[CONTENTID1] You Belong With Me [/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]

It was a cold morning, right there on the bay. Tao could've sworn that it was because of the excitement going around town. But he wasn't so infantile as to believe feelings had anything to do with the weather. On the contrary, the sea, the weather, had very much a mind of their own. It was one of the many reasons Tao loved the sea and that he spent over an hour jogging along the edge of the ravines, cutting the water short, making for impressive crashing sounds, the endless melody of a wave meeting it's end. The salty air, the boats at sea, trying to get whatever they could out of the cruel blue water.

 

Tao braced himself as he approached the end of the familiar trail alongside the seaside and soon came to an immediate stop, bending over to catch his breath. Was he working too hard? His new job was tiring, but now that his mother was sick, Tao needed the money to keep the payments for the house mortgage going. It didn't bother him to drop out of college, albeit momentarily, to come to his mother's rescue. If only he hadn't stopped running every now and then while he was away, he might have made it here in time to see the boat.

 

His boat.

 

How many months had it been? Two? Three? Tao couldn't quite recall the day of his departure, because it was quite hectic and depressing. Tao didn't want to leave the seaside, but his mother pretty much insisted that he move to the big city for some time, at least to get an idea about how life there was. It would all have been fine, if Tao had known how to make friends.

 

Tao was surrounded by people he knew all his life. To be in a new environment, with new faces and smiles, was an experience that he did not look at in a positive light at first. He missed the seaside, the little cottage he called his home and he missed his friends, Baekhyun and Sehun.

 

Because of the unsettlement in his heart, Tao could not learn to cultivate any love for the new place he was staying at. Which is why, when he was called home, he didn't as much as look back. He grabbed the first train there, boarded the first ferry, and as soon as he gazed upon the familiar horizon, heard the familiar sounds of the waves echoing in the dark, he knew he was home.

 

Tao settled back just as if he'd never left. But there was one thing he felt he absolutely had to do upon the night, or rather early morning, of his return. And as soon as he was assured of his mother's momentary safety, he rushed out into the night.

 

He wasn't wearing proper running apparel, but he didn't care. Losing a sandal on the way, he didn't even pause to look where he'd lost it. There was something he had to see, something he desperately needed to know. Tao reached the exact same spot, just like before, and looked out into the blue night. It was cloudy, the only golden light was the one of the lighthouse, not far ahead. And yet, despite the darkness, despite the entire ruckus going about him and inside him, Tao found him.

 

The Galaxy.

 

That's what his boat was called. And because Tao had never dared question the reason behind the name, he assumed it was because the owner, Kris Wu, enjoyed working at night and admiring the galaxies, the endless cushions of stars that went on and on forever. He enjoyed it so much he named his second home after it.

 

Tao sat down, a pang of relief washing over him. He was all sweaty and dirty, but he didn't care. It was a blessed relief to witness that nothing had changed while he was gone.

 

Well, all except one thing.

 

Chanyeol was getting married.

 

Why it concerned him he wasn't quite sure, he just assumed that the whole town knew of it, and therefore was invited to the wedding. Tao and Chanyeol were acquaintances, they'd worked at sea together on several occasions, but Tao had never grown to appreciate the man. Maybe it was because of the way he teased and made fun of him. Maybe it was because of the way he was overfamiliar with Kris. Addressing him so casually, swigging an arm around his shoulder like it belonged there. Tao found himself getting extremely annoyed to the point where he started avoiding looking at them together at all, even though Kris and Chanyeol working together was a new thing as of last year. It was due to the unfortunate death of Kris’ only friend and coworker. And now that Tao was back, Chanyeol invited him personally and so, Tao found himself obligated to stay for an extra week, before going back to his studies.

 

Tao sat patiently, cursing the neglect he'd directed towards his body. He should've known skipping a few running sessions would cause his muscles to die out. And yet he didn't mind the pain, the fact that he'd missed The Galaxy heading back to the docks, which he never would have in the past, bothered him more.

 

Tao sighed, just like that last night upon his departure, and gave the sea one last look of longing, before heading back to town, where no doubt, a swarm of young ladies was probably already out looking for him.

 

Tao took the small paths, those he knew only him and a few other runners used to avoid crowds, and made his way back through the woods. He should've expected things to be different judging by the fact that he’d been gone for so long. However, because even though he used to stare at the ground a lot when he ran, it wasn't a safe thing to do when someone was coming your way, equally dazed.

 

The collision was brutal and somewhat painful, but mostly startling. Tao was the only one that fell and that for the only good reason that the man before him was pretty much a rock on its two feet. Tao moaned but he remained on the ground for a few minutes as he considered his surroundings to be moving in an unnatural way.

 

The man remained unmoving before him, observing Tao very closely until he judged it safe to offer him his arm and help him up. Tao's eyes were having trouble focusing, but eventually, they found their way into Kris' eyes and remained there, solidified like cement.

 

Tao was pretty sure he lost his heart somewhere amongst the bushes on the side of that little path as he took in Kris' working trousers, his pushed back, and partially wet, golden brown hair and his long, muscular arm stretched out towards him. Standing over him, he was like some fallen star, some lost emblem of the sun. Tao couldn't breathe, he could only witness what was before him and feel his life-force being drained from him little by little.

 

Eventually though, Kris grew a little more concerned than troubled and spoke.

“Are you all right?”

Tao wasn't sure how to answer Kris' question. He wasn't all right, he knew as much, but he wasn't doing that badly either. Besides judging by the slight headache he was feeling creep up the back of his skull and the sudden goose bumps he was getting, he was doing just fine. This was the moment he'd dreaded most and yet he would've paid good money for it to happen. Maybe just not quite like this, in the middle of the woods, with nothing to stare at but his face. He still preferred conversing with Kris alone, in private, even though they barely talked at all throughout their entire lives. It felt like each sentences ever uttered by either of them remained, like a heavy weight on their heart, never quite forgotten always haunting them, even when they were apart.

 

Kris realized Tao was not going to reach for his arm and get up, so he squatted lower and spoke again, his expression as unreadable as ever.

 

“You're not here for the wedding, are you?”

 

Tao had forgotten how to speak and for a while, he felt as if he would never be able to speak again as he propped himself on both of his elbows, trying to get himself into a more comfortable position.

 

“No.”

 

Kris suddenly interjected. “You wouldn't be here just for a wedding.” He added pensively. “You're here because of your mother. I've heard of it.”

 

Tao nodded. Kris was right, as usual. And he seemed to be aware of Tao's personal life as much as anyone else in town. Except no one else would've, could've spotted Tao's intention right there on the spot like Kris did so impeccably.

 

Kris let out something that sounded like a sigh but it didn't have the tinge of exasperation Kris' sighs usually had. It seemed to be a simple, natural reaction; the body had some extra air to evacuate, and so it did just that. Kris scratched the back of his neck and Tao made use of that moment of distraction to sit up.

 

“I missed your boat.” Tao said, his voice not much louder than a whisper.

 

Kris looked up again and met Tao's gaze with such force that it nearly knocked him back down to the ground. Kris' gaze then lowered to Tao's mouth and lingered there for a little over two seconds, then back to the humid soil beneath them.

 

“I know. I saw you as I was getting off, actually.”

 

“How—how did you know I was there?”

 

Kris kept staring at the ground and for a good long while, Tao thought he wouldn't answer. Kris let a lot of questions unanswered. Maybe it was because words failed him, but Tao knew it was simply because he was a man of many secrets. He didn't have any relatives staying here, yet he remained working day and night at sea. He had no one of consequence in his life, which Tao knew of, besides a few friends. There was no solid reason for Kris to be what he was... except that he could possibly love being a sailor this much. It wasn't impossible. Tao understood Kris' love for the sea more than anyone else, but there were also many things about Kris that he didn't understand.

 

“I always look.” Kris mumbled into the fresh morning air. But Tao barely heard him and so he couldn't tell if it was only wishful thinking or if it was actually Kris speaking.

 

Just like a sudden gush of wind, Kris got up and this time, instead of offering Tao's arm, he genuinely reached for it and pulled Tao up in one quick swing.

 

Tao's skin burned where Kris had touched him, and he thanked the heavens for wearing nothing but a sleek tank top. Kris' hands were rough and callused by days of hard work, days spent out doing the thing he loved most. Tao could feel his pulse right where Kris had touched him and it was a good moment before he realized Kris was staring at him intently again, like he was going to beat him up.

 

Tao had always wondered why Kris looked at him so intently. But then, he always looked at people this way, with some sort of determined fashion that led you to believe that he would do anything for you. And Kris was a very generous man. As a tradesman, he always gave a good bargain for his produce and he never wronged anyone. It was as if Kris had no intention of ever making profit. And yet he did, because people enjoyed doing business with him and always gave him extra. Kris was an honorable man, a hardworking man, and there was nothing Tao admired more on this aqua planet, than Kris Wu.

 

Kris shook his head once, as if he was the one daydreaming and let go of Tao's arm. He stared at the ground again, noticing the one sandal still hanging on Tao's feet, but he made no comment on it and asked Tao if he was going to be staying for a while.

 

Tao managed to say that he would be staying until the wedding. Kris looked up, all intensity gone and replaced by something softer that Tao recognized as concern.

 

“What about your studies?” He asked.

 

Tao shrugged, but that kind of response seemed to displease Kris and left him frowning in disapproval.

 

“You shouldn't be wasting your time around here for a stupid wedding.” Kris scolded.

 

Tao kicked the dirt at his feet with the sandal wearing foot, looking down, too embarrassed to admit the real reason behind his stay, even to himself. It wasn’t all about that wedding, but he couldn’t explain that to Kris. Tao hated to show weakness.

 

“I'll manage. I just really missed home.”

 

Kris nodded, however disapproval was so blatant upon his face that even Tao could tell that he wasn't happy about this. Kris walked passed Tao and was on his way home.

 

Actually, this wasn't the way to Kris' home at all. So where was Kris headed? Tao had no idea and yet he desperately wanted to know. He didn't want to end this conversation with Kris just yet.

 

“I hear you're going to be the best man.” Tao said as he turned around to witness Kris halt the minute he heard Tao speak again. “Are you happy about that?”

 

Kris looked back from the corner of his eye and Tao wished he would've turned back, to have him face to face because it felt like he could never get enough of seeing Kris in all of his glory.

 

“Happy.” Kris whispered. A gush of wind blew down the path and for an instant, Tao felt like he was floating, floating to Kris, maybe walking, he wasn't sure, but the minute he realized he was closer to Kris, he knew for sure that he had moved to his side. It could've been a magnetic pull; God knows these two were naturally drawn to each other.

 

“Tao.” Kris said, finally granting Tao's secret wish and turning around to greet him with his raw and savage beauty once more.

 

“Y—Yes?” Tao's voice cracked and he couldn't tell if it was because he'd forgotten to swallow or if it was because Kris was looking at him so intensely again.

 

“You shouldn't skip school.” Kris said. Hardly the answer to his previous question, but it was all he had to say.

 

Tao nodded energetically, even though he didn't quite catch what Kris had said.

 

Kris lifted an eyebrow and then Tao thought he saw the ghost of a smile draw on his lips, but Kris turned away before Tao could make sure.

 

Without one more word or gesture, Kris was gone, walking down the path, his eyes dead ahead, never once looking back.

 

It was only when he managed to get home, that Tao finally realized that Kris had basically hinted that he should leave, again.

 

But Tao didn't want to leave. He'd manage to the first time because he believed Kris and the entire town approved. But the big city wasn't what Tao wanted, what he wanted was something simpler and of much more meaning. He wanted a home, something to hold on to forever. Right now, his home back with his mother was home. He couldn't build a new home away on his own, he didn't want to be alone. As a matter of fact, Tao only wanted one thing, but he wasn't sure if it was right to wish for it.

 

Tao took of his one shoe off, and skipped about the house, trying to find something to eat. He found his mother awake and sitting up in bed, with the nurse feeding her broth. Upon seeing him, she smiled weakly.

 

“There you are. Did you go running?”

 

Tao smiled sweetly at her and nodded. He tried to sound and look casual, which he achieved by crossing his arms on his chest and leaning on the doorway.

 

“I met Kris Wu on the way back.” Tao said, barely able to contain his excitement.

 

“Kris? What was he doing in this part of the island?”

 

Tao shrugged. The nurse decided to leave them alone and so Tao entered his mother's room and went to sit on the chair next to her bed.

 

“It must have been to see you, I don't see what else he'd want... coming all the way down here. He must have known you were back, somehow.”

 

Tao felt his face get warmer at the thought of Kris noticing him, of him wanting to see him at all, albeit, in a very discreet way. He found it was the best thing he'd heard in months.

 

“I do hope he'll find someone soon. The boy has been so lonely all this time.” Tao's mother said.

 

“Kris isn't much older than me mother...” Tao interjected, not quite ready to have this conversation so soon. He’d rather they talk of money and their financial situation. Tao had to head out to issue the payment to their banker pretty soon now. He planned to do so today.

 

“Oh well, you know what they say about the best man and the weddings.”

 

“No, I'm a guy mother. I don't keep track of such things.”

 

“Oh don't be like that; it is common knowledge that the best man and the maid of honor often get hitched.”

 

Tao frowned, a bit skeptical and maybe even a little bit angry. “I'm not so sure Kris is the type to marry this quickly...”

 

“I'm not saying it would happen at the wedding, silly.” She chuckled.

 

“My goodness, you haven't changed at all. You always get so serious when we talk about Kris.”

 

“Well, he is a friend of mine.”

 

“I know, dear. But friends aren't for forever, you know.”

 

“What do you mean?” Tao hated that his heart sank right when his mother finished uttering that sentence, and he hated that he knew exactly why.

 

“Kris is going to leave someday. I'll be damned to see him finish the rest of his life on that stupid boat of his. Kris wants a normal life, just like anybody else.”

 

Tao cleared his throat and got up. It was an unnatural mix of gestures, but his mother was used to it. All of their conversations about Kris finished this way, either cut abruptly or interrupted by something else. Tao went to kiss his mother on the forehead and then decided it was high time he took a shower and got out of these dirty clothes.

 

Upon entering the shower, Tao tried to clear his head of all the confusion, of all the ruckus going on in his head. As the hot water poured on his soft, tan skin, he could feel the area where Kris had touched him was still pulsating, still burning, like magma.

 

In that moment, Tao wanted to die. He wanted to die as much as he wanted to live. And the conflicting feelings were causing him to cry. Cry because he couldn't tell which was better and it was a basic human instinct to wish to live. But Tao couldn't see himself living in a universe where Kris was far and away. It just seemed so surreal for Kris to be there at all, and yet to have him gone would be unacceptable. It would be like the stars going cold or the earth lacking sunlight for a day.

 

Tao just needed to know Kris was always going to be there, no matter what happened. He needed to know that Kris belonged to this place he knew as home. There was no other way he could survive, he now knew as much. But how could he live like this? Tao wasn't stupid, he knew very well that Kris could come and go as he pleased, however if he were to get married... if he were to get married. If someone else got to be this important to him. Could he endure that? Tao could endure Chanyeol and Yixing, but could he actually accept someone sharing Kris' daily life, when he himself wished for it?

 

Could he be that selfless?

 

Tao sighed, the hot water stinging his skin and making it red and blotchy. Still he remained under the water, utterly ashamed of himself.

 

When he got out, it was only 10 AM. Tao went back to check on his mother, but he found her to be fast asleep. With a whole day ahead of him, Tao decided it was time to go salute the rest of the town, get his financial troubles dealt with and so he set out again. Maybe a good dose of social interaction would help him clear his head after all, maybe female attention would drive him mad to the point where Kris was completely washed out of his head.

 

Despite being a little light-headed, Tao felt pretty good now that he was home. The familiar hills and picturesque sights were a great comfort to him and it helped reassure him that if all else failed, he still had the seaside, he still had the beautiful green valleys and the sky above him.

 

Tao ran into Sehun first, which was a miracle considering the man worked early at his father's bakery and people rarely got to see him. He wasn't a social brute like most people his age, but he enjoyed Tao's company very much. Upon seeing Tao, a familiar, childish grin appeared on his face and Tao couldn't fight the urge to hug him, despite the crowd surrounding them.

 

Sehun accepted the hug and squeezed back, but he still shot Tao a warning glare which Tao dismissed with a small wave of his hand.

 

“How are you? I heard you got in last night? Did Chanyeol go to pick you up at the docks?” Sehun asked, but each of his sentences were weaved together which made him sound like a madman.

 

Tao couldn't help but laugh heartily at his best friend for sounding so stupid, but he felt all warm inside upon realizing that Sehun hadn't changed at all. That he was still that tall kid, with no shame whatsoever and quick retorts.

 

“I'm good.” Tao said, forgetting about the morning's events for a while as he tried to formulate the rest of his answer.

 

You've seen Kris haven't you? Sehun suddenly whispered. And judging by the way color instantly reappeared on Tao's face, he knew it was so. Sehun smiled, proud of himself. So you have, uh? I don't suppose he said a lot, did he?

 

Tao shook his head, unable to speak without sounding as thrilled as he truly was. Sehun knew all about it, all about Tao's obvious denial, but he supported Tao all the same. He would always support his friend, regardless of his choices. This was just how Sehun was; dedicated and simple. Straightforward and loyal.

 

“I can't really talk for long, I have to go help Dad set the bread out, but, you'll come around for the party tonight won't you?”

 

A party? Tao's ears suddenly unclogged and he felt he could hear everything, anything. Even the deepest echoes of his heart.

 

Would Kris be there?

 

“Yes. And... well it would be nice if you showed. I don't know if your mother can spare you...”

 

Tao nodded, biting his lip slightly.

 

“You're doing it again.” Sehun said, bumping Tao's shoulder slightly with a mischievous smile drawn on his lips.

 

“What?” Tao tried to sound innocent, but he failed miserably.

 

“You're thinking about him”. Sehun said, amused.

 

Tao shook his head, slow and hard. But it was useless. Sehun knew Tao better than Tao knew himself.

 

“Well... if you're only coming for him, I'll be very disappointed.” Sehun hinted, cocking his head to the side so he could contemplate Tao from a better angle.

 

“He's coming?” Tao breathed after a short moment of recollection.

 

Sehun nodded. “He has too. All the wedding party should be there. They say it's to honor the future weds' families but the truth of it is they're probably just looking for excuses to get drunk.”

 

The boys laughed together as they knew that their words were probably nothing but the truth. Still, once the irony had passed, Tao knew he had to give some sort of answer.

 

“I'll go. For everyone, not just Kris.”

 

Sehun nodded, satisfied. “I'll doubt he'll be able to talk with you again. He has to keep company to his Mary Berch. She's the ladies' maid.”

 

Tao felt his heart sank and he hoped to god his momentary panic attack wasn't so apparent on his face. Apparently, he did very well, because Sehun carried on without commenting on it, which he would've done if he had noticed anything.

 

“She is pretty. Everyone's saying Kris should date her. And you know, it does happen, that the best man hits it off with the ladies maid.”

 

Tao smiled bitterly. “You sound like my mother.”

 

Sehun frowned at the remark. “That is not a compliment.”

 

Tao shrugged. Sehun smiled again. “Oh. I see. Tao, Tao. You really haven't changed.” Sehun grabbed Tao's shoulder and squeezed it, to reassure him, to confirm that he was still supporting him, smiled, and then disappeared, off to help his dad.

 

Tao remained very still. He knew it was a matter of minutes, moments even before someone took notice of him here, on the main street, and greeted him and bothered him with questions. Tao suddenly regretted his decision to come out, but at the same time he was happy with the night's upcoming events. He knew he wouldn't drink much, maybe he'd even feel crowded, but it didn't matter, really. As long as Kris was there.

 

And Kris was there.

 

Kris wasn't wearing his usual work apparel of torn denims and stained white shirts. Kris was wearing black jeans, a deep blue shirt, and a dark leather jacket. Tao had dressed up without realizing it. He was wearing his favorite blue denims, a striped shirt with short sleeves and his hair was carefully pushed on the left side of his forehead.

 

He looked good, and he knew it. He liked the mysterious aura his dark hair gave him and despite the fact that his shirt was a little tight, he knew that people enjoyed seeing the shape of his chest.

 

During the whole evening, Tao had to converse with women of all ages. He knew, upon coming, that he would have to go through such a thing. Tao was a natural at conversing. He spoke with interest, listened well, but remembered little.

 

It might have had something to do with the fact that he saw Kris, standing beside that Mary Berch, stealing glances at him occasionally. It was as if Kris was struggling with the idea of going to him, but at the same time, he didn't want to introduce the woman next to him. So he remained where he was, sometimes participating in the conversation with a group of friends, sometimes only staring, albeit Kris listened. He always listened to everyone.

 

Tao gulped down some punch and thought about Yixing's wedding. How Kris had been the best man for this one too. Thinking of Yixing's wedding made him think of Baekhyun and looking around, Tao found that Baekhyun was nowhere to be seen.

 

And it's not like he could've missed him; the party was taking place on Tree Hill, which, ironically, was completely Tree free. There was not a spot of grass that was hidden to the human eye. Baekhyun was nowhere to be seen, and instantly, Tao knew that something was very wrong. Not wrong as in tragically, but wrong nonetheless.

 

Tao began searching for Sehun, as he would know Sehun would be able to answer his questions, Sehun knew everything. But as Tao tumbled his way across the damp grass, he nearly ran into a pillar of flesh and bones again.

 

It was dark already, probably past midnight. The party was almost over, but it had just started for Tao. Tao who was already lost in Kris' intense stare. Tao who couldn't use his words for a good ten seconds.

 

“You're here.” Tao mumbled. It sounded a little weak, not at all the image he was trying to project, but he really couldn't help it when perfection stood in front of him.

 

Kris frowned, confusion showing on his face. “This is a wedding party, is it not?” Kris said, his tone playful and unusually amused. It wasn't something Tao was used to, and yet it was already so familiar.

 

“Yes, I'm here.” Kris said, carefully pronouncing each vowel, weighing down the words, as if only Tao knew the meaning behind them. And in a way, he did. Kris hated going out, hated crowds, but still, he was here.

 

Tao blinked excessively as he tried to find something to say, but Kris didn't seem in any hurry to speak and so, the two men remained facing each other, silence bringing them together peacefully.

 

It was warm out, there was a storm on the way, Tao knew as much and he knew Kris was aware of it. It wouldn't be an easy night for him. He would have to leave in a few minutes, have to sail out at night only to sail back in the early hours, and Tao would be there waiting for him on the top of that cliff, just like he'd done for the past five years.

 

“Do you want to come?” Kris suddenly huffed.

 

Tao didn't quite catch the question at first so Kris had to repeat himself, but only this time, he felt the need to get closer to Tao and so he inched closer until Tao's face was barely inches away and that their thighs were almost touching. Tao felt something close to a heat wash over him but still he managed to nod, once, curtly. But Kris took it, he was always willing to take anything from Tao. He always had. Whether it was the five minutes Tao spent staring at him every morning or his attention whenever they were near each other. It was mesmerizing to watch, how these two evolved and yet remained the same for each other across the years.

 

They weren't close friends, per say. But Kris knew more about Tao than Tao knew about Kris. And Kris liked it that way it seemed. He liked to keep things to himself, to have control over his own information, and who could blame him, in such a small town where people gossip all day. But Tao knew a lot more about Kris than any other person in the whole world, and Tao was somehow aware of that, and sometimes it was enough, enough to go on living happily.

 

But tonight it wasn't. Tonight, Tao wanted to be with Kris, and even if it was to help him with his fishing, then so be it.

 

The two men set out and Tao realized too late that he wasn't wearing appropriate clothing, distracted as he was. But Kris quickly refuted that he could borrow some of his clothes for the night.

 

They didn't specifically decide on it, but Tao remained outside while Kris hunted down some clothes for him inside his own cottage. Tao couldn't believe Kris found time to keep his house in good shape while he was up all night. Sure he took some time off once in a while, but the house always seemed freshly painted, the grass was always mowed and the trash was always on taken out at the proper time. Kris could have I'm a perfectionist written on his forehead and it would've been all the same.

 

Tao shook his head and remembered how he himself, struggled to keep his own room tidy. But he didn't have time to finish that thought as Kris stepped out of his house and handed him a pair of his own denims and whites. Kris told him to change in his bathroom, and Tao hesitated. He'd never been into Kris' house before. He expected it to be a clean, neat place and upon walking inside, he found it to be pretty much so. Tao hurried though, because Kris was already late, and so, together, they strode down to the port and, setting the boat free, set off to be at sea.

 

Tao took a moment to breathe in deeply until he could hear, feel and taste nothing but the ocean. This was his favorite part of the journey, the departure, the beginning of an actual adventure. It wasn't the first time Kris had taken Tao out to sea. They've spent a few nights working the waters, putting out fish nets, bringing them back in. Tao wasn't much of a fisherman, at least, not as much as Kris was, but he still enjoyed the work occasionally. And Kris was great company. At least, at sea.

 

Kris was more comfortable on a boat than on the unmoving ground. He preferred the irregularity of the sea than the earth's constant stability. And who could blame him? He had been doing this for years, and anyone, anyone except Tao, thought that Kris would keep doing this for the rest of his life.

 

Once they reached the spot they intended, they waited, they waited for the fishes to come out and meanwhile, prepared the nets, checked the gears, made sure everything was safe. It started drizzling, and Kris was happy, because he knew Tao looked his best when he was drenched. He'd always thought that way; how pleasing to the eyes Tao's curves were, hugged by tight wet clothes. The images haunted him more than ever and he had to shake his head clear of all sinful thoughts.

 

When they were done, when there was nothing left to do but be together on a boat alone, Tao and Kris took refuge into the captain's cabin and took off their raincoats. Kris gazed out the window pensively and Tao immediately wanted to know what he was thinking about, and so, he asked.

 

Kris, as usual, remained silent for a while. But Tao knew that he was reflecting upon his answer, and he let Kris have all the time he needed. Yet, tonight, Tao was a little impatient and he found himself sliding closer to Kris, perhaps even gluing his whole left arm to his. Kris was wet and sticky, a mixture of fabric and skin rubbing together, but he didn't care. Tao wanted Kris to know that he was there, that he wanted his questions to be answered. He had so many, it felt like he could go on asking them forever.

 

“Do you think about leaving, Tao?” Kris asked quietly, his voice a low murmur against the sound of the rain, now pouring outside.

 

Tao stared at Kris' side profile and thought about saying no. Because it was the truth. Tao never once thought of leaving, not when it meant that Kris was staying behind. He could admit it now, being alone with Kris made him stronger sometimes, especially when he was aware that Kris wanted him right there, next to him. It took about five minutes of comfortable silence until Tao realized hadn't answered at all. And it wasn't because Kris showed him any sign of impatience, Tao just came to the realization on his own.

 

“No, Kris. Do you?” Tao said, clearing his throat and detaching his eyes from Kris at long last.

 

Kris smiled, a very private smile that Tao had seen a few times, and only when they talked in private.

 

“Yes, I'm afraid I do, Tao.” Kris answered calmly.

 

Tao swallowed hard, the harsh reality coming back to sink his heart down and drown it in a puddle of loneliness.

 

“I think of leaving this life behind me, I think of exploring new places, of doing things my own way. I think of having other dreams, bigger dreams, than taking fish into a port every morning.”

 

Tao felt bitterness crawl up his throat. He didn't want to be abandoned. He didn't want Kris to feel the need to leave at all. But Kris had never quite fully expressed any sort of attachment to his life. Tao was convinced however, that Kris loved life, that he enjoyed the sea. But he would never have given any inkling to anyone that it was imperative that he should live through the same routine for the rest of his life. Tao clicked his tongue, unable to shake down the annoyance growing inside of him. Why couldn't Kris get a clue and see that he needed him here?

 

“Then why are you still here? No one's stopping you. Chanyeol would be happy to take over.” Tao's words came out harsh and unforgiving but he couldn't help it. He detached himself for Kris, with the full intent of making it known that he was not all right with this. That Kris needed to get the message, coded or not.

 

“Tao,” Kris suddenly said. Tao saw him approach his side, his huge, chapped hands, reaching for his forearm which Tao hung bare for him to take without even noticing. Kris slowly encircled Tao's skin, one finger at a time and when Tao looked at Kris, he found him looking at their flesh making contact.

 

Tao's breath caught as he waited for the answer to come out, in any way possible.

 

Kris looked up again, and when he did, Tao felt his whole world crumble and turn to dust.

 

“Tao,” Kris repeated. Tao felt the need to wet his lips and so he did, and he knew that Kris' gaze shifted swiftly to stare at them.

 

“I'm staying, because this is your home.” Kris explained.

 

Tao let out a sharp breath and thought he was probably dreaming, because there was no way in heaven or hell that this was actually true. This was wishful thinking, all over again. Tao looked away, his eyes burning from forgetting to blink. He tried to pull his arm free, but unlike any other times, Kris didn't let go. Kris held on, because he knew that it was now or never.

 

 “Tao, I...” Kris tried, but the words remained trapped in his mind. Yet, he knew Tao needed, deserved, to know and hear what he had to say. So Kris shut his eyes and swallowed thickly before he began again.

 

“Remember the first time I took you out on The Galaxy?” Kris asked, his voice suddenly husky and unbearably sensuous.

 

Tao nodded although he doubted Kris was waiting for his approval to go on. “It wasn't raining like today, the sky was perfectly clear. And you said that you didn't want to leave, that you would never leave. I think you even swore it on the stars. And I thought to myself, well, it's his choice. But then a few months ago, you left. And— and, well, I thought it was strange that you should break your word. I didn't understand why you were doing it. Why you, who didn't want to leave was leaving while I, who wanted to leave, was staying.”

 

Kris sighed and pulled Tao towards him so that they were facing each other. Kris was squeezing Tao's arm unnecessarily hard, but Tao didn't complain. He was dazed, staring at Kris nose, his cheeks, his eyelids, anywhere but into his eyes... or his mouth.

 

“I also wondered why it made me so upset that you were gone at all, why I simply couldn't stand people saying how happy you must be far away from here. I didn't like it. I didn't like you not being there, observing me.”

 

Tao's breath itched, and for a moment nothing passed between the two men. Tao's hand had unconsciously grabbed the hem of Kris shirt and they'd just been giving in to the natural pull between each other to the point where their thighs were touching.

 

“I missed you obsessing over me.” Kris said, leaning in to whisper into Tao's ear. Kris said it like it was a sin, like they were both going to die for this. Maybe they would, but it's not like they cared right there, right now.

 

The sound of a storm echoed in the distance, but the men were too focused on each other to admire nature’s unpredictable weather. Tao could think of nothing else but the fact that Kris’ lips were approaching his at a dangerous speed and when they collided, when Kris’ opened and moist mouth was welcomed by his own, kissing, Tao forgot he was at sea altogether.

 

Tao hadn’t had much experience at kissing, and Kris seemed to take advantage of that as he assaulted Tao’s mouth relentlessly. Kris’ mouth was warm and pleasant, his tongue tasted like fruits and Tao remembered seeing Kris gulp down a few cups of punch. Tao smiled against Kris lips as he felt the strong man shudder as he timidly brushed his tongue against Kris’. He chuckled when he felt his Kris’ hardness against his thigh.

 

“What’s so funny?” Kris asked, a new and genuine smile planted on his lips as he leaned his forehead against Tao’s. Barely allowing any space between them.

 

“Nothing.” Tao said shaking his head.

 

Kris kissed Tao’s soft mouth once more before sighing and letting him go. Tao felt it, felt the return of sadness and the obvious severing of their small moment of happiness. It almost broke his heart, left him breathless. But he wasn't going to give up now.

 

“Kris?” Tao called as he watched Kris change the course of the boat ever so slightly.

 

“Hm?” Kris replied without as much as one look at his odd new lover.

 

“Kris, what do we do now?”

 

Kris didn’t answer right away, his gaze lost at sea. It was an important question, one he knew he had to answer even though it was hard for him. “You’re going to go back to the city, Tao. You’re going to finish school and then, if you find it in yourself by then that you still want to come back, then you will come back to me.”

 

Kris looked over at Tao and Tao froze in place. The love, the intense lust inside of those eyes… and that smile he wish he’d get to see more every once in a while. “Because let’s be honest here; you belong with me.”

 

Tao chuckled once more and walked over to Kris and hugged him from behind as he led them through the pouring rain. Tao was happy because Kris thought the same thing as him, and that for once, he found something about them, about he and Kris, to be encouraging. He felt, despite the current weather, that the sun was rising after a long tormented night alone. A chapter his life had ended, a new one was about to begin. Tao was elated that he might share it with Kris.

 

“But even then, Tao, our lives here won’t be perfect. Your mother will never accept the fact that you and I are together. Remember what she did when she learned that one of your friends was…”

 

Kris’ voice trailed off and Tao’s grip around Kris’ waist grew stronger. “You realize,” Kris started again, “that it won’t always be a happy life.”

 

“Then, we’ll just move away from here.” Tao muttered against the skin of Kris’ neck.

 

“I appreciate that thought, but where would we go?” Kris said.

 

“Well… there are other islands, there are other seas.”

 

It was Kris’ turn to laugh and Tao thought it was the prettiest sound he had heard in a while. It had been so long since he’d heard it. “I’m grateful that you should point that out, Tao.”

 

Kris was quiet and Tao felt the incredible need to kiss his skin again so he nibbled against the back of his neck until Kris couldn’t stand it and turned to face him.

 

The rocking of the boat caused them to fall into each other again and this time, Tao found courage to explore a little more, to touch a little more and maybe even rub in places he knew the other would enjoy being touched.

 

Kris let out a sharp breath as Tao’s settled over the mound hidden behind his wet working trousers and Tao could tell he was having second thoughts about this. “Should’ve stayed at my house, just like I wanted.” Kris whispered into Tao’s ear.

 

Tao blushed and hugged Kris tight, hoping that he would never have to let go. He looked out into the sea again and watched as Kris took them both home safely and that was the night Tao discovered what the true meaning of belonging was.

[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3] For Vivienne [/CONTENTID3]

[CONTENTID4] Love is nothing, without being put through the fire. [/CONTENTID4]