It was no secret who was Exo’s guardian. And so when he lashed out in shock and pain, the world was once again thrown off balance. You see, for Suho, Exo was his world. He fought for them, cried for them, ached for them, and he would have died for any one of them. The shocking turn of events had left everyone feeling broken and confused, Suho more than some.

On the same day when Suho accepted that award on behalf of Exo, the world wondered if maybe his speech was directed at Kris. But they never wondered what was going through his mind…

~~~

“Of all the days for Kris to pull a stunt like this, it had to be today.” Suho thought to himself as he surveyed his five members. Kai was huddled in the corner, his arms wrapped around his legs, staring at nothing. Baekhyun and D.O. sat silently beside one another, both seeking solace in the presence of the other. Chanyeol was lying on his back, arm thrown over his head and gazing at the ceiling with a distinct air of disinterest. While Sehun leaned off a chair, head between his legs and hands over his face as if about to be sick.

Suho groaned inwardly, knowing that he would have to rouse the depressed bunch. Despite his determined expression though, he knew that if he could, he would be doing the exact same thing as them.

“Hey, the presentation is about to start;” he muttered with false enthusiasm. “Let’s get out there and celebrate with our fans!” Nothing but silence greeted his call, and for some reason it surprised him.

“Come on, moping around isn’t going to get us anywhere. Let’s go.” Again, no one responded. In frustration a small huff escaped him as he rubbed his hands over his face briskly. He opened his mouth, about to tell them off but then Sehun lifted his head and looked at him.

The words died in his throat as the boy’s swimming gaze dropped a stone into his leader’s already churning stomach.

“…and Exo please report to the stage for closing ceremonies.” the loud speaker blared. A ripple of understanding ran through the space, leaving each member with a perfect knowledge of what would happen next. Suho closed his mouth and turned, leaving the room with a swift and final motion. The door clicked gently shut behind him as the small man leaned back, head tilted to the skies.

“Just a bit more…” Suho cheered lamely. He shook the depression as far away as possible, and marched out to the stage, a nervous smile working its way onto his lips. He thanked the gods that be that the time was appropriate for a face veiled with uncertainty.

As the numbers popped up and the anticipation rose, Suho found himself drifting off in distraction. Try as he might, he just couldn’t summon the energy to show any form of anticipation for the score. It was as if he had become another background character in someone else’s story.

“…Exo!” Cheers erupted around the room, and he sensed the hesitation on his fan’s lips. Forcing a smile, Suho took the microphone and the award, knowing that it was up to him. As his lips parted, a moment of delirium took him away to that first win.

The screaming fans, his uncontrollable tears of joy and thankfulness, Chanyeol’s actions to save him from his own self. A moment of fear washed over him as it dawned on him…he no longer had a safety net. There was no Chanyeol to rescue him, there was no one there to take the speech and run with it, and there was no Kris to back him up.

As he came to he realized what he was saying. A raw feeling of isolation, desperation, fear, and resentment pooled in his gut as he tried to convince the world that Exo would not be finished by this; that they would live on, and that they could reach the stars once again if they worked together. Yet even as he uttered the words, he knew that tomorrow there could no longer be a together.

Overdose started playing and he sensed the stage clear. Forcing a smile he stepped back, trying to think of a good way to celebrate and perform without breaking anything. The first few notes left the speakers and he allowed the music to wash over him.

He grinned cheekily, and threw a couple moves into his steps, being careful not to drop the trophy. But somehow, he just couldn’t summon the energy necessary to share what should have been a joyous occasion with their fans. Then it hit him like a blast of thunder.

                And for that one moment he was swept away into his mid.

~~~

                The lights burst on, lengthening the screams of the cheering crowd. As a cohesive unit, the twelve men turned, each exchanging huge smiles. There was something so undoubtedly, and deeply satisfying about this moment. Together the first few notes swept them away, and for the next four minutes, the world would run according to their will.

                And then Kris stumbled. Suho glanced at him in confusion, only to falter when he saw the tall Canadian pulling himself to his feet and hanging his head. The small man frowned as he watched his fellow leader raise his eyes and furrow his brow. He glanced momentarily at all of them, and then across the stage towards the exit.

                “Kris!” he cried. “The song is still playing! What are you doing?” As if his voice wasn’t blasting over the loudspeakers, the other man ignored Suho and turned. The moment stretched into eternity as Kris neared the curtain. A few men rushed out and tried to talk to him, but he ignored them and shoved by.

                A pit of dread filled Suho’s soul as he saw the figure of Hangeng’s former lawyer holding out his hand in friendship to the quickly disappearing man. Kris lifted his hand as the words of their song whistled by his head. Slowly, he reached for the open palm.

                “Kris!” Suho cried desperately. “The show isn’t over!” The two hands connected, and a silent understanding passed between them.

                “KRIS!” he screamed. But he never hesitated. He just walked away. A ripple of pain and betrayal ran through the group as they shifted positions, desperately trying to fill the gaping hole with something…anything.

                And then the unthinkable happened.

                Luhan stopped. Suho watched in horror as he stopped singing in the middle of a line and turned to them. A sad and guilty smile crossed his lips as he too turned and followed his former leader from the stage. Vaguely he registered Sehun calling after his friend, but the bewilderment was too much for him to focus.

                For a few moments they tried to cover the second gap, but then Lay too broke ranks and ran. He scampered away and hid behind Luhan and Kris’ waiting arms. Xiumin followed next, then Sehun, Kai, and Tao all swarmed away to join their friends. Suho called after each one as they walked away from the lights while the few remaining members desperately tried to make up for the gaps.

                For a moment it seemed to be working. Although they were only five, it seemed as if they might be able to finish the show after all. And then the rapping stopped. Chanyeol closed his mouth and glared at the rest of them. Suddenly he turned, shouting and cursing the skies as he too stormed off the stage.

                Baekhyun and D.O. called to him, but he ignored them. The two vocalists exchanged a glance and then D.O. sighed, turning to walk slowly from the lights, his head slung low. Chen barked something, at Baekhyun who yelled back before the troll unceremoniously vanished from the stage.

                Something broke with a loud crack as Exo-M officially disappeared from the lights. The world waited in anticipation as they wondered what would happen. Of the twelve, only two now remained.

                Suho and Beakhyun desperately worked to make things normal, resorting to trading parts frantically and rapping lines they didn’t know. At the final minute Suho felt a spark of hope, maybe they could do this. Maybe Exo would get through this. Maybe they could salvage their song.

                And then as he stepped sideways - expecting Baekhyun to be there to help him - he found only air. Suho nearly dropped to the floor as he fell off balance. He glanced towards the vocalist and screeched in desperation.

                “No! The song is almost over! Just a few more seconds! Please!” Baekhyun stopped at his leader’s plea and glanced back. To Suho’s surprise, the gaze wasn’t filled with anger, resentment or frustration. It was just pity. Silently he shook his head and turned to the open welcome of his former companions.

                Suho cried out in rage, sheer pain erupting from his very soul and he stared into the void that had once contained Exo’s fans. The cheers faded as one by one, the audience disappeared in the despair.

                “No…” he whispered, turning to his left. Instantly he halted, seeing the frustrated and disappointed faces of his managers and former fans. He stumbled, faltering in his steps as he tried to keep the few remaining fans in their seats.

                “Joonmyun!” He looked to his right, seeing the rest of his group there. They smiled pityingly at him while Kris took a step forward and raised a hand. Suho’s eyes went wide, confusion, betrayal and pain tearing at his heart as he turned from one option to the other.

                Finally his eyes settled forward as he heard the last few lines of the performance beating through the speakers.

“We can still finish this…” Desperately he tried to keep going, but his legs refused to listen as the gaping voids left by the missing eleven ruled the stage. Determination flashed through him, it would take something big to salvage what remained.

                He ran to the center of the stage, spinning and twisting. His friends called a warning, knowing what he was doing. But Suho ignored them. He would finish this song, no matter what. A quick twist and lift and the world turned upside down as he attempted one of Tao’s moves.

                For a moment everything looked fine, he could see the past coming back. The screaming fans, the exhilarating music, the twelve bodies moving as one…

                And then the stage slammed into him. He cried out in pain as his leg twisted badly beneath him. For a moment he hesitated, an instant of silence surrounding him. With a burst of will he shoved himself up. His managers and former friends called to him, their voices blending into one.

                As he pushed up, a single light slowly flickered away. Panic blasted through him, knocking him to his knees.

                “Wait! Please don’t! Just give me a few more seconds!” He collapsed and crawled forward, desperately trying to get them to wait. But it was no use; the final moments were set now. Another light started to blink.

“…but we were almost finished…” he whispered. The managers and former members all turned, shaking their heads in disappointment. In less than an instant, he was completely alone. Suho hiccupped and sobbed, curling in on himself.

                “…just a few more seconds…it was only a few seconds…” The music echoed on, and the lights dimmed, drowning out the ghostly images of eleven bodies moving smoothly around him. Suho looked up, glaring at Kris’ projected face, only to drop his gaze in the last second. His shoulders slumped and he sat unmoving as the blackness claimed him.

                The last line of the song echoed through the speakers and then sputtered quietly. Hesitating, and finally, the music died.

~~~

                Suho’s heart broke as he realized the truth. His steps faltered and he felt his forced smile stretch at the corners. The music swirled around him like a thick snow and he paused.

                “We are one…” he whispered to himself.

                                “We are one…”

                                                “We are one…”

                                                                “We are one…”

“…less.”