn't come into his room. Minseok was confused for a while but quickly realised that it could only mean one thing; that they had gone to get a more powerful dose of the drug. Minseok became scared, he always did when this happened, so fear was a feeling that he was all too familiar with.

Minseok opened his bedroom door, surprised that it wasn't locked and stepped out into the hallway. Taking cautious steps, he made his way towards the stairs. He walked towards the front door as quietly as he could, not wanting to alert them if they were there. He took a deep breath and gulped nervously, not knowing what he would do if he actually managed to escape. All he knew was that he couldn't handle any more pain.

He turned the handle and opened the door.

Fresh air hit him in the face, the smell of grass and flowers floated around him and the light of the outside world lit up his vision. Once his eyes adjusted to the sunlight, Minseok stepped forward, walking towards the front gate, feeling the grass beneath his feet for the first time in eight years.

He didn't have time to savour it though, as he saw his parents' car pulling up, his mother going frantic in the passenger seat, obviously having seen him outside the house. He didn't have time to think. He pulled the gate open and started running. He didn't know where he was going, all he knew was that his parents were probably not far behind him. He could hear his mother shouting but the sound eventually grew quiet and faded away.

He didn't know how he managed to run so far when he was so weak. It must have been the adrenalin, but it was wearing off. He was near the edge of town, but luckily there weren't many people out, so he didn't really get noticed apart from the occasional odd look he got, probably because he didn't have any shoes. He stumbled, his legs buckling beneath him and collapsed onto the pavement. He was out of breath and too weak to carry on. His body wasn't strong enough.

He tried to pick himself up into a sitting position, but his arms were too weak, in too much pain from all the bruises. Eventually, after a great deal of struggling, he managed to get himself sitting, supported only by his shaking arms.

"M-Minseok?" The voice had changed, but it's owner was unmistakably Luhan.

Unknown to the two of them, this moment had indeed been woven into the fabric of history, just like the slip and the question that had followed.

Minseok was suddenly finding it hard to breathe. Was it really Luhan?  Or could it be that his mind was playing a cruel trick on him? Minseok was scared to look up, because there was a chance that he was just imagining things...but there was also a chance that it was real. He took a deep, shaky breath and looked up.

A sob escaped him.

"Xiaolu." He spoke brokenly.

Luhan didn't need any more confirmation than that. He moved forward, fell to his knees and collected Minseok in his arms. Luhan had one hand running through Minseok's hair and the other on his back, pulling him closer. Minseok put his hands on Luhan's waist, clinging to his shirt as he sobbed into the boy's shoulder.

"Minseok I am so sorry...I should have never left you. I wish I had come back sooner, but I couldn't. My parents finally let me come back here to study. I regreted walking away from you the moment my mother told me we were moving back to China. I wanted to go and talk to you, I wanted to go and apologise and tell you that I forgive you, but my mother wouldn't let me. I focused on my studies and signed up for an exchange program. I never stopped thinking about you for the past eight years...Minseok...I'm so sorry...I should have come here sooner...I'm so glad I found you."

Luhan's words felt like a warm blanket of comfort enveloping him. Luhan hadn't wanted to leave him. Luhan regreted not finding him sooner...Luhan forgave him. All this time Luhan had been working hard to come back to him. As the information sank in, Minseok felt like he might be human after all. It dawned on him that he wasn't a monster, that he couldn't be a monster, because if he was then his Xiaolu would never have come back to him, would never hold him like he was the most precious thing on Earth, with not a single sign of fear...

"I missed you so much."