The Glee Club’s airtime on the local news brings in an unexpected change in the tides.  Suddenly, the slushie attacks and dumpster dives have receded.  There’s a sudden swell in weekly tryouts, though unfortunately not in the average talent level within the audition pool.  For now, Baekhyun and Chen's positions as leading vocalists remain uncontested.

As with many hunter-gatherer communities, the shift in social dynamics at Exo High is observable during feeding time.

“Hey ladies. How’s it going--”

“Not interested; I have a boyfriend,” Krystal interrupts, without looking up from her phone. Sulli nudges her.

“Relax, Krys. It’s just Chanyeol.”

“Oh...” Krystal barely glances up.  “Well.  In that case, still not interested.”

Sulli beams as Chanyeol sits down next to her, sliding her lunch tray over to make room.  “Channie!  I missed you!  Guess what I—oh, who’s this?”

“This is Bacon! He’s a loser—“

“Hey!”

“—but I invited him to sit with us ‘cause the Glee Club is famous now.”

“...gee, thanks.  And it’s Baekhyun.”

 “Nice to meet you, Baekhyun,” Sulli transfers her smile to the smaller boy.  “I like your eyeliner!  Have we met before?”

“…I’ve been sitting next to you in history class for the past year?”

“Oh…well, it’s still nice to meet you!  Right, Krystal?”

“Mm.” Krystal is still fixed to her phone screen, and Sulli sighs. 

“She’s been texting this guy nonstop for the past month,” Sulli explains apologetically. "She's usually more interesting."

“Oh, her too?” Chanyeol groans.  “Kai is getting all weird over some girl. He won’t hang out with us anymore because he’s always videochatting her.”

"So, Baekhyun, what do you guys do in Glee Club?" Sulli asks curiously, and Baekhyun sits up straighter.

"Well!  I'm glad you asked..."

“...deluded idiot, even though I'm obviously superior in vocals, dance, appearance...and everything, really.   But not to worry!  I already have my next ten Glee Club performances planned out.  They're mostly dance numbers and power ballads, though I admit I do have several shortcomings when it comes to the latter. Ballad songs show off my range, but I don’t have a lot of experience with heartbreak, so I have difficulty connecting emotionally to most songs…”

 “You can ask us!” Chanyeol, who has been dozing off for the past thirty minutes, perks up. He takes Sulli’s hand.  “We know all about heartbreak and stuff! Sulli is my ex, actually.”

“Oh.”  Baekhyun looks curiously between the smiling pair. “Well, that’s nice that you’re still friends with your ex-girlfriend.”

“Not ex-girlfriend. Ex-wife. Now she’s just my girlfriend.”

“...”

Yes, Chanyeol and Sulli had quite a past.  It had been the biggest scandal at Exo Elementary—a first grader courting and marrying a kindergartener. Unfortunately, their marriage had been cut short by irreconcilable differences--namely, Chanyeol’s love of mud pies and Sulli’s love of white dresses.  Their 14-hour marriage ended in a tearful Sulli and a sheepish Chanyeol.  It wasn’t until eight years later, when Chanyeol made the basketball team and shot up in popularity, that Sulli decided that she was ready to give their relationship another try. 

This just goes to show that not all love stories are smooth sailing; sometimes, couples go through rough patches before they finally find each other.

“Hey Suho.”

Suho blinks. It’s not so much the greeting that’s strange, but the fact that Kris is acknowledging him in public. 

In the middle of the cafeteria.

At the basketball team table, a.k.a. the center of Exo High’s universe.

With the entirety of Exo’s population watching on.

“Yes…hello?” Suho replies warily, clutching D.O.’s homemade lunch to his chest. 

“Where are you going?”

“Investment Club meeting; we’re—“

“Sounds boring. Here, sit next to me.”  Kris pats the seat next to him.  “You can tell the midget to come, too.”

Eyes wide, Suho sits down, not before checking surreptitiously for an air cushion or unscrewed chair leg.   As Suho texts D.O. and unpacks his lunch and cutlery set, Kris rests his arm casually on Suho’s shoulder.

“Kris…?” The last time Kris had been so affectionate in public had been in junior high, before social stratification took its toll.  Suho eyes Kris warily, as though checking for alien parts.  Because there is no way that Kris, King of Exo High, is actually touching Suho, Pariah of Exo High, in front of all of Exo High.  Alien possession is more believable.  “What are you doing?”

“Just being a bro.  To a bro.  You know.  Since you’re my bro.” Kris smiles down at him with his gums slightly showing, and Suho's traitorous heart skips a beat. Kris’ blonde hair is slightly messy, his eyes are shining, and his smile is directed just at Suho.  Suho has to remind himself that they are in a public place, where pinning the basketball captain down onto the cafeteria table would probably be highly frowned upon.

From the cheerleaders’ table, Jessica watches her boyfriend with narrowed eyes.

“Everything alright, Jess?”

 “Hmph.  Just look at those roaches, trying to climb up where they don’t belong...Who does the loser club think they are?  They need to be knocked down a few pegs.”

***

At 11:59PM Sunday night, this particular missive is sent to the 823 students of Exo High:

From: Gossip Girl

Subject: Hello! xx

[Click to Open]

In 2 short months, exo high's glee club has climbed its way from a pitiful 2-man show to a public television event. But will this new exoplanet be strong enough to overcome the gravity of a looming black hole? Stay tuned as we reveal the Glee Club’s darkest secrets...

EXO EXO, GOSSIP GIRL ❤

Suho raises his eyebrow as he skims through what is obviously the popular kids’ prank of the week. Well, it’s certainly more creative than slushies to the face or tosses into the dumpster.

Kris reads over ‘Gossip Girl’’s text before rolling his eyes and returning his attention to the taped basketball game on the television screen. He knows Suho wants to gain publicity for the stupid Glee club, but this is kind of weird, even for him.

“Someone’s been watching too much trash TV,” Luhan snorts as he reads over the text.

Sehun makes a note to hide his Vampire Diaries boxed set.

Chen is busy exercising his social media skills. He uploads his weekly Broadway cover video onto YouTube, sitting back with a smug smile as the comments pour in.

love.u.like.a.kkaeb.song: u sound like a dying cat.

From Suho: Hello, my favorite adorable handsome perfect talented vice president.  How are you this lovely day?

From Suho: Incidentally, I've finished all the meals you've prepared.  Not that it has any bearing on my message; I'm truly interested in how your day is going! ^^  By the way I'll be home in an hour, in case you want to use my kitchen or anything! 

From Suho: But anyway, how was your day?

From Kyungsoo: I'll be over in an hour. Preheat the oven to 350F.

"Whoa."

"Whoa..."

It's often said that food is the way to a man's heart. As the buttery, spicy, and salty smells waft through the house, Sehun and Kai wander closer to the kitchen as though drugged.

"Do you need help?"

“What’s that?”

“Is that macaroni and cheese?”

“That looks really good.”

“We can taste test for you.”

"That won't be necessary,” D.O. replies. “Shouldn’t you two be cleaning?”  Still, the gravity of his cooking overcomes the repulsive force of his glare.  Sehun and Kai are into orbit, until they’re practically following him around the kitchen like lonely exoplanets.  D.O. sighs.

“I guess you can help, if you want.  Put on an apron first.”

Unfortunately, the Kim household doesn’t come stocked with aprons, though Sehun and Kai manage to find leftover surgical scrubs from their adventures in Extreme Home Makeover last week.

"What’s his name again?" Sehun whispers to Kai as he pulls on a glove.

"D.O. He’s Suho's sidekick or something," Kai whispers back.  "He doesn't really do anything in glee club except stare at everyone with those freaky eyes."

“I heard that.”

“Those extremely cute, butkindafreaky, eyes,” Kai corrects, in a much louder tone.  He eyes the meat knife in D.O.’s hands with trepidation.  D.O. points the meat knife toward the opposite counter.

“You two can help with the cookies.  The recipe is over there.  Bowls.  Butter. Flour.  Sugar.  Chocolate.  Trash can.”  Sehun and Kai’s heads swivel back and forth as they follow the direction of D.O.’s knife.   “Any questions?  Good, now leave me alone in peace and quiet.”

D.O. then reaches into his pocket and pulls out his MP3 player, jamming the earphones in.  "Ooh, Billionaire!"  He smiles happily and hums, lost in the sound of music.

“Hey, we don’t have enough sugar.  We need ¼ of a cup more.”

No response.  D.O. is lost in R&B-land, or maybe he’s just choosing to ignore the two freshmen.   It’s hard to tell.

“Let’s check the cabinets,” Kai suggests.  “There must be sugar somewhere.”

Sehun bends down to rummage through the lower cabinets, rolling his eyes when the first thing he sees is containers of vitamins and supplement tablets. Typical Suho.  There are even gigantic tubs of them in powdered form, labelled VITAMIN C, VITAMIN D, VITAMIN K, CALCIUM.

“What a grandpa,” Kai snickers, bending down beside Sehun.  “How much vitamins does a guy need, seriously?”

“Should we use them instead?”

“What, add them into the cookie mix?”

“Well, yeah!  It’ll be healthier! Don’t they add Vitamin D into milk ?” 

“…you’re right.  Sure, why not?”

Why not, indeed?

“Hey, D.W.—“

“It’s D.O.”

“That’s what I meant.  The cookies are done.”

“Great! put them over there...”  D.O. glances at the cookies and blinks in confusion.  “Um…why are they shaped like that?”

Kai and Sehun snicker.  D.O. stares at them.  “Well…okay. I guess it doesn’t really matter.  Hopefully the school enjoys them.”

“…the school?”

“They’re for the Glee Club bake sale.  What, did you think I’d actually trust you two with Suho’s meals?”  D.O. scoffs.  For all his protests, he takes his position as the unofficial Kim residence chef very seriously.

“Hey, why are you so nice to Suho?” Kai wonders as they pack up the cookies.  “Sehun won’t make me food, and we’ve been friends since we were babies.”

 “How did you and Suho even become friends?”  Sehun asks, choosing to ignore Kai’s statement.  Thus far, this afternoon, he has seen nothing that indicates that Suho and D.O. have anything in common, other than small statures and unfashionable wardrobes.

“Oh, it wasn’t anything special, actually.” D.O. smiles fondly at the memory.  “I just…ran into him one day.”

Three years ago…

“Wha—no! Stop!  Stop it! P-PUT ME DOWN!”  14-year-old D.O.’s small arms and legs flail uselessly mid-air as he’s lifted by a group of strong arms.  It’s only his second day of school, and already he’s been called names and picked on despite his best efforts to stay under the radar.  He’s convinced that the jocks can smell fear.

“Dumpster! Dive!  Dumpster! Dive!”

“No!  M-my mom just bought me this sweater!  Please don’t—“

THUMP!

“Ow!”

It takes D.O. a few seconds to realize he’s landed on a human body inside the dumpster, and he hastily scrambles off. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!  I-I didn’t mean—some guys threw me in here and I…” he trails off as he realizes his human landing cushion is in no state to answer.  “Oh my god, I made you cry. I-I—“ Kyungsoo awkwardly pats the boy on his perfectly ironed, and now pizza-stained, shirt.  “Hey, it’s okay…well, no, it’s not okay because this place is disgusting and we’re both covered in food and this is probably going to happen again tomorrow, but…uh…”

Damn, he really at comforting people.

After a few minutes, the crying boy finally calmed down enough to speak.  “I can’t believe him.”

“Yeah!  Who?”

“He just watched as they threw me in here!"  the boy sounds half-hysterical.  "He knows I hate getting dirty!”

“What a ,” Kyungsoo agrees. “Uh, who are we talking about?”

“Kris.  Kris Wu.”  The boy sniffles, wiping his eyes.

"Oh, the freshman who made the varsity team?  Him and Lay?"  The news had travelled all over the school the past week, reaching even D.O.'s ears.

"Stupid basketball," the boy mutters bitterly.  He takes a deep, shuddering breath, and straightens.  D.O. watches, fascinated, as he transforms from tearful to indignant in a matter of seconds.  It's like he's had practice doing this many times in his past before. “And you’re right. He’s a d-. Who does he think he is, throwing me in a dumpster?  I ch-changed schools for him, and he pretends I don't exist?!”

“What a super big ,” Kyungsoo agrees as boy continues ranting.

“I’m going to show them…No,” he turns to face Kyungsoo.  “we are going to show them.”

“We?”

“I’ll play their little game.”  A gleam enters the boys’ eyes. “And one day, when they least expects it, when I have them in my trap, I’ll crush him--Uh, I mean, I'll crush them. Hard.”

 “…sounds good.”  Actually, it sounds completely overboard and unecessary, but Kyungsoo is too relieved at finding an ally in the hell that is high school, to care that his new friend might have a few screws loose.

Life is a constant balance; you win some, you lose some.  On the day Suho loses his first best friend, he gains a new one.

***

The Glee Club’s first bake sale is a smashing success. It could be due to the phallic shape of the cookies, Chanyeol’s enthusiastic sales pitches, or simply D.O.’s recipe.  In any case, customers keep coming back for more as though addicted, and the table is completely sold out by the end of lunch period.  And so, the Glee Club rises another few levels in Exo High’s heirarchy.

“I’M FLYING HIGH, DEFYING GRAVITY!”

“AIN’T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH!”

At 3:01 p.m., D.O. walks into the choir room and  takes in the chaos inside with terrified eyes.  Baekhyun is standing on the piano, broom in hand, engaged in a screaming duet battle with Chen. Lay is playing accompaniment at the piano, eyes closed and a dreamy smile on his face.

"W-what's going on? And where are the captains?"

"OH, THEY GOT CALLED TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE OR SOMETHING."

“MAN, DODO!  I LOVE THE COOKIES YOU MADE FOR OUR BAKE SALE!  DO YOU HAVE MORE?”

“YOUR COOKIES MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE!”

 “YEAH!  WOO!  THANKS A MILLION, MAN!”

"A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR HELPS THE MEDICINE GO DOWN!"

“I’M IN LOVE, I’M IN LOVE!  DOOWOP, DOOWOP!”

“Wow…” D.O. says incredulously, a slow smile spreading across his face.  He can see the giant box of oddly shaped cookies Sehun and Kai had brought to school earlier that morning--completely empty.  Did people really like the cookies that much?  Suho always tells him he should have more confidence in his recipes, but he never truly believed his friend's words until now.

Maybe, his dreams of Food Network stardom aren’t so impossible after all.

 “Explain.”  Principal Lee holds up a plastic bag, inside of which is a single chocolate chip cookie.

Kris snickers.  “That looks like a dic—Ow!”  From underneath the table, Suho has just aimed a painful kick to his shins.

“The rocket-shaped cookies we made in honor of the Space Age, yes,” Suho lies smoothly, making a mental note to interrogate D.O. later. “What of them?”

"Mr. Kim.  Mr. Wu."  Principal Lee shakes the bag.  "Your club’s bake sale cookies were found to contain over 200% of the recommended maximum daily caffeine intake levels for adults, and trace amounts of crystal amphetamine.”

Silence. 

“…what?”  Kris blinks.

“I have had over fifty parents in the past hour calling to ask me why their children are acting like they’re high on drugs...I don't suppose you two have any idea why?  Because here at Exo High, each and every student takes the well-being of their peers very seriously.  Am I correct? "

“Wait,” says Kris slowly, his gaze darting from cookie to Suho’s face.  “Drugs?  Are you—is that seriously—“

“I think what my co-captain is trying to say, is that we have nothing to say,” Suho interrupts smoothly, standing up and pulling Kris along with him.  “Maybe you should be investigating the cafeteria instead; those 'mystery meat' buns today looked like a health hazard."

"Suho Kim--"

"Any further communication regarding this matter can be sent to my father’s lawyer.  Good day.”

“Mr. Kim, get back here!”

“How long have you been here?! Get out of my kitchen!”

Kris ignores Suho’s furious yells, holding up the tubs labelled Vitamin D. Vitamin B12.  Vitamin C.  Vitamin K.  “Are these all?  Or is there an X and Y and Z somewhere too?”

“There’s no such thing as vitamin X or Y or Z, idiot.”

“Wow.”  Kris puts the cans down, unreadable expression on his face.  “So, it's true.  You’re taking drugs.”

“They’re natural compounds—“

“That does not look natural,” Kris scoffs, eyeing the gigantic tubs of white powder.

“I…”  Suho clenches his fists.  Kris waits, eyebrow raised.  “Fine!  Just ….they help me relax and think better, ok?”

“Uh, no—“                                                                      

“And the caffeine helps me stay awake!  How else am I supposed to have enough time to study, run 17 clubs, take 8 AP classes, maintain a 4.33 GPA, and volunteer during the weekends? Huh? You tell me! I’m sure President Obama would do the same in my position!”

“I don’t think—“

“Plus, what’s wrong with needing a little boost sometimes?” Suho continues, voice climbing to a shriek.  “I’m not hurting anyone, and it's not like anyone actually cares!"

"SUHO! SHUT UP!" Suho does, with wide eyes.  Kris softens his tone when he sees panicky tears leaking out their corners. ", don't cry."

"You're going to tell everyone, aren't you?"

"...Nah. Plus, I thought I was your way to relax." Kris nudges Suho, who doesn't smile back.

"You're not always around."

"I could be..." Kris mutters.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing." Kris coughs.  "Hey, also, you know, maybe the problem is you’re just doing too much .”

“No, I’m not," Suho sniffs.  "It’s not enough.  It’s never enough.”

"Suho..." Kris rests a cautious hand on Suho’s arm. Suho relaxes, marginally, and Kris pulls him closer. “Enough for who?  Because I’m pretty sure everyone at school already knows you’re an overachieving genius.  And your, uh, parents—“

Wrong move.  Suho stiffens, and he moves away faster than you can say ‘abandonment issues.’   “All right, thank you for your words of wisdom.  I’ll consider them, perhaps, when I’m in law school and you’re working at a gas station ten years down the road.”

“…Fine, I tried!” Kris throws up his hands, annoyance returning and tender feelings disappearing.  “God, no wonder you’re so uptight all the time.  You’re ing drugged up.”

“Don’t act like you know me,” Suho sniffs.  “Now leave; I need to start on my homework, and Sehun’s coming over in an hour to do my laundry.”

Sehun’s fantasy is coming to life, in the form of Tao on his motorcycle, intercepting his way, his lips curved in a small smile.

 “Good job with the cookies.  I’m impressed.” 

“Are you talking to me?” Sehun glances left, right, behind, to confirm, before turning back to attention.  “W-what about the cookies?”

 “The ones you were selling during lunch?  I know you guys didn’t just put sugar in them.”

“Oh, the vitamins.” Sehun cringes, hoping that Tao doesn’t think he’s utterly lame. 

“…Vitamins, right.” Tao smirks.  “Sure, let’s call it that.  Anyway, sorry about last week.  No hard feelings?”

“No,” Sehun agrees.   “No hard feelings.”  That is, unless Tao is referring to feelings further south of the heart.

Tao puts his helmet back on in one smooth motion, and Sehun fights the urge to swoon.  “Do you need a ride, Sehun?”

“Me?”  Sehun can’t believe his life right now.  One, Tao remembers his name?  Two, why Tao is taking an interest in him, all of a sudden, and over some vitamin cookies?  Maybe Tao is secretly a health nut.  All Sehun knows is that for some reason, the boy of his dreams (and nightmares) is offering him a ride on his motorcycle, and damn it if Sehun isn’t going to fulfill at least one of his fantasies.  Suho’s chores and $100 bills can wait--this is priceless.

“Sure!”

1 New Message

From: Gossip Girl

Subject: Blind Item #1

[click to open]

Hi! If you're sill reading this, long time no see, for which I apologize.  Short reason/excuse is, school and personal issues during last winter. Since the Glee series finale is in 5 days, I thought I should try to finish this story up as well. My spring break starts next week so I will have tons of time to write this and all my other stories, hopefully...also, I watched a Krisho fancam at 3am today, which was a bad idea because I was already in a weak emotional state from studying for finals and T_T UGH KRISHO THEY WERE SO CUTE. ahem, anyway.  If you're still reading this, I do intend to finish.  The mystery I've been setting up since chapter 1 is beginning now: ie, who is gossip girl (or, "girl")?!?! =OoOoOoo I promise the reveal will make more sense than the actual Gossip Girl show's reveal...not that that says very much lol. If you can guess who it is I'll give you a prize, whatever you want (as long as it's reasonable and feasible)

Also btw if you're a fan of glee (esp the warblers) and krisho and haven't read it yet, you should check out this ultracute fic.  Don't drink water while you're reading it though.