“So you divide the deviation score by the standard deviation.“

 

Luhan blinked. “Come again?”

 

“You take away the mean from the score and divide that by the standard deviation.”

 

“Which is?”

 

“The square root of the variance.”

 

“And that is…?”

 

“The average squared deviation.”

 

Luhan frowned. “You’re the worst tutor I’ve ever come across.”

 

“This is basic stuff,” Minseok said, laughing. “I’m guessing maths isn’t your forte?”

 

“I was a maths genius back in school,” Luhan said bitterly, pushing away his notes. “What does this have to do with psych anyway?”

 

“You’ll need this when you start doing research.”

 

“Well, I won’t be doing research. Why did I choose psych as an elective of all things?”

 

“You wouldn’t have met me if you didn’t.”

 

Luhan smiled. “True.”

 

 

***

 

 

“Hang on,” Chanyeol interrupted. “You’re supposed to start the story from before you fell for each other.”

 

“But all of you were there,” Luhan said.

 

“During the research?”

 

Luhan nodded.

 

“Because he was trying to fatten you up?” Jongdae asked.

 

“I think it was after I caught him eating in the bathroom.”

 

“Eating in the bathroom?” Jongin said.

 

“That’s even weirder,” Jongdae pointed out.

 

“He’s my ideal type,” Luhan said, smiling at Minseok.

 

“A faux anorexic who eats on the potty?” Jongdae asked.

 

“Ugh,” Yixing said, chucking his half-eaten pizza onto the plate in front of him.

 

“Whoa, he heard that,” Jongdae remarked.

 

“What’s your side of the story?” Chanyeol asked Minseok.

 

“Well,” Minseok started.

 

 

***

 

 

‘check your other folder on fb ^.~’

 

Minseok signed out of his university email account and went onto Facebook, sensing death glares directed at his back from the other students waiting for a computer to become unoccupied in the library.

 

‘help ~ !! my course makes no sense T^T’

 

Confused by the seemingly conflicting tones of the messages, he hesitated, hands hovering over the keyboard, unsure how to reply.

 

“Some of us actually have work to do, man,” someone complained loudly.

 

Minseok logged off, swiftly deciding that he would reply once he got home.

 

 

***

 

 

“But then I forgot about it.”

 

“So that’s what happened,” Luhan said.

 

“You need to learn how to type like a sensible adult,” Jongdae said to Luhan.

 

“T bracket dash underscore dash t bracket,” Luhan said disdainfully.

 

“Now say that twice as fast.”

 

Luhan ignored him, turning to look at Minseok. “Those two days of waiting were intense. I thought you didn’t like me.”

 

“Of course I do,” Minseok said. “I just don’t go on Facebook much.”

 

“You use a Nokia phone, don’t you?” Jongdae asked.

 

“A 106,” Luhan said, laughing despite himself.

 

“It has a built-in flashlight,” Minseok reasoned.

 

“It’s not the only one,” Jongdae said.

 

“What’s wrong with Nokia?” Minseok insisted.

 

“Nothing. It’s cute,” Luhan said. “Anyway, when he finally replied…”

 

 

***

 

 

‘My sincerest apologies for this tardy reply. Would you like to partake in a light meal at Trisha’s Café while we discuss your queries?’

 

‘friend me pls? #^^#’

 

‘I have accepted your request to become my ‘friend’ on Facebook. Would tomorrow afternoon suit you?”

 

‘ok~ ^o^.’

 

 

***

 

 

“You’re on completely different wavelengths,” Jongdae pointed out.

 

“But they both sound like old people,” Baekhyun said.

 

Luhan frowned. “Just shut up and listen.”

 

 

***

 

 

Luhan was waiting in front of the café, wondering whether he should enter first and save them a table, when Minseok arrived.

 

“Sorry, I got caught up with class. I hope I didn’t make you wait too long.”

 

“No, I just got here myself,” Luhan said.

 

“That’s good. Did you want to…” Minseok trailed off, gesturing for Luhan to enter the café.

 

“No, you can…” Luhan gestured for Minseok to enter first.

 

The door opened, startling them both, along with the patrons leaving the café.

 

“Oh, it opens on both sides,” Minseok said, stepping aside.

 

“That solves it,” Luhan said, moving to stand beside Minseok.

 

They entered the café and walked up to the counter to order.

 

“What can I get you today?”

 

“You can order first,” Luhan said to Minseok.

 

“No, you go ahead,” Minseok said.

 

“It’s really not a problem,” Luhan said.

 

 

***

 

 

“I think I’m going to smash a plate,” Jongdae said.

 

“You and me both,” Sehun said. “Except it’s not plates I’m thinking of smashing.”

 

“Anyway,” Minseok said, turning to Luhan. “We ordered, we sat down, and I taught you z-scores.”

 

“And I said you’re the worst tutor I’ve come across,” Luhan said.

 

“And I said-“

 

“Just move on already for god’s sake,” Sehun groaned.

 

“I have a question,” Tao interjected.

 

“Yes?” Minseok said.

 

“If Luhan’s attracted to you because you’re his ideal type, then what made you attracted to him?”

 

“I like pretty people.” Minseok shrugged.

 

“I didn’t think you were so shallow,” Luhan said, smiling.

 

Minseok smiled back at him. “Look at your wrinkles. You’re getting older and uglier.”

 

Luhan laughed. “Not all of us can look like steamed buns.”

 

Jongin frowned. “They’re smiling, but doesn’t it sound like they’re about to kill each other?”

 

“Maybe we should tell them about the party,” Minseok said.

 

“The party? Are you sure?” Luhan asked.

 

“I don’t know. Am I?”

 

“Just tell us about the party,” Kyungsoo muttered under his breath.

 

“Trust me, you don’t want to annoy Kyungsoo,” Jongin said.

 

“Well, I invited Minseok to the PSA party…”

 

 

***

 

 

“What happens once we’re inside?” Minseok asked when they were standing in line in front of the campus bar, waiting to get their tickets checked.

 

“Don’t tell me you’ve never been to one of these before. Aren’t you in fourth year?”

 

“Suho and Kris aren’t exactly the partying type.”

 

“That’s why you have to pick the right friends,” Luhan said.

 

“I’m guessing you go to all of them? Even the ones that have nothing to do with you?”

 

Luhan chuckled. “If I know about them, I’ll be there.”

 

“What do you like about them?” Minseok asked, handing the doorman his ticket.

 

“Cheap drinks,” Luhan said simply, walking into the bar. “Which I’m going to get now. What do you want?”

 

Minseok smiled. “Whatever you’re having.”

 

 

***

 

 

“And then everything got a bit blurry,” Luhan said.

 

“So what was the whole telling not telling bull for?” Sehun asked, exasperated.

 

“Well, when I get drunk I get a bit,” Luhan paused, searching for the right word. Apparently not finding any, he shook his head. “I’m not sure what happened.”

 

“I was sober the whole time, I can tell you what happened,” Minseok said. “I’ll have to censor you though.”

 

 

***

 

 

“Did I ever tell you about that crack as fudge research thing?” Luhan said to the small group of friends gathered around him.

 

“The bicycle one?” one of his friends asked.

 

“No, where the fudge have you been? That’s fudging ancient, bro,” Luhan slurred.

 

Minseok tapped the girl beside him on the shoulder. “He can’t be drunk already, can he?”

 

“Who, Luhan?” the girl said. “He gets drunk on alcopops.”

 

“You know what I was?” Luhan asked.

 

“An ego dystonic homoual?”

 

“No, you fudgewit, a fudging narcissist.”

 

“That’s actually a good one.” One of his friends snickered. “Wasn’t there a theory that narcissism and homouality were related?”

 

“Fudge you, bro. Get on my level, and then talk .”

 

Minseok frowned. “I thought he parties all the time?” he asked the girl.

 

“He never learns.”

 

“And that was where I met Minseok,” Luhan concluded whatever he was saying.

 

“You’re finally coming out of the closet?” one of his friends spoke up.

 

“When was he ever in the closet?” said another.

 

“Fudge you, bro,” Luhan said.

 

“You wish.”

 

“Don’t you think this is getting a bit out of line?” Minseok said to the group. “Aren’t we all psychology students here?”

 

“Psych is fudged up,” Luhan said.

 

“It’s a free 7,” one of them said.

 

“Then why do I have no fudging clue what’s happening half of the time?” Luhan asked.

 

“That’s ‘cos you’re dumb as fudge.”

 

“Fudge off.”

 

“Psychology is a work in progress,” Minseok said. “I’d hope that the people studying it would be a bit more mature.”

 

“Which era are you from?” the girl beside him asked, laughing.

 

“You should really pick better friends,” Minseok whispered to Luhan.

 

“What? I can’t hear you,” Luhan yelled at him.

 

Minseok shook his head. “Shouldn’t we leave now?”

 

Luhan waved the idea aside. “I’m getting more drinks.”

 

 

***

 

 

“What kind of people are you friends with?” Chanyeol asked Luhan.

 

“Who were those people?” Luhan asked Minseok.

 

“I thought they were your friends?” Minseok said.

 

Luhan frowned, trying to recall faces. “My drinking friends, I guess?”

 

“Anyway, after you got more drinks-“

 

“You actually let him get more drinks?” Jongdae asked.

 

“Well, I thought a cider wouldn’t hurt.”

 

“I’m judging you so hard right now.”

 

“Anyway,” Minseok persisted. “After he got more drinks…”

 

 

***

 

 

“Did you say,” Luhan halted, grabbing onto Minseok’s arm when he stumbled.

 

“You should sit down,” Minseok said, guiding him to the nearest seat.

 

Luhan plopped himself down. “Did you say that psych was a work in progress?”

 

“Yes, I did,” Minseok said, sitting down beside Luhan. “You really shouldn’t drink if you can’t handle it.”

 

“Don’t you think they should make their fudging minds up before trying to teach us anything?”

 

“That’s why you have to be critical of what you learn.”

 

“For how long was being gay considered to be a pathology?” Luhan asked bitterly.

 

“It’s not anymore,” Minseok said.

 

“Do you think what that said was true?”

 

“Which one?”

 

“Do you think I’m narcissistic?”

 

“Well,” Minseok paused. “Do you think I’m narcissistic?”

 

Luhan let out a short chuckle. “No.”

 

“So there you go,” Minseok said. “Theory disproved.”

 

 

***

 

 

“If we ignore the fact that Luhan is an alcoholic with closet problems, basically your story is you got drunk and had a heart to heart, and now you’re inseparable?” Jongdae said. “That is so vanilla.”

 

“Vanilla’s good,” Luhan said, tilting Minseok’s chin to face him.

 

Minseok smiled at him. “My favourite flavour.”

 

“What about blueberry?”

 

“Nothing beats blueberry mint.”

 

“Did I miss something?” Jongin asked, brows furrowed in confusion.

 

“Well, we’re up next,” Jongdae said, turning to Baekhyun.

 

“Okay, I’ll start us off,” Baekhyun said. “When the research ended…”

 

 

 

 

 

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a/n: excuse me while I discreetly go back and delete the part where I said the other chapters would be longer...

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