I haven't updated this story in 2 years. That's right, 2 years. When I started this story I was 17, I'm now nearly 19. And here's why 1. I told you guys about writer's block 2. I just wanted to read other's stories, not write 3. I went through a bad phase that a lot of black kpop fans go though. ization. I was stubborn and wanted nothing but a Korean boyfriend. But I felt like I didn't fit the standard so no Korean man would ever want to date me. I used Melanie Fiona as the visual for Merci Hill Because I've been told a few times that I resemble Melanie. That's right! This story was originally supposed to be a self hating pile of . The only purpose was so i could unknowingly moan and groan about my insecurities and how one of my biases would never want me. 4. things have changed. Since I acknowledged that problem I didn't want to write this story anymore, writing a story for the AMBW tag now just seemed...wrong. But today I chose to continue for the sake of the story. I just wanted everyone to know where this story was coming from & that everything I write from now on is nothing personal. 5. Kpop isn't the wonderland I thought it was back in 8th grade lol. I never fit into the fandoms because I've never be a super fan of one particular group. I was in it for the music...and my biases but even then i didn't do extensive research on them. Just knew their names & faces. I also learned that a lot of my favorite groups are very problematic and in fact do have problems with black people in general... So in summary: Writer block became a realization that this story was being made for the wrong reason, and all my biases have colorism issues. AND I WOULD LIKE TO END THIS BY SAYING I CAN'T GET THE DAMN EDITOR TO WORK SO THE FIRST CHAPTER TO MY STORY LOOKS LIKE A POORLY PUNCTUATED MESS, BUT KEEP IN MIND MOST THE AREAS WITHOUT ANY PUNCTUATION WERE PROBABLY BROKEN OFF OR INDENTED WHILE I WAS EDITING IT BUT IT WONT SAVE THAT WAY. IF YOU HAVE ANY COMMENTS OR SUGGESTIONS LEAVE THEM IN THE COMMENT SECTION OR ADD& MESSAGE ME! THANK YOU