a/n: okay. guys. i'm sorry.

idek what this is. really. it's like my fingers do what they want and it feels like this is just nonsense.

and this is shorter than the first chapter. and i dunno if i should add another. tho, i wanna make this at least a threeshot~

​what do you say? is it good? i think it's nothing special. and it's kind of...depressing? sad?

and, you know, i had fluff and comedy as tags but i deleted them. it's not fluff anymore. it's a genre i can't put my finger on. /sulks and purses lips

now that i said this, don't be disappointed. because this is nothing compared to my other fics (i think it isn't because this doesn't make any sense).

and if it's confusing, just tell me. i'm confused as hell too.

thanks for everyone that even reads this (because i often just skip the a/n haha~

have fun (i'm sure you won't).

/throws hearteu because namu makes me

 

 

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Myungsoo can’t understand himself. It’s like because of love he’s changing and he doesn’t like it. Not at all.

‘What should I do? I shouldn’t be feeling like this.’

“Myungsoo! C’mon, don’t be a lazy !”

He looks at his oldest hyung and sighs. ‘I really should do something about it. Maybe I’ll figure something out later…’ he thinks while walking towards Sunggyu.

He trips and for the very first time, he doesn’t fall. And he does it by himself, he saves himself from falling. With a really big smile he grins at his hyung and he can’t be happier.

“Yah, how’d you do that?” the other wonders.

“I dunno but it feels good.”

They laugh and hook up arms (because Myungsoo can trip anytime soon again and he doesn’t want to risk anything) and make their way to wherever they want to go (Myungsoo already forgot where they are heading to).

 

 

“OHMYGOD!”

Myungsoo knows what will happen next.

“What’d you do without me?”

He gulps.

Sungjong grips onto Sungyeol’s shoulders and heaves a sigh of relief. “I’d probably be crying. Thanks hyung.”

He grips onto his pants and walks away. Myungsoo doesn’t need to see him with his best friend being all sweet together. But he isn’t fast enough.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there to catch you.”

He bites his lips and runs to some place he knows no one will find him. Somewhere he can release all his tears.

 

 

He cries. And his heart breaks. But he meets someone.

“Hey, Myung. It’s okay.” Her hands pat his back in a soothing way and he thinks finding her is one of the best things that happens to him. “Cry as much as you want. And if you want to talk, you know I’m always right beside you.”

 

 

And she isn’t wrong. She transfers to his school a week after they meet for the very first time.

“Hello, my name is Yoo Jiae. Please take care of me.”

Some boys swoon over her because she looks bubbly and cute.

“You’ll be sitting the-…”

Even before the teacher can assign her to some random seat, she speaks up, “Can I sit beside Myungsoo oppa?”

Mr. Jung blinks at her request and thinks about it. “Okay, but then you both need to switch to the places in the second row near the window.”

Jiae smiles encouraginly at Myungsoo. They both go to where their teacher assigns them to and suddenly, he doesn’t feel that hurt anymore.

(He doesn’t see Sungyeol glaring at Jiae, nor does he notice the longing stares he throws at him once in a while.)

 

 

“So, first ice cream, then park, after that mall and lastly sleepover.” Jiae smiles at Sunggyu and Myungsoo. “Are you ready for me to make you feel like slaves?”

He snickers at his friends childish behavior. “But you still know I can put up with you, don’t you?”

“And you all know I’ll nag you until you’ll be silent, don’t you?”

The three of them laugh.

“Hey, Myung. Can we talk?” Sungyeol comes from nowhere and takes his hand in his. “It’s really important.” he pleads with his eyes.

“Nope. Oppa is going to spend time with me because he skipped me too often the last few days!” The girl quickly takes away the hand of her oppa and runs away with Sunggyu trying to catch up.

“That girl… Aish!”

 

 

Myungsoo feels bad. All his time is occupied with Jiae and only Jiae. (Though, sometimes Sunggyu joins them.)

Sungjong tries to approach him, so does Sungyeol, but the girl (he can name as his best friend proudly) is always there, ready to make him forget what happens around him.

He really feels bad. But what can he do? He’s in love with someone and that someone always tells (or rather told) him how much he returns his feelings but … there was something going on between him and one of his (former) friends and he isn’t happy about it.

Why is he even thinking about him now? He should just forget him.

‘I can’t.’

Is it even possible to fall out of love if you fell too hard?

 

 

“Myungsoo, now!”

“No!”

“Oh, you better shut up!”

“Make me!”

“You f-…!”

“Don’t you dare…!”

The boy in the middle of those two takes step for step backwards and quickly makes his way out of everything. Jiae and Sungyeol probably don’t even notice him disappearing. It happens too often these days.

(Jiae glares a last time at the tall boy and then rushes to where Myungsoo always hides with her.)

 

 

He’s tired. He wants to make up with his beloved one and make Jiae smile because that girl’s lips don’t form a smile anymore.

He feels so damn tired and he can’t do anything about it.

‘Jiae, I’m sorry…’

“Don’t be, ’kay?”

He tries to smile but it’s forced and Jiae just squeezes his hand.

“We’re going to be okay as long as we have each other.” she cheers.

But both of them know that this can’t go on any longer. And Jiae wants to help him with pushing him. However, the boy is stubborn and she doesn’t want to be the one causing him to break down (again).

 

 

“Myungsoo hyung…”

“Hm?” He doesn’t know why he looks up but he regrets it. The look on Sungjong gets onto him and he knows he will take the other into his arms if he won’t stop looking at him with those teary eyes.

“I’m sorry… I should’ve know that it’ll affect you.”

‘NO!’ he screams in his mind. No, he doesn’t need an apology. It’s more the other way around.

“I guess your clumsiness is contagious.” The younger smiles at him to ease the tension that comes from Myungsoo alone. “But I never wanted to take him away from you.”

‘Please just stop.’ he begs.

“Maybe he was so used in catching you that he caught me out of reflex.”

‘Please, I beg you, don’t, just don’t!’

“I shouldn’t have let myself get caught by him that often, it just happened that he was there.”

‘Because he wasn’t with me.’ he thinks, his heart aching at his words.

“Though, he always left for you. He never stayed with me more than he should. Sungyeol was searching for you all the time and even though I spend time with him, we’re just friends an-…”

“Shut the up!”

The few students that are still in the room stop what they are doing and glance at them.

“H-hyung…” Sungjong’s eyes are wide open and it looks like he’s about to cry. “I-i-i…”

Myungsoo gulps. “I don’t want to see you ever again.” He collects his things and storms out of the suffocating air in his class.

 

 

He skips school the last two days of the week and stuffs himself with everything he finds in his kitchen.

“Don’t you think you should stop this?” Jiae eyes the walking black thing, going by the name Kim Myungsoo, and heaves a sigh. “Sungjong apologized and you screamed at him. Now, go make up with them.”

He lets his head hang low.

“Yah! Oppa, stop this sulking!” She goes over to him and envelopes him in a hug.

He doesn’t know what he’ll do without her. “Should I?” he mumbles.

“OFEUCOURSEU!”

And that’s what it takes for Myungsoo to burst out laughing.

 

 

He’s nervous. More than nervous. He never is this nervous when it comes to people laughing at him (though, it rarely happens). ‘Calm down, Myungsoo.’ He inhales a deep breath and almost chokes on too much air because there he is. His crush. His love. His Lee Sungyeol.

“You wanted to talk?”

The atmosphere is somewhat awkward and cold. And he knows why. “Y-yeah…” He gulps. More than one time. “Yeah.” he repeats himself.

“Okay.”

When he looks up to finally meet Sungyeol’s eyes he’s confronted with hurt. He quickly looks down again but then he meets his gaze and finally opens his mouth. “I’m sorry.” It’s a miracle he doesn’t stutter.

“For…what?”

“Everything.” His voice is steady and he thinks it’s because Sungyeol’s close for him to reach. “I-i-… I shouldn’t have ignored you.” He breathes in, trying to ease the quivering of his voice. “I was mad at your and Sungjong’s relationship. But mostly I’m mad at myself. I let myself get carried away because of some feelings I can’t get rid of.”

Sungyeol’s eyes speak to him, saying him he’s worried and wants to hug him. That gives him courage to spill out whatever he thinks is important for the other to know.

“I never wanted to get attached to someone. I always had to fight for myself and that was enough. I didn’t need to worry about my friends because they’re stronger than I am.” He blinks away the tears that threaten to pour out his eyes. “I’m not confident about everything that happens in my life. I always thought I’m alive to just be someone that nobody needs.”

Myungsoo sees arms and hands and he immediately stops them.

“I’m really sorry for ignoring you. I really regret it and you didn’t deserve that. But I thought there’s nothing else to do because I’ve a weak heart.” He grips onto his pants. “Jiae was there to support me, though I soon realized she’s not happy. And I wasn’t it either.”

It’s relieving to talk about things he always keeps to himself.

“She was the one pushing me to talk to you because after screaming at Sungjong I was nothing but a mess.”

“He told me.” Sungyeol’s voice sounds different. “He didn’t know what to do and so he cried and cried until he was too exhausted and fell asleep.”

“I’m … sorry.” It’s his fault. His entire fault. “I shouldn't have… I’m so sorry…” And he starts to cry. “H-he didn’t deserve that.” he sobs. “I was so jealous and just shouted at him because of something so stupid. I’m so, so, so sorry…”

“Myungsoo…”

He blinks, trying to make out with blurry eyes where Sungyeol is.

“Fall into my arms.”

And he trips and falls and arms wrap themselves around him.

He’s happy.

Because when Myungsoo trips Sungyeol catches him.