should i rated this?

“We’re home, do you want to take a rest? Or eat something? I can make it up for you,” since our way to my house, we haven’t talked a single word and I haven’t look at him in the eye.

I shook my head in response. “So you want to clean your self? Or change? I’ll make you a hot chocolate in the kitchen.”

Kyungsoo walked away from me and let me sit on the bed. But I said something before he left.

“Why?” asked me softly.

Kyungsoo turned his head to me. “hmm?”

“Why didn’t you asked me anything?”

He chuckled and I was a bit shocked with his response. He laughed?

“I just asked you a question whether you want to rest or clean up.” He answered calmly, but deep inside, I’m sure he knows what I mean.

“You clearly know what I mean.” I whispered as I gritted my teeth.

“No, I clearly don’t,”

And then I glared at him. “Stop being a dumb Kyungsoo. You know what I mean! Stop being careless!”

He looked shocked when I shouted at him.

“wha–“

“Why didn’t you ask me why I’m in that club. Or why I’m dancing with that guy. Or even why I’m drunk, and why I cried?!” I frustrated as I run my fingers through my hair and look furiously at him.

“And why I’m being crazy like this? Why didn’t you ask me anything? Why did you pretend that there’s nothing happened? Why didn’t you mad at me?! Why didn’t you yelled at me, why you didn’t care? Why are you so careless? So, uncared…” I whispered the last thing as I buried my face on both of my palms. I’m not crying. I just… frustrated.

So Kyungsoo walked towards me. He sit beside me and said, “It’s not like that, baby. You know it.” He put his hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off.

“No! No I don’t Kyungsoo! I don’t know and I don’t understand!” I looked at him madly as he looked shock. I sighed out loud.

I stand up and walked outside my room. Bang the door loud leaving him behind.

I sit on the couch and pull my hair. My body feels hot, my face grew red and I grew furious. I’m sleepy and tired, my body feels heavier but at the same time I feel thirsty and hyper. Maybe this is the effect from being drunk and angry. Kyungsoo walked outside my room and try to reach me. He tried to touch my shoulder once more but I walked away.

“Don’t you dare to laid your hands at me!” I hissed.

“What’s wrong with you?” Kyungsoo finally furrowed his eyebrow like I’m some crazy woman walking down in a street.

“Nothing’s wrong with me! You’re the one with a problem.” I screamed.

“What?!”

“You talked like you’re calm. Like you don’t care. Like you don’t even give a about me! You never called me like you used to, you don’t even text me and meet me!”

“I’m busy! What word in that which you don’t understand?!” he finally explode.

I gritted my teeth. “Everything! Everything Kyungsoo! Everything!”

I sigh and he scratch his hair in frustrated. His face was red and I know deep down that he’s mad too! But I don’t care and I don’t want to stop this quarrelling. He need to know what I feel this whole time.

This time, I calm myself first then keep talking, “I don’t understand Kyungsoo. I really don’t.” I said softly.

He finally looked at me as I saw his chest raised up and down.

“I don’t understand why didn’t you call me, how you didn’t even try to reach me. I don’t,”

“I said I’m busy. Don’t you hear it already?!”

Instead of mad with him, I gave him a sarcastic laugh. “Busy? Busy working? Or busy cheating behind me?”

Kyungsoo widened his eyes. “What the hell…” he mumbled.

“You thought I don’t know? That you’ve been cheating behind my back? That you’ve been seeing another girl beside me?!” I screamed to the top of my lung. Leaving Kyungsoo speechless and opened his mouth.

I chuckled, “you think I’m dumb huh? You think I don’t know what you’ve been doing behind my back?”

And Kyungsoo finally say something, unpredictable. “…You knew?”

And I looked at him. Watching his eyeballs keep going from my left to my right eye. With my watery eyes, I can’t believe it he finally confess it.

“So.. you really cheating behind my back?” I asked him again as I hold my urge to cry.

“Wait… what? What? No! I’m not cheating on you!”

“Yes you are! I saw you walking with a girl to our favorite restaurant. And that’s the day before our anniversary! How dare you!”

“What?! I thought you already forgive me! I clearly forgot that tomorrow is our anniversary! And I thought we already cleared things up!”

“No, you lied to me that day. You cheat with a noona. That noona who called you on a freaking 2 am! Boy shouldn’t come to another girl’s house when it past midnight time!”

“And how about you?! You mean you’re the only exception and you can go walk around in the midnight? In a club? Dancing to some random guy? Having an intimation like that in public? And you freaking drunk!”

I laughed. “So now you act like you care? Just because I dance with some random girl so you could sleep around in a freaking 2 am?!”

Kyungsoo yelled at me in frustration. “I’m not sleeping with anyone!!!!” his face was in a deep shade of red. His veins showed in his red neck and his chest rose up rapidly.

“Stop lying! Just because I didn’t want to sleep with you doesn’t mean you can sleep behind my back! At least told me about your needs! So I could know and even helped about it.” I screamed for the last time. We both tired with this fight and we know it.

So took a deep breath and the word slipped my tongue.

“let’s break up.”

“what?”

“let’s break up.” I told him calmly. I stared down look at the floor as I keep gulping my own saliva. Tried hard not to cry. It just slipped and as how cocky I am to take my words, I’m too embarrassed to do that.

Then I raised my head. Looked at him deeply. Kyungsoo just stared at me. Silently. His doe eyes feel like looking deeply to my soul and later I looking down again, can’t bear the looking in his eyes.

“This won’t work Kyungsoo. We don’t work. Let’s stop. Let’s break up.”

And so there’s a silent. For the first time, I’m scared. I’m terribly scared. I’m scared that Kyungsoo will get mad. So I quietly take a peek infront. There’s Kyungsoo stand infront of me. Doing nothing. Just stared at me with his big eyes. Gapped alittle and I clearly cannot see his emotion inside.

Is he mad?

Sad?

Disappointed?

Happy?

Or he even feels, nothing?

So right now I really feel scared. Kyungsoo kept silent. And silent killed me. I’m feeling bad, so I decided to take away my word. It’s not that I really want to break up anyway. It just slipped. And I didn’t want to hurt him and I really want to hug him. Telling him how I missed him that bad. But the word that came from his mouth next, shock me even more.

He didn’t say something usual.

Not like, “are you kidding me?” or “stop saying that words! I don’t want to break up with you!”

Nor “yeah, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this to come,”

“or, sure. No one likes you anyway,”

Instead he gave a reassuring smile and said the magic word what make me stare at him longer.

“okay,”

He didn’t say it like he want it in the first place. He just said it casually and that’s make me even confused with his emotion.

After that, Kyungsoo grabbed his sweater from my bedroom and take his jacket from my couch. Then he went to the kitchen while I still keep my face emotionless. Looking straight to nothing. I’m speechless and still try to understand thing.

He walked away to the front door and turn the knob. And before he closed the door, he said something but I didn’t catch it right away. It’s related to rest well or sleep well. Later Kyungsoo close the door leaving me behind in speechless. He didn’t mad at me, nor happy. He didn’t even bang the door laud at my face. He just… quiet.

I still can't believe it.

I broke up with Kyungsoo.

My Do Kyungsoo.

And not long after that, I fell on my knee and cried hard.

I can’t believe he said yes. 

dun dun dun dun what do you think? Kyungsoo really cheat on you? Comment please I really want to know your opinion! :)