Past

Summer

August 10, 2012

  As I was walking through the forest, the shimmering effect of the sunlight on the leaves bewitched me. It had rained earlier, creating tiny circle diamonds on the leaves when the rays hit it. I of course had a reason why I'm here. First, studying has taken a lot of my time recently and I desperately needed to go have fun outside. As you all know, I am a top student. I've been keeping my title like that for years. I have never gone down in the ranks, but never actually climbed to the top. It's not that I didn't want to, its just that the competiton rate is kinda hellish. Like, for example: You must always keep your conduct grades 90 and above. If someone ever seen a 89 or below on your card, you're dead meat. You'll basically lose everything. Your reputation, fame, and what made you known for.

 I just needed to get away from all of that. Grades, studies, teachers, assignments. The more I thought about it the more I get irritated. Why do I even do this to myself? Oh, and there's also another reason: Park Sehyuk. He's been obssessive over me. Not letting me wear shorts or a skirt that reached up to my knees, not letting me hangout with some of my very few close friends. Sometimes it's frustating. The thing about not letting me hangout, it wasn't much of a problem really. I don't like talking, period. 

 I heard the birds, chirping away with their other birdy friends. The breeze was very cool here, just the thing I wanted. I continued walking through the path that was lead by the neon orange ribbons on the trees. The place smelled very refreshing. I looked up to the sky; there wasn't a single cloud in sight. I let myself sigh relievingly. My thoughts wandered to a lot of things. School, my social life (I'm not very active), and my love life. Should I do something about it? I could tell it to Hakyeon, my brother, but he had enough problems to deal with right now.

 Should I break up with him? Pretend like this never happened... Yeah. I should. After realizing this, the things that my classmates that said to me in the 5th Grade resufaced in my head. Frigid , heartless, doesn't care, she's not human  and all the other sorts. I giggled darkly. There must always be a bad side to the goodest face. Hah, this story is just as crooked as a twisted fairy tale. But everything I said before is still true. When I said I get embarrassed easily, cry over small things, try my best in everything I do, is all true. And I won't let anyone know. 

 Want to know the bad side? I enjoy punishing the people that has treated me wrongly, be it an accident or not, nothing will go past my eyes. Since I have a star student status, finding someone who hates the person as much as I do isn't much of a problem. Make fake accounts where and why it happened, finding witnesses to the so called accident, and finally given them a taste of their own medicince. Not that the teachers will know of course, be it in school or not, I will always find a way. No wonder I was called the 'Pretty Princess' while having the name 'Silent Executioner.'

 Why the name Silent Executioner? Easy. As you know that I'm not really into talking, I prefer staying on the sidelines. Made out with someone and haven't told a single soul? Haven't told but someone knows. Got punished for no reason? Probably because I don't like you. The school's punishements isn't exactly what you thought it may be. But I'll keep that a secret for now.

 But there's one contradicting thing about me that interferes with everything else. My short-spokeness. You don't know how much I loathed myself for it. I guess this is enough talk. I strolled through the trees, slightly damp skin absorbing the moisture of the air, making it colder when the cool breeze blew. I took out my phone from the pocket in my sweats and checked the time. 9: 23 AM.

 I thought about Sehyuk again. The way he says something isn't like it was before. Sometimes he just got mad at me for no reason. The way he acts around me is like there's a third person in the relationship. I feel like I'm the third person, and when he makes me feel special, I feel like I'm being cheated on. An idea got into my head but it immediatly went away. I hate it when this kind of things happen, especially on a test which if you perfect it you'll get famous in the school.

 A wave of uneasiness surged through my body. What if I lose everything that meant something to me? Now I remember the reason why I stopped socializing years ago, which was probably the best decision I've ever made. Then I heard a high, soprano voice somewhere.

La, la, la, la

Sing the song of life

Whilst playing the music of death

  Chills crept down my spine. The sunlight wasn't as bright as before, affecting the forest with a dim light. I heard for anything in my surroundings, just the harsh breeze blowing against my white-as-snow skin. I clutched my jacket closer, putting my hands into the pockets.